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Q&A: How husband can help during pregnancy?

My husband is trying so hard -- he keeps asking what he can do to make things easier for me. What should I tell him?

Re: My husband is trying so hard -- he keeps asking what he can do to make things easier for me. What should I tell him?

The Bump Expert

Sounds like you've got a keeper! We're sure you can think of one or two or a hundred ways he can help you out, but if you're having trouble getting started, print out these tips -- sure to help most any relationship -- and pass them along.

[  ] Don't take your wife's mood swings personally -- it's not you, it's the hormones. (Sound like a feeble excuse? Forget the hormone thing, then. Just consider how you'd feel with a small person growing in your belly. Okay.)

[  ] Pick up some books on pregnancy. Your wife's body is doing some wacky things -- she'll feel much less alone if you've got some idea of what's going on. Plus, you'll score major points every time she sees you with your nose in a book about babies.

[  ] Have as much fun (as a couple, of course) as you can right now -- your social life will never be the same. (No, we didn't say worse. Just...different.)

Paula Kashtan

Q&A: How husband can help during pregnancy?

I have let my soon to be hubby do as much as he wants! From getting me a glass of water to mundane things like cleaning and cooking. Take advantage of the fact that he is trying to make things easier. I know plenty of women who do not get the same treatment!

kellyrwooten |

Q&A: How husband can help during pregnancy?

well i guess i am truly blessed to say that my hubby already does so many things to help me around the house, i guess the only extra thing i would ask for is massages :) other than that he really doesn't demand that i do anything that i may not feel like doing, he is very understanding and is ok with anything that i may ask of him....although he would leave the shopping up to me :)

digirl19 |

Q&A: How husband can help during pregnancy?

just be there when i DO need you. :)

STEFY31 |

Q&A: How husband can help during pregnancy?

My fiance doesnt realy help much but i understand that he is under alot of stress 2. I try 2 help him more then he helps me because i dont feel supported or happy unless he feels supported an happy. Am i doing the wrong thing by putting his feelings and needs b4 my own? I would like alot more help then wat i get but if hes happy im happy.

ash22293 |

Q&A: How husband can help during pregnancy?

My husband has all of the sudden become such a huge help around the house since I found out I was PG. He already did some but now he helps with all the laundry and the dishes, he tries to help cook but sometimes it doesn't come out well but he gets an A for effort. Just ask for little things first, then you can get him in good shape for when the baby comes and you can do less cause you are taking care of baby.

melandjudd |

Q&A: How husband can help during pregnancy?

I'm hoping my hubby will start doing a little more as I get bigger. He doesn't seem to fully understand how hard some things are getting for me. He's in the navy and tries to compare our levels of fatigue and doesn't get why I'd be so tired even if I sat around all day. When I get overly sensitive and emotional, he tends to get more defensive and it turns into a fight. I wish he'd take this advice. If he read up on what's going on with me and my body, I think he'd understand it a lot more. I'd love it if he'd take the initiative on more things. He's deploying 2 weeks after my due date so I'm going to be doing the really hard stuff alone for at least the first 6 months of LO's life, possibly even the first year *cry*

kellikb17 |

Q&A: How husband can help during pregnancy?

I totally know how you feel kellikb17! My husband is also in the military. He is scheduled to deploy soon after I have the baby as well. He also does not understand how difficult the simplest tasks are for me now. Or how tired I am ALL the time. I'm hoping once I get bigger he'll help out a little more! I did however enjoy reading to him something out of "What to expect when you're expecting" It says that a women puts forth more energy while pregnant laying on the couch doing nothing than a man does going weight lifing!

whitaker1012 |

Q&A: How husband can help during pregnancy?

