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Q&A: Husband scared of sex during pregnancy?

I am almost 5 months pregnant and my husband and I have had sex only one time, since discovering the good news. I don't know if he is turned off, although he says he doesn't want to hurt the baby. I initiate a conversation and he doesn't want to talk about it. I even told him I would do certain things for him, just so we could be intimate and he doesn't want to. Most friends I've talked to said they were still having sex up until a few weeks before the baby arrived. Is there something wrong with my picture?

Re: I am almost 5 months pregnant and my husband and I have had sex only one time, since discovering the good news. I don't know if he is turned off, although he says he doesn't want to hurt the baby. I initiate a conversation and he doesn't want to talk about it. I even told him I would do certain things for him, just so we could be intimate and he doesn't want to. Most friends I've talked to said they were still having sex up until a few weeks before the baby arrived. Is there something wrong with my picture?

The Bump Expert

First of all, forget what "most of your friends say they were doing" during their pregnancies. Every man and woman experiences pregnancy and sex differently. You need to get the bottom of his feelings and attitudes. Tell him you understand his concerns about potentially harming the baby and you'd like him to get reassurance from your healthcare provider. Either bring him along for your next appointment or call them and they can discuss this with him down the phone. Or, buy a pregnancy book that provides information about this. Undoubtedly it will reassure parents that their baby won't be harmed by having sex as long as you're fit and well.

Next explore with him if he has a belief that somehow the mother of his child should not be a sex goddess too. Many men find it hard to combine seeing their wife as a mother and a lover. If he'll open up about such attitudes it'll be easier to get him to see you as a whole woman. Certainly if you're "in the mood" don't talk about baby-stuff with him because that will put him off. Also that way he can practically ignore that you're pregnant while you're trying to get him in the mood for love. Men can get pretty good at that denial thing! Once you've come this far dress attractively, light some candles and put some new mood music on. Hopefully he'll be able to let go and see you as a lover again.

--Dr. Pam Spurr

watch: find out more about your sex drive during pregnancy

Paula Kashtan

re: Q: Scared of Pregnant Sex?

Can you masterbate?

babyhopeful |

re: Q: Scared of Pregnant Sex?

It was not easy at first for my husband and me to figure out the whole sex thing. He was concerned about the "hurting the baby" thing, especially since the first time we had spotting. Once we cleared it with the doc and realized there are a plethora of other things we can do to get it on, he relaxed. We still don't have it all the time (well, as much as I would like) and he still has residual concerns, but I can tell you it has been fun doin' it.

LadyCheena |

re: Q: Scared of Pregnant Sex?

And yes, you can still masturbate.

LadyCheena |

re: Q: Scared of pregnant sex?

Is it normal to have to stop in the middle of sex to go potty?

ebb924 |

re: Q: Scared of pregnant sex?

I feel like Im on a really bad ride at the amusement park. I enjoy it but at the same time. Im about to throwup at any moment.

Woohoneychild |

re: Q: Scared of pregnant sex?

My partner and I have had sex a couple of times since I became pregnant, but I couldn't enjoy it because it hurt me and I had to get him to stop. He's really understanding about it and says we don't have to if I don't want to, but I do, I enjoy sex and I don't want to go throught he next five months without it. Does anyone else have this problem and if so, what can I do about it?

toptotty81 |

re: Q: Scared of pregnant sex?

I'm glad to know that I'm not alone dealing with this. My husband had no problem at first having sex when I was pregnant with our daughter. Now all of a sudden, he thinks it may be a boy, he doesn't want to put a dent in the babies head. I'm going CRAZY!!!

ChiPeace |

re: Q: Scared of pregnant sex?

Hey toptotty81, I feel the same exact way. I'm just gonna keep trying. What do you think by now?

tinosbaby |

re: Q: Scared of pregnant sex?

my husband and I were having the same issue, pain during sex. My midwife suggested that we try using a lot of lube because when you are prego you may become VERY dry which can lead to a sandpaper sort of feeling. We have switched from KY to Astroglide and it seems to be doing the trick. MUCH BETTER! I hope my advice helps :)

ashchavez |

re: Q: Scared of pregnant sex?

My DH wants it all the time but he does not seam to understand why I don't. I end up doing it anyways most the time but I don't really enjoy it. It is more of a chore.

|

re: Q: Scared of pregnant sex?

Hey Toptotty talk to your doctor about lidocaine. It's helped me a ton! I'm not pregnant yet but it sure helps. Hope it helps you - or that you're allowed to use it. Good luck!

