what's hot around the web

you asked...

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my baby at 8 weeks’ gestation. That was three months ago and everyone keeps telling me that I should try to get pregnant again. I just don’t feel ready. Is that normal?

Re: I lost my baby at 8 weeks’ gestation. That was three months ago and everyone keeps telling me that I should try to get pregnant again. I just don’t feel ready. Is that normal?

The Bump Expert

Absolutely. Having a miscarriage can be a heartbreaking and traumatic experience. Everyone responds differently to loss, and there is no “right” way to grieve a lost pregnancy. Emotions can range from sadness and depression to shock, anger, and guilt. You may feel as if you are somehow to blame for your loss (no matter how many times you are reassured that you’re not), or very apprehensive about trying to conceive again. These strong feelings can also make it difficult for you to sleep or eat; to concentrate on work, reading, or hobbies you previously enjoyed; or to be around other people.

Give yourself the time you need to grieve. Seek help from your partner, a close friend or family member, a support group (online or off), or a therapist.

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost a baby last year at 20 weeks. It was my first pregnancy and everything seemed normal. When I went in for my ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby, they couldn't find the heartbeat. Me and my husband were devestated. My doctor saw how hard we took the news and told us that while it was safe to start trying again immediatly, that he thought it might be better for our mental health if we waited. We waited 6 months before starting to try again and concieved about 11 months after the loss. No one can tell you when you are ready to try again except for you, you'll just know. And just FYI, it is very scary, so at some point you just have to jump.

tdc2001 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

YES iT iS NORMAL..i LOST MI TWiN BOYS AT 18-19 WEEKS..Mi WATER BROKE 2 EARLY N DA BABY WAS READY TA COME OUT..3DAYS LATA i HAD Mi OTHA SON AT 19 WEEKS EXACTLY..DiS HAPPENED TA ME LAST WEEK..N i NOE HA iT FEEL TA LOOSE A CHiLD LiKE DAT..JUST iMAGiNE LOOSiNG 2 AT DA SAME Ti ME..HOPEFULLY THiNGS WiLL GET BETTA N iF U CAN JUST LET iT HAPPEN..CUZ iT LOOK LiKE WHEN U PLAN U END UP MiSCARRYiNG..EVEN DOE Mi BOYS WERE TOTALLY UNEXPECTED...BUT STiLL WANTED..NO1 CAN TELL U WHEN UR READY BUT U.BCUZ iTS UR BODY N UR EMOTiONS ON DA LiNE..

doubledoss |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I was 8 weeks on the day that I lost my baby. That was in March,2009. I was told that I could try again after my 2nd monthly . I started having my monthly again in May but nothing seems to be right,they have not been on time since before I got pregnant. I have been told that things are fine but things just don't feel right. I feel like I am bloated all the time and that it is getting worse every week,even when I have my monthly the bloating doesn't change.It just keeps getting worse I don't know if it is something that u go threw or what. The only other miscarriage that I have had was when I was pregnant with my son and I lost his twin at 9 weeks , But I carried my son to term so I'm not sure what is going on. I have been thinking about trying again but I'm just not sure it is the right time. The bloating feels like what a pregnancy would with the growing, but they tell me I lost the baby . I am so confused . Is this something u are suppose to go threw?

MonicaC3 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Absolutely that's normal! We lost our little one at almost 12 weeks in January this year and even though we had the go ahead from our doctor to start really trying again after only one cycle neither of us really felt ready until a couple of monthes back. Sometimes miscarriage is really understood and a lot of people have a hard time understand that even though you may not have gotten to hold your little one, it is still a loss and you need time to grieve and let your body heal after that. I am so sorry for all of you ladies' losses MonicaC3 I would say to go and see your doctor again, and let them know about it in as much detail as you can. Maybe even ask for a second opinion. That being said, it sometimes takes monthes and monthes for our bodies to get back to normal after a loss and so this could just be your body's way of healing and getting ready for when you are ready to try again. Everybody is different unfortunately when it comes to a loss and so there is never a concrete idea of what should happen and what isn't normal after one. I hope things get better for you soon

PrettyStixx |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

It is absolutely normal. I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks in March of this year. The baby stopped growing at 6 weeks and at my first appointment, they told me during an ultrasound. It was absolutely devastating. They told us to wait for a full cycle and we could start trying. Honestly, we didnt share the news with anyone but the medical office. We didn't want our friends and family pitying us. We got pregnant the end of June. i am now 11 weeks tomorrow and still as nervous as ever, but so far so good. The heart beat is strong and we are thinking positive. No one can tell you what to do or how to feel, you just need to do what feels right for you. Good luck and you are in my thoughts!

karacutting |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

yes it is normal. I had a miscarraige back in march 2009 at five weeks. it was my first totally unexpected. so when i miscarried I was so sad about it. I never thought that I would want to get pregant again after going through it. So only you will know when the time is right. Good luck

twonicelady |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

It's absolutely normal...we lost our baby at 18 weeks this past April (2009) and we were devestated. My doctor recommended we wait 3 months before even considering trying again, put me on birth control which got my cycle going again and on time...we started trying right at the 3 month mark because I was so amazed at what I had created in 4 months that I couldn't wait to see and hold what I could create in 9...we got pregnant immediately and are now 9 weeks today. I still cry over losing my daughter but know that this baby will always have a part of her. You will find the strength to move forward - it's not easy, but when it's right for you, you'll know. Hugs to you all - I hate that anyone has to go through the pain we've experienced.

choirmommy |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

We found out today that we lost our baby at almost 8 weeks. I saw the heart beating strong on Monday, and today I started to bleed. Word cannot describe our heartbreak. I feel like I should apologize to my husband for my body not allowing the baby to stick around. The doctor said the percentage of hormone decrease showed signs of Downs Syndrome. It was my body knowng what was best for me. I feel sad and shocked right now. That heartbeat is still in my head. I know that tomorrow will just a tough since my procedure is scheduled then. I'll have the weekend, and then back to my 3rd grade class of babies. My birthday is next Friday as well. My husband is so supportive and reminds me that we will always have each other. We found each other for a reason. We'll have another try at having the perfect baby. For now, we just get have fun trying again.

ria925 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

It is absolutely NORMAL. It looks as though March 2009 was the month for miscarriages because that is when I had mine. It hurt like hell and April was a completely BLUR. The doctor told me I could start soon after also, but I wasn't emotionally ready. I am currently 7 week and 3 days pregnant and I have my first appointment tomorrow. I still think that I am ready but not ready.....I guess it will just take time to get used to.....but I am very optimistic.....;o)

disneymomma |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just found out this morning by baby had no heartbeat during a routine check up. I am 13.4 weeks along and I am devastated. I am scheduled for the D&E at 6AM tomorrow. This was my first miscarriage and while I am still in shock I am determined to have a baby. Thank you for sharing your stories...I don't feel so alone and empty. There is hope.

sunshinenva |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

We lost our baby at 9 1/2 weeks. I had a D&C and the doctor told us to wait 2 full cycles. We could have started trying this month but I wasn't ready just yet. I think we will try again next month. In the meantime we got a Clear Blue Easy digital monitor so I can start tracking my cycle again.

jfassburg |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Hope after miscarriage. I miscarried in March 09 at 8 weeks. I had been carrying twins, then at 8 weeks, we saw one on the ultrasound, with no heartbeat. I remember thinking, "this is what a broken heart feels like." After approximately 6 months I am pregnant again, and very happy. I will not hold my past fears onto this new child. Yes, I am scared ( my first appt is next Mon.), but having a miscarriage has bonded my husband and I even closer, and I know who my true friends are, the ones that supported and loved me through my grief, and heavn forbid, will do it again. Ladies we are in a "sorority" of sorts and I can't read enough of everyone's positive feelings and support.

carsoncwalker |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Hello Ladies, I have read all of your answers and I want to tahnk you because I don't feel alone. I lost my 1st child Oct. 09 and I had a D&E done...it was the saddest feeling in the world that I can go into a hospital pregnant and come out not...I was devastated because I was so happy to be pregnant and on top of all this my sister and I (we are 13 months apart in age) were pregnant at the same time. It's been a year and I still cry at least once a week. After I had this done I did not get my monthly cycle for 2 months and then started bleeding one week yes and one week no,,,in other works I was bleeding 2 weeks out of 4 weeks of every month...I am currently pregnant 1 year later and am having different problems with this pregnancy I am spotting and on major bed rest. The doctor gave me medication at 6 weeks and the bleeding stop now I am 13 weeks pregnant and the spotting has started again I am going for the first ultrasound in 2 days and I am so terrified of the results....I read all of your stories and began to cry it is so hard to decribe a loss like this, I almost feel like no one what I was feeling....I will just have to wait 2 more days.....

babybaking09 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I didnt know whether I should post but I was motivated after reading these stories. I lost my baby yesterday at 8.5 weeks. I started spotting on Sunday and bleeding and cramping by Wednesday. Thankfully I was in so much pain I decided to leave work and go home at lunch. By 3p my baby was passed. I was so relieved physically yet so emotionally drained. I refused to go to the hospital and was instead forced to by my DH and cousin. For the past 24 hours I have not taken one phone call and my mom is no exception...I am just not ready to talk. No one knows what to say to you and some just make you want to cry all over again. I've decided that we are going to try again as soon as we can. Thanks ladies for making the past 17 hrs tolerable.

JerushaLyn |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Here I am...2 months since I miscarried our baby at 8wks. We are trying again and although I'm still excited about the prospect of getting pregnant, it's not quite as fun as the first time! Also, my sister turned out to be only 4 days off my due date, so it has been difficult dealing with the jealousy. I'm so happy for her (just found out today that she's having a girl), but it's a constant reminder of how far a long I would have been. I know that God has a plan for me and my husband and I trust in Him fully. It still hurts sometimes though.

Rock & Roll |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just lost my baby last saturday at almost nine weeks pregnant. It was so painful and terrifying to have absolutely no control of what was going on with my body and with our baby. I had extremely painful cramps on Friday with light spotting, then Saturday morning everything was fine and to my surprise later in the day, the cramps came back and I started to bleed. The bleeding went on for about an hour, then everything just stopped. It was so hard because I had no idea what was going on, because my Dr. had hopes that I didn't miscarry because of the type of bleeding I had. I finally found out three days later when I had an ultrasound. Those were the worst three days! I went in expecting the worst hoping for an amazing surprise but there was nothing on my ultrasound, everything completely emptied out. My husband and I are devasted and I know there was nothing I could have done to prevent this but I almost wish that I could have at least heard a heartbeat. It was just like there was never anything there, like it never happened. I just wanted to thank everyone for their posts, it has been very helpful to read about other experiences when I have felt alone for the past week.

LaurenS1204 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

It is normal for that to happen. I just lost my baby 3 days ago right before Thankgiving. I was only 7 weeks and 3 days. I had an extremely light spotting and didn't think that was too much to worry about, so I took a shower and talked to my mom. My stomach had been cramping a little bit that day, and we decided to check up on it. We called my doctor and his wife. They told me to stay in bed with my feet propped up, drink nothing but fluids, and see how I was in the morning. I had even quit spotting by then. When I got out of bed to go to the bathroom, however, blood just started gushing out of me. There was no sign of anything wrong, but they said that if I was going to miscarry, there was no stopping it. It would just happen. Once I was at the hospital, the doctors told me my hormones levels had dropped tremendously and that my ultrasound showed an empty uterus. I screamed and cried for the longest time. I had known I was pregnant for barely even 2 weeks. It's still hard to eat and not be depressed about everything. I want to try again soon because now I want a baby so bad. But I understand how you feel because even my boyfriend is cautious about it. He doesn't feel ready for it because he's terrified of it happening again. It would just devastate us to go through that one more time. It hurts, but hopefully one day you will be ready to try. It just takes time to get past the fear and the hurt. Good luck though

Alysha97 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my baby on 9/23/09 at exactly 7 weeks and have had much the same reactions as Alysha97. While I was at the hospital I told my husband I didn't think I could go through this again but soon after I had the strong urge to get pregnant again. I can definitely understand not wanting to get pregnant again right away. Everyone is different and you need to do what is best for you. It's been almost 3 months since my miscarriage and we're about to start trying again but I'm also just now seeking out counseling which I think is a good idea for everyone that has been through this kind of trauma.

vlewis515 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Apparently, it is very common. When I went to have my ultrasound done there was another girl that had miscarried and my doctor had told me that when I had first called her, she had about five other women call because they were in the early stages of miscarriage. Since my last post my husband and I have discussed when we shoud try again and we haven't come up with a definite answer about when we are going to actually try again. So our "plan" is to do nothing to prevent it from happenening and if it does happen great and if not that's ok too. The baby that I just lost was not planned and we actually didn't plan on starting a family for another year or so, but now that we have experienced that elated feeling and the planning and everything that goes with it, we want it again. So I cant completely relate to what Alysha97 was saying. And to respond to Vlewis515, my husband has actually reccommended me talking to a counselor because I get slightly depressed whenever I discuss one of my friends that is pregnant or we see my sisters 4 month old. One of my best friends actually found out she was pregnant the day I miscarried so while I'm thrilled for her I get a little upset when she talks about whats going on... Hopefully everything will work out and GOOD LUCK to everyone.

