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Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

I am currently 7.5 months pregnant and my husband has told me that he is just not attracted to my belly. It hurts to hear this, but I appreciate his honesty. I still have needs and desires, though, and I feel like this should be compromised and that he should still make an effort. Am I wrong to expect this?

Re: I am currently 7.5 months pregnant and my husband has told me that he is just not attracted to my belly. It hurts to hear this, but I appreciate his honesty. I still have needs and desires, though, and I feel like this should be compromised and that he should still make an effort. Am I wrong to expect this?

The Bump Expert

Let's get this important issue straight. In an ideal world, you're absolutely right, there should be compromise in the bedroom just as there should be a compromise in every other aspect of a relationship. But because we are living in the real world and this is a temporary situation, to force the issue of him not finding your pregnant belly attractive by insisting he meet your needs could be very damaging to your relationship.

No one should be forced into sexual activity that actually turns them off because we all have our own likes and dislikes. By pressuring your partner to compromise on his sexual dislikes, you run the risk of turning him off from sex with you altogether and that is not helpful!

Therefore, my advice is that you shouldn't expect him to make love to you, but rather ask him to fondle you with his hands or use a vibrator to stimulate you to orgasm. You can also masturbate and pleasure yourself -- pregnant or not.

Dr. Pam Spurr

re: Q: Husband doesn't like belly?

I'm only 6 months pregnant and already dealing with this issue. I'm still very small and hardly showing... I totally understand the hurt it causes to get this from your husband. My issue with 'not expecting him to make love to me' is that if he can spend time with porn he should be able to 'use' some of that 'energy' on me. We're talking about men here... men... the sex that seems to not care what they are 'doing it' with... so why can't they 'do it' with their wives?! I have a huge issue with just being 'ok' with my husband acting totally disconnected... it's not like we as wifes aren't sometimes totally turned off by our husbands. But for some reason when the tables are turned women are expected to just get over it and 'take care of him'. I'm really not into this way of thinking.

cksddamd |

re: Q: Husband doesn't like belly?

In am 7.5 months with twins, which is considered a high risk pregnancy, and my husband has read that sexual activity can cause contractions. Therefor he is worried that it will put me into early labor so he has not been interested in months. Is this true? I already spoke to my doctor and she said it would be fine but I can't get him away from the idea that it will cause problems.

radebczak |

re: Q: Husband doesn't like belly?

I think your husband is crazy for telling you that....is he clueless?I am sure you are beautiful!! That is not a good honesty in my opinion...he should be more sensitive and grow up a little! It's not always about him and if you want to be sexual than he should fulfill your desires.

aandaroth3412 |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

Maybe your husband is just too embarassed to say that he is afraid to hurt you or the baby. My first husband was like that when I was pregnant with my first child. He would hold me and then as soon as I wanted to get intimate...he would pull away and said that he just didn't like my pregnancy body. I found out later that he was just afraid of hurting the baby. My current husband, on the other hand, can't keep his hands off me and I am totally irritated by it! I am 36 weeks and just want to punch him in the face every time he tries to grab my chest! lol

mistiliah |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

My husband is uncomfortable with it b/c he is worried he will hurt the baby (even though he knows he won't) and he just finds it somewhat of a turn-off... He thinks its more cute than sexy he says. The big thing is to find room for compromises. It really does hurt to hear and sometimes its hard for me to understand but you just have to remember that you can't force him to do it if he's not ok with it, and he can't expect you to just have a switch to turn off your sex drive. You both need to come halfway. You'll make it through.

autumnstar68 |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

He has to understand your feelings. It would be like if he had a horrific habit that you adapt to because you love him. This is your unborn child. There's nothing unattractive about it. Its a beautiful thing, and he has to make you feel beautiful. Try talking to him about how it makes you feel when he says that he doesn't like your belly. Its almost like saying he doesn't like the baby! cause thats what it is!

