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Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

If a baby is found to be positive for down syndrome, is termination possible at 19-20 weeks?

Re: If a baby is found to be positive for down syndrome, is termination possible at 19-20 weeks?

The Bump Expert

Termination is generally possible at 19-20 weeks, but the later in pregnancy you have the termination, the greater the risks are to you of having a complication from the procedure such as significant bleeding or injury to your intestines or bladder. The gestational age restrictions for termination of pregnancy are legal restrictions and vary state by state.

Dr. Ashley Roman

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

This post is very disturbing to me. I would never consider termination even if the baby does have down syndrome. Children with downs are extremely lovable.

lsugirl852 |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

I think this a disturbing post. I could never terminate and hate to think that someone would just because the outome is perfect or how they imagined it would be.

miniddev |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

This question disgusts me.

Kimba1185 |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

I am very bothered by this as well. Having worked with many children and adults with Down Syndrome I do not see this as justification whatsoever for terminating a pregnancy. Yes, raising a child with DS willl take a little more work, but the joy someone will get back from their child will be well worth it. I would never terminate due to DS!

LisnJon |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

I am in the high risk category for having a baby with Down Syndrome and I could never terminate my baby willingly. I had an u/s at 11 weeks and the baby was moving it's hand up and down and near it's face and I just cannot imagine even ASKING that question at 19 weeks!!! Why on earth would someone wait this long to decide that? I won't know for sure unless I have an amnio and it's out of our hands. I love this little baby no matter what is to be!

BebeVee |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

How terrible! It might be a scary situation to face, but to end a life is wrong. My cousin has severe cerberal paulsy and he is the greatest gift from God.

k.grahl@hotmail.com |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

I am having the DS test in a few weeks. I will be around 17 weeks Pregnant. If it comes back Positive I will terminate the pregnancy. I have a friend that has a DS son and it has been a complete nightware for their entire family. It has been worst for the little guy. He is sweet but he can't make friends and he even asked his mom why he can't have friends at school and why kids make fun of him. I wouldn't want to raise a child in this situation. I think it would selfish of me to make a child go through life getting made fun of and looked at everyday.

Oct092004Bride |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

To the pp who would terminate her DS child b/c he or she might be made fun of: Have you asked your friend if she wished she had disposed of her baby?And.....How can you guarantee that your "perfectly healthy" child won't be made fun of for some reason? Maybe your child will be obese or wear glasses or have a learning disability? Kids are cruel, it's a part of life. As good parents you help the child through that.And just because the child clears the test for Downs doesn't mean he/she won't have any other birth defect. How will you justify your "selfish" choice to have the child then? Perhaps you need to justify aborting a child that in your eyes is not perfect? Well good luck with that.What has our society come to where we just randomly decide what is worthy of life and what isn't? And by the way....you could have already had a CVS (still in first trimester)or an amnio to determine if the baby has Downs or Trisomy 18. Why would you wait til 17 weeks when you would have to abort a fetus that is developed to the point it can suck it's thumb?

BebeVee |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

Unfortunatley, I am in the age group for these tests to be administered when I finally get pg. I don't think I would terminate even if the baby had Downs, that would be a decision I could never live with.

Frankie'sGirl05 |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

It's such a personal question and no matter what you choose you will have to live with it. I personally would choose to terminate. I've seen genetic dysfunctions totally rip apart families. It's not fair to bring a child into the world with so many health problems not to mention the socializing problems they have as a result. I couldn't do that knowing that I may die and there would be nobody to take care of my child other than an institution. I do agree that this should have been discovered earlier in the pregnancy and the decision should have already been made.

prettypiphi |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

Thanks goodness we live in a country where we have a choice in the matter! Everyone has a different threshold of what they can emotionally & physically take. Caring for a disabled child is very, very difficult. I give credit to those who realize this is beyond their capacity and terminate. I also give credit to those who give care & love to these babies, children and adults whether it be the parents or when, often as they get bigger, they need to be put in a special home.

goldilocks415 |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

I don't think this question is disgusting at all as there are people out there that will have to make this choice and they should be given all the factual information available to readily come to the conclusion that is most appropriate for the individual mother's and her family's needs. Personally, I would have the greatest difficulty making that choice should I ever be given the news and every bit of information I could muster would put me towards the choice I could personally live with. Questions like these are valid and I personally, would like to see more of them.

PentacleSeven |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

To everyone that said I should have had the test done earlier. I would have loved to but my doctors said that it can't be done until week 16. I would have had it done as soon as I become pregnant. I would hate to terminate a pregnacy. I just feel as if it would be a selfish act if I did so.

Oct092004Bride |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

FYI for all of those considering diagnostic testing....PP said that she couldn't have amnio til 16 weeks which is correct. Where she is incorrect however is saying she couldn't have ANY testing done until then.There is a very common test called CvS (Chorionic Villus Sampling) that is available starting at 11 weeks (when you are still in your first trimester) which also tests for Down Syndrome. SO.....you DON'T have to wait til baby is bigger than a half a pound to abort because of chromosomal abnormalities like Downs.Choice is great and necessary. But let's get our facts straight before playing that card.

BebeVee |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

To BebeVee...Maybe YOU should get your facts straight. CVS has an accuracy rate of 50%. While I wouldn't ever consider terminating a pregnancy because of a 50/50 chance of problems, a more dependable test like amniocentisis might change my mind.Choice IS great and necessary. Another great thing is witholding judgement. I doubt Oct092004Bride relishes the thought of terminating a pregnancy, but not everybody feels equipped to care for a special-needs child. I can't say what I would do in her situation, but I'd like to think I would receive more support than she's getting. I'm glad to know now, before I need it, that this site is not one where I would feel comfortable discussing my problems.Oct092004Bride, my prayers are with you during this difficult time, and I wish you the best of luck no matter what the outcome of your test or what decision you make.

mrsmoulton |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

All I have to say is one really will not know what they will do until they are actually in the situation. And like Goldilocks said, I am glad I live in a country where I have the choice and freedom to choose what is best for me and my family.

whirlygal |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

To anyone experiencing something like this I wish all the best, no matter what decision they make. It is every individual mother or family's choice and it must be an incredibly difficult one to make. It is not for any of us to pass judgement on them. Thet need support and understanding, not knee-jerk religious disgust and scorn.

happysparkle |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

Oh MRS.MOULTON....Where do you come up with your numbers? Get YOUR facts straight. CVS has an accuracy rate of 98-99%! You think a doctor would take placenta samplings with a 50/50 accuracy rate...C'mon! This is from the American Pregnancy Association...What do chorionic villus sampling (CVS) results mean?CVS is a diagnostic test that detects chromosome abnormalities and genetic disorders with high levels of accuracy (98-99%). Although the probabilities of identification are high, this test does not measure the severity of these disorders. This test does not help identify neural tube defects.And no one is judging or spouting knee jerk religious scorn. I am pro choice and believe a woman had the right to do what she feels is right for her. Where we are parting ways here is a timing issue. If someone thinks they cannot handle having a special needs child then how about asking some simple questions of their doctor and having the first test available. This isn't rocket science or secretly guarded facts from the medical profession. (Although it seems there are some people who make stuff up like previous posters).Having a "medical" abortion in the first trimester is radically different than a "surgical" abortion that may need to be done in the second trimester. And there can be complications to the mother as well including infertility.My whole point of this is ask questions of your physician and find out your options early on so you can be informed and enjoy your pregnancy or make that tough decision.Good luck to all the moms out there and a happy healthy 9 months to you all.

BebeVee |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

this question is very disturbing...my mother gave birth to twin girls who BOTH had downs.... They are now 16 and have lived the best life I could ever imagine...not only are they loving they can be very smart too if you try ... My mom is as active in the downs syndrome community as possible...enrolling the girls in camp and schools and going to a mutual church with other children with disabilites have made them a ton of friends...they might not be perfect but in their eyes everyone is perfect and I couldnt see anyone living without those children.... no one makes fun of them...they are and always have been extremely popular in school...and I am talking normal public school...nowadays kids have learned diversity and this isnt out of the norm for them!

JenRose05 |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

I grew up with a mentally handicapped sister who is moderate-severly disabled. Life with her was never any picnic and our family made a lot of sacrifices along the way. Her behavior was difficult to live with and she was and still is a burden to the family and society. I love her very much and am very protective of her, but she will never hold an actual job or live independently. She stays all day in a sheltered workshop with ignorant ill-experienced staff. I couldn't bring myself to have a child with a major disability like that because I've seen first hand the past 30 years what it has done to our family and the worry and guilt we live with every day for her. She is in a group home now with very little, if any, community involvement. When you can no longer care for your adult son/daughter many of them end up in state schools or facilities that are quite often filled with abuse, over crowding and neglect. With DS, there are many different levels of the handicap, but they have a lifetime of health problems and usually don't live as long as normal people.

ylimebride |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

Wow...this is a very touchy subject. Myself personally I wouldn't terminate a baby with DS because of a lot of reasons. First off I think it's wrong and there's no other way to say it. I think it is good to find out early on that way you can somewhat prepare yourself for raising the baby. Second I had a lot of health problems when I was born...not DS but a lot and sure it would have been easy for my parents to terminate me had they known about all these problems or even give me up but they didn't because they wanted me. I think it's harsh to call a baby with DS a burden because if you think about it at some point everyone's a burden to someone whether they are a special needs child or an extremely difficult rebellious teenager or a grown parent who can no longer take care of themselves and for whatever reason can't be in a home and has to live with their grown kids and their family. It's a lump of life and I think people should try to work through it.

LadyNieto |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

Plain and simple - i will love my child no matter what. God gave me this precious gift and I could never do anything to harm it in any way. This question discusts me.

lvisser |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

I am sorry to see that most of the comments in response to your question are negative and judgmental -- some women would never chose to terminate a baby with Down syndrome, and that is their prerogative, just as it is yours to terminate at whatever point in your pregnancy you choose within the legal limit. Don't feel like you are alone, either. According to this NY Times article (with a link to pubMed), over NINETY PERCENT of women with a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome terminate. Also, there are message boards on babycenter that focus on women considering termination; you might want to go there to get support. Good luck with your decision!http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/09/us/09down.html?ex=1187928000&en=463181cbb99713c6&ei=5070

mishy611 |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

THIS IS SICK!!! It is a blessing to have children. When I found out I was pegnant, I jumped for joy knowing that I have the ability to even become pregnant. The question is selfish... the child didnt ask to be brought here, and because of YOUR genetic make-up, you want to kill him/her. WOW... it is amazing how truly ignorant the world (and the people in it) can be.

Tinnelle |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

What disgusts me about this post are all of the narrow minded jerks that are posting replies. I am sure that anyone who makes the choice to terminate a pregnancy due to birth defects has made an extremely difficult and emotionaly straining decision but the decision that is right for her and her family. She doesn't need the added strain of strangers bashing her for her personal decision. The women posting the question wanted to get a medical answer, not flamed by ignorant people who have too much time on their hands. If life is so important to you then go out and get one of your own and leave this poor woman alone.

RedHeadRenee |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

I totally agree with the pp. Who are any of you to judge someone that is faced with that decision? Everyone is entitled to their opinion but must you be so rude about it? I can't believe the amount of posts that said they were disgusted by the question. What age are we living in? Did anyone out there even begin to think that not all of us are so well off that others might not be able to financially care for a child with special needs? Since most of you got up on your soap boxes maybe you would all be willing to part with the cash for it. I think you should be happy to live some where you have a choice. Get over yourselves!

Mikeysgirl923 |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

No one knows how or what they would do until they are in this situation!!!!! Do not judge! I am 29 years old and my unborn daughter has Ds. I am 24 weeks along, and the range of emotions is heart wrenching. There would be no reason for someone who is not at risk to have a CVS. It is not anything I would have ever thought of. A CVS would not be warranted at all. Nothing would be wrong with my baby! My quad screen came back abnormal at 17 weeks and was confirmed by amnio at 18 weeks. So that is why someone would wait so long. It was unknown until 18 weeks. I would never have thought of having an abortion prior to this situation, but until you are told that your daughter will be retarded you do not know!!! I would have said before that I will take whatever God gives me. Well that is easy to say until it happens to you. I can't beleive the amount of woman who are judging about this when they have no idea. This is the worst thing my husband and I have ever gone through. The feelings of not wanting a planned baby or wishing to miscarriage are so terrible. We were faced with terminating and almost did twice. I am so angered by these posts. They are out of plain ignorance and lack of education on the matter. Why would it matter if you terminated in your first or second tri-mester?? You are still killing your baby and it is the same process. Most woman do not find out till after their quad tests come back abnormal. I will choose to have a CVS next time but only because I am at risk now. Please do not speak if you have not walked in someones shoes. Unless someone has given you this diagnosis you have no idea. I would never wish this upon anyone!!!!

kjc78 |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

I think that anyone who is faced with this decision is not taking it lightly. I think Ds is a scary thought to face and unless you yourself have faced the situation you are REALLY REALLY wrong to judge. I myself have 2 siblings with severe learning disablities and life with them was and is hard. I was teased myself for having siblings with problems I had to be their and my own defender all thoughout school and still people recoil away when meeting my siblings. Now that I am married and DH and I are planning on TTC I had to face telling my parents that when they are gone I will not be my siblings care givers because I will have my own family to care for and I do not want my unborn children faced with maybe needing to be the care givers for their Aunt and Uncle. i have seen the struggle for my family first hand, i have seen the torment my sister faces every day. She is VERY unhappy and has never found a neiche to fit into no matter how hard my parents tried. She is miserable and unhappy and I feel badly for her. My DH and I are undergoing genetic counseling because while these problems are not considered to be genetic I would not want to go through this heartbreak with a child of my own. Good luck to you and know the decision you make are the best for you your family and your children!

pixiedustie |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

As a woman struggling with inferility, I wish this woman would have this baby and give it to me. I have worked with so many children and adults with down syndrome and they are beautiful and so special. Anybody read the book "Memory Keeper's Daughter?"

foxybride |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

I think it's absolutely disgusting to even consider termination because your child won't be just perfect!! Children with Downs Syndrome have been known to be the most loving, happy children. To think that you have the privilege of conceiving a child, then would throw it away because it's not normal. I knew a family who adopted a child with Downs Syndrome and they loved their daughter dearly. To think that they CHOSE her while others would terminate. Give your imperfect child up for adoption and let someone less selfish raise your child.

anniemacgregor |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

Just because the decision is not for you don't judge others for the decisions that they feel is right for themselves. Keep your thoughts to yourself, this is a legit medical question that I'm sure the author thought that it was possible she was going to get this kind of response. Not only that, other women are probably wondering the same exact thing. A woman needs to look at all her options. I don't believe that termination is a possible choice for myself but it is for others. Don't pass judgement on others. This is only between the mother, father and God. God should be the only judge. Watch Cider House Rules and see what happens when termination is NOT an option for a mother. There are always two sides.

Mrs. Eckhart |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

I agree that everyone is entitled to his or her own decision. However, for those of you that are appalled by people that say they would terminate pregnancy due to DS think about further down the line. What happens to your child when you are no longer there to take care of them? Were do they go. I do not have any siblings and if both my husband and I die, what happens to my child whose life depends on me?

