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How can I teach my child what “no” means?

I really don't want to raise a spoiled kid, but I also hate seeing how unhappy my toddler gets when he doesn't get what he wants. How can I teach him what "no" means -- without him thinking that I don't care?

Re: I really don't want to raise a spoiled kid, but I also hate seeing how unhappy my toddler gets when he doesn't get what he wants. How can I teach him what "no" means -- without him thinking that I don't care?

The Bump Expert

By saying no to your toddler, then ultimately giving in and letting him have whatever it is that he wants, you’re teaching him that "no" means "you’ll get your way eventually if you keep pushing." If you really want your toddler to listen to you when you say “no,” you have to stick to it. Consistency is crucial, or he'll learn that challenging you is an effective strategy -- not a road you want to go down.

The expression and tone you use will also make a big impact on whether he thinks you don’t care, as you put it. The reason why you set limits for your toddler is to keep him and your family safe, happy, and healthy. You know that -- so communicate limits in a warm way that conveys that.

The Bump Editors

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

HE CAN HANDLE IT. He's not going to hate you for life or think that you care nothing about his feelings and emotions if you say "no, don't touch that." Stay strong and ALWAYS WIN every toddler battle.

purplebackwards |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

I firmly say "no" and explain why (that will hurt you, it is time to go, etc.) When baby cries I pick him up and say. "I know that made you mad (or sad, or angry), but I love you and I don't want you to get hurt (or whatever reason for the no). Then I redirect his attention and it is over in a minute.

mjlacewell |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

I am a pre- k teacher. I also have a 15 month old of my own. Saying no is necessary sometimes, but when you can offer another choice that is something you approve of. for example, when my daughter has grabbed a bill off of the counter and is investigating it and thinking about ripping it, I tell her this is mommies, but gigi can have this paper. I then hand her a colorful piece of junk mail. She has fun playing with it for 10 or 15 minutes and we did not have to have a melt down over the issue. She also did not "get her way" but I provided a new and acceptable avanue for her to explore. If you do have to say no about something be sure that you follow through. Even if you have to tell them no and remove them from the situation 10 or 20 times. They do need to learn boundaries.

hreinhardt |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

I once heard someone say, "With love comes discipline". I agree with that whole heartedly. You do not discipline because you do not love your kids. You discipline them because you do! Being a parent does not mean making your kids happy all the time. Remember, eventually they are going to be adults so you need to guide them towards behaviors that will be acceptable throughout their lives and raise them to be kind, responsible, capable people. They will love and respect you more for it.

mdhohenshelt |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

I've found that saying "No, we don't do this. Instead, we do that" helps the best because you are not only teaching them what they shouldn't do, but also what is considered good behavior as well. Of course sometimes, a good firm "NO" is the only effective method.

shoedawg06 |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

Yes, consistency is the key; you don't say 'no' and then spoil him. He may get upset and even cry at the beginning but in the end he will get used to it and understand the true meaning of it. Plus, children forget faster than you think. I got a psychology masters degree, that's why I know some things about raising a child. We had a special course on that, apparently it helped.

TheodoraMorce |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

I've recently took a degree in human services and I learned a lot of things about communication between parents and children. One of them is that when you say "no" to your child you have to explain him why not to do that because if not they will certainly try to do that until they find the answer.

ankasava |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

There's no easy way to do that. He will cry and get upset but you don't want to spoil him and give him the freedom to get whatever he wants because he will end up manipulating you. I wish a masters degree organizational leadership would help in this situation but it doesn't. You have to do whatever you find appropriate. Let your mother's instincts guide you.

CallaAltena |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

You need to explain to your child WHY you are saying 'no'. Just saying 'no' is not going to help at all. Right from the time my boy was crying, if he did something I didnt' want him to, I would pick him up speak to him to explain why he should touch the bin pedal i.e. it is too dirty and could make him sick etc. Now that he is 20 months, I still very very very very rarely say 'no'. I will say 'Leave it alone please, it is not a toy/too dirty/too dangerous'. If he doesn't obey then I get down to his level and explain why he shouldn't do or touch that. Children understand reason a lot more than we give them credit for. Please, please, please donnt just say 'no'.