WhitBaby |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

My husband just thinks its plain weird.. he describes it as the same thing as having sex with the baby laying in the bed. Which is kind of weird... He also has a hard time because anytime we try to do anything the baby decides to kick and that just reminds him the baby is RIGHT there... for him its just too much.

linziplease |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

My husband doesn't like my belly either. He doesn't like how it bumps him when I give him a hug and he doesn't really like the way it looks. The thing is, I am very cute pregnant. I've eaten healthy and exercised throughout my pregnancy and I have only gained weight in my tummy. Even my belly isn't very big. I don't even look pregnant at all from the back. Still, my husband has been totally turned off for awhile (but he isn't really that into sex in the first place). One thing that has seemed to help is to do it from behind. I think that that way he can pretend I'm not pregnant and doesn't have to look at my belly. It also helps if I keep on my gown or t-shirt that I was wearing before. I know it hurts your feelings when he doesn't think your new silhouette is adorable, it has hurt mine too and made me feel like a cow, but just listen to all those other people who tell you how cute you look. That's what I've done. I just keep thinking about how sexy I'm going to look in a couple months when the baby is here and I have lost my weight, or at least most of it. Oh and have your friends give you compliments in front of him. When that happens (especially when it is a guy that says I'm hot pregnant) it seems to make my hubby like the way I look more.

jes1404 |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

I have had the same experience with my husband being afraid to hurt the baby. Great timing as my libido is through the roof! It, in all honesty, has been one of the hardest parts of my pregnancy. The lack of intimacy is really tough to take (we've only been married for 18 months). It has made me feel like just a vessel for our child more than I already do! Another husband at his job, however, told me that he loves it when his wife is pregnant. They can't keep their hands off each other. I'll tell you... I am really looking forward to the 6 week post natal check up and the a-ok from the Doc!!

emmalucy |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

during my first trimester, i wanted sex all the time and it didn't bother my husband at all, now that i'm 31 weeks he doesn't want anything to do with me sexually and it makes me feel so unattractive. when i was pregnant with our first one he didin't mind at all. i don't whats so different this time around. i'm half tempted to tell him that if he doesn't want to touch me now then don't bother touching me afterward when i get my figure back, but i know that will just make things worse. i've never minded that he looks at porn(sometimes we would watch it together) but if he's watching that and not showing me any kind of affection, then we got a problem. we used to be a very sexual couple even after 7 years, and i know its just the belly but it sure doesn't feel that way. i just keep telling myself that i will not be pregnant forever and i will get my figure back( right in the middle of bikini season too!!!)

tarac8508 |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

My husband doesnt tend to like my belly either! I am 36 weeks at the moment and havent had sex since weeks 22. I tell him that I miss him (in that sense) and that we should give it a try. But ever since week 22 when we tried to I started bleeding and he got completely freaked out with the situation. Ofcourse everything was fine, I called my OB and said that it happens. Now that the pregnancy is coming closer to an end I find myself wanting it more. My husband says that now with the pregancy so far along he feels there is an actual baby in there and doesnt want to hurt her in any way. I guess we are going to have to wait weeks after I deliver.

BumblB |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

I FIND WHAT THE EXPERT HAD TO SAY WAS DISGUSTING AND NOT REALISTIC. I went through the very exact thing in my third pregnancy. I found that if I stimulated him and dd the lil things that he liked in the bedroom with foreplay and dress-up fantasy he found me to be sexy even though I was 8 months pregnant. And we had great sex and actually we matured sexually and learned new ways to please each other in the bedroom. later on he apologized for ever making the comments that he made.

ESTHERDEANDA |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

I am going threw the same thing right now, im 28 weeks pregnant. Me and my husband have always had a very healthy sex life, having sex almost every day. We started trying to concieve and he always made comments on how hot and sexy he thought pregnant woman were. Now that I am pregnant he dosnt really want anything to do with me. I try talking about it and he says he has just been stressed out, but im lucky if I can even get him to hug me. It does hurt very bad, and lately its all I can think about, I have cried alot about it, probably a little emotional because of the pregnancy but I am just hoping that things will go back to normal after the baby but I have a feeling it might get even worse with a new baby in the picture. I couldnt wait to have a child with him but if I knew it was going to be this way, I honestly would have never gotten pregnant.

dimndsaregrlsbf |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

Let me just say one thing...if my husband ever had the audacity to say that he thought my carrying his child was a turn-off he would be living at his parents house...hows THAT for not sexy. Maybe it is because my husband & I are both in the medical field, maybe its because we are both super excited about the idea of creating and growing a completely new little person together and maybe its just because he is mature enough to appreciate his wife despite what it has done to her figure, but even though I feel fat and ugly he has benn 100x more attracted to me since the moment we found out we were pregnant. If he didn't & the dared to tell me that...well this baby would be finding a new daddy

jb272 |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

jb272, I am with you all the way!