Katielv143 |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

Hmmm....I probably cant tell you for sure what I'd do unless I was currently in the situation.....but I would entertain the idea of terminating. The world is cruel enough without having a disability like DS. I dont know that I could provide the level of emotional protection to my child to keep them from being hurt by the idiots that are out there who would judge them for having DS or any other disability for that matter.....And, as I see someone else mentioned on here...I can't be here to help them forever....someday when I'm gone, who can I depend on to care for my child who will need care for the rest of his/her life? I would definetly consider terminating, and I feel bad for the girl who originally posted this question because of the rude responses. I hope everything worked out for the best for you.

ponygurl81 |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

I can't believe the people who are saying the idea is disgusting. I guarantee none of those people have children with DS. The choice is completely personal (and it is a choice, by the way) and you have no idea how hard it is until you are in that situation. A very close personal friend of mine has a son with down syndrome and I've volunteered with her and her family at our local Down syndrome association. However, her life is anywhere from easy. She and her husband are constantly struggling financially. They both have masters degrees, great jobs, and work full time. And they worry about their daughter who does not have downs, and how she'll be responsible for caring for their son when they're no longer around.Depending on the severity of the down syndrome your child has and how much time you have to personally work with them you may not be able to handle it. The people I know who have children with downs have to spend a lot of money on tutors and special classes. Their son can't go to a normal school and with both parents working full time jobs they can't teach him themselves. Having a child with down syndrome is a constant struggle financially and emotionally. I would understand why a woman would consider termination. And I think its unfair of people who have never been in this situation to get all self-rightous and call someone digusting when they're just brave enough to admit they can't handle the challenge of raising a special needs child.

mrsfasola |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

wow. i mean, i understand having a child with a disability is hard. i have a brother with autism and it was never easy. but now, as an adult, and even when i was young, i could not imagine my life without him around. the fact is, we are all created with strengths and weaknesses and that is what makes the world a wonderful and beautiful place. you cannot simply terminate a life because it isn't what you expect. no child will ever be exactly what you expect. ever.

PMJacobsen |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

Wow. I don't know if I'm more troubled by the sheer volume of negative responses to this question or the fact that all of the women who wrote them are either trying to conceive, pregnant, or already parents. Just what the world needs: more ignorant, intolerant, judgmental, and self-righteous people running around. Here's a novel idea, ladies: instead of hopping up on your soap boxes to loudly proclaim your moral righteousness, why not consider an actual answer to the question? Then, when you realize that-- whoops!-- you don't actually have anything relevant, let alone remotely helpful to say, you can save your breath and spare us all your hurtful, unwarranted comments and find something productive to do with your time and effort. And as for the woman who originally posted this question, as I've never had the misfortune of being in your incredibly difficult situation, the only thing I can say is that I sincerely hope that the road to your final decision isn't as fraught with intolerance as this ridiculous message board. Good luck to you.

alexgolightly |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

I agree with the pp. I am not in this situation, so who am I to say it is disgusting appalling, or whatever. People are so quick to judge and say what they wouldn't do. For the women who are faced with this difficult decision, just know what ever decision you make is what is best for you. Don't let ANYONE make you feel guilty about your choice.

missmea |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

I am an educator and I love all of my students. I could not imagine walking on campus and not seeing the many special needs students I work with. My personal thought is that life is not perfect, and we should not pretend that having a perfect baby will make our lives "perfect." I can only say what I would not do...however, I will not sit in judgement of anyone else who chooses to make the choice. Either way, they must live with their choice, and it is a difficult choice to make!!!! Take care.

hihobb |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

As a health professional who deals with new prenatal dx of DS, we are taught not to say things like oh kids with down syndrome are always happy, etc. Some people in the DS community take offense to generalizations like that. FYI

GoBadgers |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

My sister who waited 35 years for a baby had to terminate, it was not a developmental disorder but a physical that would have given the child two years of agony before a very painful death. She is the first person who would love her child regardless of who and what they are, but she is also a realist who understood what that life would be like.You can never know what you will do in a situation like this untill you are in it. What if you have other chldren? This seanrio can often bankrupt a family, is it right for your other kids to never have a college fund, free time, or a carefree youth, because they must care for a disabled sibling? Often this is the case for the rest of their lives. They most likely will not begrudge their sibling because they love them, but they also never have the opportunity to know any other type of reality.Lets just hope for healthy children, and DEMAND funding for programs that will help families who are already in these situations.

Amy&Anthony |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

This post disturbs me as well. I LOVE my sister with Down Syndrome and wouldn't consider it a burden on our lives at all! She always has the best attitude and loves everyone she meets. I'm jealous of her outlook on life. She just wants to have a good time and love everyone. To the people who said it would be selfish to raise a child with Down Syndrome: I think you are selfish!!!

Alligator |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

Before my mom knew she was pregnant with me she went to get her tubes tied. They didn't do any test to see if she was pregnant or anything. They drugged her up and cut her open and the doctor found me inside. Then her father died (stress is hard on a pregnancy) then she got severe food poisoning at a restaurant. All of this when she was pregnant with me. The doctor "advised" her to get an abortion because I would either be mentally challanged or die soon after birth because of his screw up with the operation and the other things. Obviously my mom didn't get an abortion, and I'm thankful for that.So needless to say, I am against abortion in any case of being mentally challenged. The doctor was wrong, because I turned out fine. Who's to say anyother doctor is wrong and you are terminating a pregnancy of a perfectly fine baby? So yes, you can say that was a long time ago (I am 21 years old) and medical technology is way better now. Well I have a cousin who had a baby 3 years ago and while she was pregnant they said her baby would have down syndrome, and she turned out fine too.

MJ Lundrigan |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

The only thing I find disgusting aboutthis thread are the judgements people are making about someoen asking a question that woudl be hard for anyoe She didn't ask if you thought it was right ad she certainly doens't need your scorn or disdain fifshe is facing this difficult and very personal decsion which I am sure will affect her for the rest of her life no matter what she decides. I fid your answers more repulsive than anythign she could decide- I ask who in the world ar eyou to stand in judgement of her or what she might decide to do in her family planning. You guys (the judgemtnal posters) are gross to me. Personally I don't knwo that I could terminate-- but I surely don't stand in judgment of those who do and if I were in her situation who knows, though I would liek to have though I could talk to someone hear without being judged-- clearly not.

changingnames |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

ok, my best friend has a baby w.DS and there are people who are confusing DS w/more major mental retardation and I can tell you they are not the same. There are colleges for children with DS. I am not judging people who have to make such a didfficult choince, nor do I think anyone else should either, but PLEASE do not try and get facts from random strangers on a web sight. Speak to DR's and actually you would be much more informed by parents of those w/DS children. Although I appreciate much of the concern most women give on this sight, I also find it to be the MOST JUDGEMENTAL, place you will ever go. People on this sight are just that people and infortunately people can be very judgemental, so please whenever considering making such life changing choices do NOT get you info from chat rooms. As you can see it varies greatly

thelonelywife |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

I don't know how anyone would want to willingly terminate their pregnancy. I had a miscarriage in November 2006 that was and still is very hard for me. I would have taken that baby no matter what!

Kmills2bein05 |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

I think there are some judgemental people out there as demonstrated by these posts. Ironically, it's for the same reason one may consider to terminate. I thought this was a support, not an ambush.

SmittenGirl |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

I don't like to judge without knowing the circumstances. However, my little sister has Down Syndrome and life without her wouldn't be the same. She is my little angel and I love her so much. I can't even imagine terminating a pregnancy because the child may have Down Syndrome. And the severities are different. My little sis has a pretty severe case of Downs but I know several other people with DS and they have a mild case. They are fully functioning citizens of our society. I recommend at least giving up the baby for adoption. Not abortion. Some people love DS kids and will adopt them.

FemmeRides |

re: Q: Down Syndrome Termination?

I skipped to the end after about 10 posts, so forgive me if I am repeating. Like many, I agree that women have the right to make their own decisions, however I encourage all women to make informed pregnancy choices. Do your homework and carefully consider the short- and long-term consequences of your choices. Furthermore, on a personal level, it saddens me to read that many of you would terminate a child with DS because "it wouldn't be fair to them...it would be selfish to keep them." It seems to me that it is selfish to discard them for lack of motivation to bear the burden of parenting a (possibly) more difficult child. Additionally, with all the heartbroken ladies on here who are TTC without success, I bet their hearts long for the babies that you are giving up. Remember that a viable option is adoption, and it is often the most loving choice you can make. It you do not think that you can be the parent this child needs, please consider giving the gift of life to this baby and to a family out there who is longing for a little one of their own.

junebridelt |

re: Q: Down syndrome termination?

I agree with the PP; this is a medical question, not one to be answered or judged by those of us on the message board. And while it is long past, I'm sure it will come up again. The OP did not ask for anyone's opinions, thoughts or emotional stories. More or less, this question warrants a simple yes/no response by a medical professional.It's a shame that people are so quick to judge and make negative comments. Sharing your opinion or lending advice is one thing, being insensitive and rude is quite another. TheNest is a great board and parents can find great information, but the catty comments are never helpful.

Erin0422 |

re: Q: Down syndrome termination?

Terminating a pregnancy for whatever reason is a personal choice, and a very difficult one at that. Instead of looking down on eachother and professing how "superior" our own moral standards would be in this situation, we should be supporting eachother through whatever happens.

birdzofzodiac |

re: Q: Down syndrome termination?

I understand that this question is disturbing. Most of us dont agree with it. BUT it is on here for a reason. Some people cant handle the facts. This is a real question posed in peoples minds. They have the right to know, even if we dont agree with it.

LadyKittyDecay |

re: Q: Down syndrome termination?

While a friend was pregnant, she found out that her baby had a rare bone disorder which would cause bones to break easily and often. It would be an incredibly painful and difficult life, for both parents and child. She was told by doctors to abort, but because we know God created life, and we trust in his plan, we prayed and prayed, put our trust in him and she decided to keep the baby. And the baby was born free of any issues. It is a miracle story, because she didn't remove God from the equation.

nicoleafurrow |

re: Q: Down syndrome termination?

This is absolutely horrifying! I can't believe you would even want children. There are many diseases and things your child can have. Kids are cruel and do make fun of other kids no matter who they are. I am a teacher and see it everyday. I have a sister who can't have children and she would be happy to have any child. God has a plan for all of us!

tenny06 |

re: Q: Down syndrome termination?

I think it is a very touchy subject, but it all comes down to the matter of personal choice. I at first said I wouldn't want my child to have to go through it, but after reading what everyone else has said, it gives me a different outlook so to speak.

tohave2hold |

re: Q: Down syndrome termination?

Absolutely terrible! I am sick to my stomach to think that someone would want to take their childs life just because they have a disability. I am 19 weeks pregnant and my baby has symptoms of DS. Although i am sad that he/she may have a harder life, this means that i have to give this baby more love and i am fine with that, i know i have a lot of love to give.

csund |

re: Q: Down syndrome termination?

How about people with a more advance degree of DS (sorry don't know the exact term).. What if you child had no way to communicate with the exterior word other than vomit when in an unpleasant situation.. Its a hard decision to make.. Im not one for religion but more for science or "normal progression of nature".. What happens if an animal comes to life with a "disability"? If the mother does not terminate its life, it is going to die. Because in nature, the mom won't care for its baby all of its life.. Not saying this should be the way for humans but it makes you think.. Also if society thought terminating was not the right thing to do for some people, we would not have access to screening tests. Because honestly, why would you test if you never thought about termination if the child was not healthy..

caromartin |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I am disgusted by all of the opinionated people on here. I am in a situation now where we are having CVS testing tomorrow as our 'odds' came back 1/16 for downs. I can now confidently say that if the news is bad, we will terminate. It is something that I never thought I'd do, but for those of you who 'know' you'd never do that...think again! Until you are living that life, you have no idea what your choice would be.

kelli_morin |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I am in the same position, as I have my amnio in 3 weeks. I chose not to do CVS because its risk for mc is higher and its accuracy is lower, if it is positive you have the amnio to find out for certain anyways. Do I want to term my baby if she has down? No, I do not but I WILL terminate as painful as it will be. A child with down syndrome will be supported by the government in adulthood and will contribute to his family in loving ways, but he will drawl off of society.. Parents who choose to keep these children are only putting more stress on an already bankrupt country and when the parents are gone, nobody is left to care for them except for siblings or the state. That is an awful lot of responsibility to place on siblings who have no choice in the matter. And the state system is rampant with abuse and neglect. You just can't think about that "baby" you want to love you need to think about that baby's quality of life as an adult.

Renee |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Those test do have false positive. It would be a shame to kill a child need lessly. My friend was told her child had DS and she was normal at birth. Only 1-3 % of babies are born with "abnormalities" We shouldn't stress our selves out with testing. I'm over 35 and chose to have no testing other than an ultrasound at 20 weeks. I just wanted to enjoy my pregnancy stressfree.

ladycat303 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Wow, I'm just entering the world of mommyhood as I enter into my 4th month with my first pregnancy. I have always heard about how judgemental other mothers can be but this definitely tops the list. I look forward to reading the boards but I'm disappointed by the lack of support for one another. We all choose different paths in lfe and make decisions daily that are best for us and our loved ones. Why don't we try and uplift each other with comforting words of encouragement, experience and wisdom instead of poking each other for one's opinions and life choices. Shame on all of the judgement out there!

mulatta72 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Why don't you ppl stop judging. Having a baby is hard enough, with down syndrome I couldn't even imagine. All of you need to stop being so judgemental. She came here for advice not scrutiny.

kdiaisfly |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

termination of any baby is wrong, regardless of "justification"!

HansenMama2010 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

*iF THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU GO TO THE NEXT*, but everyone on here judging and downing this person is not right. We are all going through different situations surrounding our pregnancy. I have though about this a million times what I would do if my test came back positive for DS. Not once could I come up with a answer.Please stop being so narrow minded, and be thankful that you dont have to be put in such a TOUGH situation. I understand there are women on here that have been trying to concieve and so forth and so on...but guess what... that is your personal life journey..this is hers. And another thing....she just asked a freakn question, she didnt even say if she was the one doing this or if in deed she was going through with this. No one is perfect , lets give our SUPPORT... if u dont like it it MOVE AROUND......

Caneib22 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

How very sad this is even an option. We are all excited to have our baby and then ...so you find out the baby isn't perfect... Killing your living little baby in your womb should be a crime. Just as terminating the life of a down syndrom child outside of the womb is a crime... so is this. Sad.

