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Does having a second child make that much of a difference?

My life pretty much revolves around baby’s life right now, so I’m not sure how different things will be once a second child comes along. What are the differences between having one child and having two children?

Re: My life pretty much revolves around baby’s life right now, so I’m not sure how different things will be once a second child comes along. What are the differences between having one child and having two children?

The Bump Expert

Remember the "you should be sleeping while your infant is sleeping" rule everyone told you to follow the first time around? Well, when you have a toddler too, all bets are off. Your chances to clock a little naptime are few and far between (except the rare occasion when they’re napping simultaneously). It takes time and hard work before their schedules mesh, but eventually you’ll get in a rhythm.

And that's just the beginning of the differences. Your toddler will probably feel insecure or jealous and demand extra attention from you. And, at the same time, you may also feel guilty because you’re not giving the new baby as much attention as you gave your first child. But don't forget that your older child will also be there to fill in the blanks by lavishing the new baby with some extra attention himself.

But there is a bright side: Before your first baby was born, you probably felt nervous about becoming a mom -- but this time around, you're already a mom. You can feel more confident in your parenting skills now that you’ve had some time to hone them.

The Bump Editors

Does having a second child make that much of a difference?

My oldest boy kind of acted out right before his little brother was born, but now the transition is kind of easy, ecspecially now that one's at school. Two is just slightly :)

MaLvAiNiE |

Does having a second child make that much of a difference?

My first was 2.5 yrs when our second little girl was born. Its rough and tough, potty training accomplishments went out the window again, not only did the older one not want to go anymore but trying to take 20 min out every few hours just wasn't happening. My 2.5 yr old which may just be that phase became very agressive, bossy, and tons of backtalk. She constantly wanted attention and every second I need juice, I need a snack, I want to read, I want to play... that on top of the second one crying and screaming non stop was beyond overwhelming. They never napped together until almost 4 months, so mom and dad got no sleep. Not to mention the splitting of duties then one gets the older, one gets the younger so we then never saw eachother. My husband was frustrated because the baby screamed at the sight and attention of him, often leaving me to the constant screaming, meanwhile he was short and frustrated with the older one who I felt I was constantly disciplining or pushing away and ultimately never really getting to see or snuggle. My husband was also then frustrated because his previous daddy's girl now only wanted mommy too. There was just no winning. From everyone I spoke to they said it doesn't really get any better with a greater age difference and friends who waited 5-6 yrs between says that could almost be worse. Just trying to survive and get past what we hope will be a bump spot in the road.

CSW1134 |

Does having a second child make that much of a difference?

There are differences but each family experiences something different. My oldest who was 2 yrs 3 months when number two showed up was not so happy. Plus, we made the HUGE first time parent mistake of including our almost 2.5 yr old in a lot of the plans/decision making...it was fun to ask - well, what do you think? When number two came along we didn't really care too much what he thought about certain things. But, HE thought his view was all important and at 5 he still does. You've never been so exhausted. We were just getting back into sleeping really well and getting down a system and that goes right out the window. However, as one of the previous posters said you are more confident and calmer about being a parent (more sure of your decisions and mommy insticts) so all the things that were really tough with number one you breeze through with number two more or less. I found being a first time and third time mom to be much harder than when we had number two. Most of my friends are pretty evenly split or a little more towards feeling that the second time around was not as tough as being a first time mom.

ccs0521 |

Does having a second child make that much of a difference?

My kids are 9 years apart and its perfect. I knew we wanted another one, and we were able to include her in the discussion. She is old enough to help, can be completely independent when necessary and is old enough to understand the needs of a baby. Also, she loves being a big sister because there isn't a threat of any kind or age competition.

natfox3213 |