his_sky |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

I completely agree jb272

kchuml00 |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

Thanks to the Dr,Autumn and a few others, u have hope of keeping sane and your relationship good. My hubby is the same way and although I was hurt at first, it became an issue of facing reality that ppl are different and it's not all about my emotions. Although my body wasn't different right away (and I even lost weight at first) his mindset was completely turned off of sexual attraction. He hasn't admitted yet that its due to fear (of hurting the baby,etc) however no matter what the reason is, it's a matter of respecting his feelings. Just because we think a certain way doesn't mean men or your spouse should be judged for thinking/feeling differently. My husband is very excited about our daughter coming and taking care of me so the whole issue of not liking you or his baby is ridiculous. I do take care of his needs and even mine when we're together...he actually gets very excited when "I use him" ;-) but cant get himself to initiate. It's a mental thing.Pregnancy is temporary and if you two love and respect each other, you shouldn't be as hurt about his mental "disturbances" , LOL. Oh, n btw, appreciate the honesty. Many women want the truth but cant handle it, only causing more unecessary issues. Men bleed just like we do. Respect.

missq2bw |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

To all the woman whos husbands dont like your pregnancy belly. You all need new husbands. Does he not expect that your looks will change over the years? I think I would leave my husband if he ever told me such a thing. I feel very sad for all you ladies and wish you the best with your self absorbed husbands. Its sad that such men exist.

Zippitydoda2010 |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

Are you kidding me???? Maybe your husband needs a kick in the nads ....i would slap mine in the mouth for saying something so stupid and insensitive. Does he realize that he is the one who knocked you up? All of you giving "nice" and "understanding" answers towards this husband's attitude need a reality check. We preggies are life bearing, strong, and wonderful women. Don't you dare let anyone including your spouse make you feel unattractive. You are a bearer of life and that alone is beautiful! I guess I am so lucky because my husband still calls me hot and loves my body even with my bump. Even if he didn't find me attractive anymore, he would NEVER say that to me because he is not an insensitive douche.

sdarjean |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

SDARJEAN, AMEN!!! I totally agree!! I'm reading all this appalled! My husband is super attracted to me, and I'm 9 months pregnant! He's always telling me how sexy I am and snuggling up close to me. He makes me feel so beautiful and not like a cow in the slightest. Any husband saying that his pregnant wife is a turn off or not attractive needs to be slapped! What a completely horrible thing to say about ANY pregnant woman, let alone your wife who needs to be reminded at times that she IS beautiful and is doing an amazing thing in her pregnancy! She should look to the husband for comfort, not be hurt by him.

skyler.kayla |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

I understand that it can be difficult to accept changes in our spouses' bodies, but come on. My husband and I have had to modify our sex life to accommodate a big belly, and I don't think he finds it super-attractive, but we're married; we're one person now, and he needs to be fulfilling his sexual desires with me. It may take more of a stretch now that I'm round and big-bellied, but I think we've both really grown from having to work through this. I mean, we want to be married until we die - how will I look when I'm in my seventies? It is totally unacceptable for husbands to look at porn or masturbate by themselves instead of find pleasure in their wives, especially for months at a time. How selfish and cruel. How would he feel if you refused to have sex with him if he grew a beard or shaved his head or went bald or gained ten pounds? And he wouldn't even be making a new and incredible person at the time! Ugh. Grow up, fellas, or don't become dads.

srmmm09 |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

Is he brad pitt? Unless he is some unbelivably flawless body then he has no room to talk... tell him to get over it. You'll still have to get with him when he's fat and bald so he can deal with 5 months of a little (cute natural NORMAL) belly. Now if your wearing grannie panties and your hair is a greasy mess with no makeup then i dont blame him for not finding you attractive.. But if you get all done up clean and pretty and throw on some cute panties there is no reason for him to not get turned on.

ggazia |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

My boyfriend doesn't find my belling attractive either. He says that I'm attractive, but my belling isn't. Personally I think he should find beauty in the fact that I'm carrying his child. However it does make me worry about things to come later. What if I have a c-section and my stomach doesn't quite heal the right way, or what if I have trouble losing the weight after the pregnancy. Men don't realize that the things they say really affect women in different ways. I mean, if I have a hard time losing the weight or have an emergency c-section, is he still not going to want anything to do with me bc he finds my stomach unattractive? Men wonder why women have low self-esteem and focus so much on physical appearance and to me this is a prime example of why.

jlj1135 |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

There is something wrong, either he is afraid to hurt the baby and instead had hurt you, or your relationship is built on a superficial basis. What if you gained weight, or what if he gained 30 pounds as many people tend to do over the years? What happens when you both get wrinkles and everything starts to sag.

cbelcredi |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

Further to my previous post, something else to look out for is cheating. I recently read that one of the most likely times a man will cheat is when his wife is preganant. If he's not getting it from you, and you had an active sex life before pregnancy, make sure he's not getting it from someone else.