Sarah Stanbary |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

You never know what life will hand you. Some apparently normal children display signs of autism or congenital illness months or years after birth. My husband could develop ALS or be paralyzed in a car accident. My parents could get Alzheimers. All these situations would be so hard on me I don't know how I would handle it but for the grace of God, but terminating these people clearly wouldn't be an option. Lets try to keep life in perspective.

titania9 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

This post is about whether it is possible, not what your opinion is - whther it's right or wrong. The post should be left open for discussion on the topic, not for you folks to get up on your soapboxes. I find all of your posts judgemental and cruel to someone struggling with a difficult decision.

shaneyzion1 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

It depends on the state that you live in. Many states will not do terminations after 22-23 weeks. From 13-20 wks (I believe), you have a D&C, which is like a D&C. After that time period you will have to be induced. Although if you react badly to the medication that they give you prior to the D&E, you can go into labor anyway. If you are not considered high -risk, or AMA, many Dr.'s will not give testing prior to an amnio. A CVS can be done earlier, by only up until the 13th week. Furthermore, you must have a *specialist* who has training to get this procedure done. This is a very difficult situation that I would not wish on anyone. I am glad that women have a choice in this country and I agree that unless you have been through something like this, you need to keep it to yourself. Every family will make the best decision for them and either way it is a hard one.

madlady |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I would like to thank all the contributors who took the time to post just to express their anger, disgust, disdain, and self-righteous condemnation toward people with a pro-life opinion, who hoped to influence woman whose child's live was hanging the balance. Thank you for reminding us that we are not allowed to have an opinion which differs from yours, that late-term abortion is simply a "path to be chosen in life" and that defending the unborn is unforgivably, unequivocally, JUDGMENTAL. It is just so refreshing to hear from those of you so clearly free from judgmental hostility!

titania9 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

i'm very discusted at the people who thought they could pass judgement on someones life when they have no idea about that persons life!!! i'm actually in the boat right now of my baby may have DS and I would not abort because of this but I do NOT judge those who can not handle it!!! I thought this board was about giving advise to other mom's out there in a possitive and open way and in no way was this board open and giving or respectful in any way!!!

jahern82 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Excellent question. I do believe it is possible that early. It's your choice and I support you!

saratrease |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

While I disagree with terminating the pregnancy, I do agree it's your decision. Just don't dilute yourself into believing that you're doing it unselfishly - and that it's all about the life the child will have. My husband's aunt had down syndrome and lived an incredibly wonderful life, and while it was hard for my husband's grandmother - she spent every day of her life making her daughter happy - and did so completely unselfishly. Every Christmas was about her - even the year she passed away at 46. Not once did I ever hear a single complaint from anyone - not even my husband's grandma - about the financial struggles, how hard it was to raise her (and she did so as a single parent!). So far all I've seen are posts about how hard it is on the parents and the struggles they go through - all children go through struggles for various reasons - a lot of them grow up without friends, without becoming rich or famous. One of the hardest things I've ever been through is having my parents make decisions about me because of what "other people" would think of them - something I hope to never do to my children. Don't try to tell anyone that you're doing it only for the child - because they're lives will be so hard, and it's so unfair for them - because they can grown up with perfectly wonderful lives if they have the love and patience and caring they so deserve. Do it knowing that you're doing it selfishly - because of how YOU feel about them - what YOU will have to go through. Read some posts - read through the projections and see the real reasons people do this.

teelaman |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

First, let me tell you that I worked for years in social services, so I've seen this from two different angles... I have a nephew who has down's syndrome and it just kills me to hear his younger siblings say things like "you love him more than us" to my SIL. The fact is that their mom is overwhelmed but unwilling to ask for/accept help and as a result, my other niece and nephew are suffering some emotional neglect. The whole family was expecting a huggy marshmallow child because that's all you ever read about with a quick Google search. But my nephew is not high functioning, spits and has been known to attack baby cousins who take the spotlight. I'm over 35 and given what I've experienced, you're darn right I'll give termination a long, hard think after getting tested.

Elpresto |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Ending a life should never be a choice anyone makes - it is murder no mater how you look at it. How could you even consider murdering your child?? This is a despicable post and anyone thinking about murdering their child does not deserve to have any children.

carliefoster |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

The question was if you could, not if you should. Your personal opinions weren't asked for. The answer is yes it is possible and yes it is legal until 26 weeks (In Florida anyway) end of the story. Everyone has their own values on abortion and most likely, half of the people that are condemning it have never been in this situation and cannot possibly imagine what they would do if they were in it. I personally think that I would not abort, but I would never challenge someone elses descision to. Keep your opinions to yourself unless they are solicited

Jsolivan |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Yes, but why would you want to do that? No baby is a burden. My best friend has a little sister who is downs, and she is a little angel. That child might be the biggest blessing you've ever received. Keep it. (:

mommajackson |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I watched a family very close to me go through raising a child with severe cerebral palsy. He eventually died at the age of 27 after what I would consider hellacious medical problems and a slow death. I'm now married and became pregnant and miscarried a week later. When I told this family's mother (whom I'm the closest to) that I had miscarried she cried with me but said that this more than likely happened early because of a chromosomal abnormaility (which the Dr also suggested). The first thing she said was that she was worried that something would be wrong with the baby and she would never want me to have to go through raising a child with special needs. While she loved her son more than anything and I grew up with him as though he was a brother to me, it was very hard to see him suffer and see the family strained. Now given the choice I don't know what I would do but it's nice to know that I live in a country free to choose for myself where no one elses opinions matter but my own. So screw everyone else and their one-sided opinions do what is right for you!

vlewis515 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I seriously wonder sometimes if the 'questions' being answered aren't just 'plants' from the board to keep people posting over and over again to sell advertising.

mahnamahna |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Not always are the down syndrome testing correct, they told my sister AND my best friend that their son's would have down syndrome. NEITHER ONE OF THEM ACTUALLY HAVE IT! I think this is a VERY disturbing question. I'm 26 weeks, and would NEVER terminate my pregnancy if they told me my son would have downs. I elected NOT to have the test just because I'm going to love my son no matter what! That's a mother's job... to love her son/daughter no matter what.

SRobinson710 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

When my fiancee and I found out we were expecting, this topic was brought up. We both decided to terminate the pregnancy if test results confirmed our baby would be born with DS. We're in agreement that it would be too much of a burden on our child's life. Not being able to live independently and having to place that child in a home eventually, breaks my heart. Although I do agree that everyone deserves a chance at life, a mentally disabled child will not be able to benefit from what life has to offer. I understand that everyone has their own opinions, but that does not mean just because someone decides to terminate is selfish. If you know in your heart that it would be impossible for you to care for a child with special needs, why make the child suffer? I, myself, have seen first hand how hard it is to live with and handle a child with mental disabilities and it is not easy. It puts a major strain on all who are involved. It is a tough decision to make but as a soon-to-be mother and one with experience living with a child with mental disabilities, I do not think it is wrong to decide to do what you feel would be the right thing for your child.

Mommi2Be143 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I agree that it is your decision, but I work in the social service field in mental health and have worked with developmental disabilities. First-downs is NOT mental retardation, and unfortunately there are many things ALL of our babies could have wrong with them that is NOT diagnoseable by amnio--mental illness is FAR more stigmatized than downs in my opinion and you can't see that nor diagnose it in utero. There are many many many caring, loving social service agencies that care for people with disabilities, giving people a much better life than they EVER wouuld have had in the past. The world has come a long way and it breaks my heart to think that we are given the option to find this out which is why i opted NOT to have the testing. I understand some people to not feel the same way as me which is why we are given the choice.

josie_24 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I think most of the responses you have recieved to your question have been entirely insesitive! You didn't ask if people thought it was right, just whether it can be done. While I personally would not choose to terminate a pregnancy for that reason, it would not be my place to judge you for the decision you would make. As a School Psychologist, I have experience in working with children with many different disabilities and their families. This gives me a level of comfort in knowing I could handle whatever God throws at me, but it also gives me the knowledge that some parents are just not cut out to raise kids with severe developmental or medical problems. I'm sure you would not make the decision to terminate lightly, and only you can make that choice for yourself! Please remember, though, that Down's is only one of many difficulties your child could suffer from, and you should try to prepare yourself for the possibility you could have a child with disabiltiies, even if it doesn't have Down's. It was for that reason my husband and I decided not to even test for Down's. Tehre are so many other things you can't even test for, we have just made a point to have meaningful conversations about how we would handle a child with difficulties, if that is what we are blessed with. I hope it is a decision you do not have to make!

walkerkeli |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

we are being faced with this very real dilema, and it is so difficult to talk about within anyone.My wife and I are going for further tests following the distressing news today that we have a 1 in 15 chance, every though goes through your head , you search for answers adn only get more questions. From what i have read on this post there are far too many back seat drivers, i would dare comment on issues i had no 1st hand experience of ( including I am a teacher etc) , only the opinion people who know what its like when everyone else has gone home and you and your partner are left holds any water with me.

dadupnorth |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I'm shocked by the closed minded answers on this post. No matter where you stand on the issue it is a hard decision, but to ridicule someone's personal belief system is not helpful either way. We women are all in this (child bearing) together and look to each other for support. Not everyone has the mental, spiritual and financial resources to care for a special needs child.

izzyschrades |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Have the baby and put it up for adoption. There are plenty of people who would love to take that "burden" off your hands and love that child unconditionally. This has nothing to do with knowing first-hand, or walking in someone's shoes... it's common sense. There are people on this site who are trying to conceive and you are talking about killing your baby because it's not perfect. You don't deserve that kid - give it to someone who will love it.

lisacronin91 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I love how so many on here are saying that its unfair to place that burden on a child. That child doesnt see it as a burden, you do. That child will love you unconditionally, which is more than can be said about you. What if a child suffers an injury that makes him or her handicap growing up? Would you kill the child then if it was legal?? May sound like a sick question, but its the same thing! I am almost 19 weeks now and as exhausting as it may be to have a child with a disability, its my child and its a BLESSING all the same. Too many people forget that.

tiffletons518 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

BEWARE!! I do not want to argue with anyone. I just wanted to warn all you mothers out there who have their babies test positive for DS. I had 6 different friends who all tested positive for DS and all 6 gave birth to normal, healthy babies. The DS test result are the most inaccurate. There are always many false positives. That being said, I refused the test. I don't need the added stress. I can't help but love my baby, b/c it is a part of me. I would also like to say that I agree with the person who suggested adoption. My husband and I would like to adopt a child with down syndrome after we have a couple of our own.

rebekahhamilton |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

oh my god... i can't believe most of you people... we do not know the circumstances behind this question... maybe the woman is doing this for the child's sake and not for herself at all... AND (by the way) ... it is a personal choice that no one should have a say in besides the couple who created the baby...you should all be ashamed of yourselves for judging so callously

lboers |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Theres no way anyone should judge who hasnt been put in those shoes before. I also find it interesting that no one mentioned the fact that 9 out of 10 women choose to abort after getting a DS diagnosis. By no means am I saying this makes it 'right' - but this is further evidence that you dont know how you would feel until you are placed in the situation - so why judge?

MrsEmm |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I personally chose not to do any of the testing so that I didn't have to face a decision like this. I'd like to think I would choose not to terminate but can I say for sure that I would make that choice, no. I feel for anyone that has to face choices like this, either way you choose it's going to be hard and you personally have to be prepared for, and deal with, that choice. The question was is it possible not is it right or wrong.

kvfalls |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I can't believe you would even consider terminating your innocent helpless baby because it has DS! You know why this post really bothers me?? Because I knew someone who was told a long time ago that their baby will possibly have DS and it turns out they were wrong! That baby got older and was perfectly fine.

melissas21 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I'm not trying to judge anyone, but that is so disturbing to me as well. Not only is this and every baby a gift from God, but also those test aren't always accurate. I had a friend whose baby also tested positive for downs. She is now almost three, born perfectly normal, with no downs, and perfectly healthy. She is really intelligent to boot! So hang in there and just consider this baby a blessing either way!

app0616 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

i too am disturbed. but, i cant say whether ur decision is right or wrong as it is not my decision to make. having suffered a miscarriage already, im constantly worried about my current pregnancy. i personally dont think i would terminate. but, i havent been in that position so im sure i might reconsider if i was. i think that u should make the decision that you feel is right. its your decision and yours alone. good luck and i hope that you will have peace with YOUR decision. dont listen to all the women who say these hurtful things to you. maybe they should put themselves in your positiion before judging you. have faith, everything will turn out the way it should in the end.

missmariah87 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

This is the hardest thing to go though. I just found out that my child his Ds and Im so scared that i wont beable to live with the decision to end this pregency. You people out there should not judge until something like this happens to you. Im scared to death.

mollykate68 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Every single person passing judgment should be ashamed. We have a choice. How can you say such hateful things? Live your own life and don't respond unless you can be supportive. These awful replies are more "disgusting" and "disturbing" than the original question.

caseymm |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I know this is a sensitive topic, but I want to make something clear. This is NOT about the "pro-life/pro-choice" debate. That debate is about the ethical nature of abortion itself. This topic is different. I am pro-choice. If a woman wants/needs an abortion, it should be available to her in a safe manner. HOWEVER, choosing an abortion because a child has DS is the same as euthanasia, a practice made infamous by Nazi Germany. When you decide the only reason to have an abortion is because you feel the child is not worthy of life, or will not have a high enough quality of life, you are practicing euthanasia. The Nazis did it, and we used to do it to certain minorities, like African Americans and Native Americans. Thank God we realized how horrifically unethical it is for us to judge a group of people based on unfounded beliefs. Unfortunately, Down syndrome individuals have yet to be able to obtain the same basic civil rights as the rest of Americans, and we still see this as an acceptable practice. I am not saying that abortion is unethical, THAT IS A SEPARATE DEBATE! I'm saying to judge someone unworthy of life based on the group that they belong to is unethical and immoral.

openarmmassage |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

This is a very sensitive topic and a very personal one too. I just experienced it first hand with the pregnancy of my second child. At sixteen weeks my triple screen came back abnormal. Then my amino came back positive for Down Syndrome. We were extremely devastated to say the least, but decided we could not end our child's life. Then we got news that she "may" have Hydrocephalus. With that news we decided that we would terminate if it was "verified" to be true. That decision was based on the quality of life we felt our child would have. Thankfully, with further ultra sound etc... She did not have it. It was confirmed for us. Our daughter was born October 2009, with Down Syndrome. She is a beautiful little baby that acts, plays and loves just like a child without a disability. I sometimes forget that she has DS. Personally, I feel that if a medical confirmation was deemed that the child would suffer somehow and have a poor quality of life (Unable to communicate, move, eat, be educated ) then I am all for termination. However, who can guarantee that beyond a reason of doubt? We had know idea of how severe or mild our daughter's cognitive abilities would be. It was unknown --- And the unknown is very, very scary. We knew we would just try our hardest to give her the best life possible and to love her. It is all really a individuals view of life - literally. If you have a wonderful outlook on things then you will choose the positive. If faced with the unknown and a confirmed negative outcome you have the choice. Our outcome just happened to be a beautiful baby that I see to be no different then anyone else. We were lucky I guess. We all love her so much, but the decisions we made when we got the initial news was the most heartbreaking and difficult decisions we have ever made in our whole entire lives. I

tammy2070 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Just remember a child is a blessing and a gift from God. God will never give anyone more than they can handle. You were choosen by God to be the baby's parent for a reason. Only God knows that reason so just remember there is only one God and it's not You or Me. So, we must understand that noone can play God except God.

amywamey |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Yes, termination is still possible at 19-20 weeks as Dr. Roman noted in her May 2009 post. My husband and I made an incredibly difficult decision to terminate at 14 weeks after our fetus was diagnosed with DS. We had already agreed on this very early on, because we did not feel we had the capacity to cope with a DS child who might have been as severely disabled as my cousin. As some people have pointed out, this is very difficult for other siblings -- my cousin's older brother committed suicide due to the emotional neglect he felt growing up. Going through the abortion was horrible, but we don't regret our decision and view it more as an "induced miscarriage". We are grateful for all the support we received from our family and friends. Thankfully it did not take more than a few months for me to become pregnant again. To everyone who might disagree with my husband's and my actions: please consider a life of tolerance and try to understand we all live different lives and want the best for our children and -- lest we not forget -- our childrens' children.

mdbee28 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

You should be ashamed.

cheerkri |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I Have a close friend who was told her baby was goin' to be born disabled, she didnt terminat AND HER BABY WAS BORN PERFECTLY HEALTHY

bamnsonnie |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I personally know TWO women who were told they were going to have babies with Down Syndrome....guess what? The babies were born totally healthy, fine, and NO trace of DS. Could you imagine the guilt someone would have to live with who may have aborted and the child DIDNT have DS? But then again...im sure the Dr's wouldnt tell you even IF the baby was fine after u aborted. I personally feel murder is wrong...fetus, child, or adult

lilmiznv |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

To mdbee28, my heart goes out to you. I could not imagine having to face this difficult choice and I give you credit for being willing to share your story. I wish you all the best with your current pregnacy. To cheerkri, you should be ashamed for pointing fingers at someone willing to share their difficult choice with others. Weither or not you agree with it, this entire topic was starting to help educate all of us on what our options are. I don't think ANYONE can really say what they would choose to do until they are really faced with the positive results, and we all have different experiences with friends or family with disabilities that will effect our own decision. No matter what we believe, carrying a baby for 9 months and raising children is hard and we should be able to turn to this site for information, advice and support from fellow visitors to pregnancy land. I wish you all the best! To quote someone else early on that I believe said it best: Thanks goodness we live in a country where we have a choice in the matter! Everyone has a different threshold of what they can emotionally & physically take. Caring for a disabled child is very, very difficult. I give credit to those who realize this is beyond their capacity and terminate. I also give credit to those who give care & love to these babies, children and adults whether it be the parents or when, often as they get bigger, they need to be put in a special home.

