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Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I am currently six months pregnant and have an out-of-whack sex drive. I get self-conscious and don't want my husband to touch me because I'm embarrassed about all of the weight I've gained. What can I do to get our sex life back where it was before I gained the weight?

Re: I am currently six months pregnant and have an out-of-whack sex drive. I get self-conscious and don't want my husband to touch me because I'm embarrassed about all of the weight I've gained. What can I do to get our sex life back where it was before I gained the weight?

The Bump Expert

I'm so glad you emailed me. You are a perfect case of the "I think I'm fat, so he'll think I'm fat too" complex. We women are particularly guilty of this. We get so wrapped up in our own little insecurities -- no matter what form they take -- that we assume our partners think the same thing. Let me assure you: He thinks completely differently than you do!

Once we can get our heads around this fact, most of us tend to relax. The thing is, the majority of men see an overall picture of the woman they love. They don't notice a little excess weight here,a little bulge there. Instead they see the whole package without the detail. Research proves it too. You can do a simple test at home to prove it to yourself. Ask your husband to find, for example, the mustard in the fridge, and you'll see he takes far longer than you would. This is because men see the whole fridge and not the detail of the little items in it.
So hold that thought in mind and believe that he wants to touch and hold you. Talk yourself up each and every day. Tell yourself what a fabulous mother-to-be you are and how you should be more gentle on yourself.

At the same time, do take care of your body while you're pregnant. Short walks or taking the stairs instead of the elevator will make you feel healthier all over (as long as your doctor okays it). It's important to be fit and well,but not obsessed about your weight.

Dr. Pam Spurr

re: Q: Embarrassed About Belly?

I prefer to have sex in the dark and DH tries very hard not to press against the baby bump -- that way I can pretend I'm still skinny! :)

SweetieBabe |

re: Q: Embarrassed About Belly?

I am wondering if all of the women that I meet each week that tell me "you certainly are big for 25 weeks" "Are you SURE you're not having twins?", etc... I'm wondering if these women know how horribly rude they're being and how hurtful it is to hear. So far, not a week of my pregnancy since 8 weeks has gone by without one hurtful comment. My Dr says I'm doing fine. Can anyone think of a way to put these people in their place? I'm sick of being insulted.

lnelder |

re: Q: Embarrassed about belly?

Please don't worry to much about other people's comments. I got that the whole time (and I was a "normal size") Maybe try a simple comment like "I think I would know," or "yes there is just one but thanks for your concern. " Sometimes you can kill them with kindness. And from your picture your belly looks great! I am trying to concieve, so rightnow I am instantly jealoue of all pregnant bellys. I always thought pregnancy is a beautiful thing. At no other time in your life are you ever so consumed with the smallest of all changes going on with (and inside) your body. Just do your best to relax & enjoy it.

jpowell3 |

re: Q: Embarrassed about belly?

im am the opposite i get lots of comments on how small i am for how far along i am...which only makes me freak out...i worry the baby isnt growing right or something. i know people dont think their comments mean much but i wish people would think before they speak. especially ones who have never had kids or its been a long time.

ccrow |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

i think some people expect every pregnancy to be the same but that's just ignorance because every pregnancy is different & every woman can gain a lot of a little bit im 10 wks already & im showing already & im very happy & my fiance loves my belly sometimes i say that im getting fat & he just tells me its all on my mind & that he loves me & kisses my tummy!

berebre18 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I feel the same as you do when it comes to the belly, the high sex drive, and the self-consciousness. I used to be a "big" girl and later lost the weight, then only after a year of being a reasonable size my husband and I got pregnant, so you can imagine what a self confidence killer it is now that I am seven months and have gained 23 lbs. To make matters worse, my husband is currently on a hardship duty tour in Korea and I haven't seen him in quite a while. He comes home in a month (certainly expecting to be intimate) and I keep trying to tell him that if things don't change with me mentally on this subject, irregardless of what I look like (because face it...1/2 of it is in our heads), there won't be a whole lot of intimacy. He, on the other, hand keeps trying to inform me that I am pregnant, that these things are to be expected, and that I am just as beautiful to him as when he left me if not more. I think it helps talking about it with him and having him reassure me, even if I only feel better for the moment. So I say, let him know how you feel, you might be surprised. It's my experience, that a man loves to feel needed and if you tell him you need him to remind you of how beautiful you are sooner or later the compliments will get drilled into your head. Also, seeing as the sex drive is already there, it's just the mental barrier, so you two need to push through that together. Ultimately, it sounds cheesy, but talking to him is the best advice I can give.