Proxburgh |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

I have only a master in health administration, but I know many things about babies. If you associate the word "no" with something bad, that your child is scared, like fire or darkness I can bet that you will have some success. I am sure that your mother instinct will tell you better what to do.

delaco32 |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

I have only a master in health administration, but I know many things about babies. If you associate the word "no" with something bad, that your child is scared, like fire or darkness I can bet that you will have some success. I am sure that your mother instinct will tell you better what to do.

delaco32 |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

There are a lot of ways in which you can teach your child what "no" means but the most important is to explain him why not to do something and which are the consequences of doing something prohibited. I remember that when my little boy was six months old I was studying for a mba operations and he tried to throw my courses in the toilet. I've stopped him and I explained to him that those papers were very important for me and he was not allowed to play with them.

astridanc |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

It is very difficult to teach your child what "no" means. I have a seven months baby boy and he is very dynamic. Last week I was searching for some emergency management degrees on the internet and I let him in front of the computer while I was preparing his food. It was only ten minutes but it was enough for him to disconnect the computer cables and to cancel all my operations. At the beginning I've got mad but after that I realized that it was just a baby and I have to explain to him very carefully that what he did wasn't right.

Ritarit |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

It`s hard making them understand what no means.My sister took her three year old daughter to a Little Girls Pageant Dresses and believe she didn`t accept a no when she saw the dresses.

ioana06 |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

I kow it can be very hard to be firm and not give in to our precious little ones. One smile or hug and we melt. But i try to be firm and I give him simple reasons. For example, when we were at a BBQ and he wanted to go by the grill, I kept telling him no and I would say danger. When we tell our babies no and we stick to it, we're actually teaching them boundaries which will be crucial with any socializations they engage in.

gisellesadorra |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

It's quite hard to learn your kid what "no" means. It's even harder to make him respect that. I work in public administration and you're right about the tone of your voice. A calm voice can chill even the most recalcitrant people, while a stringent one can be very annoying. The thing is that you must never go back when you said the magical "no".

TawnyCollyn |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

I'm afraid of saying "No" to my child, because I fear he might become fearful of doing things if I forbid him this or that. What if by not letting him be who he wants to be I am stopping him from projecting career of a judge of policeman, where authority is necessary?

CheyanneEdith |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

A friend of mine who got into nursing abroad once told me that if you don't teach your kid what NO means now, you're going to have real troubles with him later on; just think about the times you're going to take him shopping with you and he is going to throw himself on the ground if you don't get him who knows what. Good luck and be brave!

Christian Guillaume |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

I guess that my child has inherited our obstinacy. Me and my wife both wanted healthcare management careers, but we argued a lot about that. Sometimes I laugh when I see my son who chooses to argue with his other kids rather than play with them.

RonAbner56 |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

When he was just a toddler I had some tough times teaching him what "no" means. Later, when he got older, I told him a story, instead of just negotiating. He prefers the one in which I start a healthcare management career. He likes that someone who starts with almost nothing can achieve his goals, no matter what.

RonAbner56 |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

Children can be carefully and easily educated by the power of leading example. Make them see right from wrong by always doing the right thing and knowing how to avoid the wrong things to do. They will follow your example and they will prove to be more responsive to the education that you are providing for them. These are the main premises for a healthy education, these are the leaders of tomorrow that are to go study policing strategies or any other topic related to community development.

conquerer |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

I will be honest with you on this one and I will tell you that there is no exclusive method on how to educate our children on telling right from wrong, what "no" means and how they should entirely flag the situations they should regard to as avoidable ones. This is something they will learn later on in prep school, in college, by interacting with people at work, in their spare time, by means of their own experience.

sensicalanne |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

Many parents don't know when to be severe with their kids. You don't have many available options: either you are very patient, either your kid will rock the house. Once he's exaggerating, you should point out where he goes wrong.

LenBrannon |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

I grew up on the word "no". But my parent's didn't "explain" it to me. I learned what it meant if I continued doing something they told me not to do. Sometimes that can be the greatest method. A whole generation grew up and became very productive members of society, fought wars and even started some revolutions in the America's... simply because they learned FOR THEMSELVES what "no" meant. It's hard to watch your child hurt themselves because you warned them, but they felt the need to attempt it anyway - but honestly, I believe it's the best way for someone to learn quicker than simply redirecting or pulling them from a situation. What doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger. However, there are exemptions to this - such as saying "no, don't touch. It's dangerous." Sure, the kid will cry or whatever, but they will keep trying. if it's truly dangerous it is safer to pull them away or redirect them. But in many cases the child is learning with their senses - touch, taste, smell, see, hear... And sadly, pain is a major factor in learning to stay away from something (the FIRST time around). Plus it will get their attention a lot quicker than if you were to simply "reason" with them... which in and of itself is not always effective with children who can not understand a word you say until much later in life.

KathrynFN87 |

How can I teach my child what “no” means?

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How can I teach my child what “no” means?

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