LaurenS1204 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

OMG Laruens1204! We have been through almost the same situation! My husband and I weren't trying either! We've been married for 4 1/2 years and never really did anything to prevent pregnancy but were never worried about it either. We kind of figured whatever happened would happen. I had kind of gotten to the point that I didn't think we'd be able to get pregnant and was becoming ok with that thought when I found out I was pregnant! We were both over the moon about it and then I miscarried. Now a friend of mine from work is pregnant and it has been hard. She knows the situation and yet still wants to overly discuss it around me. Her personality is such that you know she's aiming it at me a little bit. That's just her. She actually told me when I announced my pregnancy at 6 weeks that I shouldn't have announced it so early "in case something happened" and told me that she was jealous of me. I should mention she announced her pregnancy about 2 weeks ago at 4 weeks gestation...hmmm...So it's been a strained relationship right now! My hubby also recommended I go to a counselor since it happened, he's been very worried!

vlewis515 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

LOL Vlewis515, how funny. My friend actually isn't that bad. She actually didn't even want to tell me that she was pregnant becasue she felt so bad, but I could tell something was going on and kind of forced it out of her. She had been trying for months and was so thrilled when it happend that I couldn't be mad at her for wanting to tell people about it. And she still feels bad about telling me anything. She never volunteers information about whats going on I always have to bring it up for her to talk about it. I know she is nervous that the same thing might happen to her and that she might hurt my feelings by talking about her pregnancy, but I'm so happy for her that it kind of makes me mad that she thinks I couldn't be happy for her but I'm also glad that I have a friend that is so concerned with my feelings. As far as the counseling, I don't know how I feel about the whole thing. I think that if my husband and I have open conversations about what happened our concerns for future pregnancies and pretty much just talking to each other that should be good enough. But he is overly concerned with the whole thing so I feel like he is watching my every move and mood to see if he should puch the counseling thing. Well we'll see what happens.

LaurenS1204 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

We had our first OB appointment yesterday and there wasn't a heartbeat. They said that the baby stopped growing 2 weeks ago. Yesterday I was in total denial. Today I am sad and angry. I still haven't actually miscarried. We are going back in on Thursday if nothing has happened naturally. Thank you for sharing all of your stories. It has helped.

KLeigh812 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

like everyone is saying, you are allowed to feel whatever you want or need to feel. We lost our baby 9-25-09 at only 6 weeks, and I still get angry sometimes.I will still look in the mirror and think "I should have the baby belly now" and it is still very hard. We are ttc again but I still have some fears about losing the next baby. We really want to be parents, but I don't think I can handle another loss. Let yourself feel your emotions, and remember that no one can tell you how to feel

numberonechica |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

i had lost my baby it was 10 weeks old an its been 4 months an i am emotionally. My husband an i are trying again but im scared what if i miscarriage again?

jamieR90 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just got home from the doc about an hour ago - found out I miscarried last night. I was 7w3d. No matter what, your first thot is 'why me?' There are many people out there who don't even want a baby and give it up or even worse, they have no idea how good they have it, yet you're laying in bed with tears flowing down your face and maybe inconsolable. I have yet to go to the doc again on Wed to test my hormone levels, but after getting an ultrasound and not seeing anything inside, I've figured the baby to be gone. One way I look at this is that either my body or God (or whoever your higher power may be) knew that something wasn't right, and instead of handing me what I couldn't handle, I was saved from any further pain down the road. As badly as it hurts and as disappointed as I am, I will try again, and I will hopefully have a healthy, strong baby. In the mean time, I will cry and I will hurt, I will grieve and then I will move on when I'm supposed to. The next one that comes along with be a blessing and I will be happy. It's just going to be a tough road for whoever goes thru this for the first bit, but know that someone is always looking out for you. Keep your head up - you are stronger than you think - and you will get thru this. So will I. You have a great partner, otherwise you wouldn't have taken the step toward a family...My husband is amazing and I know I can count on him to help me. Good luck to all that try again & hopefully I'll see some posts in the 1st Trimester, 2nd and 3rd later on down the road.

dngetz |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

i lost my lil girl at 18 weeks....and i had to go thru it all alone, her dad wanted nothing to do with me after and my family wanted to pretend it never happened, be thankful u have all the support you have ladies....i wish i had it.....i have a bf now who is amazing but im still afraid after all this time to try again, i havent told him about her im not sure if i should, but he wants a baby badly.....sometimes i think about her and the tears start fallin again as tho it was jus yesterday, everytime he brings up the topic of us having a family i try to change the subject but there is only so much running i can do from it.....but reading all ive read tonight has made me feel better about trying again....thanks ladies :)

pisceanmellie |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I miscarried at 14 weeks about 4 weeks ago now. I have been through a whole range of emotions since then...almost everything listed in the expert response. Does anyone else get upset when someone who hasn't miscarried tells you that its perfectly normal and then lists off a bunch of women they know who have miscarried? I don't know why, but that bothers me. Anyways, this is a terrible thing to go through. I think I'm over it, then I break down at the strangest times. My advice is this is your time now, make your decisions for yourself. Don't ignore good advice, but seriously, if your doctor says wait and you don't want to, then ignore him/her. If a relative starts pestering you about when you'll get pregnant again, let them know in the kindest way possible it is none of their business. One more bit of advice, the one thing that keeps me sane...especially the first few days after the loss...is helping others. I do it for a living, but if you don't have that luxury, find someone to help. It really helps remove you from the pain for a while. God bless you.

marin8da |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I miscarried at 7w3d as well. It was back in November and we found out the week before Thanksgiving. It was such a shock because I was feeling fine and at our first appointment we went in for an ultrasound and that's when we found out. We were devastated. And I agree with dngetz...your first thought is "why me?" and then you think about all those people who don't want to be pregnant but are, and it makes it even harder. Personally, I can't wait to start trying again but that is definitely a something that is different for every person. Good luck to all of you and God Bless!

brendaY |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

You have to do what is right for you. Just don't ever lose hope! We lost our baby at 9 weeks (although I didn't know until 12 weeks). We started trying as soon as we could. No success yet, but we are only on the second month of TTC. I know I'll be worried when/if I get pregnant again, but I know I have to try. But, I completely understand wanting to wait a long time. It was the worst pain I have ever gone through, both emotionally and physically. Take all the time you need.

moonmermaid83 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I found out I was pregnant last Sunday, and miscarried on Wednesday at 5 weeks. I started having increased cramping, similar to period cramping though, and then was having the bright red blood, but not a terrible amount. Once they tested my HCG level it determined that I lost it. I was so upset and cried for two days, and am still feeling depressed. I really wanted this baby, and am now frightened that it will happen again. Tomorrow I have to have an ultrasound to determine if I "expelled" it, and that will determine whether I have to have a D&C. It is such an overwhelming loss, and is hard to deal with. I somehow feel that i let my husband down as well as my family. I know that isnt true, but its hard to think that somehow I could have prevented this. I need to have my grieving time and then we will try again. My doctor says that I can start trying again right away, but Im just trying to determine how long we should wait, since Im not sure when I will be back on schedule with my cycle. I have no idea when my next cycle will be now. Im really glad that I read this, I no longer feel so alone with this. I wish everyone the best, and I am encouraged to know that several people got pregnant right away after miscarrying. This has let me relax, thankyou!

angpang5 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Thank you for all the posts. I miscarried last night at 8 wk 3 days. I had been spotting for 3 weeks but had had 2 ultrasounds showing a good strong heartbeat, last one at 7 wk 1 day. It definitely hurts but I know it has happened for a reason and am excited to try again when we're ready. Thankfully I have a great husband who is supportive and we will get through this as will all of you!

edna8432 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

My husband and I lost our baby on Christmas this year.. I was 22 weeks pregnant. We didn't know quite how far along I was due to the fact that I had had one dr. app and they only took a history and, I had no clue when exactly my last period was ( I spotted until my 3rd month and gained little weight). I started having cramping Christmas Eve and At the end of the night some spotting. We went straight to the E.R. after that but by the time we got there I was fully dilated and ready to deliver. There was nothing they could do for the baby. He wasn't considered viable yet. It was absolutely THE hardest thing I've ever been through and I am so sorry for everyone that has been through this. I'll admit that I wanted to try again right away.. Sometimes I still do but, I'm not ready and I don't think my husband is either. We still need to take time to grieve our baby and no future children will ever replace him.. Just take your time, enjoy where you are right now in life and where you're going. The time will come when it will be absolutely right for you to try again and, you'll know when that is.

EdenLee |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just went in today for my prenatal check up at 11 weeks and found out there wasn't a heartbeat. I haven't been able to stop crying all day... I have been talking to my step mom (she said she went through this 5 times) but it doesn't make it any easier. I have a follow up scheduled for the day after tomorrow but I dont know what they're going to find. I haven't scheduled a D&C but im scared to have this happen naturally at home... Im really torn and scared. but I feel like after this I will be ready to try again (scared, but ready) as soon as we're allowed. I saw on the "how big is baby" chart that the baby would have been about the size of a lime and im a big fan of tattoos... if this follows through and I do lose the baby for sure I am going to go get a tattoo of a lime... I think it will help me heal and recover from this... other ladies posting on here, thanks for all of your stories. although they were hard to read they were helpful, and I hope that I can help someone going through the same thing as well...

funnelcake_fashion |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

After losing my second child at 10 weeks on July 31, 2009, I was absolutely devestated. I started bleeding one evening, and my midwife told me to come in the next morning for an emergency ultrasound. She was using an older machine and said the baby didn't look 10 weeks so she wanted to use the new big machine. After looking on there, we found no heartbeat and the baby was about 7.5 weeks in size. I cried so much. The baby wasn't planned but I wanted it very badly. As of today, I would be 37 weeks, and it tears me up inside to know that my "due date" is coming up in just a few short weeks. I don't know how I will handle waking up that morning or if I will even feel different. But I know now that what happened was probably for the best, and one day I will get to see and hold my baby in Heaven. God has a plan for everything and I have to trust Him to know what's best. I hope to try for another baby by the end of this year, but we will see what life has in store. Don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't grieve or that you've been grieving for too long. It was a child you lost, and it will always hold a special place in your heart.

blaineshoney |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Okay so i found out i was preg in Nov 09, and in jan 2010 i found out that i was carring twins and that there was no heartbeats fro either baby. I was so hurt. I really wanted both babies to be okay. I was 13 weeks along and babies only measured at 8w4d. I am still really emotional and it has been almost a month since i misscarried but i also had complications with that as well. I was told by my doc that i could misscarry at home and be okay well that was not the case i was lucky to have my mom with me while all this was going on. It was a very weird feeling to be able to see you babies so tiny and lifeless. But i was lucky that i did get to see them before i passed out and had to be rushed to the ER where they had to do a D&C since i was still bleeding and it had been 3 hours straight. My mom was so scared that i was going to die. But i can tell you even though i am emotional i do know that i want another baby and that once everything has settled down and i move into my new place that i will start trying again. in the mean time it is just a live it day by day and make it though.

ldynightsun |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I can definitely empathize with many of you. Yesterday, my husband and I lost our baby that was about 7 1/2 weeks. I started having some spotting on Saturday and Sunday, then Tuesday started having some abdominal cramping. It just got worse as the day went on...almost like menstrual cramps. I finished work early that day (thank goodness) and before I left I went to the bathroom and noticed I was bleeding. I called my OB (who thankfully wasn't busy) and she had me come over right away. She did an ultrasound, and there wasn't anything there except for "debris." I went home and cried and cried. A little later I used the bathroom and passed a large clump of red, blue and clear looking tissue...probably the baby. I've been bleeding a little bit, but mostly passing clumps. I'm having a follow up appointment with my OB. It was supposed to be my first pre-natal visit, so that's going to be hard. It's difficult because my husband and I have been teased for years about why weren't not having a baby...and then this happens on the first try. We really wanted to have this baby...

Kynicar |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Oh, Kynicar, I'm so sorry! I'm in the same exact position right now. I have a 'final' sono appt tomorrow morning, and then preadmission testing and a D&C scheduled for Monday, but I started bleeding right before I left work today. We are the same in that my husband and I have been together for 11 years (only married for 2) but everyone wants to know whats taking us soo long to have kids- and then this happens on the first try- its soo horrible. I just don;t want to be going through this right now. I would have been 12 weeks tomorow and baby is only measuring 8w4d, we never even got to see a heartbeat. When we first found out I felt like it wasn't real, and now its like it never happened. We'll probably wait to try again... I can't take this again so soon. Best wishes to everyone that you heal fast and feel better soon. You are not alone and thanks for the support.

LadyMalibu |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I'm also in the same position. My husband and I have been married for 2 years but have been together for almost 10. We decided to let fate take its course with getting pregnant and I got pregnant within 6 weeks of making that decision. Yesterday I decided to call my OB for a checkup because I was experiencing on and off spotting for about 7 days and they asked me to come in. The ultrasound showed that I was pregnant but there was nothing around the fetus, so they took bloodwork to check the pregnancy hormone level and I have to go back tomorrow for another round of bloodwork, however after I got home I started bleeding like a regular period and having pretty uncomfortable cramping. I've pretty much resigned to the fact that I have miscarried but will find out for sure tomorrow. I was really disappointed last night, not to mention physically feeling horrible, but my husband is so amazing and supportive, and he assured me that it just wasn't our time and that we would try again. I thought he would be really disappointed but he took it in stride and is helping me keep an optimistic attitude. Definitely good advice not to tell anyone until after the first trimester, I can't imagine having to 'un'-tell everyone.

crystalh527 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

When i found out i was pregnant it was an amazing feeling, we told everyone, something we knew we probably shouldn't have. But we were super excited. i had spotted some so we didn't even know till 5 weeks. i didn't have insurance at the time so i first had to get proof of pregnancy. With that done i got everything inline to start finding a doctor. i started bleeding around the 10th of january, at first it was a little blood, didnt have the symptoms like a miscarriage ... no cramping no pain at all, wasnt filling up a pad at all. we had an ultra sound on the 14th of january so we went. she did the wand over my tummy.. i am larger so she said it might be difficult to find a heart beat. so she had me go to the bathroom to do the internal i came back n said im bleeding again. the nurse with out even doing the other exam said oh your suffering a loss. i was histarical. my boyfriend and i then went to the hospital to find out more information i was at almost 9 weeks. was the hospital for 6 hours. tests after tests still no answer. they finally decided they were going to monitor my hormone level after 2 days the conclusion was i did miscarry. if your hormone doubles after 48 hours ur pregnancy is normal, mine dropped fast. i had a follow up with the ob she was extremely rude. and offered me the pill. apparently she doesn't think larger people should willingly get pregnant. its been a month n still no cycle. i keep having days where i just wanna try again right away, then wanting to try n loose weight... an endless battle, doesn't help when everyone shoves their pregnancy and infants in your face. its hard to even go around babies right now. and since we had told like everyone know people still congratulate us and we have to tell them n then its like everything all over again. i have a check up tomorrow n well see what they say about trying again and when im suppose to start my cycle again....

colorcrazirainbow |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just found out I had a miscarriage. I was 5 weeks. I had known about my pregnancy a week, and I was already in love with my baby. No words can described how saddened I am by this loss. I can't stop crying. I don't want to talk to anyone. Thank you for your posts, kindness, and support of others on this page that bring me comfort today.