JulietBair |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Ladies, this is simply a question. I hardly think this is the place to judge or accuse. The question was not "what are your personal thoughts on termination?" The post was from another woman who was requesting information, and I think we need to do our best to help and support each other. One line judgments are not helpful. Goodness.

kristi242 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Wow. I don't know if I'm more troubled by the sheer volume of negative responses to this question or the fact that all of the women who wrote them are either trying to conceive, pregnant, or already parents. Just what the world needs: more ignorant, intolerant, judgmental, and self-righteous people running around. Here's a novel idea, ladies: instead of hopping up on your soap boxes to loudly proclaim your moral righteousness, why not consider an actual answer to the question? Then, when you realize that-- whoops!-- you don't actually have anything relevant, let alone remotely helpful to say, you can save your breath and spare us all your hurtful, unwarranted comments and find something productive to do with your time and effort. And as for the woman who originally posted this question, as I've never had the misfortune of being in your incredibly difficult situation, the only thing I can say is that I sincerely hope that the road to your final decision isn't as fraught with intolerance as this ridiculous message board. Good luck to you. Wanted to repost this, well said! Good luck to the woman who asked this question. Hope all is well.

kristi242 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

This is a horrible post! This website is supposed to be about LIFE! It is especially sad when so many people would LOVE this child, if the child was only given the chance to live. Who are we to pass judgment on whether someone's life is worth living, because they aren't our picture of perfection. That is the real closed mindedness. I hope that these mothers that find themselves faced with the challenging situation of having a DS baby realize that these are PEOPLE too! If you are too overwhelmed, look into adoption!

translancerg |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I was told that even with a positive test for down syndrome, it could be a false-positive and the baby could be born perfectly normal. I am saddened by reading this question to be honest with you.

LovinMyMarine423 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I'm pretty upset that my child is going to have to grow up with kids brought up by some of you. Hopefully the tolerance and common sense I teach mine will rub off on yours =) I really hope the original question poster has a happy, healthy almost-2yo, but if not, I couldn't imagine judging her for it.

sm59603 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

This is very personal decision and not one people should be judged for... everyone has a right to determine what they can or cannot deal with - after all, the parents are the ones that have to live with this decision - not the righteous, judgemental critics that have to raise a child with those challenges.

jemmalili |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Why be willing to get pregnant if you may possibly terminate the pregnancy when there are so many people that can't get pregnant or that have difficulties with getting pregnant. They would be happy to have a DS baby...JS-just sayin

catherinebiorn |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I opted against the test. Why make myself worry the rest of the pregnancy? I simply told my doctor, "No, thank you". And I am in the category of parents with a high percentage of DS.

madsmom97 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I like how people are saying they can't justify bringing a child into that situation..HEY! guess what! You already did that when you got pregnant. Maybe you should not get pregnant, the baby may end up with epilepsy (like my sister) or an ovarian deformity (like ME) and then that would just be horribly unfair for you to have the struggle of trying to raise such a difficult person. Maybe someone should ask the children who has problems if they would have preferred if they'd been "terminated", and explain to them that their parents wouldn't have done it because they weren't loved. Its just because they are making life too difficult. And in case anyone was wondering, the earliest a baby has been born and survived was 22 weeks. So 'terminating' may not be the right word....maybe you can try 'murdering' or 'killing'. i think those cover it a little better.

meagananddevin |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I just had my blood tests today and will not have the results for a few days. I am just terrified either way. I am not high right, but downs syndrome is very random. I almost wish the tests were not offered to me because the chance of a false positive is higher than the likelihood of an actual positive result. I would not end the pregnancy based solely on this test, more testing would be needed for me to make that decision, but I do feel that I am lucky to have the choice if there is a problem. I do not feel that my family could provide the care a special needs child would deserve

bustysinclare |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I have no opinion on terminating b/c there ia a choice for a reason and god gave humans free will so he left us a choice as well. But for everyone who says that people with disabilities burden society you all need to get your facts straight. There is a genetic disease that tore apart my mother's family called huntington's it can be found through the same genetic testing as DS but it's a direct herdity disease my mother does not have it. Therefore I and my siblings do not have it nor will me children. But 1/2 of her siblings and her mother did have it. My mother devoted her life to care for people with mental and physical disabilities I myself volunteer but never wanted to make it my life as she did. But my point is I grew up in a society dedicated to people with disabilities there are many people who make a living not just pay into this world. And they love their jobs most of them and would be lost w/o a job that gives their whole life meaning. My mother and her friends do everything from fostering to respite to just taking them off of their caregivers hands for a few hours. She has worked every job from cleaning their houses and showering and feeding them to raising them with her own children. And she loved her life it was never a burden. I am not judging the choice to terminate but don't tell me that the parents are the selfish ones who have these children and raise them and that their siblings are being burdened w/o consent until you've lived in a family who is smack in the middle of that world you don't know what you are talking about either. So the judgement goes both ways here and it shouldn't go either.

Breerene |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I am 14w today and since I'm 30 I don't automatically have an elevated risk for DS but I know my husband and I would not do well with a disabled child. Although you never know who your child will be until it's born, these screening tests do a fairly good job of providing information to the expectant parents and if we find out it's a DS baby (or trisomy 18, which is fatal), we will be terminating. I'm not going to get into a religious argument with you guys but I know it would be the right choice for us. I don't want to be raising a mentally disabled child for 50+ yrs.

OhNoMongo |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

If this is a moral question I suggest meeting with a minister of your faith. If you are not a church-goer I recommend speaking with a psychologist for a view of the mental consequences of termination. Yourself and your partner may be facing a pretty serious loss and it makes sense to talk to a professional about it. If this is a medical question you need to talk to your doctor. Everyone here can offer their opinion on the moral issue or point you to statistics - but no one here has your medical history and knows exactly the risks you will face. For my own two cents: I urge you to consider that Down syndrom has a spectrum of effects from mild to severe. Surely you agree that someone who is only mildly disabled can still have a wonderful quality of life? My other thought would be, what if the test is wrong? Could you live with the termination of a healthy child? Are you prepared to accept haunting doubt? Is your partner? What if you can't get pregnant again and this one baby is your only chance to be a parent? Good luck, you have some tough days ahead of you. God Bless - JB

Goldabraun |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

We are pregnant with ICSI twins. And one baby has a nuchal fold of 6mm which is highly suggestive of a trisomy (commonly Downs) or congenital abnormality. We were offered amnio but turned it down due to high risk of miscarriage (5% with twins) and also because we wouldn't ever terminate a gift from God which we prayed and yearned for so strongly :-)

dancinginthemist |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I believe that if you believe that you won't be able to support a baby with Down syndrome then you can choose adoption bc there are families who can and want to. I don't know about all other states but in NY there are a lot of supports and services available to support people living with developmental disabilities and they can and do live fulfilling and meaningful lives. Every state has Early Intervention programs as it is a federal funding program. As each person on this planet is unique and has special gifts and talent that is the same for people with developmental disabilities and Down syndrome is different for each person some people have more challenges than others but that is true of each and everyone of us. It really saddens my heart that people are not educated about this "disability" and would choose to kill their child over it. There are much much worse things in life. Would you kill your child after he/she was born if you discovered that they were just a bit different than others? that is your baby in your belly in and out of you belly. Maybe the question really is are you going to be able handle the comments and judgment and challenges because a loved child can. Every parent gets judged and will experience challenges it is a nature part of the journey.

sunpearl10900 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I am having my DS test done in a couple weeks, and i also would terminate. I have a cousin with Downs and it is hard on a family my aunt can't pay attention to anyone else in her family, she has other kids adn they are completely left out because David needs constant care and attention. As for adopting out a child with downs is nice but unrealistic. People want happy healthy babies when they adopt. All your doing is asking a child to endure something they would never truly understand. i dont neccessarily believe in abortion for other purposes such as a birth control method but it is my decision and someone else's as well to decide what is best for them adn their family, especially financially. I know i personally could not afford to care for a child with Downs. They have so many special needs, and if i can not provide that for them then that is my choice

apachekitten |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

My husband and I are not having any of the extra tests done because we feel that no matter if anything is wrong with our baby we will get through it. We would never terminate a pregnancy for any reason and feel babies from the moment of conception are a gift from God no matter what.

woollypetals |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I'm new to this site and am just starting to check out the message boards. The original poster is asking a legitimate medical question with a fairly straight-forward answer ... she was not asking for people's moral opinions on abortion. I bet she'll think twice before asking any other medical questions on here. I know I will.

Amy0421 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Many people have to remember that these tests aren't always 100% accurate.. My Dr. even told me that when she asked if I wanted any of these tests done. I told her I personally didn't want any of them done bc when the time came if something was wrong with the baby we would deal with it then

jbyriel |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

for those of you who think that the original poster should have this baby and give it to you, please contact your local state-run adoption agency. they have plenty of children with disabilities of varying severity. most of those children were given up for adoption because their parents didn't want to terminate the pregnancy but couldn't handle parenting a special needs child. in my opinion, abandoning and infant who probably *won't* be adopted is far worse than terminating the pregnancy. this is a decision that is between a woman and her doctor. the question concerns medical and legal possibility, not moral implications. my husband and I chose to not have any of this testing done because we know we would carry the pregnancy to term. this is our personal choice. it is possible to make one decision for yourself and know that other decisions are better for other people.

nirbhao |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

my sister works in a foster care system. she sent me this video: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-306211141837494846#

nirbhao |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

My best friend got pregnant when she was 19 and they were doing routine U/S and saw that the baby was not right they started to testing and found out that the baby had severe D/S and several other health problems by the time she was 6 months pregnant the specialist told her that they were not sure if the baby would make it to term and if she did then she would die within seconds of being born so sadly she decided to terminate her baby girl at 6 1/2 months pregnant and it was the hardest decision in that she has ever made so please before you start yelling at others on what they would do could you imagine being pregnant for 9 months feeling that child inside of you every day kicking and playing then finally have him/her and she die went as it came out....I could not do it and I doubt many of you could either most D/S child have other serious health conditions that sometimes they just will not live very long and then others are health as a horse so stop and think before you start passing judgment

mama4l |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Have you never considered a third option? Adoption. There are so many people who are prepared to raise a mentally handicapped child and desperately want to adopt! Every child is a gift - if not a gift meant for you, then intended for someone else. There's no reason in the world to terminate when you can surrender your rights to a child immediately after birth giving someone else the chance to be a parent. Shame for choosing death over life!

LBuffalo |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

So sad to think that anyone would take a life because of an inconvenience. Not to mention there are so many false positives on these types of tests that someone who chooses to terminate based on the results could ultimately be terminating a perfectly healthy baby?

sastaton |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I'll agree with LBuffalo! It's way upsetting to me that someone would consider terminating their pregnancy when there are THOUSANDS of people looking to adopt!

HisChamie88 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Shame on all of you for being so damn judgmental. Keeping a baby with DS is YOUR choice just as it would be HERS to terminate. It is ANYONE'S own personal choice on whether or not to bring a child into this world with DS and NO ONE should judge ANYONE on the decision THEY make. It seems that quite a few of you have some growing up to do. It seems this question was posted a few years ago, so to the women that are wondering about this, the choice is yours and depending on the states law, you can terminate the pregnancy if it is your choice. You have to decide what is best for you and your family, and nothing else matters. Good luck with your decision.

prgandlvingit |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

This question is very disturbing. If you are willing to have sex & risk getting pregnant, then you run the risks of having problems either with the baby, yourself or the pregnancy. Not everything turns out the way we want it, but that is no reason to be selfish & basically kill your baby because you aren't satisfied with perfect results. I am 25 weeks pregnant with my second son & at no point in either of the pregnancies was termintation or adoption ever thought of. I knew the risks of having sex & I faced the fact that I got pregnant & fell in love with the baby instantly. Then again I consider terminating any pregnancy murder because in reality it is. I hope you make the right choice for the baby's sake. DS or not that baby loves you & is alive inside of you.=/

blakekelly |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I actually work in a group home and work every day with people that range from high functioning (what downs usually is) to low non verbal, my residents also have mental health disorders. I know there is know way i could live with myself aborting because of one of these disorders. I understand that there are people that feel that they would not be able to handle a baby/child/adult with these problems and i used to be one of them. But i have never had such joy in my life as working with develepmentally delayed people (esp children). And though it is everyone's right to do what they believe is the best thing. It comes down to the fact that you wanted a child but in your head you pictured one that had nothing wrong with it (like i also do) but we should not be throwing lives away because of it. And though i see and know the stress and hardship people deal with when living with a handicapped person this is still a selfish decision. Downs produces high functioning individuals that if put in great programs can live on their own with help from case managers. These are not low functioning non verbal children that will need to be changed and lifted into beds the rest of their lives.

gusjaim |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

God gave us all free will and we can do with it as we please. It may not be the most popular idea, but its yours to live with. My only concern is that your risk of having a child with autism is much greater than the risk of down syndrome. So your child may be born healthy, but later on develop autism and now your "stuck" raising a child with a disability.

christel811 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

To those of you who have never been in the situation yourselves, you have NO RIGHT to pass any judgment. You have NO IDEA what you would do unless it happens to you. You may think you know, but you don't.

castein410 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

where i live, testing for down syndrome is standard in the 2nd trimester. i could never abort my baby if I knew he was going to have down syndrome. The ONLY reason I even think i may want to know ahead of time is to learn about it more, and educate myself ahead of time about what lies ahead in his future. Im actually thinking of REFUSING the testing that is scheduled for me in 3 weeks (blood taken and ultrasound testing). I dont want to possibly be put in the position of being pressured to terminate by anyone if it were to turn out that something is wrong. There is always a possibility that the testing could be wrong anyways. My neice was born perfectly healthy and nothing wrong, after they told her mother that she was going to have Downs. They wanted to do do the amnio testing on her, but she refused to do it. the baby was born perfectly healthy. there is always the possibility of error...

EMSHeatherp |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Such a sensitive and emotional topic with a wide range of opinions. I pray for everyone who has to deal with this issue all the best. I won't judge others for something I am not experiencing, when it seems this is the only way in this case to truly understand.

