CircleBumpCheckedFilledMedicalBookmarkBookmarkTickBookmarkAddCheckBoxCheckBoxFilled

How to Prepare for a Gender Surprise

Don't know if it's a boy or girl? You can still start prepping for baby's arrival! Here’s what you need to know when you don’t know baby's gender.
save article
profile picture of Anisa Arsenault
By Anisa Arsenault, Associate Editor
Updated May 13, 2020
Hero Image
We have included third party products to help you navigate and enjoy life’s biggest moments. Purchases made through links on this page may earn us a commission.

Clothes

No need to worry that you don’t have a stash of little dresses or sporty tees ready to go, says Amy E. Goodman, lifestyle editor at Zulily.com: “I didn’t find out the gender during either of my pregnancies and learned that you don’t lose any time in preparations for baby.” The key, she says, is to stock up on basic onesies in gender-neutral colors—you’ll use these the most in the beginning and your newborn will be in these itty-bitty clothes for such a short while. Plus, those gender-neutral options can be used down the road for new siblings. Going shopping with baby to get your fix of blue or pink is also something to look forward to. “I was eager to shop, and it was the perfect excuse to get out and take baby for a stroll,” Goodman recalls.

Nursery

Lucky for you, gender-neutral colors are extremely popular for nurseries right now, especially gray, which looks great when you mix together different shades and patterns of it. Whether you want a modern, minimalist design or something more whimsical, there are multiple creative ways to paint and decorate the space without gendering it. “I decided on a light green for the lower half of the wall to represent grass, and a sky blue for the upper half, which we dotted with white puffy clouds,” Goodman says. And the best part about a neutral space is you can quickly and easily add more feminine or masculine touches, like some adorable wall decals, once baby comes along.

Watch, Popular Unisex Baby Names:

Baby Shower

While you won’t be able to throw an all-pink princess-themed or all-blue baseball-themed shower, that doesn’t mean you’ll miss out, says Goodman. “When you go public with your decision not to find out, your family and friends will likely tailor their clothing-related gifts in shades of cream, white, yellow and gray. I had a beautiful stockpile of options well into the third and six months of my baby’s life.” Plus, there are plenty of gender-neutral toys, books and baby gear available these days, so guests will have lots of gift options. Even better, not knowing gives you a unique opportunity to have some fun with the gender suspense—serve two cakes (one blue and one pink) and set up a gender prediction board so guests can cast their votes.

Names

True, the uncertainty might mean double work deciding what to call baby, but you can avoid it by choosing a gender-neutral name—which is totally a hot trend right now. Inspiration can strike anywhere, so pay attention to names you hear on the radio, read in a book, see on a street sign or even hear in line at the store. Looking for a unique middle name? Your maiden name may be a viable option whether baby is a boy or a girl.

Health

Even if you’re carrying high and convinced it’s a girl, know where you stand on the big decision that comes along with boy territory—circumcision. There are both benefits and risks to the procedure, but because it’s not essential to baby’s health, the American Academy of Pediatrics says the choice is ultimately up to you. Since circumcision is usually done during the first few days or weeks of his life, talk to your OB and/or pediatrician in advance to get all the facts you need to decide.

You

Let’s be honest: You probably have some preconceived hopes about gender, or general expectations about raising boys versus girls. But now’s the time to let those go, says clinical psychologist Shoshana Bennett, PhD. “It’s that idealized picture of what the future and your family should look like that causes disappointment in the first place,” she explains. Gender disappointment, however, is completely normal, so don’t beat yourself up about it. “It’s okay to have these feelings, and it doesn’t mean you won’t be a good parent to this child,” says Bennett. “The bonding and closeness will happen, and don’t forget, you know nothing about that little person who pops out of you. Your son may be a poet and your daughter may love football. When you let go of expectations, you can allow things to unfold more freely.”

save article
ADVERTISEMENT

Next on Your Reading List

Ashley Iaconetti and Jared Haibon with their son Dawson
Bachelor Stars Ashley Iaconetti & Jared Haibon Reveal Their Baby's Sex
By Wyndi Kappes
creative-baby-gender-reveal-ideas-HERO
32 Gender Reveal Ideas We Love
By Martina Garvey
family hosting gender reveal party surrounded by pink confetti signifying baby girl
5 Irresistibly Cute Gender Reveal Party Ideas
By Rose Walano
ADVERTISEMENT
happy pregnant woman in white dress posing in front of flowers and shrubbery
18 Baby Shower Hostess Gifts to Show Your Gratitude
By Emma O'Regan-Reidy
mom and baby sitting in grass during springtime
The Best Amazon Big Spring Sale Deals for the Whole Family
By Emma O'Regan-Reidy
Pregnancy Books-hero
The Best Pregnancy Books to Answer Your Next 9+ Months of Questions
By Martina Garvey
group of women having fun at baby shower party
53 Fun Baby Shower Games You’ll Actually Want to Play
By Rose Walano
ADVERTISEMENT
Actress Gabourey Sidibe in the "Talk Less" episode of EMPIRE on FOX
Precious Star Gabourey Sidibe Is Expecting Twins With Brandon Frankel
By Wyndi Kappes
Convertible Infant Car Seat and Compact Stroller System with Base
The Doona Car Seat & Stroller, Reviewed by Two Moms
By Emma O'Regan-Reidy
Best Baby Playpens Hero
9 Best Baby Playpens to Keep Little Explorers Safe
By Emma O'Regan-Reidy
ADVERTISEMENT
Hero-mini-adulting-products
Bye-Bye Baby Vibes: 9 Trendy Products for Your Mini-Me
By Elizabeth Nelson
Stroller Hero
Mom of a 2-Month-Old Put the Nuna MIXX Next Stroller to the Test
By Martina Garvey
snoo smart sleeper bassinet on sale rental 2022
Get the Cult-Favorite SNOO for 25 Percent Off Right Now
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
Sarah Snook accepts the Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series award for “Succession” onstage during the 75th Primetime Emmy Awards at Peacock Theater on January 15, 2024 in Los Angeles, California.
Succession’s Sarah Snook Dedicates Emmy Win to Her Daughter
By Wyndi Kappes
mother using laptop while sitting next to baby in pack and play
The Best Pack and Plays and Playards, Tested by Active Kiddos
By Lauren Levinson
mom and baby in nursery room
6 Hottest Nursery Trends to Look Out for in 2024
By Nehal Aggarwal
mother buckling baby into infant car seat
The 9 Best Infant Car Seats, Based on Parent Testing
By Elizabeth Narins
ADVERTISEMENT
mockingbird single to double stroller
Mockingbird Single-to-Double Stroller Review From Mom of Two
By Martina Garvey
tb-snoo-smart-sleeper-bassinet-review-HERO
One Mom’s Honest Review of the SNOO Smart Sleeper Bassinet
By Emma O'Regan-Reidy
pregnant woman choosing paint color for nursery walls
Six of 2024's Hottest Colors to Incorporate Into Baby’s Nursery
By Wyndi Kappes
ADVERTISEMENT
Article removed.
Article removed.
Name added. View Your List