cbelcredi |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

I really feel for you women who's husand's do not want to be intimate with you during your pregnancy. It is the most beautiful time in a woman's life and a pregnant body is gorgeous. I am always looking at my belly because I think it's so beautiful, same with my husband. Does your husband not get turned on by how big your breasts have got? Also, maybe tell them how orgasms while pregnant can be the best and biggest you have ever had. Before I got pregnant I was able to have them but it took a while, now it doesn't take that long and they are AMAZING!! Making your woman have an explosive orgasm is usually a big turn on to a guy, so maybe this will help feed his ego and make him want to do it again and again. Sex also feels different for the man because of how things have changed down there, but according to my husband, it's a good change. If he still doesn't want to get it on, break out your battery operated friend in front of him. Maybe if he sees what pleasure you get from that, he'll want to take over.

aksnowball |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

My husband also finds it a turn off, but hey girlies we need to toughen Up because though it hurts like heck to hear that from "the one" we need to member that they love us and isnt that what matters most...? and i mean this gives us a chance to just show each other how much love there really is in others ways besides sex =)

jackieinfantry91 |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

Husbands who love their wives don't say that a pregnant belly is a turn off. Especially not a pregnant belly that they caused. Where are women finding these losers and why are they settling for less than the best?

littleplum |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

they don't have the right to say that to us.... we are the ones that have to put up with our body changing and hormones and having a human being comming out of us... They will never understand about what it's like to go through what we do. This stupid so called expert is an idiot. She obviously didn't go through this.

jack321 |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

Your husband sounds completely shallow and mean. And, the expert seems to go right along with him. Sex should involve emotion---like the fact that he loves you---and being pregnant should only intensify those types of feelings. I am sorry you are having this experience. Maybe you should be the one considering cutting people off.

leembr1 |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

If any husband tells his wife her "belly" turns him off, I would have to question what kind of father he's going to be. Some individuals may say one thing has nothing to do with the other, but the expectations of the baby you made together alone should cause him to be in awe of your "belly", not turned off. And, if he feels that way sexually, he should be a better man and keep it to himself. Karoline S. Business Cash Advances

KarS123 |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

I'm laying in bed next to my hubby and reading this crap to him. I too think as well as he, that its sad that any of you ladies have to deal with such douche bag husbands. Their is NO EXCUSE for him telling you his immature selfish feelings. If they really feel like that... they need to keep it to themselves. Don't they realize you are this way because of them?? IT takes two to tango baby... and if they don't like it they can go and kiss my hot preggo arse! It makes me sick.... I am soo lucky to have a hubby who constantly tells me how hot I am.. even when I just look at him and say no I'm not. If I'm not feeling it its just my insecurity.. not his. He loves me for me... and loves me even more that I am preggo. I seriously can't believe that there are husbands that are saying this to you all. Seriously mine would be out the freaking door... with a big Texas sized boot up him bum. Luckily... he isn't like your husbands. Ladies... if he is acting like this now... he is probably one of those guys who is gonna cheat. Sorry... I'm just saying it like it is. Selfish, immature, and all about looks. Mornons... who should be kicked to the curb. Good luck all... I'm going to go and get some action from my Man now... he can't keep his hands of my preggo body. Thank God!

michaelens |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

My husband is so afraid that he will hurt the baby. I am 34 weeks and we haven't had sex in over 1 month. Before that it was sporadic and I had to pretty much beg for it. I understand his fear nomatter how irrational it is. I hate the fact that we cant have sex now, because I am for once in my life feeling great about my body. I am not self concious at all. However, I know that after the baby comes, and I am trying to shed the excess weight, that I will be very self concious and then I wont want sex......but he will be back on track again. Ughhhh. I have just stopped mentioning it to him. If he wants it bad enough, he'll either come to me, or take care of himself. I take my needs into my own hands....literally....daily. This helps relieve my stress. Since I am the one going through this pregnancy and all of the symptoms, I don't feel guilty about it. He can mastrabate just like I can!

foster1682 |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

Just hire a few strippers Sydney and you might just fix that problem. Of course, this is not a solution that can work for anyone. Please use it only if you think that your husband will feel comfortable doing this.