James&Dena |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I don't understand women who want to contradict their men in this area. If he is initiating sex, he thinks YOU"RE sexy! Take the compliment and let him make you feel beautiful. Don't contradict him by saying "No honey, I feel fat." He wasn't even thinking about that. He's just thinking about getting it on. Don't throw a pity party and point out all the things that you don't like about yourself during this time. Besides, if your man is like mine (and I am of the opinion that most men have similar thought patterns about sex) he's not looking at your belly, he's looking at your DD boobs. :D ~I grow people. what's your superpower?

angelofmusic219 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

OK at least Im not the only one with this issue! I am so out of it when it comes to sex!

adamsmommy2010 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

i have the same problem with people saying im having twins and it doesnt help when the babies daddy's mom is always like.... your ass is getting huge. i use to weigh 120 and now weigh 144 at 24 weeks. its hurtful........my sex drive is out of wack as well but i have a boyfriend whose addicted to porn and sex and i feel that im so not good enough!

amd2007 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

My future mother-in-law has not found out that we are expecting yet...When she does I fully expect to be subjected to some form of the same treatment that you are receiving. And to this I say that she can kiss my ass! I will blame it on the hormones but there is no excuse for anyone telling you that your butt has gotten bigger or you look like you are carrying twins! You are pregnant; get away with all the comments that you can blame on hormones, while you have the chance!

kellyrwooten |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

It's funny how people think they can say whatever they want to you when you are pregnant! I answer that way every time I get a rude comment like :"Your ass spread so you are definitely having a girl!" Everyone is a expert! Believe me its universal so don't feel bad and enjoy your pregnancy!

ZARLEE |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I totally agree with you Zarlee! It's very strange how much people stick their foots in their mouths :) I tried to have a good attitude about it... and failed often! haha And strangers TOUCHING my belly. That was a weird one.

TheRiverJordan |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I had a coworker that constantly attacked my belly, rubbing it, commenting about it, and I finally had to say "I'm sorry. I do not feel comfortable with you talking about me and my baby like this. I know you might not mean to be hurtful but it's a tough time for me." She felt guilty and has been more than respectful since. I am 28 weeks and feel like an zoo attractionl... my coworker stopped her comments but everyone has an opinion. Hang in there ya'll!

kamarshburn |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

Okay so i 'am 35 weeks and i get so many people saying " WOW you look big" Or " Dang your HUGE!" yeah like i dont know im big. Plus my fiance always wanted to have sex and by the end of the day i dont feel sexy at all. its so hard to get it on when you have a big belly in the middle of you to.

hutch2011 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I was the very same way with my fist baby. I began to understand that I may have gained weight but I was carrying a miracle. You need to be proud of your body during pregnancy not ashamed of it. I know that it is hard but you just have to think about it differently.

katychip06 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

You need to eat at your heart's content! Don't worry about gaining a few extra pounds. I think all that negative thinking and energy will transfer over to the baby, and you don't want that. Just be HAPPY and enjoy these 9months since you have a real excuse to induldge. As for the sex with your partner, there are times that I have to psyche myself out of feeling "unsexy" because in reality, men will ALWAYS want to have sex. So put on a cute doll style nighty (that will sit around your curves nicely) light some candles and make each night memorable. Remember this is the only life we have...gotta make the best of it! :)

memoryofafish |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

im only 22 weeks and i look like im 7 months. i feel fat. and it doesnt help being 19 and most of your friends are skinny and u feel like a cow next to them. and it doesnt help when they hint that im getting really big. they keep saying stuff like im going to have a 10lb baby. it hurts when ppl say things like that. do they not know that bc of our hormones our feeling are really easy to hurt?

wiccababy |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I know how you feel! Im also 19 & im almost 28 weeks pregnant...I feel HUGE! I just noticed the beginning of my first stretch mark yesterday & am not happy about it at all! I shouldnt be freaking out over it, i know, but i cant help it! On top of everything else..at my last doc. appt she said I gained a little more than usual so watch what i eat...me & my boyfriend were both big babies...starting to think our son is going to be too...

ChantelEden |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

i have that problem too. my dr kinda yelled at me bc im gaining to much to fast. she told me not to gain anymore.

wiccababy |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I have had those types of thoughts myself! I resently desided to liusten to The father of my Baby and according to him he says that he Loves me and all that. Yet Guess what though Because I cant last even close to how long he can I feel like Im just not as Great as I was when I was without this enormous belly. I love being pregnant yet Im scared to have him even look at me now. I have my reservations & wish I didnt. Im possitive that your husband sees you as the most Beautiful sight he has ever layed eyes on in his LIFE, maybe its just simply do to you being the women he married and that Im preety sure that it has not changed in the least!! Be-safe

Dadsabandond |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

Dont be embarrased about the baby weight that you have taken on in this pregnancy. It happens to all of us and some gain more weight than others however its just temporary. Im sure your husband is well aware of the weight that needs to be gained in order to provide for your growing baby. Dont be shy or embarrased just take things slow and maybe some dim lighting might set the mood and also provide an atmosphere so that you can shadow your growing belly. Im sure he understands about the weight and thinks you are beautiful with the pregnancy glow. I think the men that father our children think we are as beautiful as ever pregnant or not. So let the beautiful belly shine and you might even see that your sex drive is stronger than ever. Good Luck...