Bergsgirl |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

DAMN YOU THEBUMP.COM!! I just miscarried on Tuesday and I've tried changing (and saving) my profile several times and yet it still keeps telling me my due date is in October and showing me how many weeks I am. How can I get it to go away???? I almost deleted my whole account but I still want my accounts on the nest and knot and I would prefer to keep this support system for when I need it. I am devasted, I am heartbroken although in some ways I am positive because it was a pleasant surprise to know I could get pregnant in the first place. We feel confident we can do this again and the support from our family and friends has been overwhelming. But please thebump.com take my due date off and stop the countdown. I don't need to be reminded that my little pumpkin is gone...

JoeAndKatie |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

2 weeks after finding out that we were pregnant, i began bleeding at work. as soon as i saw the sight of blood i knew that it was over. after many hours in the ER i was told that it was not a viable pregancy and we were crushed. the first few days were a dazy, a very numbing experiance. i miscarried on Feb 11th at 6w 4d and i finally stopped bleeding this week. my hormone levels are still dropping and i have to continue testing until they reach 0. now three weeks later i am devestated. i keep asking why, i keep imagining where the baby would be, every time i see a pregnant person i am angered and envious. which is every day because i am a social worker and i see kids and mothers all the time. all i can think is how funny life is. i feel lost and as if i can't quiet my thoughts. i have too much time on my hands, too much thinking. i hate it. i do not know what to do. next week is going to be hard, it will be a month. i hope to start feeling better but i am terrified because what if i don't start to feel better. i can't even think of trying right now because of the medicine i was given. i want the baby that was in my tummy and i don't know how to get over the fact that it is no longer there and i can't have it.

caromed2004 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

We found out we were pregnant on Feb 26th, we started to tell people because we were so excited & couldn't contain ourselves. The morning after I told people at work I started bleeding. I was 6w 2d. Went to the dr, who did blood work to check the hcg levels, & she confirmed I was miscarrying. I'm completely devastated. We weren't expecting the pregnancy, but I got used to it and started to love my baby and now I can't believe it's gone. My due date would have been Oct 27th, my mom's birthday, so I really thought it was meant to be. I guess not. I feel like I've had enough emotions in the past week to last a few months. We went from surprise to acceptance to excitement and love to complete devastation.

Tanya4318 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

What you are feeling is absolutely normal. I was 8 weeks pregnant with my second child and I lost it in July of last year. The doctor told me that we should give my body a couple of months rest before we tried again. Miscarriage is a very tough and heartbreaking experience and for me it was even harder since I had recently moved and my family and close friends live very far. I made it through thanks to my husband's support but eventhough many months have passed I still think about my baby at times. Your heart will tell you when you are ready, don't let anyone pressure you into something so delicate.

Galeagal |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I had 2 miscarriages back in 2008. One was in April and the other in August. It was kind of kept a secret so that my oldest daughter didn't know. I didn't want to upset her. My youngest wasn't even 1 at the time. But I had every emotion possible...Angry, sad, depressed, and sadly i felt guilty because i was a but relieved. It's not that I didn't want them, I just knew I m ight not be the best mother having one so soon after my youngest was born. It is definitely hard. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it. I don't break down crying anymore, but it's still upsetting. Now I am blessed to have another chance. I am currently 7 weeks pregnant but I am scared. Every little cramp or odd feeling has got me paranoid. I have nightmares of waking up in the middle of the night with blood everywhere. That's how I had both of my previous miscarriages. I'm just trying to take it easy...although easier said than done with 2 daughters, one being a terrible 2 yr old! I hope everyone has support and down the road can have that baby they always wanted. Just don't lose hope!!!

kd990710 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

it is a mystery to me the rollor coaster of emotions that we all have to go thru. i miscarried almost a month ago and i am a rainbow of emotions, ranging from very low times to not so bad ones. i really do not know what to expect from one day to the next. or even one moment to the next. do you guys feel this way?

caromed2004 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

From what I can find online and from my personal MALE experience I think that what you are feling is very much normal. Some people say to wait a few month's before trying an others say to go for it right away as you are more fertile at this time. I don't think there is any medical proof either way. The doubt will always be there I can tell you that much as I have a few friends that have gone through this prior to my wife and I. It's unfrotunate that anyone must go through this but if numbers help I've read anywhere from 1 in 3 to 1 in 6 will MC in the 1st trimester. As the doctor told us it's a suprisingly common place occurence nowadays. Getting back to your question though it's up to you and your partner to decide when the right time is to start trying again. Don't let anyone presure you into something you're just not ready for. No one can tell you when you are ready but the two of you. The key is to talk to each other go for a walk, get away for a weekend... Most important leave the internet the tv the phone the cell everything that connects you to someone else and talk to each other. That's the only way to figre it out. Hope this helps.

philgwleblanc |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I miscarried at 5 weeks yesturday. All I can think of is what must be wrong with me to make this happen. I mean, what did I do? Why did this happen to me?? It's horrible, and I have no idea how to feel about it.

alyssa_1493 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

you did nothing wrong. i did nothing wrong. these things happen and unfortunately it happened to us. i hate it and the questions never seem to go away. i would do anything to not be going thru this, but we are and we have to be strong. i have my good days and the bad which are just so very bad. i hope you (alyssa) are okay.

caromed2004 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I found out March 12th at 9.5 weeks that there was no fetus (blighted ovum). We went for our first ultrasound and the womb was empty with the exception of the sac. I know I should take joy in how quickly we became pregnant, but I am devastated by the loss. Monday I went for a D&E and that day with the distraction of being in the hospital and relief that the procedure went well, I felt better. Yesterday and today I am back to feeling empty, confused, and overwhelmingly sad. I know I just have to take it one day at a time, but it is just so difficult right now to see happier days ahead.

mverasin |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Yes. I was 8 1/2 weeks pregnant when I lost mine. Three days before our wedding we went to listen for heart beat and their wasn't one. Two days before our wedding I was scheduled for a D&C. That was my 2nd miscarriage and believe me, I am scared to try again. With this last pregnancy I was always freaked out everytime I went to the bathroom, afraid I was going to see blood. My husband and I are realistic and both believe everything happens for a reason but what sucked the most was everyone coming up to us and saying sorry about your loss.

vhostetler |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

This was my first pregnancy. A couple days ago I had some brownish discharge. We just moved and my insurance doesn't kick in until May. I called the hospital and they said not worry. I am almost 6 weeks pregnant. Today I had some mild cramping and bleeding so we went to the ER. They basically just told me that they don't know if I am miscarrying or not and I will just have to wait. I really feel like I am, since I have left the ER I have started bleeding much more and am cramping really bad. My OB is in a different town, but I am setting up an appt. with her for next week. I'm praying that everything is okay, but this is really hard.

cassondrae |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

My husband and I had a miscarriage on New Year's Eve of 2009. It was our first pregnancy and I was 8 weeks pregnant at the time. I found out I was going to miscarry at my prenatal appointment which was a week before the actually miscarriage. Apparently, the embryo stopped growing at 7 weeks. I decided to have a natural miscarriage which began on Christmas. I started to have light bleeding and discarded some tissue. On New Year's Eve morning, I woke up to extreme hemmoraging and horrible, painful cramping. My husband and I went to the ER where the doctor extracted a large tissue mass. The bleeding subsided and the ER doctor performed a vaginal ultrasound and examined my cervix. I was able to return home for expected monitoring. I had a follow up appointment with my obgyn who examined my uterus and cervix and stated I had recovered normally. The doctor stated she did not expect me to gave another miscarriage and said to start trying to become pregnant after having two or three normal periods which I have since had. My husband and I were tramatized, saddened, and at times, angry about the miscarriage. I still continue to have bouts of depression about the loss and I am scared about the future. I debated whether to post my experience, but after reading everyone's experiences and emotional journeys, I am grateful for everyone's posts and their courage to share their stories. I do not feel soo alone and take comfort in knowing there is a forum to talk about our experiences. Thank you everyone and I wish you all the best. I will continue to pray to God and leave it up to him.

bellausc10 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Hey guys, I am so sorry to hear what each of you have gone through. I miscarried last september and was the saddest girl I knew for about six months. All I can say is that I picked out one good friend who knows how to talk me through things and we met every couple of weeks. It really helped to keep talking through my new wave of emotions. Sometimes I was overwhelmingly sad and sometimes I was really angry. I have to share, cause I am very excited, I found out this weekend that I am pregnant again. I have now gone to the saddest girl in the world, to the most scared girl. I spent two hours in urgent care two days ago because of heartburn. Once again, grab a close friend, talk it out, and feel free to cry when you need it.

mchug0380 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my little girl Faith when i was 7 1/2 months pregant two weeks before that i started having pain in stomach and back i went to the hospital and they said i had a bad UTI they gave me meds never did a ultrasound and a week later i had a docs appt. with my obgyn i told him i hadnt felt her move in a while he said that was fine she was probably just cramped up still no ultrasound then a week later i started having labor pains really bad went to the hospital they then couldnt find the heartbeat and they done a ultrasound and there was no heartbeat i lost it that day i also lost a big piece of my heart i miss her badly i lost her aug 26/2009 im now pregant again and im really scared and im due the same day as i was with Faith oct 31 2010 i sometimes wonder if thats not a sign from god saying shes going okay I burried her aug 28 2009 .I really feel for anyone who has every lost a baby it is one the hardest things to deal with i felt for the longest time was it something i did i also have a 7 yr old named Destinee she was so happy she was going to have a lil sis and her birthday is also oct29 it broke her heart when i had to tell her ,her little sis wasnt coming home. There was times i wanted to give up i couldnt take the pain anymore i was tired of hurting me and my boyfriend wasnt getting along we are finally getting along better we know talk to each other about it. Just remember i know its hard to lose a baby but keep your head up and the skies will turn blue again .

Danielle63764 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just lost my baby to a miscarriage four days ago. I was supposed to be around 8 weeks at the time, but they said it looked to them as if the baby had just stopped developing. My grandmother recently passed away so im not sure if the stress of that contributed or not...but I still am just so shocked and saddened by the whole thing. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say....I keep crying and seeing all the happy pregnant people around me (no offense ladies!) really kills me. I know that I won't be ready three months from now to try again...

linz85 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my baby on Monday at 7 weeks. I was at work on Monday and started getting cramps in the early morning. They were on and off all day and I kept going to the bathroom and checking and there was nothing. Then I went to the bathroom later in the day and I was bleeding a little bit. I went to the doctor and in the ultrasound saw the empty sac and over the next 24 hours I passed more clots and blood than I have ever in my life. It is now 3 days later and I am still cramping and bleeding. Not bleeding a lot, but enough to remind me of exactly what is going on. I tried to go back to work yesterday, but I definitely was not ready. I am usually a badass when dealing with stuff, but I'm learning quickly that I can't badass my way through this. I'm going to have to be sad, angry, upset, hopeless, empty, heartbroken, and every other thing I am right now and just get through it. My husband has been absolutely amazing. What makes this so much harder and so much worse is that this happened the day after we announced to our families and friends that we were pregnant. Then we had to go back less than 24 hours later and let them know what happened. I'm having a hard time not being angry and play the 'unfair game'. It is unfair that the woman that was 7 or 8 months pregnant that walked in front of my car as I turned in to the doctor was smoking a cigarette. I did everything right and this still happened. I know that it's better for this to happen now than the baby be born unhealthy, but that doesn't make it hurt worse. I am so sorry that so many women have gone through this.

SaandJa22809 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Friday I started bleeding abd by Monday my dr was able to confirm that I had miscarried. i would have been 8 wks monday, it was our first and I am so devistated and confused, everything upsets me, people have been telling me it went to heaven, but even that doesn't give me comfort, I'm angry and confused, i did everything i thought i could and still it died. While I hate that so many of us have gone through this it helped me to read the other posts and see that I'm not alone.

heistheloveofmylife |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

May 7, 2010 I gave birth to my stillborn son. I was just about 24 weeks along. Our first baby. It has been really hard for my husband and I, though it will only be 2 weeks ago tomorrow. It helped that we got to hold him and get pictures. We named him Isaiah Job and also had a burial service for him. His grave is only a minute from our home so that also helps. Although my emotions are up and down and I miss my baby so much, I know that this is God's will and he only gives you what you can handle so I know he'll get us through this trial. I know that my Isaiah is in the arms of Jesus and I will see him again one day! I'm not sure if we will "try" right away we didn't really "try" this last time. I think we may just let happens what happens....