I'm on bedrest (have been since 15 weeks) and my fiance whines whenever I ask for help with something. He makes me feel totally guilty.

havingakitten |

Q&A: How husband can help during pregnancy?

just like kellikb17 and whitaker1012 my husband is also in the military... we were married, found out i was pregnant, moved from Cali. to Oklahoma, only for 6 months for his BOLC training, and at this point we still don't know where our duty station is and i'm due 4 weeks after we leave here.... aka; i don't know where i'm having this baby... talk about scary, and he doesn't understand what i'm going through, he still asks me to do a lot of stuff since his work load is so much... he still doesn't understand why i can't lift heavy stuff, even though it's light for him, it's not for me! he thinks i'm making up the restrictions my doctor gave me!?! even though he's home after 6pm and off on the weekends i've never felt so alone, 2,000 miles from friends and family, and a husband who compares his military job to my pregnancy, which apparently justifies why he won't rub my feet, or belly, or even talk to my belly... if you have a husband who waits on you hand and foot, you are very lucky and have a pretty un-selfish husband... and those of you who don't have a partner; be thankful that you won't have someone who doesn't really want to be there around, and take advantage of whatever friends and family support you have, it means the world :)

daniannharper |

Q&A: How husband can help during pregnancy?

I let the father do the little things. He's always carrying my bags (even my purse). He always tries to put a smile on my face when I am upset or uncomfortable. I rather not have a man be overly sensitive and smothering to my condition. My hubby gives me a healthy balance of both so I don't get overwhelmed with a million of the same questions like "are you ok?" "do you want this?... that"?" Sometimes I just need space, a backrub, a long walk, or for him to spoon me. I'm very self-sufficient so he respects me but then knows when i say I need him, I mean it. Good luck and I hope you find your perfect balance :)

marcelinam |

Q&A: How husband can help during pregnancy?

The father of my baby has changed so much. He's constantly pointing the finger at me, it goes from "you're body language doesn't show you love me" to "I got myself pregnant on purpose" I honestly don't know what either of those things mean I just believe this is not what a soon to be mom should be hearing from her partner. Single mom it's going to be.

53kay53 |

Q&A: How husband can help during pregnancy?

That sucks, 53kay53! My husband's been an incredible blessing. Earlier this year, I had an ectopic pregnancy that had to be terminated,and it mean that one of my fallopian tubes had to be removed. That immediately cut my chance to get pregnant by 50%. We'd actually been talking about what we would do if I couldn't get pregnant again when we found out about my current pregnancy. I think the ectopic pregnancy certainly affected my husband's attitude towards me and this current pregnancy, but he's always been incredibly attentive. I also think the fact that he spends so much time researching all aspects of pregnancy has made him much more sympathetic. He's come to every appointment so far and asks questions. As much as he loves me, I think it's the love he has for our little one that really pushes him to be so involved. I really do hope things have worked out for you, whatever you chose.

msugal45 |

Q&A: How husband can help during pregnancy?

My hubby is the best! This first pregnancy has really brought out the "loving" side of him. Whenever i would do the dishes i put bleach in my dish water to make sure my dishes are sanatized well. Well every since i been pregnant washing dishes with storng odor makes me, dizzy, nauses, and light headed. I havent had to do a dish in 6 months! Hubby is so cautious of our unborn he refuses to let me bendover to pick up anything or lift anything heavy. He does majority of the cleaning around the house and even massgaes my feet when he notices they are swole. I LOVE BEING PREGGO!! I have a stronggggg feeling all of this goodness will stop once i deliver but i'm hoping for the best! LOL. I work 10 to twelve hours a day in the collection industry and i must admit, this is a stressful job. Hubby tells me he admires me for all the hardwork and extra hours i put in for our family and i tell him the same. Lately we have been spending "quality time" together. My husband is used to be ripping and running, and on the constat move so during my 1st trimester he used to complain ALL THE TIME about how lazy and lethargic i was that was until our first ultrasound. The first time he saw our child move and heard that heartbeat did it for him. He caved in immediatley and its been love and prosperity since. He still hasnt learned to understand my mood swings yet but where working on it. The main thing i try to do at this point is to provide him with as much attention as i possibly can since i know how much he does for me. This baby in our life has been a true blessing!

rashelmimms20 |

Q&A: How husband can help during pregnancy?

My dear man cares and tries, but he's so sensitive. Every time I have a mood swing and snap at him he gets so hurt. I'm 19 weeks in and he tries to help when I'm aching and sore. But as for everything else, I clean up all his messes, we've not bought one thing for the baby. He's bad at saving money, ect. We just started living together and it's been so hard.

kikiza |