JosephsSexyMommy |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

DH has started randomly telling me I'm beautiful - I asked him why and he said "because you think you're fat and can't see how pretty you are, so obviously I'm not saying it enough" It was so sweet, but at the same time a little sad - I'm 33 weeks! I SHOULD be big and I shouldn't be worried about my weight (other than to make sure I'm eating and gaining enough and being healthy) but something about how our society percieves women makes it so HARD not to look at all the skinny, perfectly made up, size 2s and compare yourself! (and yeah, I hear you on the comments - no one agrees with me - most people make the "are you SURE you're 8 months? You look so small" comments, but at least once a week I get the "OMG you're HUGE" comment... WTF?) Sex the last few months has been difficult - simply because all I can see when I take off my clothes is the BELLY! Gah! Stop the insanity!

ekiiba9086 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I think everyone needs to be reminded here that most men actually find it incredibly HOT when a woman is carrying their child. They are turned on by the little bit of extra weight and the huge belly, it's a reminder to them that you are sexually attractive, and proof of that as well. Celebrate and live in the moment on this one - because your guy sure as heck wants to.

consciousbuyer |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I feel the same way too and thank heavens my man doesnt care.. He told me Im still as hot as ever! lol but i still get concious about my belly though.

watchamacallitz |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

try different angles of sex if your on to with your belly pressed to his chest or hate to say it even dog

lalakilla48 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

My Hubby is incredibly turned on by my belly. I was so excited when I really started showing. Although not to say I did go through some self conscience moments. I am alot bigger then I ever was with my first child, when I mentioned that to my Hubby he said "ya and you will probably get 3 times bigger!" That made me feel bad until I realized he loved that fact! Talk to your Hubby about it. You may be surprised.

sarahgberry |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I'm definitely not ok with my body right now. It's not as much about my belly as it is about the stretch marks... ughhhhhh. i have stretch marks all around my waist, except my back, all the way up to my belly button. not ok.

xche |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

in my case, its the same with the THEY THINK ITS FUNNY comments like U LOOK LIKE UR GNA HAVE TWINS and WOW THAT BABY IS GNA BE HUGE AND U WONT BE ABLE TO BIRTH IT ughh they think its sooo effin FUNNY but really they HURT and it doesnt help that my hubby does things that makes me feel REALLY UNWANTED and soo FUGLY.. in the beginning of pregnancy i was NEVER ashamed 2 ask or get things started but since ive blown up i get REALLY EMBARRASSED 2 ask cuz i get the FALLING ASLEEP or I HAVE NO ENERGY thing and it really makes me feel so UNATTRACTIVE to him and it SUX (-_-,) so when i try 2 express my feelings HE FALLS ASLEEP so i get so irritated then we argue which i NEVER mean 2 get 2 but it does cuz he just flips right over and start accusing me of arguing over sex and its stupid but IT WASNT EVEN THE POINT I WAS TRYNA EXPRESS so im really down on myself right now and I HATE IT cuz i LOVE this baby girl growing inside of me and i DONT want anything 2 happen 2 her bcuz of me and my emotions.. what can i do??

NS09 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

i was embarrassed around my husband with first baby i had the bulgy fat for like 4 months I didn't actaully get the bump til 6 months. I change in bathroom and shower alone. Now that I'm almost 12 weeks and have a small bump i'm over them embarassment my husband loves it and he acknowledges my tummy by rubbing it so I feel better this time. If sex isn't present and he's not interested in the growing baby you're more likely to feel awkward infront of him.

brittanygerth89 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

Oh hunny. Embrace ur curves. Ur not fat, ur carrying a beautiful life inside you. I'm 6 months too n I love it. Try dressing up in a sexy babydoll outfit (camisole), put on a Lil make-up and some perfume. Look in the mirror and say over n over "I'm a hot sexy mama" then stand in front of ur husband with a smile. I felt the same, but my friend (a mother of 3) gave me that tip. Did it 4 times and slowly I felt better. Hope u feel happy n sexy as I do real soon x