JNegril |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

We lost our baby at 18 weeks on our third anniversary about 2 weeks ago..one of our friends came to the hospital and gave us flowers, as I was wheeled to my room, everyone commented on how beautiful the flowers were....I kept thinking this is supposed to be a baby, not these stupid flowers....both my husband and I are pediatricians, so we see babies on a daily basis...Surprisingly I am kind of ok at work, but not so ok at night, I cry myself to sleep almost every night. Everything in our home reminds me of her. We just had the baby shower invites printed up and have all these stuffed animals. She was supposed to be the first grandchild on both sides. I just don't know what to do with myself. I feel like its so different for me than my husband. All we can say is that we know she is safe in the arms of God.

lilstar2009 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

We found out yesterday that our baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks and I was 9 weeks yesterday. We had a scan on the 7th May and everything was fine, it must have been shortly after that when something went wrong. Everybody kept telling me that it was a good sign that I was being sick 24/7 etc. I started having cramps and lost some blood yesterday afternoon and we were sent for a scan. They could not detect a heart beat and the baby had not grown from the last scan, they said I have had a missed miscarriage and I have to go back into hospital tomorow for a D & C. They have told us to wait until my 1st cycle then we can try again. The sad thing for me is that I started to show already as I am only tiny and I got up this morning and my tummy had gone down alot compared to yesterday, is this normal? I still feel numb and we told the family as we thought everything was fine after the scan we had on the 7th May. Does it get easier and why do I keep blaming myself? I stopped drinking as soon as I found out and I also stopped running as I was a keen runner, but still I've lost our baby and don't understand why???

traceymike1964 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

After 6 years of trying to conceive (fertility treatment and assistance) and being unsuccessful, we found out on Monday, May 25th that we were pregnant. We were told by doctors that it would be impossible for us to conceive on our own. We did it! We weren't trying, it just happened. My husband and I have been married for almost 9 years. So you can imagine much to our surprise we were overly ecstatic! This was a miracle from God right? After telling all our friends and family, I find our after an emergency trip to the ER (Friday May 29th) that my HCG levels have dropped and I am miscarrying our miracle. I am fighting with my emotions as this is unbearable! I went back to the doctor to test my HCG level and my levels are continuing to drop. So my body is terminating my pregnancy naturally. I think that is the hardest part, knowing my child is in my belly dying and I just have to wait until my body flushes it out of me. How do you cope with that? This just seems so horrible! I am experiencing light bleeding, SEVERE cramping and SEVERE bloating. I do not know how far along I was, but does it really matter? A loss is a loss, and my 1st child is dying. My child that I thought was my miracle baby. I don't know how to cope or how to stop the pain. I sympathize with all of you and find a little comfort knowing that I am not alone but am also sad that I am not alone. Because no woman should have to grow through this.

ddine75 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Yesterday was our 1st visit to the OB and I had been so excited. I started spotting on Monday and the bleeding and cramping had gotten worse throught the night. I called and spoke with a nurse who told me I could be having a miscarriage or just bleeding becasue some women do. However, inside I knew something had changed. My husband went with me to our appt on Tuesday and we hoped for the best. The ultrasound showed that the sac was still in tact but you could not see a baby. My doctor was very optimistic and decided to run a few blood test becasue he said I could still be pregnant but not far along enough to actually see/ measure the baby. Knowing how different I feel and the cramping and bleeding continue to worsen I know that I am having a miscarriage. Thankfully we had only told a few people and we won't have to deal with all of the attention you get when people feel sorry for you. I have strong faith and know God will help my husband I and both through our loss so it doesn't seem near as painful. I worry more for my husband than for myself because I felt something inside that I can not explain. I was more prepared than he for our loss. I pray for all of those who have lost and we can understand what the other is goin through. I do have to admit that I am struggling with my emotions toward a friend of mine. She just had a baby in March, unwed and not really wanting the child. I keep thinking to myself how unfare it is that she had no problems and I who married and did things the right way have a miscarriage. I hate that I feel this way but are any others struggling with the same kind of emotions?

Compton1Baby |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my baby at 6.5 weeks....Had no idea. I just started having a lot of pain and called the doctor. They said if I was still in pain the next day to come see them.. They thought it was growing pains. Well, I called a girlfriend of mine who recommended another women's clinic and I went there. They did an ultrasound immediately and that's when they told me. It's been about 2.5 weeks and DH and I still cry together. But!!! My pregnancy harmone level is still high and it's possible we conceived again! We find out after a slew of bloodwork tests on Friday.

BobnSarah |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I am going in tomorrow to have a viablity ultrasound to see if I am still pregnant. I have had a threatened miscarriage. I had some light bleeing for 2 or 3 hours 4 days ago. I am very nervous. My husband has been supportive but I am still so nervous, everyone in our lives is anxiously awaiting us getting pregnant and some people are already suspicious that I am. It will be devistating tomorrow if there is nothing there. Even though I have shed my tears and have convinced myself that if it's ment to be it will be I really don't know how I will react if my pregnancy really is over.

tmhenderson5622 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

tmhenderson you are in my thoughts and prayers... i just had a miscarriage a little less than a week ago.. i was 7 wks and we weren't planning on it at all but got very excited about the idea of a baby.. now i just feel sad and would love to try again immediately but my husband isn't so sure its a good idea to try right away.. nobody can tell you when is the right time it just hurts .. reading this has helped me feel so much more surrounded by women who understand..

mrsgees |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my son at 41 weeks he was a week over due a week late we did not conceive to may 2010 we lost Karter April. 29, 09 it takes time after the loss of a baby miss carriage, like your self full term like me, anyone the losses a child takes time to want to try again so not make your self try until you feel ready. hugs sorry for you loss

swimousey |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

For five days I have brown discharge and mild cramping. After four calls to the doctor and only getting to talk to her nurse to be assured that it's normal, last night we finally went to the emergency room. They did an ultrasound to find that what I thought was a 11 and a half week pregnancy was now a fetus without a heartbeat that stopped developing at 9 weeks. I keep crying for the loss, but then the rational part of me fights through to reassure myself that it's good that I got pregnant and can carry a pregnancy. There is nothing that I could have done and it's nature's way of natural selection for a baby that would probably not survived. But I'm 38 years old and just found my husband recently. We got married 6 months before we conceived and got pregnant quickly. But is my age too much of a factor? I can't tell you how much it has helped to read these stories. I am amazed at how common it is yet how women just don't talk about it for something that is so painful. I'm now waiting to see the doctor tomorrow and find out if I will pass it naturally or schedule a D&C. I am so scared as to what is coming. Do I go to work as if it's business as usual or sit and wait for this to happen? I guess I'll find out tomorrow. Thank you all for sharing and reading. Good luck to all of us in our searched for a baby.

hturktx |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

My condolences to all of you who are grieving the loss of a miscarriage. And thanks for sharing your stories...they have helped me tremendously. I miscarried about 6 weeks ago, when I was 7+ weeks along. My husband and I decided we were going to let things go naturally, not worry about basal temp, charting, etc., so we could take time to get ourselves back in "that place" again. Long story short, two days ago (while on vacation) I got a positive result on multiple home tests, and made an appointment to see my doc next week when I return home. The same day, my best friend found out she is pregnant.... and our due dates should be about a week apart! Now I am finding myself trying to balance the excitement and anticipation (particularly for my BFF, who is experiencing her first pregnancy) with the intense fear of a second miscarriage and the sorrow that would bring. I think I would have felt those fears no matter if I had gotten pregnant again 3 weeks, 3 months, or 3 years after my miscarriage. I didn't even know I had started ovulating again, so I feel very blessed by this unexpected miracle, but at the same time worried - and a whole lotta nauseous to boot!!!

SandK042 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

i was 10wks4days and on my 1st us they couldnt find a heartbeat and the told me my baby stopped growing at 8wks. the next day i had a d.c they called it a missed abortion i had no signs that i was miscarriaging. i just broke down crying i cried b4 and after the d&c. i even am crying right now even tho it has only ben a week i just didnt know really how much i truely wantd my baby until it was gone. it hurts b.c the day i went n for my d.c a friend of mine gave birth to a healthy baby girl. it kills me 2 see woman who have children n never wanted them or treats them badly. my boyfriend goin on 3yrs has ben amazing he has ben there 2 hold me when i cry. he has told me when ever im ready we can try again but half of me wants 2 try again but another part doesnt. it kills me b.c everybody is pretending it didnt happen. and at times i try but it happen so fast i still think im pregnant but know im not. im so afraid that if i get pregnant again it wil happen again. i really dont think my bf could go thru it again also b.c this wuld of ben our 1st 2gether n a previous relationship he lost a child. so he was scared. he has a healthy girl tho so i know its nothing on his side but it took us soo long to conceive this one and to lose it and have 2 start all over again i dont know if i could do it. i love children way to much to have 2 keep mc and never have one of my own. im prayin next go around will be a healthy full term baby.

kellzw |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my first baby in April 2010 at 7+ weeks. I went in for an ultrasound after experiencing spotting and was told the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks and there was no longer a heartbeat. I ended up having the D&C. I was devastated. I took the Dr.'s advice and waited 3 cycles before trying again. On July 9, I found out I was pregnant again (elation!). I went to a clinic to confirm and today I am 6 weeks & 6 days, but I have been spotting since yesterday. First light pink, now red. It doesn't soak a pad -it's just when I go to the bathroom & wipe, but my lower back has been hurting too. I know I should go get checked, but I just want to sleep & not think about it. I don't think I can go through another MC. Husband says just wait & see, but I fear the worst & feel alone in this. My sister is pregnant too-due a month before me & no problems. I just keep asking why me.

Lisakat27 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my first baby at 8 weeks gestation last January 2010. I felt so guilty, like I did something wrong. Of course I know now it had nothing to do with me, and that the baby was not viable. It took 4 months, but my husband and I are happy to be pregnant again. I am currently 9 weeks, but I am terrified that I will have another miscarriage. I am not ready to go through that again. I feel like I will never be able to relax until I have a healthy baby in my arms.

shelbyram26 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I miscarried this weekend at five weeks. Found out I was pregnant on Thursday and started spotting on Friday. Had period type blood on Saturday morning with cramps but no pain, then two hours later there were clots or something. This is the first time I have been pregnant. My husband and I started trying on July 3rd so it happned rather quickly. I knew I was miscarrying on Saturday morning and started to cry. Had a blood test and the Dr. is not hopeful. Said my hormone levels are low but I will know 100% on Wednesday after more blood work. I'm sure the prognosis will be miscarriage. I told some females in my family for advice and support so husband then thinks it's ok to announce it to his entire family. OMG! Anyway, they have all been very supportive and I think it was better to talk about with others than not to. Just want to know when we can start again. Although I feel like crying right now. I am determined to stay optimistic! Good luck to all you ladies!

SAGsoon2bSAJ |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

It is very normal. I had a miscarriage in Oct. 2009 at 9 weeks, another in March 2010 at 9 weeks, and another Aug. 1, 2010 at 7 weeks. Don't be in any rush. You will know emotionally and physically when you are ready.

jessafl97 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I am only 5 weeks, I know it was early, but it was our first pregnancy. I went this morning to get my hcg tested and it dropped drastically. We have been waiting for this baby for a while and the dr was like it's ok my wife and I went through it too. Blah Blah Blah, I didn't want to hear about him and his wife when had just sat there 2 min ago telling me I was losing my baby!

Mia11 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

8/4/10 - We were excited... we took our 2nd anniversary off and decided that was also the day we were going to schedule our first obgyn appt for our first pregancy. While going though each step with the Dr. Getting all the informaton pamphlets and books, getting preached on the do's and dont's... etc. Off to the ultra sound room... I said to my self I did not want to shop until I hear the heartbeat. I think I said it too much to the point of mental exhaustion! My plan of action for the day was hear the heartbeat and then start shopping!!! I knew the moment the tech looked concerend and did not discuss much... she was quited then indicated you are seven weeks and four days, but there is no heartbeat. While I lay on the table in shock with my husband next to me I just started to cry. I scheduled the DNC the next day. 8-5-10. because baby was still growing and might abort on its own but I could also carry full term and deliver a still born. I was done checked out and livid... I took the rest of the week off from work and I will hate to face them all tomorrow. I know I'm not the only one... everyone goes through this but I am devistated. I will wait for the two cycles to pass and then try again in October. All the waiting and excitement... now waiting for cycles so we can start over again. I thank you al for reading and letting me vent... bless you all as well... Good Luck and again thanks for letting me vent/type.

Snugit |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I have had 3 mc. All unplaned. So this time we decided to get preg. So I went to the doctor before. I have diabetes and high blodd presure and wanted to make sure we are on the right meds. Fyi 35-50% of preg mc. We also decided to have the different testing done to make sure it was not hormal or anything. To those that have had mc expectily more than on they are fairly simple blood work, and then there is on they can do with water to make sure your uterus is good. they are fairly unexpensive. My insurance covered them all. It releveld fears in trying again.

poohpiglettaz |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

My hubby and i had been trying to have a baby for over a year when we finally got preg. i was so excited i went and bought the morgan collection for jcp, the travel system, and swing, picked out my names (Alaina Paiton or Adrian Gavin) i was just so so excited. with my 3yr old son we found out he was a boy early. we went in for an ultrasound hoping to know if it was a boy or girl and was told there was no heartbeat. My heart stopped too i was devistated. My doc put me on antidepressants and its been 4 months and im just now rdy to try again. I started clomid today. Give yourself time to greve. it's natural!!

acupit |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just found out I miscarried at 6 weeks this Sunday... I found out the Friday before... So I had been pregnant for like 2 days that I knew of. Sunday I was bleeding pretty bad went in to the ER and they told me they couldn't find a heart beat. It was so devastating we had been trying for 3 years with no treatments but like most of you have already said the Lord has another plan for my baby and we will try again I just need to heal. It's nice to know that im not the only one. Although I already knew that It just doesn't feel like it some times.... You can do it Ladies we are strong and we know whats best for us!

