CircleBumpCheckedFilledMedicalBookmarkBookmarkTickBookmarkAddCheckBoxCheckBoxFilled

Why Does My Toddler Say “No” to Every Question I Ask?

My formerly agreeable baby now says "no" to absolutely everything I say. Bedtime? No. Milk? No. Lamborghini? No. It's so frustrating! What changed?
save article
profile picture of The Bump Editors
Updated March 2, 2018
toddler girl saying no and covering her face with her hands
Image: Juli Williams

This may be an annoying phase in your tot’s development, but it’s an important one. She’s learning to decide for herself what she wants and doesn’t want (separate from what you, her parents, want). So, unless it’s a safety hazard, of course, encourage it.

If you really do need an answer, though, you may also want to experiment with questions that aren’t yes-no. In other words, instead of asking, “Do you want lunch?” ask, “For lunch, do you want cereal or a peanut butter sandwich?” If she’s saying no to something that isn’t really a choice — taking a bath, for example — stay with it: “I see that you’re sad because you want to stay downstairs, but it’s time to go upstairs to take a bath. Let’s pick out some toys that can go in the bath with you” or better yet, make a game of it: “Where are your favorite toys that go in the bath?”

Please note: The Bump and the materials and information it contains are not intended to, and do not constitute, medical or other health advice or diagnosis and should not be used as such. You should always consult with a qualified physician or health professional about your specific circumstances.

save article
ADVERTISEMENT

Next on Your Reading List

toddler girl choosing clothes from closet
This Viral Bedtime Routine Helps Prevent Morning Wardrobe Meltdowns
By Wyndi Kappes
mother and toddler daughter sitting on the couch reading a book together at home
How to Tell if Your Toddler Is Smart
Medically Reviewed by Lauren Crosby, MD
father talking to toddler daughter while playing at home
Early Childhood Parenting Style Could Influence ADHD Severity in Kids
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
toddler painting on bathroom door
Toddler Discipline: Why Toddlers Act Out—and What You Can Do About It
Medically Reviewed by Dina DiMaggio Walters, MD
7 Weird Toddler Behaviors That Are Actually Normal
7 Weird Toddler Behaviors That Are Actually Normal
By Jenna McCarthy
baby sucking thumb while sitting in stroller outside
Why Babies Suck Their Thumbs—and When to Curb the Habit
Medically Reviewed by Dina DiMaggio Walters, MD
toddler girl knocking behind glass back door
How to Deal With Your Child’s Separation Anxiety
By Rachel Morris
ADVERTISEMENT
father holding baby's hands while walking
These Are the 13 Best States for Babies to Get a Strong Start
By Wyndi Kappes
toddler sitting on couch and having a temper tantrum
Toddler Tantrums: Why They Happen and How to Cope
Medically Reviewed by Dina DiMaggio Walters, MD
close up of baby's eyes
Signs of an Overstimulated Baby (and How to Calm Their System)
Medically Reviewed by Lauren Crosby, MD
ADVERTISEMENT
toddlers playing side by side
The Different Stages of Play and How They Help Kids Learn
Medically Reviewed by Dina DiMaggio Walters, MD
millennial mother talking to toddler at home
73 Percent of Millennial Moms Share This Parenting Style
By Wyndi Kappes
baby playing alone with toys on the floor
Why Is Solitary Play Important for Babies and Toddlers?
By Lisa Milbrand
ADVERTISEMENT
toddler touching head in pain
Is Head Banging in Babies and Toddlers Normal?
By Cindy Hovington, PhD
baby lying on pink blanket with tongue out
Pediatrician Goes Viral After Sharing These "Secret" Baby Milestones
By Wyndi Kappes
toddler hugging smiling mom
10 Ways Toddlers Say ‘I Love You’—Without Actually Saying ‘I Love You’
By Lauren Barth
baby with two smiling moms reaching for pet dog
5 Research-Backed Ways Dogs Can Benefit Baby
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
entrance of chuck e cheese's
Chuck E. Cheese Snubs Black Child in Latest Incident of Mascot Racism
By Wyndi Kappes
three proud and confident children smiling outside
How to Raise a Confident Kid
By Nehal Aggarwal
Praise From Parents May Improve a Child’s Persistence, Study Says
Praise From Parents May Improve a Child’s Persistence, Study Says
By Nehal Aggarwal
ADVERTISEMENT
Article removed.
Article removed.
Name added. View Your List