Bluescarf |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

This is such a touchy subject to ask in a public forum with so many ppl here who struggled to even get preg with their children, however I feel this is a decision to be made within the family. A child with DS becomes not just an 18 year responsibility, but one of a lifetime, I personally don't know which route I would chose to go, I just had my FT test and was told that I would not be having a DS baby, but my family and I discussed it and my husband would have prefered termination and my family would have supported it, but would aslo have supported the birth, but I don't know if I could have handled that situation. I have a highh functioning Autistic & ADHD 5 y/o at home already, who is my blessing, and that being said, I can't judge or even think of what I would have done had I been facing that choice. I am just thankful that I am not. And I hope that when you get your results you are not either. I also do not think it is right or fair of people for judging someone for knowing what their limitations are. If they were not able to care for that child, they would be placed in a center, never to be adopted by a loving family, never to know the true comforts of home or having those that love you unconditionally.

rosemaryz |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

This question is truly disturbing and the MOST disturbing part is having the termination at 19 weeks! Imagine my surprise when at 10 weeks our little baby looked just like a human, jumping around inside my belly! And at 12 weeks he/she was already sucking his/her thumb! The baby is so developed by 19 weeks and has only a few weeks to go before they can make it outside the womb. There is always adoption if you don't feel like you can deal with an unperfect child! The way I see it is that you are only dealt what you can handle and you won't have a DS child if it wasn't something that would make you a better person.

MayBird |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I personally find the decision to terminate the baby to also be very disturbing. My husband best friend and his wife had the quad testing down and the results came back stating the baby was going to have down syndrome, and when she was born she did not have down syndrome and is now 7 years old and does not have down syndrome. My husband and I choose not to have the quad testing down because we will love our baby no matter how the baby comes because the baby is a gift from God and a representation of our love.

ruela013 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Terminating a pregnancy is just selfish and disgusting. Just the though makes me want to vomit. I'd like all the people who terminate a pregnancy to be terminated themselves. There would be a whole lot less of this ridiculousness going on. That child could be the next legendary human being of their time, and you'd never know because that child never got a fair chance to live. If it is not the child's decision to live, the person who makes a decision to kill their child should not be given a chance to live either.

yugogrl2000 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Thankfully in this world we all have personal beliefs and decisions. What is right for you may not be right for everyone. I feel sorry for this person who is struggling with such a decision. Shame on us for judging when we should be giving this person support in making the right decision for HER. Maybe she isn't as strong or brave as you are! I have no idea what I would do in that situation, but I would want to have all the possible options available to me.

sarahryan23 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

This is a very personal decision to be made and it's not fair to judge anyone who is face with making the decision. It's still a relevant topic at more than 3 years after the original post! I personally feel that one should not become a parent to a child they are not ready to take care of. But, for anyone who is considering this, the amnio and the CVS (which can be performed weeks earlier) are true genetics test--testing directly at the chromosomal level. If you are truly considering a termination, these are the only tests that will accurately guide you through your decision.

luv2eat42 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I had a daughter born with down syndrome on July 6 2010 and cannot imagine my life without her. I love her exactly how she is. She is so much fun and constantly has a smile on her face. She is already a very loving mommy's girl and is sleeping on my chest with her head nuzzled in my neck as I type. It literally makes me sick to my stomach to think of someone killing their baby who would love to smile at them and snuggle them just because they aren't perfect. Yes, it's hard. Yes, sometimes I wish she was born typical. But no, I would not trade her for ANYTHING now that I have her. God gave her to me for a reason and she is my pride and joy.

ARestivo |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

wow to anyone who says this is a disgusting & disturbing question needs to get out their little bubble of kittens & rainbows. the fact is, a child with down syndrome, is just that.. a child for the rest of it's life. are you willing to sacrifice your life, your other children, your marriage, etc and take care of this child until you or the child dies? because that's the kind of life you're going to be giving you and your family. I know for a fact, that I could not handle that nor would I want to put that on anyone in my family. having a child is trying on a marriage to begin with, add a child with special needs like that, you're putting even your marriage at risk. no one has the right to judge this girl who would obviously be faced with a very difficult decision. Like I said, I would terminate my pregnancy if the child had DS but it would be the most difficult & painful decision I would ever have to face.

3PupsAndABaby |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I cant believe this is even a question. My boyfriends sister has down syndrome and she is just like everyone else! She just needs a little help here and there but she is extremely smart and she makes us laugh! I couldnt imagine her not being around, the family would NOT be the same!

Allyson385 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I'm completely appalled at some of the comments here. Would you rather a child have a less than full life because the parents may not be able to handle a downs baby? At least if they would decide to terminate, they made the decision before baby was here. Unless you're in the situation you cannot say what you would do 100%. I'm almost 18 weeks along, and if my baby had something majorly wrong, I'm sad to say and it would NOT be easy, but I would terminate. I personally could not handle having a child with massive complications. At least I know that about myself.. And to those of you who are going to say 'well then you should not be having kids' DONT JUDGE OTHERS!! Every person is capable of different things, at least some people know what their limitations are. And just for the record, I'm a GREAT mom to a beautiful 7 year old girl. I'm just saying.. termination due to downs is no different than abortion. Which is LEGAL. Don't get me wrong, Im pro life, but i believe there are certain circumstances which change things.

angsetts |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I am just incredulous at some of the judgement being passed on this woman. It's a personal choice - a deeply personal choice about what is right for your family. Get off your high-horses, and get back to reality, if that's even still an option for you.

nikintheheart |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I am pro choice, each individual woman's choice. It would take a lot of courage to make the decision to terminate a pregnancy this far along. I think this forum should be for support, not for judging others.

bfasenmy |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I have been in the position to have to make a choice about termination. I found out at 11 weeks that my baby had downs syndrome as well as a nuchal translucency fluid level of 9, which is off the charts bad. I was fortunate to have had earlier tests through U/S and CVS rather than needing to wait for amniocentesis. My spouse and I researched our baby's condition for a month and spoke with family, friends and clergy prior to making our decision. We chose to terminate the pregnancy at 15 weeks as there was no chance of the baby surviving to term with the information we were given through the testing and all of our research. Terming was very difficult, but the thought of continuing a pregnancy for another 5 months to deliver a stillborn seemed even more difficult. We have a daughter that we also did not want to have to go through the pregnancy having people congratulating her on going to be a big sister only to know it was never going to happen. She never knew I was pregnant and can't imagine how hard it would have been for her to have to go through an inevitable death. Never in my life did I ever think I would consider terming a pregnancy, but here I am to say that I did it. Each situation presented is different and the options to continue a pregnancy are not always black and white...it is a personal decision. Take the information you are given and gather as much more accurate information as you can...lean on those that you know you can trust and ignore those that are ignorant. I am sorry for anyone that is ever put in this position to have to make a horrible decision to which there seems to be no good outcome, It is life changing in every aspect no matter what you decide. I can honestly say after going through this, that you REALLY DO NOT KNOW what you would decide unless you are put in that position...no matter what you think you may do hypothetically...it is not that same as reality.

polkadot05 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Please anyone with a positive AFP Test, Please Please do the Amnio and make sure that you do all the follow up test to Verify your child in fact is Down Syndrome, before you make any harsh decisions. These AFP Test are very very incorrect.. Your decision is ultimately your choice, Only you can make that call. With that said please think everything through and through. When I went through this same scenario, I had the Amnio and everything turned out negative for Downs. I struggled and struggled with what my decision was going to be. It was the hardest week of my life waiting for the results of that Amnio. It's your life and no one should judge you..

krishelle26 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Hi. Despite other answers about this being a disturbing post...I just want to say that I just had a D&E for termination and if you wanted to talk at all, I'm here. I was almost 18 weeks. Finding it really hard to find forums or other people to talk to about this without people giving their opinions or judging you when really they have no idea how difficult the situation is until they are in it themselves.

Sheila82 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

What is really sad, was those baby's had no chance to live. Parents decided they wanted the easy route and easy life, thinking only of themselves, so that just makes it fine to murder your child. Just because that child has a defect, or may not be perfect what makes him or her less human? So those who have murdered your children over a defect are you saying children with no problems deserve to live and be loved? And children with defects deserve to be murdered? And no child with defect causes family troubles and pain. Its the parents. Parents who rather complain and rant about their poor child, rather then love and cherish their child. That child can not help what is wrong with them, so they need love. But no, out of selfishness MURDER is your answer!

Natacreatedartist |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

A lot of the posts on here are negative and some say give up for adoption but those are probably the same people trying to conceive who havent considered adoption themselves instead they rather spend thousands on infertility treatments, some people have a family member with downs they love, but they havent mentioned taking over caring for that individual when the original caretakers have passed on, others are people who work in the field but work is work, none of them people take those children home. I dont find this post disgusting, God knows how much we can bear and God already knows the decision before we make it. People can believe in God, have faith and love the Lord but still make a decision to abort based on how their family will handle it financially, emotionally, etc. God is love, love and forgiveness so no matter her decision she will be forgiven by the Lord. He's just that amazing. People will call you what they want, but remember God knows your heart and he loves you no matter what. And for the record, DS is a chromosomal issue its not based on anyone's genetics it can happen to anyone. And to answer your question, yes its possible to MEDICALLY TERMINATE based on the diagnosis at 19-20 weeks.

qoso21 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Abortion is stil killing a life of an unborn child. In God's Word, he says "Thou shall not kill" Which means you shall NOT kill. Abortion, termintaion, not matter how fancy words you put it, is still murder. Yes, God forgives, because He is Love, But that goes for true believers only.

Natacreatedartist |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

What I find disgusting is the fact that some people are so quick to judge and assume that what is best for them and their family is best for everyone else. I am 13w pregnant and will be 35 when I deliver. My recent ultrasound didn't show anything to indicate DS, but I am having an amnio anyway. It's not just DS that I am concerned about, it's Spina Bifada and other chromosomal abnormalities. I am not saying that I will terminate if DS is diagnosed, but if I did decide to do so, it would be a difficult choice made for personal reasons, etc. How dare you judge someone for doing what they think is best for them and their family.

rosierazor |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I believe that they have these sorts of tests so that it allows the expected parents to have the option of terminating the pregnancy. I opted not to be tested purely because I would not be able to terminate a pregnacy due to my religious beliefs and my morals but I strongly believe that noone shoudld be riticuled or judged for what they choose.

momma2blindsay |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

this makes me so sad :( i work with children and adults with downs and they are the most incredible people in the world! i'll adopt these downs babies you guys don't want!

varinda54 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I think that peoples choices should be respected. Its a choice the parents alone can make. No one has any say in it. Whatever choices in life we answer to only God, no one else has any right to judge anyone for whatever reason.

Aalmikaz |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

How dare anyone be the judge over the unborn child? How dare you sentence a child to die, because he or she was imperfect and did not fit the bill f what you wanted? That is like saying, because I wanted a red headed girl and I want my blonde baby boy to be killed. SO what if the child has downs are not. Does that make him any less human? Does that mean he should not be loved? How dare you JUDGE that the baby is not worth coming into the world. Believe e. You have not idea who or what that baby is going to become so you have no right to judge and sentence the baby to die.

Natacreatedartist |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

It is amazing to me the number of people out there who presume to judge other people when they have NEVER walked even a step, much less a mile in their shoes. As a parent to a special needs child (not Downs, but equally obvious and judged by the "typical" world), you cannot possibly know what it means to be faced with such a decision. Sure, many of us say "we can never". But I hope none of you will EVER be faced with that decision either. It is a private decision and not yours to make for anyone else but you. 80% of families with a special needs child end in divorce. The financial burden is TREMENDOUS. The emotional burden is 100x the financial burden. Even if you work with disabled people, you don't live with them 24-7, you don't see the nitty gritty of parenting one. Now, I don't regret anything we've done and I would not trade my son for the world, but that's MY choice. Could I have another with this level of need? I think it would crush me and the rest of my family, but I hope for all hope that we are not faced with that decision, because yes, it is one that sometimes needs to be weighed for a multiple good. I can't even fathom making that decision. But anyone who judges another before walking a mile in their shoes should be judged themselves.

KPKoze |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Financial strain, divorce, stress, hardship, etc. Its still all an excuse. It still doesn't hide the fact the the baby still a child and has ever right to live. No matter what the media or facts show, or how parents feel, it doesn't give have the right to purposes cease the life of a child. In the end, the child dies because the parents decided they were not worth living through.

Natacreatedartist |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

To all of you who think they need chime in on what is truly a underlining religious choice are the disturbed ones. The funny thing is you all say you would "keep it" but I DOUBT any of you would choose to adopt one on your own, or get involved in these "community outreaches" on your own! The question is answered. No one cares about your self-righteous BS of what YOU would do faced with this problem. It’s the same judgmental attitude that fifty years ago had people blaming the parents as sinners and having these “little gifts” abused verbally and physically by the community. Give it a rest:(

sumvwaria |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I can't believe that someone would terminate thier baby if they had DS. Throughout my whole cousin's pregnancy they told her my god daughter would have down syndrome. My cousin refused the amnio because of her fear of losing her baby. She couldn't bear with terminating her child and cried for the whole nine months but loved her little girl anyway and thought she was a blessing. ALL THE TESTS AND DRS WERE WRONG my god daughter was born healthy and is now a healthy happy six year old girl. Now how can u live with yourself if u kill ur child and they didn't have DS and was going to be born perfectly healthy. How can anyone do that????

Sweetz4571 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

first or all this is like the pro life pro choice thing and everyone is intitled to their own opinion etc, i would consider asking your doctor about termination. and ladies do not be judgmental maybe this person can not take care of a child with downs im sure it is extremely hard.... and if you can not terminate which i myself could never do maybe you could consider adoption. good luck with what ever happens and dont let ppl over the internet sway you.

500sunshine |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I don't think everyone can handle certain situations. I'm one of those people that would terminat the pregnancy if the baby had DS. I know myself, and I am not the type of person that could handle raising a child with DS. Some people are...some aren't....and we shouldn't judge.

haleyawold |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I can not believe so many arrogant people. I don't know why i keep reading posts because people just bug!! I think everyone is allowed there own opinion and no one should judge. You don't know what you would do until you are in the situation. I say right now I would terminate if I had a baby with DS but I don't know if I really would or not until I am right there facing it. Guess what it's mine and my husbands decision. Thanks to all the people who do not Judge!

jlmager |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Wow, I didn't expect people to be so judgmental towards each other on this site.... The question was a "just the facts" question, not asking for opinions or your disgust towards someone terminating a pregnancy. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I'm not sure that telling someone that you are disturbed or disgusted by them is productive.

arj989s |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

So what you are asking is it still "safe" for YOU or legal for you to kill your baby? Because you don't "want" a "sick" baby or the extra work it might entail? What a gross question.

julhu101483 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

You people are disgusting. Get off your pedestals. Stop preaching religion. The decision is very personal and it's not up to you all to decide for someone else, thank goodness. Like someone above said, the question was answered....leave it at that.

squidge96 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I don't know how you can see your baby on the ultrasound, see the heartbeat and it moving around and just dismiss that baby like it isn't anything because it has disabilities. No one hopes for a DS baby, but that is still your baby, your miracle! It hurts my heart. How do you know when the baby is born its not going to have cancer or have mobility issues? Are you going to get rid of them because they aren't perfect? Its a sad world we live in.

flabernia |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

It is possible, however I have had now 3 friends who have had been told that their baby would have downs and when all three different babies were born, none of them had signs of down syndrome. I couldn't terminate a pregnancy myself anyway, but if this is something you are considering make sure you get second opinions and there are fluid tests that can be performed to make for certain your baby has downs syndrome. These tests could also cause miscarriage. How would you feel if you terminated a completely normal baby.