Messhaller |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

On August 13, 2010 I lost my twin daughters at 20 weeks. I was so numb I didn't know what to do. I had a great support team that helped me deal with the loss. I read most of the stories on here and felt like I had to share my experience. I have 3 beautiful daughters now and I should be thankful but I will never forget the loss of Heaven Sophia and Angel Ann. I thought I had past the time for a miscarriage but I guess God had other plans for my Angels. My husband and I will try again after my 6 week check up. I pray that maybe I can have twins again. You never expect for something like this to happen but all I can say is pray to God for help. If you are not emotionally ready to have another one then wait until you finish grieving. Nothing will ever replace your baby.

sarahty01 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

ive had 3 miscarriages and have no children. i am currently 7 wks 5 days. i lost my first around 6 wks, before i had a chance for an ultrasound. i jus started bleeding horribly one day when i stood up. went to the er and the told me it had ended. my second pregnancy came exactly 2 years later. my first ultrasound was on a wed and it showed a weak heartbeat. i was sent to another clinic on friday and the ultrasound showed no heartbeat at all, i was 8 weeks. that time they inserted 2 pills to make me pass the baby. my fiance had been very much against me having surgery because he was scared of losing me too. that time i bled very heavily for 4 weeks. my 3rd pregnancy came 6 months after that. the ultrasound at 8 weeks showed a good, strong heartbeat. the dr said after seeing that the chance of miscarriage was only about 2%. we were so excited and told almost everyone. i told myself i only had to make it to my birthday, then id be 12 weeks. 2 days before my bday i started to spot. i went to the er and they told me it looked like the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. right after i had my first ultrasound. i carried around a dead baby for a month. the depression was super bad after the 3rd. 6 months later and im pregnant again! i spotted on tues, was sent to hospital on thurs. they saw a strong heartbeat, no blood in vaginal canal and cervix is still closed. all good signs. dr prescribed progesterone yesterday but its not covered by ins and is $500. i am going to make it work somehow since dr says he is almost sure this will save my baby and allow me to carry to full term. this is a crucial point for me, seeing as how ive never made it further than 8 weeks. i am praying that God gives us a healthy baby in april. i dont think you ever get over losing a baby. i remember every due date and date that i lost them. i have my previous pregnancy ultrasounds tucked away in a box. dont think i'll be able to relax until i hold my baby.

vannaleigh |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I had a miscarriage at 2 and a half months and I decided to try again, but it's your decision don't let others tell you what to do you just need to take your time and maybe if you think you are ready try again i did and i got pregnant a month later after my miscarriage and im 21 weeks and having a little girl

harley2009 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

It is completely normal. I've had 4 miscarriages in the past year. The first was at 12 weeks, the second at 6 weeks, and the last 2 at 5 weeks each. I am pregnant again, at about 6 weeks now. It is hard to try again, and even harder when it doesn't work out. But give yourself time to heal, communicate with your partner, and rely on God. That's the only reason I was able to go on again with my life. You will make it, and be all the stronger for it, even if you don't feel it right now.

medcam |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I miscarried yesterday at 5 weeks, and although I know it was nothing I did (I took my vitamins, didnt drink soda, I rested when tired, I didnt color my hair, I was ubercautious), it doesnt make it less sad or emotional. I am very lucky to have the family and friends that I do. This is also a wonderful place to come and see what other people are going through.

heatherottery1981 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I am so sorry to hear about all of your losses. I lost my baby at 14 weeks on July 30 this year. Today is my birthday and I should be happy. I have been showered with calls and notes from friends all day. But I can not climb out of the hole I am in. I think it's because I had imagined being happily pregnant on my birthday, I haven't ovulated since the loss and because I'm at an age when the clock is ticking on having more children. I saw a pregnant woman this morning and it made me feel sick, as if I had motion sickness. I haven't been able to recover. Do any of you have coping suggestions? My prayers are with all of you.

ironmama1 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

To Ironmama1...I'm so sorry about your loss. I lost my baby at 14 weeks also (in August 2010). It's such a horrible tragedy to lose a child, I can't imagine there being anything worse in life. The day after my D&C I went right on living like nothing happened. I told myself that God knows best and I picked up my daily routine as a coping mechanism. All my friends told me how "strong" I was...they didn't know that I had a gaping wound in my heart. I really had no control over when/where I would break down in tears. Then I read something that changed my way of looking at things. I learned that true strength means acknowledging your grief and sorrow and allowing yourself to feel it. Talk to your loved ones about your fears and sadness. Cry on your husband's shoulder. Talk to other women who have experienced loss. Grief is much like any other wound. If you just wrap it up in bandages and ignore it, it festers and becomes much worse. But, if you care for it and allow it to get some air then eventually it will heal. You might be left with a scar or the occasional pain that reminds you where you've been, but it becomes part of you. I have been "airing" my wound through my art. Perhaps you have a creative outlet? You could write in a journal or make a memory scrapbook for your baby or whatever you like to do. Painting my feelings takes a lot out of me, but it forces me to face my pain. Everyday gets a little easier.

reh3h6 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I am so sad to hear about your loss. Please know there are a lof of ladies out there who can relate to you; I just experienced my first miscarriage at 6 weeks. This baby was my husband and my second child (we had a son in January). We were so excited to have our children so close together, plus my sister and I (we are just 14 months apart) had our first children 4 months apart and she's expecting now...our due dates this time around were three weeks apart. I am so happy for her and her husband but I hate to admit that I feel a little jealous. I feel mad when I see women walking around with 4 or 5 kids; it seems unfair that they can have so many when all I want is two. Those feelings make me feel like a terrible person, but I can't help it. Then I feel guilty for even thinking those things and, of course, guilty because I can't help but think maybe something I did caused my baby to die (I helped my husband lay sod in our backyard a few days before, I have a hypothyriod and my levels may be off, I went to an engagement party and drank before I found out we were expecting). My friends and family have been so supportive but aside from my mom (who experiened two miscarriages and one still-birth) no one really knows what I'm going through. Reading all of your posts have given me comfort in knowing there are other ladies going through the same thing. Both of the midwives at my birthing center have also experienced miscarriage, so it helps to have their support. I appreciate ALL of you ladies sharing your story. May God bless you.

houstonla |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

DH and I started ttc about a year ago, it took us 3 months before we finally got a positive. Unfortunately at 6 weeks I started having spotting. The ultrasound showed the baby was fine and the doctor told me everything looked great. Not even 3 days later the spotting turned red and I lost the fetus at 7 weeks. It was a terrible ordeal that I still feel sad over. We did keep trying though. Now in November we finally got a BFP! I'll always have that worry now I just hope this pregancy sticks.

Erbear1984 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I'm the response before yours...so I can relate to what you went through. I feel confident (because of statistics), that you will carry this new baby full-term. I wish you and your hubbie the BEST! - Mine is soooo ready to start trying again, but I'm honestly not. I just feel like it's all happening too fast. Hope it will happen when the time is right for both of us. Best of luck to y'all!!!!

houstonla |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I miscarried September(2010), our first pregnancy. My husband and I were sooo excited, then 1 1/2 wks later I went to the ER and couldn't find any sign of a baby. Decided we were going to keep trying, then in the beginning of November(2010) found out we were pregnant again, we told only certain friends and my family, then 3 wks later on Thanksgiving we went to the ER bc I was bleeding, and we saw what was a baby, but went to followup appt on Monday and nothing. both times i was 5 & 6 weeks along. Its hard but my husband is very supportive and understanding, its making us stronger together. We're going to keep trying...one of these times is gonna have to work. We can't wait to have our own baby. Good luck to everyone.

MommyBates2011 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I miss carried after my first pregnancy in the very beginning. It was so hard because I found out I was pregnant and then the next apt found out my HCG levels were too low. It took a week of knowing and falsely hoping for a miracle before I finally miscarried. That was torture. The pain was so real even though I had only known about the pregnancy for two weeks. I morned and morned until I eventually got pregnant again. Then I worried and worried until the last few weeks of my pregnancy. My best friend lost her baby at 7 1/2 months due to certain organs never forming. I actually was in the delivery room with her as she delivered. We hoped and prayed even though she knew it was hopeless. You just can't help it you want your baby to live. She had NICU on standby just in case. The funeral was so hard but she grieved and grieved and eventually had three more children. A new baby never replaces the lost one but the pain does become much less as you allow yourself to grieve and move on. There are very few words of comfort. It all depends on what you believe. My religion believes that those babies are always yours and you will get a chance to mother them in the next phase of life. Not a common belief but I found some solace in it. No matter what you believe the loss is intense and you have to go through the healthy steps of grieving to come out on the other side. Just don't let yourself stay in the depression cycle or grieving process too long. Then it becomes debilitating and you miss out on life yourself. Don't feel guilty for moving on when it is time. That doesn't mean you forgot your baby it just means you remembered to live.

ffer |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

We were 7 1/2 weeks along and the dr wanted to see us 1st thing this morning after a weekend of heavy bleeding, and the ultrasound confirmed what we already suspected, there was no sign of baby or placenta. All we could do was sob. It is amazing how much you can love something already and not have even met them or held them. We are grieving and its sad but we have 2 older children 9 and 4 and we will get through this. We have our faith and know that the Lord is in control and our sweet baby however so tiny is now in heaven. Depression is not an option, but sadness is a normal part of the process and in a few months or so maybe we will be ready to try again.

jbpk2010 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

First of all, Bump community, I'm very sorry for all your losses. Eight days ago I found out I was pregnant, and I had a miscarriage yesterday at five weeks. I hadn't even gotten used to the idea of being pregnant yet, but I still feel a tremendous loss. The doctor told us that miscarriage is more common than successful pregnancies and it was nothing I did that caused it. I'm almost 35 and this was my first pregnancy. Although my husband and I are very sad, we are grateful that it happened earlier than later in the first trimester. Fortunately they did not have to perform a D&C. We both want to start trying again after a full cycle, and we trust that God will give us our baby when the time is right. A positive attitude is so important during this process, so take all the time you need to grieve before starting again.

murlie |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

My husband and i have been trying for #2 since July 09. On November 27 we found out we were pregnant again. I was so happy and excited, i was almost beginning to think we wouldnt have another baby. I started having some light spotting that day, and it continued off and on until December 7th. I went to see the doctor the next day and they only drew blood to check my levels and told me to come back on the 10th to re-check. When i went back my levels had gone up but only slightly, and i was told to come back again in two days to re-check. That night i had some very painful cramping and started bleeding pretty heavily and passed the baby. When i went back to re-check for the third time it was confirmed. My levels were half of what they were two days before. I was devastated. I AM devastated. I was not expecting this at all. I had no problems and no bleeding or spotting with my first child. I had only known i was pregnant for 14 days, but that doesnt make it any easier. This child was already loved so much. We were waiting until Christmas to tell our 3 year old daughter and the rest of our family. Now our daughter stares at our bedroom door because she can hear mommy crying but doesnt know why. And we only told our in-laws about the miscarriage because i dont think i can handle the pity from everyone else. I have no idea how to handle this. I put on a brave face and act like nothing has happened, but when im alone all i do is cry. We have talked about trying again in a few months but im not sure i will be ready. I think the only thing that will get me through this is knowing that my baby is already in heaven, waiting to meet me one day.

may528 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

In May of 2008, I found out I was pregnant. We completely rearranged our lives: moved into our own place, started working more hours and saving up money, and began preparing for a new addition to the family. After 6 months of a completely normal pregnancy, I unexpectedly gave birth. My daughter, Annabel, survived for 50 hours and 23 minutes, the best- and hardest- two days of my life so far. After her death, I almost immediately began considering trying to get pregnant again. My doctor advised that I wait at least 6 months to start trying again. At first, I was angry. I just wanted to hurry up and get pregnant again, and fill the void that Annabel had left in my heart and my belly. In retrospect, I appreciate his advice. I wasn't ready. If I would have gotten pregnant again so soon, I don't know that it would have been a happy pregnancy. Would every milestone have reminded me of her? Now it is 2010, and I am pregnant again, with a due date of July 22nd. Every little change in my body still reminds me of how it happened with Annabel, but over the last two years, her memory has become a happy thing, not a thing of grief. However a year and a half ago, this was not the case. Your body is not the only thing that needs to heal for a happy pregnancy. Another child will not fill the void of losing one... The only thing that can fill that void is recognizing that you should be happy they were here in the first place, rather than completely devastated that they are gone. Wait until it's not going to make you cry every time you look at your belly- it should make you smile. Good luck with everything!