Elijahsmum11 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

Maybe I'm an odd case, but for me, it's not about what my husband thinks, it's all about my own perception of myself. He tells me that he still finds me sexy and doesn't think I look fat, and I believe him 100%. However, when I look down at myself, I don't find me attractive, and so it's hard to get in the mood, even though I know he does. It definitely helps me to have the lights off, stay under the covers, or even to keep a shirt or nighty on during sex so my big ole' belly isn't catching my eye the whole time, haha. I liked how SweetieBabe says she likes to pretend she's still skinny - you know I do that too! :-)

mcginnie86 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

My best friend posted online everywhere that she is finally skinnier and than me and then puts two pictures of us right next to each other. Me with my huge belly and her with nothing. Then of course other friends comment thinking they are SO FUNNY with "Wow! She really did get fat!" etc. So I just laughed and said, it's really sad that I have to be half way through a pregnancy for you to be skinnier than me. That shut everyone up real fast.

fromthewomb |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

i get so stressed out about how i look and gaining weight. i used to be a bigger girl in the beginning of high school and i worked hard to watch my weight and what i eat and lose what i hated to see on myself. i hated the way i looked until the last year of high school i finally got down to 128lbs. and i loved how i looked i was so happy with the clothes sizes i could finally wear i had muscle and for the first time i liked showing some skin and wearing my bathing suit. then my husband and i found out im pregnant. im 12 weeks right now and i just feel so huge. my stomach has that bulgy fat not a bump yet and i just feel like im gaining too much weight already. it makes me so paranoid to think of how im gonna lose it all after the baby and hope i get back to my before size quick. i just got to the body and person i loved and now its slipping away. dont get me wrong i cant wait to be a mommy and i love the facts about the baby its just the weight and how i see myself thats freaking me out. i look at myself and see fat legs and huge boobs and just everything that makes me want to just sit down and cry and cry....i dont know what to do to pull me through this anxiety for another 6 months. it seems like i forget im pregnant sometimes and i just think im so fat that all i want to do is get skinny again and feel good. i am so happy im having this baby...however im so unhappy i have this anxiety...what do i do????

KelseyK18 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

im just 7 weeks so I havnt got a bump yet however I just know I going to have this same problem when I do get it. But with my sisters pregnancy which was an accident and she wasnt with the guy after it happened, she got asked out more throughout her pregnancy then she ever did before. So idk thats got to mean something.

mylindacasey |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I am embarrassed about my belly. Mainly becuase my husband does not look at me in the same way as he used to. There have been a couple of times where I have taken off my shirt and he has made the wide eyed face and said "wow, your belly got so much bigger in the last week!" Which doesn't make me feel sexy at all. He has not been initiating sex as much and always wants to do it in the "spoon" position so he is not touching my belly. We have talked about it and he says that I just don't need to worry about it. He is just "looking at me in a different way now". He has admitted that he doesn't just lust after me like he used to and is in awe that I am carrying his child. I guess that all sounds good...but I want to still feel even slightly sexy!! It is freaking me out that I won't go back to what I used to look like and I will have lost those "lusting looks" forever. I just want my normal sex life back :(

ashleycheatham |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

Remember this phrase ladies because I know that I have to say it 12 or 13 times a day.. I am not FAT I am GROWING A BABY.. it has really helped me. I am 29 weeks and have gained 26 pounds. I too have been getting the are you sure it isn't twins question, as well as at my bridal shower (when I was only 16 weeks mind you) a family member looked at my belly and said I was really big for as far along as I was. It hurts but I don't think that people realize how hurtful their words can be unless we as women tell them. One mom that I talk to a lot has truly inspired me to stand up to the hurtful people in my life and it has helped me tremendously. While she was pregnant with her oldest (now 12) her husband made her angry and she hasn't done his laundry since... Empower yourselves and remember YOU are not FAT you are GROWING A BABY :)

sopranogirl89 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

The thing that helps me is knowing that even though I'm gaining weight, I'm growing a baby! It's not just putting on pounds because of my eating or lack of exercise, it's for a wonderful reason. My husband thinks my belly is sexy because it has our son. Even though I'm self-conscious (I'm 22 weeks and have stretch marks all over my chest and definitely showing!) it's always nice to take some time each day (for me it's when I put lotion on) to look in the mirror and think about my baby. Now, I start to look forward to getting bigger because it means I'm that much closer to meeting my son! Although what people say can hurt, I've learned to take it as a compliment when people say I'm getting big. Don't let their words hurt you, you're growing a baby and that always helps pick me up! As for being intimate, buy some cute baby doll style lingerie and take care of your appearance! Straighten or curl your hair, put on a little make up, put some lotion on and spritz perfume. By taking care yourself, you'll feel better and help you feel sexy even if your husband isn't in the mood, have a romantic evening of a nice bath, candles, an elegant dinner and cuddling up for a movie.

