log in | register Track your baby's growth

Your Avatar

Sign up to get FREE personalized newsletters about your baby each week.

Enter your due date or baby’s birth date:

Find baby registries & websites

Find a couple's baby registry. Enter parents' name here.

Create your own baby registry here.

you asked...

Q&A: How to get people to stop touching my belly?

I’m pregnant, and people keep coming up to me and touching my belly. How can I tell them to back off?

Re:

I’m pregnant, and people keep coming up to me and touching my belly. How can I tell them to back off?

The Bump Expert

We know, it seems like the moment your bump is visible, people -- and by people, we mean everyone from that creepy uncle to complete strangers -- feel the need to touch your belly. And maybe you just want to scream, “Hands off!” You’d think that keeping their hands to themselves would be a no-brainer, but in reality, many people think you’re so adorable, they just can’t resist. So keep in mind that their intentions are good before you get testy. They’re not doing it to deliberately invade your privacy. The belly is a magical thing, everyone is drawn to it.

So how do you get them stop rubbing you like a magic lamp without being mean? Make a personal rule in regard to your belly. This means deciding where you’ll draw the line and sticking to that decision, no matter who it is you’re dealing with. It also means having a stance prepared. That way, if someone asks you if they can touch your belly, you tell them, without having to think about it, “I would prefer that you don’t. I feel uncomfortable about people touching my bump.” And if they reach for your belly without asking first, be firm and direct, but polite. It’s always appropriate to say, “I would have preferred that you asked first.” They need to understand it’s not okay to do that.

The most important thing to remember? Don’t be rude or snarky. Some pregnant women decide to say sarcastic and nasty remarks. That’s very ungracious and can put both of you in an uncomfortable situation.

--Mindy Lockard, etiquette consultant, The Gracious Girl

Plus, more from The Bump:

The 15 Worst Things to Say to a Pregnant Woman

Embarrassed About Belly?

Top 10 Things They Should Really Warn You About Before You Get Pregnant

The Bump Editors | August 29 , 2011 2:48 PM

Q&A: How to get people to stop touching my belly?

I'm really uncomfortable with all the people touching my belly. I think it would be incredibly hard to not sound annoyed when asking them to refrain. My gut reaction is to jump back and slap them off, so I just keep my mouth shut. When I met my baby's father's mom for the first time she grabbed my belly, kissed it and talked to it as though the baby were here. I felt completely ignored and uncomfortable! I can't imagine how saying "I prefer that you don't" would have gone over!

dexterousdesigns | September 14 , 2011 6:27 PM

Q&A: How to get people to stop touching my belly?

I'm sorry, its personal space and nobody would rub a NON pregnant woman's belly. I don't care if I sound mean or not, I've swatted hands away and said "DO NOT TOUCH" if it was a total stranger. I don't care, my belly, my child, my rules :D

monicaeg83 | January 06 , 2012 4:55 PM

Q&A: How to get people to stop touching my belly?

I'm sorry if people want to touch me just because I'm pregnant that is not a good enough excuse. Being pregnant doesn't entitle people to a special kindness or tact from me if they try to touch me. I don't like to be touched and anyone who knows me knows that. However when it comes to strangers I am not above smacking hands away and being rude. I have smacked at hands and said "Excuse me I don't know you what makes you think you have the right to touch me!" I am a veteran and so I also have other "instincts" I guess you could say about when someone I don't know reaches out to touch me. People always talk about how the prego ladies need to be nice and understanding to people particularly strangers who just come up and randomly touch them but that is a screwed up way to look at it in my opinion. If you aren't trying to treat me as your personal buddha statue when I have no bump you have no right to try it when I do. In my case without the abillity to take my medications for my military "instincts" I am more likely than some pregnant women to break someones fingers. I am quite proud of the fact that I have only ever smacked hands but trust me it is with great effort on my part that I don't do more. Sorry but this part of pregnancy is a real pet peeve of mine.

sophiekins82 | March 21 , 2012 10:10 AM