DuckE3 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my baby last night at 10 weeks. My husband and I are devestated. We had our first doctors appt scheduled for Monday. The ER doctor told us to go anyway and get some tests ran. We aren't sure when we are going to try again but we will. Sorry to hear all of your stories. Its definitely one of the worst experiences someone can go through.

amandabrown3 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

To amandabrown3, So sorry for your recent loss. This is one of the most devastating things to occur, three months ago, I mc'd at exactly 12 weeks. All the emotions, rage, grief, devastation, sadness, can be so overwhelming. Make sure to take the time to process all of this, and allow yourself to heal, physically and emotionally. You will know when you are ready to try again.

lillianbae |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I found out I was pregnant on December 10. My husband and I were so excited. I took 3 tests just to make sure I wasn't crazy. I mean this was the first time we had tried! We were going to see family at Christmas time so we decided we would wait to tell them all in person. Going into my 6th week I began to spot. I was so worried and scared. I even took another pregnany test to make sure I hadn't imagined all of it. It was still positive. Thank goodness the doctor decided to bring me in for a sonogram. Two days before Christmas I had the sonogram done. They didn't see gestational sac or anything. They said I could be just not far enough along as I thought I was or that it was a chemical pregnancy. I was so sad because i wanted a concrete answer so I could move on with happiness or grieve with sadness for my loss. Everyone kept trying to be positive for me but my gut instincts told me it was over. I got my period that night. It is hard to talk with other people about it and I finally figured out why. Without knowing it they say things that make me feel guilty that I had done something wrong (started trying right after coming off of BC, maybe I should be taking a different viatmin because my body was missing something and that is why it happened). The truth is that it wasn't anything I did wrong. I live a clean healthy life. I did all of the right things but sometimes this just happens and there is no real explanation. It is nice to know that my husband knows this and is by my side. I am lucky. We got back on the TTC to band wagon and hope to find out next week if we are pregnant again.

elizabethrows |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I recently had a miscarraige as well (Jan 7th) and I was truly devastated. This was my second pregnancy and would have my my fiance's first baby. We both took the loss hard but have come to accept what has happened. It was especially hard for me, however, because I had just gone to the doctor on last Tuesday and I saw the baby and the baby's heartbeat. I though everything was going to be ok but as the week went on the bleeding and cramping became worse and by Friday I had begun to pass tissue. This has been an emotionally draining process for me and I am saddened by the loss of the baby. We both want to have another baby but I'm anxious about it due to fear that this may happen again. I just try to stay positive but part of me feels empty right now. I know another baby won't replace the one I lost but I feel like having another one will be a blessing for the both of us.

jana83 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I am so sorry to hear all of these stories, but encouraged, in a way, to know that I'm not alone. When I miscarried, I hadn't even known that I was pregnant. I started bleeding and having intense pain and cramping, so my doc told me to take a home preg. test. I was shocked to see that it was positive, confirming a miscarriage. I have a 10-year old son, so it had been a long time since I've seen a positive test. My husband and I have been trying for about 6 months. I called in to work (I'm a Paramedic and work 24-hour shifts), but my supervisor said, "Other people have worked during a miscarriage. The damage is already done, so you should come in to work." I was absolutely furious, but pushed through my shift, with pain and bleeding and nausea. The next morning, I ended up in the ER because the bleeding was so bad. I missed my next shift at work and have no regrets about that. The rest of the miscarriage was difficult and emotional, and I thought when it was done, that was the end of it. Boy, was I wrong. The next week, I experienced the worst pain of my life. I ended up in the ER again after my doc called for an ambulance to take me there (I"m NOT good at being the patient!). They thought it was a ruptured ovarian cyst, but it turned out to be the corpus luteum that was left over from the pregnancy and it had burst. (I think that's how the doc said it, anyway.) I missed yet another day of work! Needless to say, I don't care for that particular supervisor! I did call my Operations Manager and he said that, of course they want me to be at work, but first and foremost, he wants me to be healthy.

Jlo_repete |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I've been so sad and angry that I didin't want to come back to this website that I had been reading alost every hour to find out news about what was happening with my body and my baby. It's been 8 days since I started bleeding. We had been TTC for 9 months so I knew I was prenant at only 4 weeks. We lost our baby at 5.5 weeks and I have never been so purely sad. As one person said, I don't hink it could hurt more if I had actually had a chance to hold my baby. My Doc says there's nothing to prevent us from having a perfectly happy and healthy go next time, but right now I am so scared to try again. And no matter what anyone says to make me feel better, I still feel like I let everyone down. This was going to be our first baby and the first grandbaby for our parents and now because we were so excited and told everyone right away, our families are just as sad as we are. I just never expected any of this.

LAURA.CYR |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

After reading these blogs it brings tears to my eyes. I miscarried 3 days ago, and I was around 7 weeks. My husband and I discovered I was pregnant just after 4 weeks. Being that it was our 1st, and we were trying for 6 months you could imagine our excitement. We told coworkers, family and our closest friends. When I started feeling the symptoms of the miscarriage, it was no surprise that my worst nightmare was becoming a reality. I knew exactly what was going on with my body. I immediately started to panic and cry. Two days and two trips to the obgyn, i had a complete miscarriage at home by myself. It is hard for me to even walk through my house without getting upset. Everything I did, or saw seemed to trigger a memory. I have plenty of support from family and friends, but everything keeps on telling me it was God's plan, or everything is meant to happen for a reason. These are things that I did not want to hear. To all the women who are going through these same emotions, it is okay to be angry. It is okay for you to not want to hear this from others. You are so conflicted because you are so grateful for the people in your life and the support they are giving you, but this is a time for grieving and it is okay to be upset. Take time off from work, spend time with your family and friends. Keep yourself occupied, even though it is hard to leave the couch and spend time with your partner. Losing a baby is never the plan, so just remember take one day at a time and only time will heal.

jcoursin01 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I am almost 17 weeks pregnant with twins and at 15 weeks we went in for a doctor appointment because I was spotting and cramping... At first I was freaked out since they is my first pregnancy and I am probably paronoid so that everything goes right... Well, than I started to make myself believe I was just overreacting... I went into the doctors and felt like an idiot for coming in for probably nothing! The first thing they did was an ultrasound and they only saw one baby still alive with a heartbeat... The other one had died... I didn't pass the baby out - I guess it just slowly will flatten by the other baby and I will spot for the next month and than the rest of it will come out during labor of my other baby! I feel so scared that I don't want to get attached to this baby for fear the same thing will happen to this baby? It was doing pretty good on the ultrasound and had a 145 beats per min. heartbeat! We could see the baby and the arms, legs and spine... Everything looked good and he said the baby looked healthy! I go back for my other ultrasound on Feb. 4th to make sure this baby is good! I am just so scared and every cramp I think something is going wrong... As anyone had this happen to them and if so - What should I do?!?!

jpatterson75 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I am so sad for all you ladies right now! I'm currently 9 weeks along with my first baby! My mother had a rare uterus deformation and had 7 miscarriages before her OB did more testing to find the reason behind them. She could make it to 6 weeks and then the baby would just detach from the uterine wall and miscarry. Our pregnancy came as a surprise to my husband and I, who had only been married for 4 moths when we found out. However, as much of a surprise as it was, I have never wanted anything more than I want this baby to be healthy. I have encountered alot of cramping so far and have been reassured by my OB that its "normal" during implantation to have some, and you can even have some spotting. Which I have NOT had. I guess, knowing what my mom went through, and reading what you ladies have been through it scares me to death to loose my baby!!! My heart just throbs for all of you, tears come to my eyes even thinking about going through what you have all had too. I know that I can't say anything to make any of the pain go away, but I wish there were!! Just remember that there isn't anything you could have done to make things happen different. Sometimes things happen that you never get an anserw for..........hoping you all find some peace!

gunnabeamommy |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

People seem to process the loss of a pregnancy in different ways. When my husband and I experienced our miscarriage back in June 2009, we were both equally devastated, but my husband was able to process the loss and move on much quicker than I was able to. He was able to rationalize that something was wrong with the baby and the miscarriage was my body's way of reacting to the problem. I, on the other hand, felt that I had failed as a mother and that I had done something to cause the loss. The sadness was overwhelming at times and it began to impact my relationship with my husband. I also felt a lot of anger and jealousy towards women who were pregnant (both my sister-in-law and sister were also pregnant at the same time and have both carried their babies to term). Finally, after more than 6 months of continual sadness, anger and jealousy, I decided to seek professional help from a therapist. I was diagnosed with depression and have been attending counseling sessions once a week - mainly focusing on teaching myself to be positive and hopeful. I wish that I had gotten help sooner because it has helped me become a better wife, friend and sister. Please remember, there is no shame in asking for help in dealing with grief. PS. I'm pregnant again at 5w2d and I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't scared of also losing this pregnancy. But my therapist is helping me deal with that fear and not let it be my main focus during this pregnancy.

Dege81 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

o

sissy2424 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I found that I was pregnant on Jan. 17, 2011 and I felt like so happy and excited that I could hardly keep the news to myself. My heart was so full of love for our baby... Just a week after (I was 6 weeks) I started spotting and then bleeding heavily. I went to urgent care and they started running tests and lab work. Just a few days ago, on Tuesday Feb.1(7 weeks) I was told that the pregnancy was not normal and than I had a blighted ovium. My husband and I are devastated. Im trying to be strong but I dont feel okay. I told my husband that I didnt know what to do now because I felt so dissapointed..like I had let everyone down. As I am writing this I have tears in my eyes because I wanted this baby so much. I felt that I was doing everything right taking care of myself and this happened. I feel so afraid to try again...

MEKKA315 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

@ mekka3158 I went thru the same exact thing in aug this passed yr. I blammed myself and thought I left everyone down. It will get better I promise u

babylaurgrl |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I miscarried in July '10 at 8 wks. We hadn't planned the pregnancy but it was very much wanted. i got pregnant again in October and am currently 19 weeks. I have been so afraid that something will go wrong that I am having trouble fully enjoying the pregnancy. It is coming up on the time thaat the first baby would have been born and I am having a hard time. I think no matter how much time has passed you never "get over" losing a baby. Hwever as time passes it becomes easier to cope with the loss. I am glad we were able to get pregnant again so quickly.

jennbata |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my baby at 16 weeks. For ME getting pregnant feels like the only thing that will help fill the void I feel. I think it's so important to do what you feels is best for you. During this time the most important thing is finding whatever it takes to make you feel happy. If you do not want to try yet......then why rush it?!

wondergrl83 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I started bleeding at 10 weeks back in August and went to the dr where they told me that the baby had stopped developing at 7 weeks and to go home and wait for it to pass. It was the most painful, physically and emotionally, few days of my life. My cycle went back to normal immediately and the dr said we could start trying after a couple of normal cycles, but I wasn't really ready until December. At work there have been a dozen or so babies born or pregnancies announced since I miscarried and although I am happy for them, I can't help feeling jealous. But, on a happy note, yesterday I took a test and found out that we are expecting. I am excited, but I also have a lot of fear that I will have to go through another miscarriage.

mamaZbo |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

jpatterson75, Hi my story and your's could be an exact match. I found out I was pregnant at 19, my first pregnancy. Twins. I was so excited. At 12 weeks I miscarried only one of my babies. My pregnancy was a little more careful and cautious than most. But at 37 weeks my baby boy was born 5lbs 14oz. He was perfect not a thing wrong with him. Now he is five months old and sleeping in my arms. It was hard sometimes to wonder why he made it and my other did not? Why couldn't I have them both? But I know his brother or sister (they were in seperate sacks so there's no way to even guess) is a part of him. My body slowly released the miscarried pregnancy and it was traumatic to think about, but I managed to only think about the kicks of the life that still lived because of me and pressed onward. Stress and depression can harm your little one, you are a mom. Be strong. To this baby you are the most perfect person on earth. You will be double blessed, you will have an angel to hold and one to watch over the two of you. :) God bless and you are in my prayers.

ellemckee10 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

@MEKKA315. My story definitely relates to yours in so many ways. First of all, i miscarried at approx 7-8wks and it was my first pregnancy. There was so much love for this thing that was growing inside me. We told close family members and a few friends about the pregnancy when I was at 6wks. But since the miscarriage, i wished i hadn't told the people i told because now I feel ashamed and embarassed. I feel I let so many people down. I thought maybe it was too early to people as it is common to miscarry your first pregnancy. I started spotting one day, then started to pass grape sized clots for the next 3 days along with some moderate cramping. I kept telling myself bleeding was common and not to over react. But I was so scared. I went to my family doc and she ordered HCG levels x2. I suggested getting an US done to ensure the pregnancy had completely passed. My levels came back and it was at about 200 down to 16. From this she determined I had miscarried and that I didn't need an US done. Since then, I stillnfeel bloated with occasional cramping to my abdomen. The doc had said it will take 1-2weeks for my hormones/body go back to pre-pregnancy state. At this time, i've been trying to find ways to cope. So far, I think i'm ok. However I work with at least 8 pregnant women and it's hard to avoid hearing about morning sickness and how big you're getting. I put on a smile and try to be happy for them, but it's so hard when you're overwhelmed with jealousy. Anyhow, reading other peoples' story has helped me cope. I think we are strong people who have gone through this kind of loss. I wish you all the best.

wilndar |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Miscarried at 9wk. started spotting at 8wks. went to the doc he did a scan said that my baby was too small to see the sack the baby was in was saying 8 wks the fetus 6 wks my head crack alittle he put me on bed rest went back. went back happy feelin that every thing was ok . The frist response when the scan started was Oh No. from the doctor . My baby was dead the sack the baby was in was was basicaly collapseing around it. IN SHORT my baby never realy attached itself to my womb. That hurts like hell to hear all of that . when home with a seculde D&C in mind in two days next couple of hours i was admitted to( A&E) never felt so mush pain in all my life nurses told that miscarriage pain are worst than going through a live brith cant say yea or nea this was my frist child. Keep reminding myself that God Knows best and He dont make mistake. so Hurtimg but have Faith that all is well with my soul.

Breleith |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

My husband and I suffered a miscarriage at 8w a year ago. A week ago we found out we are pregnant again and although were excited, our experience last year is holding us back from enjoying pregnancy. I'm not sure if we didn't grieve enough or if this is normal but it's definately not how I want my whole pregnancy to be. Every single time I go to the restroom I pray for there to be no blood. I have been having cramps for a few weeks but no bleeding. We have our first OB appt on Friday(I'm 8w) and I'm extremely nervous. When we miscarried I somehow felt it was my OB's fault from the pelvic exam because that is when I started bleeding so I'm nervous for this one Friday. Please send some prayers my way if you don't mind. You all have gone through what I have been through and know the feelings I'm having. I'm so sorry about each and every one of your losses and I will be saying some prayers for your little angels......

cr0224042 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

We lost our baby at 34 weeks-he was 4lbs 6oz and 20 in. long. I had placental abruption and it was a totally unexpected thing. I went to bed that night with him kicking inside of me and doing his usual, and waking up at 4am with horrible belly pain and not feeling movement. We lost him in September and my doctor said we should wait to try again after Christmas. I had so many crazy thoughts thinking that everything my body went through, I may not be able to conceive again-but yesterday I found out I am four weeks pregnant. I still cry about our sweet Kenai, but I know that he will live in all of us and the new baby. I am scared out of my mind about this pregnancy hoping the same thing doesn't happen again, but my OB says this is normal. Please keep me in your prayers that this pregnancy is a successful one.

teeba |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I had my miscarriage at 51/2 weeks. I was so thrilled because we had been trying for a long time and I can't believe that such joy was taken away from us in such a short period of time. This happened 2 months ago and I am still going through such a range of emotions. I think the hardest part is that everyone around me is having no trouble getting pregnant and it is so frustrating for me. Everytime time a friend or a family member tells me their good news I just break down and cry for days. It is like I have to start the healing process all over again. I just wish I could finally feel better and I hope it does not take too much longer to get pregnant again. I dont know if I can handle the wait much longer.