NewBabyBoy11 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I feel the same way too sometimes. I think this is all part of our bodies changing so much. My husband is very fit, and though he tells me often how much he loves my new shape, it is still sometimes hard to believe him. It is also weird to switch off these new "mommy" emotions, and switch back on the "sexy" ones, when I have one giant reminder between us (the tummy) that I am no longer just his wife. Eekk! Don't even get me started on what happens if the baby moves AT ALL during....I freak. http://bohodown.blogspot.com/

FaySellars |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I'm 32 weeks pregnant and certianly I'm fed up with the I'm sooo big and basketball belly comments. My boyfriend acknowledges my growing belly all the time and tells me I'm all belly but he rubs and kisses my belly. Obviuosly thinks I'm still sexy pregnant because I still get the compliments from him and he basically strips me naked for sex so regardless to what people say I think I look great for 8 months pregnant.

Missmegin |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

i had my first child when i was 19 and now im about to be 22 in about 2 weeks and im preg agian... i found out the day before i was to go to the military i was going to be in the army passed every thing with flying colors and felt proud of my self.. now im 14 weeks preg i wasn't excited at all when i found out, i was mad and cried for a few days. i went to the doc and found out not only i was preg im having twins. im terrified but each day seems easyer and now i can feel them move in my tummy i feel guilty for being mad and upset there miracles. i wasn't suppose to have twins due to the fact i was a twin/ now im starting to be excited but the weight is coming along slowly so im showing but its babies, there are days where i dont feel hot but i know im not fat im only 5'2 and 130 lbs but the fact i have already gained 10 makes me feel like im going to be huge but as long as my man thinks i look good and wants to 'lay me down' i will feel like a queen.

lgla13 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I have that problem too, where I'm still willing to have sex but I refuse to be on top under any circumstance because of my 36 week belly! My husband trys to reasure me he thinks I'm beautiful but its hard especially since I really had to work hard to keep my weight in check most of my life. (The whole attacked by a tiger look isn't the best one I would choose for my belly:)

buggy2b |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

Oh my gosh, I am currently 27 weeks and I have had the worst time with feeling fat. My husband doesn't seem to be interested in sex at all, and he doesn't realize how that affects me. I get turned on so quickly, but I can get to the point where I want to cry when he even looks at me. My mother has gotten on my case about saying that I feel fat, but I'm only 22 and everybody I know is tiny! But I guess you just have to realize that you're body is carrying another, and extra weight is necessary at this point, but to me, I feel like I've gained way to much already! But I don't eat nearly as much as I did before I was pregnant :/....not sure what to do! Sex just doesn't seem fun right now, but my husband isn't the kind of guy to really think in depth as to what I may be feeling :(..or just doesn't know how to respond...any suggestions on how to help this feeling????

LoveBug7310 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I'm 26 weeks and have gained about 18 pounds, ALL in my belly. I get the "are you sure it's just one in there", and "I don't know how you're going to get any bigger" comments, but I take them in stride. I'm pregnant, and that's that. All other aspects of my body are the same, in fact I think my big belly makes my butt look small! My real issues are the stretch marks that started appearing ALL OVER my belly around week 15, and the changes in my boobs. My husband always comments about how big they've gotten, but all I notice is how much they sag now. Not to mention the other odd changes in them like the increase in color and nipple size, YUCK! I look in the mirror and it's like some odd creature is staring back. I worry that I'll never feel comfortable naked again. And sex, forget it. Neither of us likes doggy-style, I can't lie on my back, and I feel too big to be on top. Plus let's just say that the extra sensitivity is not good for everyone. I haven't had the big O in 6 months. Could be another reason I feel so grumpy all the time... I have to just keep reminding myself that in just 3 more months we'll have a beautiful baby girl and it'll all be worth it!

nonnahs38 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I am 7 months now i feel huge. I am like most of the women on here sex is great but at this point it is so hard to be comfortable while having it. It really annoys me when people are like wow your pregnant it's like seriously ya think? Then others are like yours small for being that far along it worries me. And people really need to stop telling me things or touching my stomach unless i ask. oh and in-laws are idiots plain in simple!

brittwort09 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

Don't forget that you are carrying your husband's child and that is a beautiful thing! Even if you have gained weight (which is good and healthy for baby!) you are giving him the greatest gift in the world and that makes you more beautiful and sexy than ever to him!