IsabellaCC |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

where in the 'rules' does it say that a man must be turned on sexually by what's in front of him? why can't he be turned on by what turns him on? i'm at 32wks, my husband is very frisky & can't get enough of me and the belly. i don't like my body & often prefer to just hold him while he 'takes care of business'. it's not that he's not turned on by it - it's that i can't get frisky with this thing inside me moving & shuddering. i think it's unfair to expect someone to suddenly be turned on (an involutary reaction, by the way) by something that just doesn't do it for them. if there's plenty of love shown in other facets of the relationship, then why force this one?

Tusia |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

I think it is normal for your husband to look at you differently when you are pregnant for a number of reasons. I have talked with my husband about this, because it does freak him out. He is worried about hurting the baby. He thinks the belly is beautiful, but not necessarily a turn on. Also, he made a good point to me that some of the turn off is my own self-esteem during pregnancy. Beforehand, I was always very sexual and confident. Now I constantly complain about how I can't fit in my clothes and how much weight I am gaining. When my libido does hit, and I portray my old confidence again, it completely changes his attitude toward the pregnancy. Look, I know that hearing that the man you love is unattracted to you hurts, but I am so much happier that I have a husband who will answer me honestly and talk to me about it to figure out a solution. It really has helped. And in addition, I have noticed that I care less about sex the further I get into the pregnancy and am just happier cuddling with him without getting fondled all the time. I would give the guy a bit of a break, but still make sure that he understands your feelings. In my experience, my husband has tried a lot harder after we talk about it.

monky13grl |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

im 7 months, and i always catch my boyfriend looking at my belly. I asked him if he likes it, and he was just like, well, its just a belly.. So im taking that as he doesnt :( .. it does hurt my feelings but i just try to make him laugh about it sometimes, and see that there can be good about a bigger belly ..

Salamander23 |

husband-doesnt-like-pregnancy-belly

My husband loves the belly ! He has never once told me my belly wasn't attractive, he makes me feel beautiful <3 For the husbands who say its unattractive yue oda be ashamed ! That's something you both created, Js....

LiliannasMommy |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

My husband also loves the. Not sure how "strippers Sydney" would help. I have to say my man finds me no less sexy pregnant than not. I always make an effort to wear sexy maternity lingerie and spice things up as normal. Important to make the relationship the centre of everything.

NataliaZur |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

My husband doesnt like my belly in a sexual way, i'm 30 weeks right now with our second child and when we decide to have some fun i'm always facing away from him, so he doesnt have to look at my stomach and its easier for the both of us (my growing belly doesnt get in the way and isnt being squished) With our first child, I always wanted to have sex, and he would turn me down a lot because of my belly, i found out after our son was born that he was keeping himself entertained with porn and that really hurt my feelings. We talked about it and he knows what he did hurt me so this time around we discuss what we both want and need more than we did before. I think its unrealistic for women to think that men should think your pregnant stomach is attractive. If your really upset that he doesnt like your pregnant belly, then tell him so. A good relationship is built on communication and understanding each other's feelings. Its important for him to understand your upset but its also important for you to understand that this is all new for him too and it takes some getting use to. Maybe he would agree to sex where he doesnt have to see your belly (from behind) but you wont know until you ask and communicate with him.

mindyxogirl91 |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

my husband likes my belly... but I think if i was a man, I would find it really strange to have sex, while the baby is in between you two... he can feel it kick... I think I would try to talk to him and tell him, that you are hurt. Maybe he just wants to cuddle, so he won't harm the baby. Communication is so important, because this hurts you now and after delivery, you will still have hormones to take care of... you don't need someone around you, that hurts you, even if it is by accident...

queenofcorny |

Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

With our first, I was really hurt by the comments my husband made and the fact that he didn't want to have sex with me. He would do it sometimes, to make me happy but he wasn't all about the pregnant sex. I worried about extra weight after the baby was born and what if he wouldn't find me attractive then. It was just the baby, because I can tell you after birth and before my belly had shrunk down in the slightest (I mean like a week after delivery) he could barely wIt to get the all clear from the dr. I'm starting to show now with my second and sex is always my idea,but I got an understanding during our first pregnancy and he came to understand how much he hurt my feelings. Now, he never says nothing about it, compliments me, and has sex when I initiate it, even if he's not super into it. I appreciate the effort, and it try to keep it as good as possible for him. Doggy style, reverse cowgirl, and spooning positions kind of hide the belly from him and he doesn't have to touch the belly he knows has a baby in it. To try to see it from his point of view I took a minute to watch some porn with a pregnant woman star. It grossed me out, and here I am obviously pregnant. I know it's hurtful, but he probably doesn't mean to hurt your feelings. Communication is key in this situation.

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Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

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Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

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Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

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Q&A: Husband doesn't like pregnancy belly?

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