Cranberri7 |

re: Q: Scared of pregnant sex?

It's not him that's scared of the prego sex it's me. Everytime we had sex during my 1st trimester I ended up in the hospital with severe bleeding. I had twins and lost 1 but I was able to keep the other thankfully. And I'm horney as hell but scared to have sex because I don't wanna end up in the hospital again

elmo777e@yahoo.com |

Q&A: Husband scared of sex during pregnancy?

8th months preggy is it ok to have sex?

roby03tope |

Q&A: Husband scared of sex during pregnancy?

Unless you have been told otherwise by your doctor, sex is always okay. Assuming of course you're having sex with the same person. Multiple partners can expose you to disease that can threaten you and the baby.

titania9 |

Q&A: Husband scared of sex during pregnancy?

Like a lot of men, my husband didn't know a whole lot about female anatomy. So, when I became pregnant, he of course had the fear that he'd hurt me or the baby. I reassured him that although he's well endowed, he'd have to be a stallion to get high up enough inside me to do any damage. After a few discussions, he warmed up to the idea. We enjoy it more than ever now- things are "different" feeling, and that benefits us both. I'm happy to say that I haven't lost my lebido at all and having sex doesn't hurt at this point (11 weeks). Let's hope that continues! Good luck ladies!

LMScherr |

Q&A: Husband scared of sex during pregnancy?

My husband has no problem with sex, he enjoys it although he is frustrated because I don't. Besides feeling like we r somehow squshing and shaking up the baby, it is so uncomfortable for me, it nearly hurts! I feel bad, but we don't have sex more than once or twice a month, he is understanding, but frustrated. Less than 4 months to go so hopefully it won't be too bad, though I am sure after she is born, we will be too tired and not have the time for sex.

susie985 |

Q&A: Husband scared of sex during pregnancy?

Sex was really painful for me during most of the first trimester. My DH was understanding, but it was also frustrating for the both of us. lol Being a young couple and having great chemistry, I felt like an extreme let down to my honey. We had never experienced something so... disappointing, I guess would have to ve the closest thing. I'm into week 16 now though and we're at it gain as much as possible. It's a great stress relief for the both of us, not to mention bringing us closer each time. It's not as painful anymore either, unless I position myself in certain way- then he pushes on my cervix... which kinda hurts. o: But I think for whatever reason it was good to discover, because I am looking forward to having labor induced by an orgasm. Yes, I honestly think I'm rambling a little bit now. ^^ Either way I hope some good came from my scattered brain. :D

whttkrktrs |

Q&A: Husband scared of sex during pregnancy?

For those who are experiencing pain.. try lube if it hurts while going in & out.. if you are dry. I use lube all the time, it just adds to the enjoyment! otherwise, it it feels like something it hitting deep inside.. new position time! :) Sometimes it can hit your cervix and this causes a sharp pain inside of you. So move around, turn, spoon, doggie.. etc. you dont have to give up sex!

angelfadedblue |

Q&A: Husband scared of sex during pregnancy?

im 18wks and stil have the fear of him being on top and hurting the baby? is him laying on top of me ok??

hamilcha |

Q&A: Husband scared of sex during pregnancy?

My husband and I use to have a great sex life pre-pregnancy and we are now having our first child. My first trimester sex life didn't change much but I did notice we didnt have sex as often. I am now in my third trimester and I feel that our sex life is at its worse. I use to feel extremely sexy pre-pregnancy and granted I havent blown up like a balloon Im basically all belly but I know that I find it hard to see myself as being sexy now so I can only imagine what my husband thinks. He tells me Im sexy but I feel its a different sexy just because im carrying our child but i dont feel he finds me sexually arousing that much anymore. I'm finding it extremely hard to cope with these new changes to our life especially since sex is extremely important to me. It doesnt even really help anymore if I try to wear my sexy underwear still or make sure that I shave. I feel that my husband only wants to recieve now but doesnt really consider my needs. He knows what a hard time I've been having with going from being slim and sexy to putting on pregnancy weight and gaining a basketball in front of me and its so depressing that I can't even get that intimate arousal satisfaction anymore. One thing he did say to me most recently as I'm trying to get him to the bedroom for sexy time is when should you stop having sex (getting closer to the due date) and my response was NEVER! That killed the mood and I'm feeling more down about this issue more then ever as I had said we use to have an awesome sex life! Its bad enough that women have to go through so many changes with their body and when your husband makes those changes stronger, I just want to cry! I feel like shouting I'm sorry I have to get fat to have OUR child while you get to stay the same, dont worry I wont make you have sex with this or dont worry I wont take my clothes off....what am i suppose to do???

aandj637 |

Q&A: Husband scared of sex during pregnancy?