April425 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

You all need to stop judging people. My previous pregnancy came back positive for DS and I terminated. I think it's unfair and selfish to bring a baby into the world when you know their quality of life will be compromised. Get off your high horses! You think this questions is disgusting? Your intolerance disgusts me.

standwhereistand |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I am only 22 and was extremely surprised when I was told my baby has downs. After an amnio confirmed that it was positive I was heart broken. I was driving with daddy to be and we had to pull over I was so hysterical. After calming down and a few weeks of research I knew that my baby boy would have plenty of opportunity to have a fulfilling life. I realized that it is up to me to provide love and care that would allow my baby boy to blossom and learn and become all those things as parents we would hope for. It maybe slightly different then any parent plans for but just as rewarding if not more so. I am keeping the baby and he is as healthy as can be, no heart defects, no brain abnormalities, he is doing great. we are so excited to meet our son. i have always thought there were 2 reasons why a baby should be terminated and this is not one of them. but i can understand the hardship,hurt, confusion, possibly even the guilt that comes with learning your baby has downs. some people cant handle the extra responsibility that comes along with it, i believe its selfish to deny a baby the chance at life. if your were trying to have a baby and this was our out come i would hope that with support you would move forward and move past the down syndrome. My son is my baby who happens to have downs.

paigeirby |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Be very cautious even when you have clear "red flags" for DS in your pregnancy. I am expacting now, but my mother was 48 when she got pregnant with my sweet 4 year old sister. She chose not to have the amnio, but on ultrasound all of the other "signs" they usually look for when they are seeing if your baby has DS were there, the Doctors told us that we should get prepared for it, and when she was born they took her and immediately did genetic testing etc. but she was perfect non of those "red flags" meant anything in the end, just because they're there sometimes doesn't mean it is. She is perfectly healthy, and they gave my mother the right to choose what she wanted to do, and it could have gone either way, but I'm glad she made the decision she did and I love the little princess that bosses us all around now! Beautiful and perfect even though they didn't think she would be. Think about that there is always what if, can you live with the decision you make "IF"

katieapple0825 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

another poster on here mentioned too that why would you test if people didn't want to terminate, well one reason many people get tested is because most of the time, and developmental issue with a child can have financial ramifications, and they would like to be able to prepare financially and take classes ahead of time, to learn how to properly care for the child they are about to bring into the world.

katieapple0825 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Who do you think you are to decide the fate of an innocent child?! Bc it might be an inconveinence to you?? Because you might have to parent a little harder, and longer?! You will be held accountable for all the things you have done on day-Don't be a murderer.

mannasmommy |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

My sister is Downs and she is a great light in my life. For someone to terminate a downs pregnancy seems selfish. Sry if its not a perfect baby like you thought, but to get rid of it cause it doesnt seem fair for the childs future, or you dont want people to look down on your child or you dont want to feel socially awkward is selfish. A life deserves a chance. Downs Syndome children can live fullfilling lives. Only my opinion. But I believe this to be extremely cruel to abort a baby that can move around and can hear its mothers voice...

vbelanger |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I'm pregnant with myn2nd child, and I have Sickle Cell Disease, a genetic disorder. I had extensive genetic counseling & screening done with the first one (just tomb on the safe side), and the counselor actually told me that she recommends that patients whose unborn babies have Sickle Cell Disease terminate, but that babies with Dowm Syndrome can be a gift from God. Maybe it's because I have successfully lived with this disease for 30+ years, but I was deeply offended. Termination due to genetic issues is a personal decision. Personally, I don't know what I would do. Down Syndrome isn't like Sickle Cell, which causes additional health problems & possibly affect the quality of life- of the child, as to where Down Syndrome will DEFINITELY affect quality of life for you , your child, & everyone else in your family. Yes, 19-20 weeks is kinda late to terminate, but if you just found out at that time, then that is the time you would do it. I didn't get my first screen done due to scheduling issues at my doctors office, so I wouldn't find out anything until my mid-pregnancy u/s. It's such a scary thought, and I would hate to make the wrong decision just because everyone thinks that it's too late to terminate.

DeeDaa313 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I think this should be a place where people can post questions without so much judgement, it's this same judgement that drives people to make these types of decisions. I hope you are able to find the answers that you are searching for. Good luck.

Mandilockwood |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I have no idea why I clicked on this question... yet at the same time it disturbed me with some of these answers. Bottom line. I'm not getting the test. I told my Dr. this and whatever I bring into this world, I will devote my mind body and sole to it.

Snugit |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I can not believe how judgmental so many of the responses are! I am an early childhood special educator and have worked with children with severe autism as well as DS. My husband is also a special educator and we discussed the possibility of, god-forbid, being faced with such a decision. Just because you know someone, or have a sibling with a disability the health and quality of life of that child and family is greatly diminished, and that's without knowing what other family dynamics are going on. We all have different backgrounds and should be supportive instead of judging a fellow woman and HER questions about her own family.

minnak |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I am not in shock as to how judgmental and mean these answers are. I would definitely terminate a pregnancy if I had a child with DS. Definitely without a doubt. And, being that we live in this country, we still have a choice.

laneybee17 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I wish I could say I can't believe how many judgmental, negative, unsupportive responses there are to this question, but truthfully I am not surprised. This is a support board, not a condemnation board. We all come on here because we are trying to make the best decisions that we can, and be as informed as possible. Judgments are clearly not helpful, besides the fact that they are just plain rude. The anonymity of a computer makes people a lot braver than they would be in person. I bet a lot of you wouldn't dare be so horrible to someone's face. DS is an unfortunate situation, and women should be supported no matter what decision they make. I just had my 12 week genetic testing for DS a couple of weeks ago, and my husband and I had already decided to terminate if the results were positive for DS. I hope that anyone that has to make this decision in the future will be able to get the support they need regardless of the choice they make.

aggielo |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I am at 18 weeks and am terminating due to a diagnosis of DS with a known heart defect (more organ issues anticipated) through amniocentesis. Multiple markers from the US confirmed the diagnosis for us. I had hoped to have the CVS testing and expressed as much to my OB/GYN however for some reason the required first trimester screening was not scheduled until the last day a CVS could be done and since this pregnancy was very unexpected and unplanned (10 years married and no possibility of conception), I really had no idea what I was doing and did not catch that scheduling error. With DS came an indicator of a heart defect – severity TBD - but what struck my husband and myself most was the lack of support our child would have after we were gone – no younger family and as my husband and I are in our 40’s, this meant the child could have been alone for many, many years. Adoption? I wish I did not know this personally, but there are people out there who cannot be trusted and I would not leave my child in a stranger’s hands for potential mistreatment. We did find a Doctor who would perform a D&E in the 18th week – I don’t think I could have faced an induction. I love my daughter and as heartbreaking as this is, it is our decision and it is what my husband and I must do. I wish those facing the same decision peace and acceptance.

ehammon1 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I am 16 weeks and just went a couple days ago for DS testing. I am very afraid, but hoping and praying for the best (a healthy baby boy or girl). I am very disturb by termination of my baby, but the thought has crossed my mind several times this week, that if so...WHAT WILL WE DO?. I know my husband would probably disagree with me, but I dont know...this is a hard pill to swallow if baby has DS. Feeling a bit sad this week, I just want our perfect baby.

ashleelazz |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

if you dont want the baby that god gives you because he/she has DS.. the you dont deserve children. im sorry but all of you who said you WOULD terminate disgust me! Good luck with having your "perfect child"!

AulorasMommy11 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

It's sickening how many people are judging the original poster. If you're opposed, give your opinion, but it's just that, an opinion. I never thought of myself as someone who would even think of terminating a pregnancy, but find myself in a similar situation...nucotranslucense came back with a 1 in 22 chance and trying to decide what to do if the amnio comes backp ositive. When you think through all the scenarios, it's actually hard to justify keeping on. I've seen studies that show 92% of people do terminate. So don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. As for the discussion on waiting so long to make the decision...The way my doctor put it - Start with the Nuco then if that puts you in high risk, you have two choices...CVS or Amnio. However, CVS has a 1% miscarriage rate where amnio has a 1/1600 miscarriage rate. My doctor advised Amnio and I agree with him. If I did the CVS, I have a .95% chance of miscarrying a perfectly healthy baby.

footz79 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Any woman and/or couple who would choose to terminate a pregnancy due to down syndrome has the right to do so and shouldn’t feel bad about making that decision. We are all different and we all make different choices. We should all be thankful we live in a country that allows us to live freely. I would suggest we stop being so judgmental and mean to each other. To those of you who are "sickened" by this post, get over it, or move to a state where the laws are more conservative. As long as you can sleep at night that's all you should be worried about, instead of placing such harsh judgment upon others for the personal decisions they make.

olthaa |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I have 5 biological sons and last year we adopted a baby girl with Down syndrome. She is absolutely wonderful. I am so very thankful to her birth parents for having the courage to place her for adoption. I couldn't even imagine that I could love a child more. We are now back on the list to adopt another baby girl with DS, so they can grow up together :)

ZooMomTo6 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

It's a very difficult decision and I hope that I never have to go through this! It's scares me just to think about it! All that I could do is hope for the best and make a wise decision. Because, having to chose on terminating or keeping a child with DS is a very difficult decision that anyone could make. Good luck to all mommies in this situation no judgement on wether you keep or terminate your pregnancy.

raquelq5 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Like some of you, I am going through a similar situation but my child has a risk of Trisomy 18. This has been the most emotional and heart wrenching time of my life. Before I would never have thought of terminating my child but now knowing my child could suffer a very excruciating life, terminating to me is not out of the question. Most babies with Trisomy 18 don't live past the first month of life. I just had the amnio done and now are awaiting the results. I feel for anyone that has experienced similar situations. You really cannot judge until you are put in that situation. I am in week 18 and I feel I have already formed that bond with my child (so I am still very unsure what I will do). I also had the 1st trimester screening and they didn't discover anything. It wasn't until a level 2 ultrasound did the doctors discover a few potential signs. I do think it takes a very special person and family to take care of a special needs child. For you ladies that would never terminate I applaud you. A special needs child not only can affect the child but also can have a hefty burden on the pocket book and a marriage. It’s an incredibly scary situation. I would not wish this on anyone.

Lacey7181 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Murder is a choice? what kind of country to we live in that allows murder as a choice. is it ok to shoot your child if by chance they were in an accident and became handicapped or had to go through cancer/diabetes/other long term life changing diagnosis just because it would be a burden on your marriage or pocketbook?. Frankly I am embarrassed to live in a country that allows the killing of innocent lives.

gibsonkj |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I lost my daughter at 21 weeks. Our late scan picked up problems, we then had an amnio which confirms DS, heart and kidney problems. We took the difficult and selfless decision to end the pregnancy, as my daughter would have had a poor standard of living and would have been in and out of hospital. I also had my son, who would have just passed 1 year to think about. What type of mother would I have been to have knowingly bought a child who'd have a life time of pain into this world. What type of mother would I have been to make my son second best? It sickens me how people who haven't been in this position can be so judgemental. Its very easy if its not happened to you to be on your high and mighty. I just hope you don't experience this nightmare experience... which is racked with guitly whatever decision you make.

danih1980 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

As a person who carries the genetic defects to create life with downs, it is your decision to make. Each state has different regulations on termination during pregnancy. This is you and your husband's decision. I had my first encounter and decision to make at a young age. It's about a quality of life you think you or someone else could provide. Don't listen to the prissy women on here who have felt "disgusted" over your question. If you do not like the topic description, do not click the link. By the way... I have had 3 tests pop positive and have had 3 sucessfull births of babies with no defects. There is a more accurate test that can be given now and chose to go that route with this baby #4. It was negative for the screening.

Muzzysgirl |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

i beleive this question is a very very good question, under the circumstances sometimes it can be impossible for some families to take on the responsibility of a child with health problems both financially and mentally, it can take a tremendous toll on the family dynamic as well as the financial dynamic. some families do not plan pregnancy and are barley able to afford a child of good health let alone one that is going to require constant special attention.

Kaitilin |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

1st off 2 answer OP question - yes. 2nd, I have read almost all of the answer/opinions on here. It breaks my heart 2 see how cruel and judgemental that some people can be. I had always considered myself to be pro-life and said that I'd NEVER get an abortion. But let me tell u something - I guarantee that the same people on here saying that she is "cruel" & "how dare you ask something like that" have not been in her shoes.... I have. At 17 wks I was told that my AFP results came back saying that my child is at risk for DS. I was horrifed. I am 28 yrs. old & a Christian. My husband & have 4 children and we r also taking care of a relative who had a paralyzing stroke - that in itself has been a nightmare. I have been going back and fourth trying to figure out what I'd do if my amnio test was to come back positive 4 DS. It is heartwrnching and stressful beyond all imagination. It is so eaasy for someone on the outside looking in to say "Don't abort" or "trust God" because it is not THEM. Ur not gonna be the one struggling mentally, emotionally, financially, or in any other way. I said all thins 2 say, please be kind to women going through this bc it is not easy and it's something u have 2 deal with every single moment for the rest of your life whether u choose to abort or not... only u and God know what u can or cannot handle. And 2 women out there dealing with the same issue, just know that u are not alone, and that no one is perferct, and that no matter what ur decision may be God is a forgiving God and only He can judge us.

tiaa |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I hope the person who asked this question realized how inconsiderate they were bein even thinking about ending this beautiful baby's life. You know what happens to ppl that actually Go through with terminations this far along (in 2nd trimester) they go on to regret it forever, that's what happens!

Babymaker1012 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I am sad to see that so many women can be so cruel to someone who has found themselves in a such an devastating situation. I am 14 weeks pregnant with my second child and just found out through a NT Scan that my baby is extremely ill. Not only does she have signs of DS, TS, or Trisomy 18 but she also has a heart defect and significant swelling throughout her entire body. I have the choice to wait for a miscarriage or terminate. I've been told that there is almost no chance of carrying to term or of the baby surviving if I made it that far. I thought I would never consider termination but until you are faced with the decision you cannot know how you will feel. I have my unborn baby, my young son, my husband, and my own feelings and emotional well-being to consider as I agonize over my decision. My heart goes out to anyone who is placed in this situation. Do not let these judgmental and uncaring women hurt you. Do what is right for you and your family and know that there are many women who know what you are going through and our heart goes out to you and your family.

steph7811 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

A child regarless of the situation deserves to be given a chance regardless! Im on my 2nd pregnancy and I was never tested either time for Down Syndrome because God wont give you more than you can handle! Have a little faith and give that poor innocent baby a chance!!