SCogs18 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I may be the opposite on this but I don't get upset when people say things like that to me I just laugh because one day they will get it all back. My husband on the other hand gets very offended. A woman at his work who is about a month behind me in pregnancy and is totally a crude woman said how big I was (which is not really true) and he in trying to defend me says oh really well how much do you weigh (which I remind him to never ask a womans weight but she is very dense so didn't care) and of course she weighed more than me and he says well you see she is no bigger than you haha. My husband is more attracted to me now than when we had dated for a year. You have to look at it in the way that you are the mother of his child and he loves that if anything most likely they are scared to hurt you or the baby. I read an article where they did a study that men love pregnant woman (when its their wives), they love the curves that you have. Men don't like sticks, why do you think you always hear oh hes an ass man or a boob man they like the voluptuous parts of our bodies! So be happy and embrace the new curves!!!

amandalup |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I am only 10 weeks prego an i already have a bump an every time i say " gaw im getting so fat" or " im huge" or anything like that my husband gets mad an tells me your not fat ur Pregnant!!! an he is sooo attracted to my prego belly!! i just cant keep him off me, if only i had the sex drive like i used to

danielle0123 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I've put on 20lbs and am 25 weeks along. I'm embarrassed of my weight gain, I'm not use to being a big girl. But my DH loves my new curves now and tells me he wants me to keep the weight on after the baby! He's constantly grabbing me, it's nice to feel wanted. I just have not been in the mood, I can get in the mood but only when it's a very romantic night. Maybe I'm high maintenance but there needs to be a massage in there with candles and music. There's no quickies anymore for me.

NiciCola |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I am 18 weeks and have the same feelings as everyone. And it doesn't help that my grandmother makes comments like "wow you didn't gain this much weight with your 1st 2" though I think its funny b/c grandma never saw me pregnant with my 1st 2. Plus on top of that my husband has been away on bussiness for the past month and this weekend is the first time I get to see him. My belly has popped out so much since he left and he has this romantic evening planned for us. But I found a way to feel sexy even when my belly is huge. Everyone is right when they say that their husbands first notice their new DD's rather than their belly.....so I went out and bought some sexy lingerie that has the chest cut out and covers the rest. I sent a pic too my husband and he went nuts. He was ready to take the red eye out that night to come see me. Its all about embracing your new body. You are creating a brand new life, one of life's most amazing accomplishments. So love the new body you have and know that your man loves you and thinks your sexy no matter what.....and for all those rude people out there just tell them what I told my grandmother......"At least I have a reason my butt is getting so big!!!"

BridaBS |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

The out of whack sex drive will drive anyone nuts but believe me, if your husband is anything like mine he won't care about anything but your being naked with him. I am on my 4th pregnancy & my hubby reminded me he has no idea what to do when it comes to sex right now b/c all of my pregnancies were so different. Also, I agree with so many others, they think we couldn't be more beautiful than when we think we are hideous. I can't stand looking in a mirror, & when I tell him the comments I get he reminds me how crude the world is & what I looked like when I started. Hang in there you are beautiful!

Kerilee33 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

All through the first two trimesters of my pregnancy, my husband kept telling me, "You need to eat more." Well it's kinda hard when I'm already eating like a horse. Now I'm in the third trimester and the doctor says you've gained thirty pounds. Told my husband, didn't phase him at all. Still wanted a go at bedtime that night. And yes the boobs are what do it. He thinks everyone, no matter their weight or body shape, should have Dolly Parton size breasts all the time. And on the rude comments issue: even if you lash out against what they say, you will just make yourself feel bad, and that's no fun.

wannabekagom |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I used to be a little 140 pound girl (at 6 feet tall thats pretty slim) and always toned. Now at 17 weeks and an additional 30 pounds in my boobs and belly, its hard to feel sexy around my husband. Its hard because he doesn't lean in for a romantic kiss or squeeze my butt whenever I walk by or even hug me. My confidence level is so low because of the extra pounds and no physical contact from him that I just dont know if I can make the first move. I know that pregnancy is a beautiful thing and all that, but at the same time I just want to be noticed and feel the love again. I told him the other day that I was 170lbs and he laughed right in my face ... I guess I'm just feeling a little lonely these past few weeks... I hope that he can start getting excited about me again, not just for the baby's arrival.