AndreaNN |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I was 6 weeks 1 day pregnant today. I had intense cramping and started bleeding a lot. I went into the ER and my urine test came back negative for pregnancy. The blood test confirmed that my levels were down to 135. They did a pelvic exam and saw "the tissue" of my baby in my vaginal canal being expelled by my body. They removed it and did an ultrasound to confirm that I had no crazy complications and that everything was gone from my uterus. It was. I can't seem to stop crying, but a firm resolve has come out of this. We weren't actively trying to get pregnant this time, we just weren't trying NOT to get pregnant. Now when my body heals enough to try again, I'll be extra careful in taking care of myself so that the next BFP I get on a home pregnancy test carries me through to the end and gives me a healthy, happy baby. My grief will never be fully gone, and I will always love the baby I had for such a short period of time, but my husband and I will be stronger together from our loss, and now we're determined to get a healthy, happy baby here--hopefully this calendar year. I grieve with you ladies and wish you the best of luck in your pregnancies post-mc.

Eveanyn |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

This is completely normal. I'm still scared to get pregnant again as well. I don't want to go through the loss again. Just take your time and make SURE that you are ready before trying again. My sig other and I have decided to not purposely try, but to not prevent it either.

AhmandahAnarchy |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Everyone.... it will happen, I have came to acceptance that mc's happen. I am now on round two, Found out I was preg on my Birthday. 1/21. I will be 12 weeks tomorrow. I already had two ultra sounds... the first at 6.6w as I cried through the whole process. I went back at 9w and all is still good.... BUT now I have to wait and that is DRIVING ME INSANE! I don't go back till 4/7 for the next appointment. I haven't had any signs of negativity but with a mc under my belt I am getting panic attacks. To everyone, I wish the best, I will follow-up the week of the 7th to fill you all in. Hoping for the best!

Snugit |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I was so glad to happen upon this topic, I too lost a child. I was 22 weeks along and I went in for a routine visit and doctor could not find a heartbeat, they immediately sent me for a sonogram and all was done. I lost my baby boy. It was horrible. I had to deliver a still birth child the next day. I did name him and we had a cremation for him and a small service for family but it was devistating. I thought how could this happen. I felt very alone. This was in August, 2010. They told us to wait a few months to try again. Well low and behold, I got pregnant right away and am now 22 weeks along. I feel great but still have that one small worry that this will be taken away again. I refuse to "purchase" anything yet, I could not bare to come home to a house full of baby items if something were to happen. If not for my wonderful support system I would not have gotten through any of this. It was so nice to read these supportive comments. Thanks for sharing and I hope that I helped someone else...

TinaNoel3 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I recently went in for my 1st ultrasound after impatiently waiting 11 weeks. My husband and I weren't necessarily trying to conceive, but after finding out we were pregnant we were beyond excited to start a family. It is amazing how much our relationship has grown with this major life step. When we were sitting in the dark exam room, holding hands and staring at the ultrasound screen trying to figure out what all the shapes were, the ultrasound tech said maybe we weren't as far along as we thought and decided to try a vaginal ultrasound. As the tech was moving the wand around, my heart immediately sunk because she got quiet and I couldn't see anything that resembled a heartbeat or movement. By this time I already had a lump in my throat and tears were running down my face. I said, "you don't see anything, do you?" and she replied, "here is your sack, and it looks like your embryo is only measuring 6 weeks and doesn't have a heartbeat." We were devastated. I then met with my doctor who was amazing during this emotional time. I've found that nothing anyone says can make the experience any better. We are trying to cope together and the love and support from our friends and family has been wonderful. Heaven will hold our baby before we do and will keep him/her safe until Mommy and Daddy can meet up there later when our day comes. We are not to the point where we are able to try to conceive again, but I have a feeling we will be apprehensive.

jillyp0221 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Well, thank all you ladies for the advice and encouragement. I lost my baby at 19wks gestational in Sept 2010, but today I am 12 weeks pregnant. I am determined to have this baby. I pray everyday. Not 1 day goes by where I dont think about my little Prince, but I know I cant worry to much while pregnant this time around. Please keep us in your prayers as I do you ladies. THANK YOU. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS

nyalle81 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Reading these makes me feel like I am not alone but It has been almost 4 months since my miscarriage and I still feel out of control of my emotions. My best friend is preg, and her due date is 2 weeks before what mine was supposed to be, which is making everything harder. I guess my questions is.. how long did you guys feel sad about it? I feel alone in it all because even my H doesnt truly understand how I feel. I dont feel like the same person..... Anyone else feel this way?

CHB0620 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I had my mc a week ago and I feel like I can only cry when I'm alone. I feel embarassed that I am still hurting so much! I cry in the shower, I cry on the way to work, then I try and clear my eyes and refresh my make-up before I leave the car... When does it get easier? Will my emotions get less intense as my next period comes? All I can think about is the baby I lost... I wanted the baby so badly! I am one of the weird ones that can't wait to get pregnant again in hopes of carrying that one to term... I don't want to replace this lost child... but I feel like it's the only thing that will make me happy again... I have never been so sad and depressed in my life... Ugh!

v004045 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I am 8 weeks now this is my 3ed preg! I missed carried my first at 9.5 weeks in 2006 and It took me along time to feel good about everything! I didnt even know the second time was not to far in my preg! I'm scared all the time about this preg I just dont think that I can go thru another lose! I pray every night that things will work out for me and my husband a baby is something I have wanted in my life for so long!

shawna reefer |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

v004045- I promise the feelings will be less strong as time goes by. After a few months I am still out of control of my emotions but the feelings are less intense and I don't think about it every second anymore but I am still struggling with it. I too wanted to get preg again and we were trying. It has just become a stress in our life so we are not protecting but not "trying". I know how much it hurts, and I understand how you are feeling but I think you should talk to someone....friends, significant other, mother, anyone!

CHB0620 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I have 3 kids between 10th years and 3 years. Over the last 2.5years me and my boyfriend have been together we've had 3 miscarriages. mind you, we weren't trying to get prego. My first 3 were while on birth control so we figured we would try the old fashioned way by watching my cycles and avoiding the days most likely to get prego and hopefully save some money. Hahaha the birth control hadn't helped from getting prego. The first one I had known I was prego for a few weeks so was attached to the idea of having another baby. I was devastated and cried my brains out. My bf wasn't aloud to touch me for months other then to cuddle at night and to comfort me. The next 2 I had only days of knowing I was prego when I lost them. So I hadn't had the time to let the idea of being prego sink in so I didn't have the attachment issue. But within a couple months of our last loss we got prego again. I'm now 6 months and awaiting as patiently as possible for our little boy to be born. So in all its ok to be emotional and its ok to not be. It all depends on you and how you deal with it.

phillyne |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Time helps. It has almost been three weeks since my mc and I still think of my baby daily but the feelings are a lot less painful. One thing I realized is that my psychological viewpoint of getting pregnant and having a baby has changed. I take it a lot more seriously now. I take my health into serious thought... I am overweight (20lbs) and am going to do something about it before we get pregnant again. I started a kickboxing class and I can't tell you how empowering it feels to hit the crap out of something. My first night with the gloves and bag, I almost cried right there in class! There was such a release of emotion, it really helped me. All the questions and doubts about myself - I took it out on that bag. I haven't felt this good for a long time... I have also taken alchohol almost completely out of my life. I felt so good not drinking that now I have two beers and I'm done. I guess it's hard to believe that everyting happens for a reason... but I truly believe that next time I get pregnant, I will be an overall healthier person which is good for baby and mommy! I recommend to all the mommas that lost their babies to get active! Try a new workout, something so challenging that you are almost convinced you can't do it... You'll be surprised at the determination and motivation you have if you chanel it right... The natural endorphines that are released with a great workout will totally change your mind and body for the better. Thank you ladies for all of your support and I'm so glad that we all have a place to grieve and help eachother. We don't know eachother, but know the pain of one another... Thank you!

v004045 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Absolutly not! I have had alot of problems, lost one at 4 weeks, then 14 weeks had a healthy little girl then just lost one at 9 and a half weeks! My doctor wanted me to try again in 2 months to run tests and stuff! I told him i was done and cant do it again! Well here i am pregnate again and the doctor is really monitoring me! Everything is going good and thing are looking up! I totally know where you are coming from its hard and never gets easier! But u gotta talk about it to beable to get through it! The time will come when you will be ok to try again i promise!

ajreiter86 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Hunny I had my miscarriage young and to be honest it scared me and will always be a part of my life! Im pregnant now and look back and think wow my baby would be turning 5 years old this year! My baby im having now would have this big brother/sister and cry! This baby im pregnant with now is not replacing the baby i lost but adding another angel to my heart! I wasnt sure i was ready but i told my husband im not going to try because i couldnt go through that again and to be honest if somthing were to happen during this pregnancy id lose it! I really couldnt even have any sexual feelings for months after mine so just take ur time and really think about u first and if ur ready again!

kelseypolk |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I was 8 weeks pregnant. Just found out I had a miscarriage today. It's very hard to handle but, yes normal. This would have been our first. I'm feeling some cramping & lower back pain. It was hard to watch the ultrasound and not see a baby. My thoughts go out to everyone here who has left a post as well. I know that it will get better over time. I can't wait till we are able to try again. But, even though I wasn't very far along it will still always mean something to me.

Bellemmnm |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

My husband and I had been ttc since Sept 2010. At the end of Jan, we found out we were pregnant. We knew immediately because I took a test when my period was just 1 day late. We were overflowing with excitement. We couldn't wait for our first dr appointment at 8 weeks, on Mar 3. We went into the dr expecting to leave with a due date and instead left with an appointment for a D&C the next day. We were devestated to find out there was no heartbeat. Up until that point, it was a perfect pregnancy. The only symptoms I had were being tired and constantly peeing. I was happy to not have any sickness yet. The baby was only 7 weeks 3 days, so it had happened w/in the last 4 days. It was the most horrible day of our lives. I had absolutely no signs of crampling, spotting or bleeding. We were blindsided and shocked. It has been two months now and I still cry daily. We are ttc again, because we really want children and I don't know how else to get over the pain. I will admit, I am scared to death to get pregnant again because I know I won't be able to go through that again. To make things worse, I have daily reminders of our loss because 5 of our friends were expecting at the same time. One gave birth 3 weeks ago and another is due in 3 weeks. I didn't go to either of those 2 baby showers and I avoid seeing and talking to all of them. I am very happy for them, but can't get past my own sorrow. I know my feelings are normal, but I think they are getting stronger instead of decreasing. Our friends all understand, say they couldn't imagine, and are so sorry for our loss. I feel like such a bad person for not wanting to be around them anymore. If anybody has any advice on how to get on with my own emotions, please share. I'm so sorry for everybody else who has gone through this. I'm learning the mc is more common then what people realize, but it is also the worst thing in the world.

mlnichols93 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my baby at 8 weeks on July 4th 2008. I started spotting a few days before it happened and it slowly started to increase until I was practically menstruating. I called my mother from work and said I needed to go to the hospital something was wrong with the baby. We went to the ER at about 11pm. They processed me and got me into a room in about an hour, then I got to wait another 3 hours to even SEE a doctor. As soon as he came in he had me scoot down the bed and I just didn't feel right. I clamped my legs shut and wouldn't let him examine me. They forced my legs apart and all hell broke lose. It was the singularly most awful thing I'd ever gone through in my life. The nurses were really callus about it and one even had the gall to say to me "the next time around you should be a bit more careful" Um what???? I stayed in bed for about a week. Then I got the call that because I was having my mother call in for me every day at work so I had to go in and explain (in not so gentle terms) to my boss that I lost my baby and I needed time and If I didn't GET that time to grieve, I was going to report him to the corporate office. He told me to take whatever time I needed. After 2 weeks I tried going back, but I just couldn't deal with it, so I started looking for a different job. The kicker is, my best friend got pregnant right around the same time as I did, but I didn't find out until about 2 months later and not from her but from a friend of one of her other friends. Ouch. It's so hard even now.. because the 4th of july is supposed to be a happy fun day, but hubby and I are always sad because 3am on the 4th of july we lost our baby. =[ Now, I might be pregnant again and I'm terrified that the same thing is going to happen again.

TMFowler |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I AM 12 WEEKS PREGNANT I WENT YESTERDAY FOR AN ULTRASOUND AND TOLD THE BABY DID NOT GROW INTO AN EMBRYO THEY GONNA GIVE ANOTHER WEEK IF NOT A HVE TO DO A D&C

negrabella26 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

the right time to try again is when you and your guy are ready. i thought i would be ready to try right away after my miscarriage but i was still grieving, i didn't even want to think about trying again. i can say i was "ready" again about 8 months later but every woman goes thru the grief process in their own time. Take one day at a time and breathe. And don't be scared of feeling ready. you're not replacing your first baby. you're continuing on with life. Best wishes!

mellynoma |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I had a miscarriage 8 years ago and I found out on Mother's Day 2011 that I'm pregnant. I'm super excited but nervous at the same time. I have been extremly sick in the mornings and had to go to the doctor yesterday and he said everything seemed to be ok. He gave me something for my morning sickness since it has been so bad. I'm just so nervous and don't want to have another miscarriage. But I keep thinking happy thoughts about this pregnancy and how it is so different and so is my body since it has been 8 years ago. There is really no real answer to your nervousness or emotions they will always be there after going through a miscarriage. Good Luck to all you ladies and to myself as well. Can't wait to hear the heart beat on June 2nd!!!