I'm sooooooooooo glad to hear I'm not the only one dealing with this. We've been trying for two years to get pregnant, which is why (I think) he's so nervous about hurting the baby and/or me. I completely understand, and am trying hard to not push the subject...but I still want to feel sexy! I have no idea how to convince him that everything will be ok without making him stubborn or embarassed. In the long run, though, if this is the worst pregnancy "side effect" I face, I think I'll be ok.

gigihawaii |

Q&A: Husband scared of sex during pregnancy?

I am going through the exact same thing...I have always had a nice stomach and I have always felt sexy for my husband...I remember all the times he would start to get all sexy with me...now it is far and in between. Im 23 weeks with a soccer ball in my stomach. I just dont think he finds me sexy anymore...it feels so weird...if we do have sex, it is in the shower, which is nice...but i just wish it was more...I just wonder what he is thinking...when i try to talk about it...he just says that I am sexy...he just doesnt want to hurt my feelings. This is our first, so I didnt know what to expect.

kwosnuk |

Q&A: Husband scared of sex during pregnancy?

My husband was also very concerned about sex being safe for the baby. I reassured him several times that the doctors all say it's very much alright. I did find that as my belly has gotten bigger, he can no longer be on top. It seems that the only way we can have sex at this point is either for me to be on top or he behind me. Some men though just are very stubborn, but you can always look at it this way. At least he's showing concern for hurting the baby.

dragonfly82174 |

Q&A: Husband scared of sex during pregnancy?

I am so happy that I realize I am not alone in this world of prego and the "unwanted" At least that is how I feel. My husband said to me when we first got together how I made him feel like a man in the bedroom. Now just 9 months newly wed and 6.5 months pregnant, I feel like I make him "comfortable" in the bedroom, to heck with feeling like a man. We haven't had sex in nearly 3 months and this is after I have cried myself to sleep in front of him I may add because I felt "fat, unattractive and undesirable." I felt like a pillow for goodness sakes! I have tried talking to him, I have even tried bringing him to docs appts and approaching the subject, books you name it nothing works. Finally I have given up and believe me I am so sad that after being my own sexy diva I have given up. I don't know what will happen after the baby, I only hope that the girls don't shrivel up on me! When I ask him about it, he doesn't say anything but "come cuddle." I am TIRED of cuddling!!!!!

lespiedsdoc04 |

Q&A: Husband scared of sex during pregnancy?

If you want to make your husband change his mind, you could trying watching wow nude together with your husband. That will surely "motivate" him enough. I don't know if this advice will be useful for your or not, but you can surely try.

SelenaGG |

Q&A: Husband scared of sex during pregnancy?

Yea, I always wondered if my befriend and I would come to the point where he was afraid to have sex until last night. We were having a very emotional, heartfelt moment together and things just started happening...good things, lol. Well he ended up on top but I had to push him away because I couldn't breathe and I was getting dissipated by pillows everywhere and him pressing my belt into Mt diaphragm

sunshine&penguins |

Q&A: Husband scared of sex during pregnancy?

OMG, I can't believe how dumb my phone just made me look..... ”dissipated” should be ”suffocated”, go figure that one....thanks, Swype...pfff, and ”belt” should be ”belly”. Anyways...belly into my diaphragm, couldn't breathe... He scrambled away like I had suck him with a needle and then refused to continue after I caught my breath. I tried everything but he just turned his back to me. I felt so bad and so humiliated because I just threw myself at him and he just completely wanted nothing to do with me! Then he fell asleep smack in the middle of the bed. I didn't even bother with it, n just camped on the floor....bad choice....lol.

sunshine&penguins |

Q&A: Husband scared of sex during pregnancy?

Maybe you should hire a few Vienna escorts and your husband will probably forget all his fears:)) Trust me on this one. It works like a charm.

BBBXXX |

Q&A: Husband scared of sex during pregnancy?

My husband and I used to have sex 4-5 times a week. We've had sex twice in the 3 1/2 months since we found out I was pregnant. This includes the night we got married. Devastating pretty much sums it up.

hmac1220 |

Q&A: Husband scared of sex during pregnancy?

I struggle with the same thing. My DH and I struggle with finding a position that is satisfying for the both of us.

babynebs |