dtonkin |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

WOW!!! I am one of those that used to tease a co-worker that she was huge and must be having twins. I kept it on until she went on maternity leave. I always made it clear with my tone and giving her a smile and chuckle to know that i was only joking and, in my defence always made it clear that twins are considered an extra blessing in my culture. She was always laughing and seemed to take it well. But now i read a lot of the comments above and had no clue! I'm now paranoid that maybe she was just putting a brave face on it. I will be apologising to her when her see her tomorrow (she's back and no, she didn't have twins). Anyway, i am an expectant father now and i must say that a belly is absolutely nothing to be embarrased about! Comes with the territory. Simple. My wife will get bigger and i am looking forward to it. I think she is more beautiful now than ever! So, as a man, i would like to throw my weight behind a couple of comments made above: 1. If he wants to get it on, then yes, he finds you SEXY and ATTRACTIVE. 2. If you are not up for it, say so. Its his job to be understanding and not take it as a rejection! He should kiss your forehead and think about the wonderful blessing on the way. 3. But You must remember that he has needs too so dont make it all about you. You remember the times before you were pregnant when you had sex but were not really in the mood or up for it? But you did it anyway to a) get him to leave you alone or b) because you wanted to satisfy his urges? One thing is for sure, there is no right or wrong and its up to the couple to communicate and share feelings both ways. Whether it is by speech, touch or scribe. Otherwise, it just aint gonna work. Afterall, isnt that what relationships are all about? DH (Using her account hehehehehe)

funalibi2011 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

i feel the same way.. i've always been small and though everyone tells me i'm so small like red flags go off to me tht maybe i'm not putting on enough weight for my baby but she's big and the dr's seem happy about everything.. though i think becasue i've always been small having a belly makes me feel unattractive. my boyfriend tells me all the time i'm still beautiful and sometimes i bealive him sometimes i dont.. just gotta stop thinking what i see in the mirror he sees.. :)

Alize903 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I'm 18 weeks, and everyone constantly tells me "are you sure?", "are you sure it's just one"? and it's driving me NUTS!!!! No one believes me that I'm just 18 weeks, even my own mother, after hearing it from the doctor himself! I have a big zon (he was 11oz at my 17wk 6day u/s), and I was fairly small to begin with. Its hurtful and it makes me self-conscious. Add to that the fact that my fiancee wants nothing to do with me. He avoids looking at me, and now he's avoiding anything to do with me. It's embarrassing when people think I'm just "fat", and when they ask weird questions. Yes, I'm big, but that means I'll have a healthier baby than I would if he was tiny! I mean, I'm a vegetarian, I exercise...he's just big. It gets like that in my family. All of the boys are. As for my fiancee, you're not so skinny yourself, buddy!

kmarie |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

Ok, so this may sound a harsh, but to the women who think they are "fat" while they are pregnant, you probably need to start getting over it!! I say, if you didn't want to gain weight, you probably shouldn't have gotten pregnant. It's part of the territory and you will get your body back in a few months. I'm really sorry to the women who's husbands won't have sex with them. My husband was apprehensive at first as well. But when we sat down and talked about it, he explained to me that he was worried that he would hurt me or the baby. I explained to him that there was no way that could happen and that I would tell him if I felt uncomfortable or something was hurting me. It's been a much better experience since then. We women sacrifice a lot for the little gorgeous beings inside of us that depend on us. If the men in our lives can't understand that, there is an issue. Pregnant women are beautiful regardless of what size they are. So go on, gain a healthy weight so you know that when you deliver your little precious being, they will be healthy as well. There's a lot of issues with babies that are born at a low birth weight or small for gestational age. Lots of them will end up in the NICU which can be nerve wracking for new parents. Definitely not something that I want to deal with unless ABSOLUTELY necessary. Good luck Mommies!

krittybrown |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

Im 16 weeks with my first pregnancy and Im always saying to fiance im fat. He tends to counter with its the baby. Always makes me feel better.

mackenziemcclendon |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

It's bad enough that people are already touching my stomach, I have always been ultra sensitive in the weight department so this to me is a huge no-no!! Having the lights out and a top and bra on is a-ok with me, but the hubby has other ideas...at least he's constantly rubbing, kissing and talking to my ever expanding belly. But is it bad that at every ultrasound our doctor comments on how big the baby is for being 16 weeks? My husband and I still don't know how to take that news.

bestellington |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

i know we alllll have our weight issues. we always think too fat, too flabby, blah, eww, ive gained weight... and so on. when i got pregnant i was a worried about the belly and how my bf would react to us barely being able to hold each other in bed..lol..but i loved it!!! and since i was 13 ive always felt like im really fat. honestly im a lil chubby seeing as i wear size 9 jeans. i was pregnant through summer and i rocked a bikini, a bikini!!!! without my usual of wearing a shirt over. and ill be damned i didnt even care about the stretch marks i had! i was 18 when i got pregnant and i seen girls i went to school with staring at me all i could think of is 'yeah i feel awesome. i feel absolutly beautiful.' yeah everytime i shower i see those stretch marks but i returned to my normal weight. and as for my bf through the pregnancy he couldnt get enough of my belly! and i loved it! he was ALWAYS touching my bump, talking to our baby, hed put his head on my belly, before i even showed when i told people i was pregnant he'd put his hand on my belly. our sex life was insane! i love sex but when i was pregnant, i couldnt get enough even with the bump it the way sometimes.