Opalr31 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I read many of these posts just out of curiosity because I am 40 and was in a high risk category for DS. I have already been through the testing and am clear. I am very thankful for that and am now getting adjusted to the whole situation. However, my pregnancy was unexpected and I was not planning on having children. Although I am ok with it now, it was a major adjustment understanding what my life was going to be like. People have been very rude to me because they just can't comprehend that I wouldn't be turning backflips about being pregnant when I wasn't even trying. I struggled with slight depression because NOone in my world could understand what I may be going through. I talked to my doctor about it. He said if women were honest you would find that there are MANY out there like me. They just don't admit it (or post it on websites like this). However, I have a REAL issue with all of the negative posts from people JUDGING the person who was considering termination. You remind me of all of the people that have judged me because I wasn't out "painting my nursery" at 6 weeks pregnant. I think it's really easy to judge someone when you haven't "walked a mile " in their shoes. Did you ever consider what that person may be going through already, or is that too hard for you to wrap your mind around?

whoredog |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I felt my baby move at 16 weeks and I can't imagine killing something I can actually feel moving and living inside me. There is really no difference in killing it now or waiting till after it's born in my opinion, it's a living human being in either situation.

tozier |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Wow!! Are you serious? Killing a baby? This is just sick and not osmething you post on the internet maybe you should be talking to a counslor of some sort.. My nephew had those tests down too and was told he was going to be mentally retarded and probably wouldnt live.. everyone told her to abort.. she didnt he ended up perfect nothing wrong at all... he was a little slowly at doing things... but you would never say he was mentally retarded couldnt even tell he was slow playing with him. this person disgusts me. In the bible God says its a sin to abort. I dont care the situation or freedom of choice.. this is wrong. I got the test done with my first child after that i never got the test done again i didnt care what my baby came out with i was going to keep them. Im on my 5th child and refuse DS testing.Dont abort give the child up for adoption something.. wow sickening

cileah098 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Wow!! Are you serious? Judgemental enough? I am currently 15 weeks and 5 days. Two weeks ago I recieved my 1st trimester screening that came back with an increased risk for my age, I am 30. I am currently awaiting an appointment on the August 16th at which time depending on the results I will have an amnio done. I am scared, anxious and have trouble sleeping and doing much of anything with the thoughts of what the outcome of these tests may be and the decisions that follow. To those of you who didn't do testing, or would not terminate a pregnancy good for you for being able to take on whatever comes your way. I can only hope that if any of you who are so ready to spill cruel and hurtful words to those who are vunerable and unsure, that if you are even in a time of crisis or in need of support that you are met with kinder words than this poor girl and myself have seen written on this "mommy" site. Shame on you who lean on God's will when writing about your "disgust", God above all else is forgiving and does not judge others. Who are any of us to pass judgement on either side. There is not one answer that is right for every couple out there. I feel hurt and bothered by the cuel words spoken here, and hope that I never encounter such hate and heartlessness in my own life.

mlsmom |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Every child is precious and unrepeatable. From the moment of fertilization, science proves that a unique human being comes into existence. If parents feel they cannot care for a child with special needs, please give that child a chance by giving that child for adoption. Aborting a child at any stage of pregnancy not only kills that child (the worst form of child abuse) but it harms the health and emotional well-being of the parents. You may not be able to have children again, you may die due to the dangerous procedure, you may divorce or break up with your beloved because you both cannot handle the guilt and or anger over the memory of that child killed. For your own sake, and for the sake of this innocent child, please choose life. Remember, there are more than a million infertile couples in the U.S. today who long for children - even special needs children in specific. Give them a chance, choose hope, choose life.

bcensley |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

well I am 12 week pregnants with a positive down syndrome; is termination posible ;can i conceive after that ; i m 31 years old; i have 8 yr old son ;this is my second pregnancy; eagerly waiting for your reply

hemac |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Very touchy subject indeed. I would simply like to say a few things that are my personal beliefs, I am not judging those who see it differently. Perhaps it will enlighten a few of you. First, the only choice that exists in pregnancy is the choice to conceive. However, making the choice that you personally do not want to care for a disabled child and giving it up for adoption is a fair choice. I personally don't see why the world is so obsessed and set on pregnancy termination being the woman's choice, because it is not. The child within you is a part of your husband/partner as well. IMO God gives life and He takes it away. I personally disagree with any termination however my personal opinion does not mean I would have bad thoughts towards someone who feels they have a choice. And don't give me the "You'd feel differently if you were in their shoes" crap. I just received notice of my own abnormal screening. Awaiting ultrasound at this time. The only choice I am contemplating is finding the child an ideal environment should the worst become true.

algarguilo |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

When I hear or read that someone would terminate a baby just because of a possibility of down syndrome it makes me sad. I'm 25 and i gave birth to a baby with down syndrome two weeks ago. I did get the screening test done which came back positive but I declined the amnio because I knew that no matter how this baby was going to be born I was still going to keep it. I remember the day my doctor gave me the option to terminate (at 21 weeks) and at that very moment feeling my baby moving around in my belly just broke my heart because I knew someone out their might have choose to terminate. Yes it was hard the first day when his blood test came back and they diagnosed him him Downs but I could not imagine my life without my son who is the most precious and beautiful thing to me and my family. I know people have their own opinions and choices but I would hope that woman out there would not make the choice to terminate their baby because of this condition.

esmie316 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

To those in similar situations, please carry the baby. You don't have to parent it, just wait until it can live on it's own and then part ways. My best friend is an OB and rocked a 22 weeker until it died this week. An ultrasound was believed to show a fatal abnormality, but the baby was normal. A few more weeks and he would have been breathing on his own. Someone will be there for the baby if you can find it in your heart to stay pregnant a little longer.

WineSnob |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

To Whom It May Concern: This is your choice and it disgusts me to see so many who haven't walked a day in your shoes. Never an easy decision a woman knows what is right for her and that is that. Be strong no matter what you decide.

hb4485 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I am 22 weeks, got the test for down syndrome, and it came out positive, only reason I got the test is because the ultrasound showed the baby has a sever heart problem, and it's the central heart, I have a choice to make whither to terminate or not, the councilor said that if the baby is born, she is going to have to have series of operations, it's very difficult decision I have to make because, I already have 3 kids, one with multiple disabilities, and the other with autism, and they take up all my time, I have been praying about this situation and think I know what to do, but hesitant to do it, it's like I have to take all things into consideration.

nikkitlc123 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

This is a heartbreaking choice for any mother to make. I'm currently 33 weeks, and I declined Down Syndrome testing, because I don't want to know. I thought about what would happen if I got the testing and it came positive, and for me personally I knew that I couldn't live with the guilt of terminating the baby. But that was my choice, and I know that it isn't the right choice for everyone. I think that someone who is trying to decide what to do needs our compassion and not our judgement. One option isn't the right one for everyone, based on their resources, strength. and other considerations. For me personally, I made a choice by choosing not to get tested, however, that isn't the right choice for everyone.

andreakirchoff |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

It is easy for anyone to say "I would never" until you are in the situation yourself. I am one of those people doesnt believe in abortion but after a test result with a chance of being pregnant with a DS baby things change. I of course and having further testing done to know for sure. If the results are positive I will terminate and live with that for the rest of my life.

sindee25 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

i find this to be a hard subject to swallow. im at the end of my 16th week and just found out that my little boy has ds not only that but his heart is not developing properly and his brian stem is malformed. the dr are saying that IF i make it to ful tirm my son may only live for 2 years with sever mental and health problems. but its more likely for my son to die inutero (stillborn) i myself have had extream depretion for most my life and where as i would never thought to teminate if it was just ds it would kill me to have my son 4 maybe 2 years then him die! .... my husband and i are greatly considering termination. i give great props to anyone who can handle having and the loosing a child but i dont believe that i could handle it. as for the judgemental posts you could never understand the heartrenching pain that comes when you hear that your child has any isuses. i have had 3 misscarraiges and 1 perficly health 6 yr old boy and have never believed in abortion... but things change when your faced with adversity!

ladylaidawn |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I find it very interesting that all the people supporting pro-choice seem loving, supportive and warm, not to mention concerned about this woman's feelings. All of the people "outraged and disgusted" at the thought of terminating a life, sound so full of poison, hatred and bile. So judgmental. Not to mention half of you can't spell to save yourselves.

anonabird |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

http://abortioninstruments.com/ Please watch this web page. It will show you what you are really doing when you kill and unborn child.

Amberpicard09 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

http://abortioninstruments.com/ watch this.

Amberpicard09 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

The Lord give life and the Lord take it away. Notice how I said (LORD) Who are we to choose LIFE OR DEATH??? To teminate a child regardless is just wrong on so many levels. Especially if that child has a disablity. Im a mother of 5 children. 3 of them of autism. Yea its hard. They have trouble with things but with alot of love and help from people they can live a fulfilling life. Not only that you will have to answer to the Lord on your choices. Cuz that baby could have been a doctor, a teacher, a mother, a father a coach on a lil league team But because we are so selfish to do what is necessary to raise a child with/without disabilities.

Amberpicard09 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

My friend jessica is the mother with 5 children. She is a great mother and posted under my name with my permission. Jessica I love you and your children. I'm excepting my 3rd child. I could never murder a child.

Amberpicard09 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

For anyone judging, and calling it "murder" and "killing a baby," I might advise you to reconsider your language. If you really think it's something that's done on a whim, or just for kicks, or is anything LESS than an absolutely heart-breaking and devastating decision to have to make, you're being delusional as well as haughty and judgmental. For those who defer to religion, I might ask: have you ever undergone IVF treatments? What about birth control? You can't selectively decide when to leave something in your god's hands, and when to take hold of the reins, but sanctimoniously condemn other women for similarly making their own decisions. There's so much personal attack here and not enough objective answers to the original question. I'm 13 weeks and change, not particularly high risk but old enough (36) that it's a real possibility, and will terminate if the very very devastatingly worst happens. I should hope that rather than being judged for this decision, you might send your thoughts and goodwill and prayers to hoping that the worst doesn't happen, because I'd love nothing more than for this pregnancy to end in joy and not tears, as I'm sure we all would. Isn't that what "loving one another" is supposed to be about?

constanceblizzard |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I just want to add ... that for all of u saying that abortion is selfishness that u couldn't be more wrong its a very hard self less decision that we didn't make lightly and for the anyone in a the troubling situation to read a time to decide a time to heal by molly a minnock,msw kathlee j delp, acsw and marry c ciotti, md .... it is a book of many couples who have made the difficult decision about the babysitter they loved.

ladylaidawn |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

sorry baby they loved not babysitter ......

ladylaidawn |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Stop judging the person who asked the question. You have all made your choice. Let her make hers.

ixthian |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I am in this position and i can not believe how people are judging. I am 21 weeks and been diagnosed thay my baby had downs. My child also has two complex heart problems. So is it right to put my child through a life of pain and suffering and hope her disabilities are not severe so that she can maybe have a good life. I love my child so so much and is breaking me feeling I should end her pain before it begins. People who are talking about giving the child up for adoption clearly do not understand the reason for termination. Mine is so my child is not in pain after operations so that she does not continuously get ill. the risks if born and the suffering she will have. Yes there is a chance of it being a mild form but what if it isn't how can I live with knowing i caused the pain and suffering it isn't fair. U want my baby so much and i love her with all my heart already I am not selfish I just do not want to hurt my child and give a life of pain which is a possibilty. i was a low risk 1 in 556 to have downs baby then it was very uncommon to have both heart problems my child has you normally get one or the other so do I take another like I have been and again be put thru pain. I can't take that chance I am doing the thing I think is best I love my child and this decision has broke me but I know if I didn't do this and she was severly ill I would never forgive myself.

nessac37 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I am shocked by the level of judgement and hatred in so many of these posts. Unless you have lived this situation, you can not imagine the heart wrenching emotions one goes through. We discovered that our planned and wanted baby has Downs Syndrome on Monday via FISH results after CVS. I am 37 years old and healthy. We knew my age was a risk, but never imagined that we'd be where we are now after having two beautiful, healthy, children. I loved my baby the minute I conceived her. My decision to terminate was one that my husband and I discussed prior to becoming pregnant; however, I never considered how difficult it would be to follow through with the termination. This week has been one of they hardest of my life. I am mourning the loss of my child while still pregnant. My surgery is scheduled for Friday. To any parent in this situation-- my heart breaks for you. May we all find further purpose in our own lives through the pain and loss of this experience. Love and light, J

Jmdahlram |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

some of these posts are actually quiet appauling, considering no-one on this site has had a ds child, how in the hell could they judge others, i have 2 normal children and is pregnant again at a really high risk of ds, 1/50 with fetal heart problems as well, i had a cvs at 13 weeks as this is the earliest they can detect ds, so its not by choice of when you have the termination, as hard as it is to terminate a child its in the best interest of the child, with medical expenses, specialists, drs appintments as well as go to work to support your family, i have been advised by specialists that this is the best thing to do

samme079 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I understand this question is dated 2009 but I feel it is important to address the issue. I found out I had a 1 of 24 percent chance of having a child with Down syndrome while I was pregnant. I chose that it did not make one bit of difference to me. And I am in the special education field, so I was well aware of children with disabilities. My daughter was born and the diagnosis was confirmed. As I learned about the differences she will have I was so very suprised about how barbaric the doctors and nurses outdated information and opinions were. Please do not just take the advice or information the doctors give you. My daughter does and will have differences but it is amazing how much like my older 2 daughters she really is. My daughter really brings so much love and life into my home. I read responses about working and having a child with disabilities. My husband and myself both work and all is good. I worry about her just as much as I worried about my other two. A lot of the data is so outdated due to early intervention and the new idea that if we educate any child they will learn, Remember long ago children with ds were not educated just sent off to institutions.. There is no test for blind or deaf or autism - would all of those children be aborted as well. What a boring world we would live in then. A perfectly healthy child could have a terrible accident and have a life of therapy would we change our mind about our child then? The point is in our country we do have choices but please remember to do all of your homework before making one of the biggest decision of your life.

csam2727 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Those of you who are "disturbed" by the question, you have clearly never been faced with having to make it!!! Get off your moral high horse! This is not a decision any expectant mother or father wants to make and it's not right to judge! It's a very personal and emotional choice. Everyone does the best they can to make the right decision for their family. Every child is a gift I agree but if the parents are not emotionally or financial equipped to have a child with DS it's a choice that may need to be made.

bellajul |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I just had 2nd trimester screening done and came back positive for down syndrome. My 1st trimester screening was negative and from what I hear this is more accurate screening. I now go this week to have a perinatal ultrasound and based off these results will have the option to do an amnio. Im nervous about the amnio because of risk of miscarriage. To be honest I do not know why I opted for these tests because all I do is worry. I know I will be faced with the option of terminating the pregnancy if all comes back positive but I do not think I could live with myself if I did so. I feel like a child is a gift from God and just because it is not perfect does not give me the right to just get rid of it. I know that some people with down syndrome can live very fullfilling lives but I also realize the struggles as well and all of this just scares me so much. i am so nervous as to what is going to come of this. I just keep praying that everything will be ok. I also hear that it is very common to have false positive results for this screening. Has anyone had false positive results before that is reading this?

renepineda |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I skipped to the end after reading about 50% of the posts. I just want to present some facts. I'm a physician pregnant with my first child and I cannot believe the lack of education pregnant women are receiving. Down syndrome is a very specific genetic diagnosis that should not be confused with other forms of disability. DS is otherwise known as trisomy 21. Your baby have to have one too many chromosome to have DS. Your baby's chromosomes can be analyzed by CVS or amniocentesis and is >95% accurate. Blood markers and "quad" tests are PREDICTORS and cannot be used to DIAGNOSE DS. As with any disease, there is a wide spectrum of DS presentation. It can range from life threatening heart defects and head and neck problems, to mild developmental delays. I hope that women reading this chain are being educated by their physician and counselled appropriately before making decisions about their prenatal testing. I certainly don't want anyone reading this post to be misled because someone posted " my sister baby had DS and was born without it". Please be responsible about information you post and information you read. Thank you.

mtc0415 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Yes, and don't discriminate women who choose abortion. Different states have different laws. In my state I think it's up to 23 or 24wks. Many women aren't able to find out until about this time. It's a heartbreaking, enormously difficult decision to make. Sure they're lovable. Of course they are! These babies have all sorts of complications and varying degrees of retardation. Not every kid with Down's gets a big break to be on Glee. People have to imagine these babies well into adulthood. They'll never be able to drive for one. There careers are limited to being baggers in a grocery store. If your baby reaches the IQ of a 6year old, you're lucky. There's too many factors to be considered when having a Down's baby. Do you want your baby to become a ward of the state when you and your spouse die? Can you give up your job to care 24/7 for this baby? Can you afford all the medical expenses that may come up even with MCD if you have to resort to it because you have to quit your job? Or is even state aid going to be enough? What kind of life will this baby have? How will the whole family be affected as a whole? Adoption? Please, how many people do you know who are willing to adopt a regular kid, let alone one with Down's? I have a cousin with Down's. I've seen the impact on my aunt. We love them, but do not envy nor desire that situation. So those that have Down's children, I'm sure life isn't always peachy and I admire your tenacity, but I know I couldn't do it. To anybody having to decide, I send hugs and positive vibes. If you decide to abort, it's likely because you are being merciful to your baby and have decided you do not want your baby to lead that sort of life nor is your family emotionally/financially prepared for such a responsibility.