samanthak8 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

as for the husbands unwilling to give it up JUST cus your pregnant.....F*** them! they helped make you this way...accidently or not... if it was me id go buy a vibrator and enjoy it, making sure he could hear me! then after the birth and healing id hold onto just my vibrator for awhile. after i felt he has had adequet punishment wed have a long long talk

samanthak8 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I think that people who have not been pregnant either at all or in a long time do not understand how sensitive we pregnant women become because of our "hormonalness." It may be good to remind those who are closest to you of that fact early on. A prepared and rehearsed answer to belly situations and rude comments is handy, but'cha gotta be ready to accept that your hormones may keep you from delivering it the way you planned! :)

keriannethebride |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I was big to start with, so when my tummy started to stick out the rest that I had been holding in for ever stuck out with it...that is the part that makes me self concious, I am ready for the bigger bump so I look officially pregnant! In regards to other people's comments, they don't know any better...I am sure I have said things that I thought were reasonable before but now that I am pregnant I realize they might not have been the best choice. Just ignore them and try to not let their comments get to you, most of them arn't being mean, they just say what pops out first.

MarkandMags |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I'm 29 weeks pregnant and my hormones have been so crazy. My boyfriend and I haven't had sex in quite a while, and its probably because I don't want it. Don't get me wrong I am still very attracted to him as I was before I was pregnant but I don't feel up for it or I feel as if I'm not attractive enough for him. It's the fact that I used to be what you called "chunky" and them I lost over 30lbs and tried maintaing it until I got pregnant and I gained a total of 27lbs so far and am feeling all my insecurities. I don't feel pretty at all anymore and i just can't wait till I'm back to my normal routine at the gym. I obviously know that being pregnant it's a necessity to gain weight to have a healthy growing baby, but I don't know what I can do to feel less insecure and gain the weight at the same time. To top it off, it doesn't help either that another reason my boyfriend and i haven't been intimate for a while is because not only do I not want it but he hasn't even tried to be intimate with me for me to even tell him how I'm feeling, so this is also making me feel like he just doesn't want me either and of course my self esteem lowers. So pretty please someone help me with some feedback!

Meghud13 |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

I feel the same as all the other women who have expressed the "I'm so fat, how can I be attractive right now." I've also gained more than I should, and been told off by my doctor. My DH tells me I'm beautiful every day, and when I try to express how disgustingly huge I feel he tells me I'm being silly, that I look like a beautifully healthy pregnant woman, etc etc. I hear this, and I hear all the lovely supportive things other women have said here, but what really messes with me is this: Why hasn't my husband touched me in almost 4 months now? Ok, my sex drive has pretty much shriveled up into a self-conscious ball and died at this point, but I definitely haven't exactly been playing hard to get! I've talked about it a few times, and made it fairly clear that I am still willing and able, and every time he responds by enthusiastically telling me how he still finds me attractive and really wants to be intimate with me again. He'll kiss me and hold hands, but never strays towards the slightest hint of passion, or shows any sign of desiring intimacy. I'm worried to push the issue too far because I feel like I will just push him into admitting that he does in fact find me hideous and physically repulsive. I don't think I could take that!

ElKatBee |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

Um, you're pregnant, not fat!! Just sayin'...

mstfd |

Q&A: Embarrassed about belly?

Im not the only one...PHEW! I am 5'4 and pre pregnancy was 120, Im rounding 140 at 24 weeks and I feel huge! I am very active and have a normal gym routine. I am finding out quickly that I cannot do the things I used to do, its very frustrating!!! The comments are the worst...I stopped going to my gym because this one women would not stop telling me how big I was!!! Even my own mother said to call the doctor because I am not suppose to be THIS HUGE. The doctor however says everything is perfect and she wishes all her patients were like me... My husband thinks I look great and I believe him, but feel very insecure. Lights are always off and cover are a must! He knows its not forever and we are both dealing with it the best we can. I really like the idea of pretending to be skinny...I may have to try that. Kinda like role playing LOL To keep my mind off my own insecurities, I have been buying baby clothes and DIY stuff for the nursery etc. I have also been doing some research on pets and new babies, but thats a whole different problem...Thanks for making me feel like Im not the only one:)

akj166 |