ARIES326 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

ooh to the above - there is actually a waitlist to adopt babies with down syndrome. Adults with down syndrome have many more jobs than baggers at grocery stores. And that is before all of the early intervention provided to children today - actually to any child that is in need "typical peers" as well - Did you know that divorce rate is lower for couples with that have a child with down syndrome. I feel bad for your false information.. For couples facing this - please speak to a local support center for down syndrome - this is where you can get all of the facts - not from random posts on the internet which may prove to be true or not.. :-)

csam2727 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

This is a very difficult decision either way. Having a child with DS is an enormous expense and full time job for the whole family, siblings and parents. Also if the parents are older, when they pass away, you are asking siblings to be responsible for this child you have brought into the world. Yet, knowing you are pregnant and talking to the baby and going through the first trimester difficulties makes this an incredibly difficult decision I hope I don't have to make.

nykatzie |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

First, I would like to say that I am a PROUD MOM of a 4 1/2 month old baby girl who has Down syndrome. Ladies I understand and respect everyones opinions, but honestly.....You don't know what you'll be missing! I was 19 weeks pregnant when I found out my daughter had Down syndrome......im not saying it's the easiest thing to find out, but I decided to continue my pregnancy. I would NOT change my daughter one bit. She is the LOVE OF MY LIFE!!! She is perfect just the way she is. I was scared like you and many other moms going through this, but give yourself and your baby a chance. I, like many of you was ignorant thinking she would always need to be in the hospital, taking medications, and so many other things......I thought I wouldnt be able to handle it, but thank God my daughter is doing really good! The hole in her heart closed so no surgery is needed. I have so many things to be grateful for. The advice I can give you is don't think about the future you have to take it day by day.....if you over think things then you'll just feel overwhelmed and scared. I hope you made the right choice. My baby is worth everything I have been through....she is a miracle baby. May God bless you and guide you and all the women out there who are thinkjng of having an abortion. Life is precious and God knows who he is sending these little blessings to. Anyone needs to talk or would like to ask me any questions you may contact me.... ;)

myblessing4 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

everyone has the right foer an opinion and all opinions or life choices have to be respected. My first cousin who is also my best friend have downs syndrome boy who is 17 now. While he was very lovely as a child, it become very difficult when he got older. He got mental retardation and depsite early interevention program is still like a toddler. Now at 17 he does not understand sexuality and make embarrasing things and cant read or write and is fully dependant on my cousin. She told me many times she regrets having him and if she knewwhat she knows now, she will have an abortion. When I got pregnant first time they confrimed my baby has ds at 12 weeks. My cousin told me to terminate and not ruin my future as there is no futre for me or the child. I did terminate and soon got rpegant again and have a healthy child now who is intelligent,normal and healthy. I don;t regret my decision. I do understand women who terminate but also have a huge appreciation for women who decide to keep the child with ds. My doctor told me that 99% od ds pregnancy are terminated in her surgery. also, I work as a nurse in hospital for 15 years and seen many children with ds in the past but they are so rare today to be seen.

SydneySydney12 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I am 36 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child and my blood work put me in the 1/21 risk bracket. I had the CVS test done and am awaiting the results. If it is positive then both my husband and I have decided to terminate the pregnancy. It is a decision that will weigh heavy on my heart for the rest of my live but I believe I will be doing what is best for my family. The lack of compassion and understanding on this forum is shocking..I wonder how many of the venom spitters would stick so resolutely to their opinions if they were placed in this devasting position. Yes there is the chance that you can give birth to a high functioning DS child but it could also swing the other way. Not only do I worry about who would take care of this child after my husband and I are gone but I know in my heart that I couldn't bury my own child later on life if it devolped fatal health problems. These choices are not made selfishly because we in this position all want the perfect child but because we are thinking about what is to become of the child and what impact it could have on other children. Is it fair of me to burden the care of a possibly very sick person on the shoulders of my other child? To carry on with the pregnancy and have a child who ends up having a very pooor quality of life? To the OP, I am so sorry that this has been placed upon you..I'm not 100% sure about hwere you live but a termination here in Europe would be possible at this stage of pregnancy. You have my compassion .

milamadscot |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

In my 18th week of pregnancy and have had the first blood test come back "high risk for Down Syndrome"...As we await to do further testing we have mulled over the pros and cons whats right and wrong, what we feel would be the best not only for our unborn child but for our other children and so on. We have decided that we will terminate if the diagnosis is made. Never in my life would I have ever thought I would be facing this choice and before faced with this I thought, "Duh, it's still a baby and we are having it!" This is not a blackand white issue...There are gray areas and aspects that need to be considered! I respect those people who have choosen to look at the situation as black and white, right or wrong and push forward! I will not judge them for the choice they made and I would expect them and everyone to respect and not judge the choice that I make. I am nither for or agaisnt abortion...I do think it is an over used and harsh procedure. Yet, if a women so chooses she should have that right, as it is her cross to bear!

ALT2012 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I love how all you people with healthy, normal children are passing your I'll-informed judgement on women who are facing the most difficult time in their lives. They are faced ith a reality that you cannot fathom, that is painful beyond your wildest imagination. I have a child with down syndrome. Let me assure you they are not fluffily little marshmallow children who are happy all the time. Life with my daughter has been filled with frustration a LOT of very hard work. I have four other children and she takes much time and attention away from them. She is moderate to severely retarded and at 6 years old still is not toilet trained, and her speech is unintelligible. I respect each and every family's decision wether it is to terminate or not. I'm just sick and tired of these self-righteous mommies who don't have to walk this walk imposing their views on the rest of us. Please, go back to raising your healthy, normal children and be thankful you don't have to make a decision like this.

Chrissycrunch |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

"Oh Honey, I feel so guilty for not having you killed." How does this make sense coming out of anyone's mouth?

kritta12 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

So many people are disgusted by this question, but I think people are making unfair judgements. You can never know how you would react in that situation until you are placed in it. Having a child with a severe disability is not easy, but there are many more things to think about. If you have other children, then you are placing a burden on them forever of caring for this child. When you are no longer able to care for your child, they will still be a child and will still need care. You are leaving them to the hands of others, either by placing a burden on your other children, your family or strangers. Also, a severely handicapped child places a financial burden on a family forever. The medical expenses alone will eat at your family. You may have to take out second jobs, a second mortgage on your home, loans, etc... Also, kiss any family vacations goodbye, no college education for your other children, no dance lessons or swimming lessons, no private schools,etc... the list goes on and on. It is easy to take the high-and-mighty road when you are not in this situation, but so many people judge before they think through the entire situation. I am 20 weeks and I love the little person inside me more than I could ever describe and I would do anything for her. I've lost a child before and I know the pain involved, and this would never be an easy decision. But it is a decision that each family must make based on their own situation. We should not be so quick to judge others.

fromMaddockstoMccandless |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

90% of women terminate in this situation. somehow 90% of women become pro-choice when it affects them!

newbeast |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Shame on all of you for criticizing and imposing your views on someone else, the truth is, you don't know what you would do until you are faced with the situation, you can make all kinds of claims but until you have to walk in the shoes of someone actually facing the situation you can't really say. I worked at a home for the mentally retarded (that is a medical term, not a derogatory one) and I can tell you that I don't know what I would do but I can tell you that the stress of taking care of someone in that situation often leads to divorce and the other children suffer because a majority of your time has to be devoted to your special needs child. I hope I am never in a situation I would have to make that decision.

sdbutler78 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

While some of you may be 'disturbed' by this post, let's think realistically. Some couples are not emotionally nor financially equipped to handle a child with a disability. This can put a great strain on a person and a marriage. Plus, this child will be fully dependent on you for the rest of its life. Most parents outlive their children, so where will a child with a disability go? To state regulated housing (orphange) where it will not be able to receive the proper nutrition, care, attention it needs. Though the decision to terminate a child may not be your own, do not demean others who cannot handle to vast responsibility of a child with a disability. Yes, it is a child and a separate and unique life, but what kind of life with that child live. Look at the whole picture and don't let your emotions make the decision.

mailecortese |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

You think that If the mother makes live sex can hurt the baby?

nikelecy |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Contributors--this is not a forum for your personal views on abortion; hash that out at the voting booth. The topic under discussion here is an important one, and if you are not struggling with the termination question as it relates to genetic defects you're probably in the wrong forum.

pixiegloss |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

hell no i would never terminated my baby no way no how now i had the down syndrome test a while back and my first test came back normal the second test came back my baby had DS and i took the screening test it came back normal everythings goood

sholmes2013 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

What disgusts me is the amount of judgment on this board. We are all entitled to our opinions but we are not entitled to berate and belittle others because they choose or consider options that we would not. This is a board for supporting, not attacking, each other. If you have an opinion to offer do so respectfully and gently. If not, keep your mouth shut. I wish the original poster all the best with a very difficult situation. I hope I never have to face such a daunting decision myself.

possumb |

down-syndrome-termination

Is my baby at risk for down syndrome if been diagnosed with of 10% chance of abnormalities?

msmonique24 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Please do not end this baby's life. There are families on waiting list to adopt babies with down syndrome!!! Sometimes they are only very mildly affected by this disability. They go to college, get married etc. Sometimes they are more effected and have the iq of a five year old. Guess what?!? My five year old looves his life and is happy as can be.Whatever the case, these children can have very fulfilling lives. CHOOSE ADOPTION!!!

cruzsmommy19 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Yes you can have an abortion in late 2nd trimester. I am so sorry that all of these people are attacking you...first off they don't live your life and secondly I am sure a decision like that is hard enough without people being rude. I am pregnant with my 2nd child and my 1st child who is 10 has special needs. My 10 year old has Fragile X Syndrome and I see the struggles she goes through everyday. As a parent of a special needs child I understand why you might be considering abortion. No one could ever know what it is like to have a child with special needs unless they do have one. I know DS differs from Fragile X but it is still a form of mental retardation and neither have a cure. I definatly considered abortion when I found out the baby I am carrying now will also have Fragile X Syndrome and the emotions I went through no one can ever understand. Having a child with special needs is absolutely difficult but it also has it's positives. I will pray for you as you and every woman who has to make the difficult decision to terminate or not b/c I know it's the hardest decision you will ever make. More people should learn to only comment on something you have actually gone through. Everyone is going to have an opinion but not everyone actually knows what it is like to make a decision such as the one you are faced with. If you want to chat more about this please let me know and we can chat privately. Good luck.

Ericalovesbabies |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

how does that saying go? ...those who live in glass houses...I'm embarrassed for all you mommies/soon to be mommies posting about how "horrid" and "grotesque" this question is. You have no idea of another persons situation or complication. I could spew out some perfect scenarios for aborting a child who's at high risk for down syndrome or another birth defect, but maybe what you need is for someone else to judge you as easily as you seem to be judging the person who would potentially raise this issue.

SarahHenningfield |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Talk about disgust! I cannot believe the judgmental, ugly people on here! The woman that posted this question is asking a question that millions of women ponder. 95% of down syndrome children are terminated! What horrible people to judge this poor woman going through an already difficult time.

m13journey |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I too, am shocked by all of the judgemental, unsupportive comments on this board. Just because some of you would choose to bring a child into this world with a severe handicap, doesn't mean that every woman would choose to do the same. Almost 95% of all DS fetuses are aborted, so before you make comments like this to a woman already in a bad situation, you should reflect upon all of your own life choices first.

AshleyJill |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I HAVE TO SAY THIS FIRST & FOREMOST: We are not God, We cannot judge one for what they do, We should not be able to take a life unless we would want someone to take our very own lives. With this being said Could I sacrifice a life because it's not of one in the publics eye "PERFECT" Simply put No. Would I? Simply put NO. Why because I know a lot of so called "normal" people & I would definitely choose not to be around. Life is yes based on choices. Why would you want to take a choice from a human being that can be happy, socially compatible, socially interactive, and be one of the most loving & enjoyable "normal" people you would know when given a chance. As far as what would fit someones lifestyle I find the highly arguable I can safely say 75 - 80% of today's population are accidental births & yes this probably means you that is reading this too. Most of the U.S. population were not planned as babies and grow to be what ever they are. There could have been a massacre of abortions going on here. Speaking of which there are hundreds of incomplete couples wanting a family & can't for one reason or another if you don't want your child for what ever reason give them yours most opt for brand new babies & won't care if there is a so called problem with the child they just want a family to call their very own. As you can tell yes I'm completely disgusted with the question at hand there are other alternatives to aborting what could have been a HEALTHY CHILD as well these tests are not 100% conclusive to their results. The Medical industry is not God why play with His Gift to you wanted Unexpected or not, There are so many of these babies" thrown away" when actuality they could have been NOT DS Babies. I'm done I've said more than my peace. Agree or disagree with me isn't what you should be wrestling with it should be your conscious you should be talking & debating to & with.

AmyStewart72 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

I personally will never be able to abort my baby, i just cant, my husband and i decided that whatever God gave us is a blessing and i did not take any test to show if my baby was going to have DS, I work for the school district and so does my mother and we both work with kids with special needs not just DS but other disabilities as well and I see parents abandon their kids with a special need and other people have to support theses poor babys that are not even theirs and it breaks my heart to knowpeople are like that. I love my baby girl no matter what and nothing is gonna change that and since the moment i knew i was pregnant i loved her and its a shame some people don't appreciated the miracle God gave them. I Do know we all have a choice, however God will not give us something we couldn't handle

marig666 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

People who terminate their pregnancies early due to chromosomal abnormalities- especially Down Syndrome- absolutely disgust me. It's considered "selfish convenience". Adults with Down syndrome overwhelmingly report being happy with themselves and their lives. Family members also report being happier, and feeling that they’ve become a better person thanks to their relative with Down syndrome. Medical advancements have given people with Down syndrome life expectancies close to that of the typical population, and made the common health issues that come with Down syndrome extremely manageable. Most adults with Down syndrome go to school, hold jobs, and have relationships, and many get married and live on their own. The quality of life argument doesn’t hold water. The abortion isn’t for the sake of the child; it’s for the sake of the parent. They don’t want an inconvenient child, a baby who may require them to work a little harder than they planned.

Getzy512 |

Q&A: Down syndrome termination?

Wow! Lots of judgement here. The decision to terminate is ultimately up to you, but I'd suggest alternative options instead. Doctors can be wrong. I had them telling me my daughter would be born with DS and she's perfectly NORMAL. Some people can't handle the burden of a disabled child. In this instance I would suggest giving the child up for adoption if you feel you can't raise the child. This would prevent any risks to your health and allow the child to grow up in a loving home with those that can and are willing to take care of him/her.

folc4evernaday |