BrittStone27 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I woke up yesterday morning after a night of cramping to some bleeding. I immediately lost it. All I could do was cry, "my baby, my baby." I knew I was miscarrying. I was 11 weeks. What is odd is that one month ago to the date I had a transvaginal ultrasound done. The tech told me I was one week earlier than we had thought. So she changed my due date to one week later. I have an ultrasound picture of my baby which was just a dot. Unbeknowns to us at the time the baby had already been dead for a week. That was why it was measured a week earlier than we thought it should be. When I went to the hospital yesterday morning they did both a regular and transvaginal ultrasound again. The baby measured at 6 weeks again and no heartbeat was found. That is the worst news you can get when the doctor comes in and tells you that you have miscarried. My baby was still inside of me though so I had to have a D&C done this morning. The entire medical team around me was so amazing. I was still broken of course but they were sympathetic and let me cry. When they woke me up afterwards I just mourned and cried "my baby, my baby" all over again. I feel like it was my fault. Maybe I exercised too much or didn't eat the right things. The docs said there was nothing that could've been done to cause or prevent it. It's Friday, May 27th and Memorial Day weekend. I have 3 days until I go back to work as a daycare director where I have one persistent little girl who keeps asking me what my baby is going to be. How do I tell her that there is no baby anymore? And my birthday is one week from today. I just want to hide away. I trust that God has a plan for this and I know my baby is an angel in Heaven with my grandparents. I just need His peace right now. Is. 26:3 says "You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You because he trusts in You."

dodgesm1 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

dodgesm1- So sorry to hear of your loss (and all you ladies). I know what you are going through right now. I found out on May 6th (my sister's birthday) that we were expecting. I was very apprehensive to tell ANYONE- even our immediate families because I learned alot in college through a genetics class about how truly a miracle it really is to get pregnant and then have a healthy baby 9 months later. I didnt want to tell the whole world and then have to tell them all again if something happened. Well, this past Saturday morning (my husband was at work) I woke up and went to the bathroom and was bleeding. I was so scared and didnt know what to do! After calming down a bit, I called the doctor and he thought it might just be spotting. It continued into Sunday so my husband and I went to the ER. Had both a regular and transvaginal ultrasound. The size of the baby was equivalent to about 6 wks. and we thought I was about 9wks. Dr. said I was having a "threatened miscarriage" and that I was supposed to stay off my feet. Either I wasnt that far along and everything was okay or something was wrong and I could be miscarrying. Monday (Memorial Day) it continued but seemed to go in spurts. Today (my first day back at work in 4 days) I went to the bathroom and had clots. Dr. thinks I am in the process of miscarrying now. I've had cramping and back pain on and off- like I have my period. I'm bleeding bright red and with clots. I just dont know what to expect... I was too devestated to ask questions on the phone. But, is it really painful that I might not want to be at work? Does it last long? Will I have a "period" for awhile afterward? My husband is so supportive and I"m so thankful for that. I just lean on him and together we lean to God. I dont even feel like eating and I dont want to be around anyone, not even my family. I know this shall pass, though. *I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.*

shaykay4-5 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

:( I'm sorry for everyones loss it is definitely a difficult time. I miscarried 3 days ago at 7 weeks and that was my first pregnancy. We found out I was pregnant on May 18th and we had mix emotions of excitement and scared, but after a while we were just ecstatic with the idea of being parents. I begin to spot on the 22nd and was cramping mildly everyday, on Tuesday we went to the ER to make sure everything was fine. The doctor checked my HCG level, drew blood to check as well, he also did the an Ultrasound, and I immediately just had tears falling down my eyes, couldn't believe that I had a little baby growing inside me beating 132 bpm. After that the doctor also did a physical exam where he checked whether my cervix was open and he informed me that it was a bit open and the only answer he really gave us was "time will tell, there is a chance of miscarrying but it gets less after 12 weeks." We went home that evening hoping for the best. I rested the rest of the week and stayed home. On Saturday we went to the store for a few hours and during that time I had to keep stopping at almost every aisle, I knew something was wrong. We went home and I laid in bed and out of nowhere there was this sharp cramp pains that would last for 5 minutes and stop. And I began to bleed more, I went back to bed and around 9pm we went to ER. The doctor did the same test again but when it came to the ultrasound found nothing. He ended up doing a physical and found the embryo sitting inside me. To make matters worst, the nurse left the room and left it sitting right beside me for 15 minutes while my partner and I cry. Ever since that day, I have just been crying everyday and it has been unbelievably hard. I'm still bleeding and still feel some cramping. Words can't express how everyone must feel, we find it real difficult to deal with but hope one day we will be bless again with another a baby.

jamora |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

@ shaykay4-5 I experienced the exact same thing you did, i noticed i was bleeding more and had more blood clots, thats when I knew when a big blood clot went inside the toilet after we got back from the store that that was it. I'm really sorry. I would go to the doctor, just incase. My doctor said because the embryo was sitting inside me still but not inside my uterus, i could have hemorrhage if i didnt go to the doctor. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.

jamora |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I have recently had 2 miscarriages both were right around 4wks. One was early February and one just last week, mid June. I cant help but to feel a bit defective. Why are they not developing? My doc says they are not attaching to my uterus and is basically 'bad luck'. But I still can't help but to feel like why me? Its good to know I'm not the only one, but it still hurts to see others go through the same misfortune. To make matters worse I have many friends and even my sister is successfully pregnant. And I have a step-daughter. So why is it so easy for everyone else, and why was this woman able to give my husband a child, and makes me feel like somethings wrong with me. I feel confused, bitter, and just sad. I'm trying to be optimistic and have every intention of trying again. This may sound corny but a couple days after the miscarriage began I got a fortune cookie at the Chinese buffet and it told me 'remember 3 months from this date. good things are in store for you.' So as corny as it is, maybe it was a sign? Just in case I put it in my wallet for safe keeping. =)

JamieS116 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just lost a baby yesterday (i can honestly say i have never felt this way before) i think the way you feel is normal for a few reasons, one i think its a way our bodys telling us it needs to heal, second, you need time to heal emotionally (not that we will truely ever get over it). My husband and i will try again, but not now. Our doctor said that we need to wait until at least 4 NORMAL periods before we try again. So that kinda gives me a time line to see how we feel. I hope that helped. I would wait until you and your other half feel comfortable with it. everyone else needs to be there for you guys emotionally, but when it comes down to it they need to NOT give any suggestions.

jadaflick |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my first baby on Christmas 2010. It was the worst experience no one should ever have to go through. I had one cycle before finding out I was pregnant in February. It was the best surprise I could have ever wished for. I am currently 22 wks and due in October 2011. Even though I was not done grieving for the one I lost, I felt I was supposed to be pregnant again for a purpose. I have never had closure with the one that I lost until I read the book "Heaven is for Real" by Todd Burpo with Lynn Vincent. This book changed my life in regards to what happens when you lose a child. I recommend EVERYONE who has lost a child and some of your faith due to this to read this book. It is a short and easy read. I'm not a reader, yet I read this book in 3 hours one day. Please read this!

allisonbelanus |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

My husband and I lost our first baby on July 13. We went to the doctors for a regular 17 week check-up only to be given the news that they could not find a heartbeat. My doctor scheduled my for a D&E on July 18 and was told after the procedure that I had to receive and RHIG shot because I am A- and my husband is A+. This being our first pregnancy I didn't realize that + and - parent blood types could pose a potential problem. My doctors didn't express any concern with my initial prenatal bloodwork. Has anyone else experienced this?

jandrlias |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just found out today in my 9th week that we lost our baby. We had our first ultrasound last week and the dr. saw a pocket of fluid near the heart and lungs and wanted to check it out this week. Turns out that was our baby in heart failure. It's so hard because I have this picture of my baby and all I remember from last week is the fast heart beat and today a flat line on the ultrasound screen. It was awful. The gave me three options from this point, let it pass naturally (what sounds like a nasty period experience), take a medication to speed up the first option but still go through it, or have a D&C. The emotion of thinking I was pregnant this morning and now not is so hard. I did everything right and read everything I could get my hands on to educate myself. I requested the D&C hoping this would not put me through the further emotional mess of being sick and constantly being reminded that we aren't pregnant anymore. The dr's office scheduled my surgery for next week so now I have to wait a whole week like this. I called back to see if it can be earlier and the stupid nurse acted like I was rude for asking to move it up and that they were already doing me a favor by fitting me in and they already have surgeries scheduled that day. I don't really know what to expect, anyone had one before?

lietuva19 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just had a D&C 2 days ago, and I was very nervous and did not know what to expect either. I do recommend it, it went very smoothly with only minimal cramping and minimal bleeding after. This was my first pregnancy, and I could not believe how this has affected me emotionally. The day of the D&C I mostly slept after, but the next day, I cried uncontrollably and felt so empty and hormonal. The dr. said the hormones would be horrible for the week after. That is the best I can tell you about what to expect. I had no idea this would be so difficult, I am so sorry for your losses as well. It was so unexpected.

daniella17 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my first baby at 11 weeks on march 12, of this year.. They told me and my husband to wait a year before tryin again. I still cry of my baby, but I'm pregnant now 10 weeks and the baby is doin great. People just tell me now I have a Angel in heaven watching over me.. It's up to you when your ready to try again. Hope everything works out for you.

Eyeore2035 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Eyeore2035, I'm very sorry for your loss too. Did you wait a year? I am 31 so I've been a little stressed about getting pregnant sooner. I read that it takes 4-6 weeks for your period to return and to wait about 3-4 cycles before trying again which would mean Christmas time for me. I haven't had the surgery yet (that's tomorrow) but the nurse said I should talk to the dr. and maybe we can try sooner, that is if we are ready emotionally. Daniella17, I'm so sorry for your loss too. I am thinking of you and hope the hormones subside soon and "give you yourself back," so to speak.

lietuva19 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

how do u deal with such loss!? i had a miscarriage last week @ 14 weeks 1 day and i seriously feel like i am going crazy! crying seems to help but then again it doesnt. i just want my baby. after reading every single post on here i know i am not alone! thank u ladies for being so brave and sharing this. we all have little angels up in heaven <3

Bellaloliita1 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Reading all of your stories is just so crazy. I had a D&E today, and I can not sleep: so I decide to read. Monday 22nd we went to the doctor and found out we were having a girl, and everything was good. I have been trying for a while and finally got PG. I was 18 weeks and 1 day. Saturday morning I woke up and turned to the left and my water broke. I was not sure what was going on but I know something was wrong. I started to bleed so we went to the hospital. They heard the heart beat and we thought everything was going to be fine. I lost all of the fluid and her lungs would not develop, she would not survie outside of the womb. This has been the hardest thing my husband I have gone through. I feel so empty, I know that I am not alone. I am so scared. I know our daughter is in heaven but I miss her so much.

m_hernandez25 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my baby at 7 weeks and 6 days of gestation! I want to share my story in hopes to help someone else. I started having BROWN blood appear whenever I wiped after using the restroom accompanied with very mild cramping. I read that this is "normal" but still did not feel great about it so I went to the obgyn the next day. They did an ultrasound and the baby did not have a heartbeat my husband and I were devastated. I am trying to let my body expel the baby naturally and it is painful but nothing compared to how I feel and my husband feels. I am trying to trust in God and and his goodness so please pray for me and my husband. Basically, if you are not feeling right about what is happening in your body trust your instincts and see the dr. I hope that God will work on my husbands heart to not be angry and resentful which by the way is a normal response to loss! I also hope that anyone who is going through the same ordeal is finding trusting in God!

prissy5456 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just lost my baby on Wednesday. I was 10 weeks pregnant on Wednesday. The week prior I had my first ultrasound, I saw the heartbeat, the baby moving and was over joyed. Wednesday night starting around 5 I had cramping (mild) and neither my boyfriend nor I thought anything of it, because I had been having cramping my whole pregnancy. About an hour later the cramping got worse (more period like accompanied by back pain) I started spotting, and from there the bleeding progressed. Both my boyfriend and I knew that something wasn't right when I started seeing blood (hadn't seen any prior). I'm nervous about trying again, but want to be mother more than anything, so when the time is right I am sure we will have our little baby. My boyfriend has been so amazing and my rock through this hard time. We have to wait 2 months before we can start trying. I am glad for that time to grieve, but feel that 2 months is a while out and my fear is that I will be overly causious the next time. I am sorry that this happens and any woman reading this should look to their partner, friends and family for support they are what will help make this easier. Trust your body you know when something isn't right.

Jenileana1 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Thanks to everyone for their stories. While it is heartbreaking to read all the reponses it is comforting at the same time knowing I'm not alone. I just found out yesterday that I lost my baby. I was 8wks5days. Had one spotting episode on Thurs evening and it stopped then it started again on Friday night. Then I knew something wasn't right. Went in for ultrasound and Sat and heard no heartbeat. I am now scheduled to have an D&C on Wed and not looking forward to it. I know God knows what's best and have faith all will work out and I'l be preganant again soon. Hoping for a very special christmas present this year. Best of luck to all of you out there.

Dino2003 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Yesterday I found out that my baby stopped developing at 5 weeks, it was our first ultrasound and what we were expecting to be the happiest day of our lives turned in to the worst. I had no symptoms that anything was wrong and we were just devastated.

katiechap721 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

There isn't a "normal" way to feel. Last December we lost our first baby at 10 weeks, and it was devastating. It took months for me to even feel stable emotionally. We got pregnant again 5 months later, and are now 7 months pregnant with a little boy. I still haven't forgotten the little one that I lost, and those who have never had a miscarriage are not capable of fully understanding. Even some who have had a miscarriage react differently. A friend of mine had a miscarriage 3-4 months after me at 6 weeks, and after a few weeks she was fine. I couldn't understand how, but that didn't mean it was the wrong way to feel. You'll know when you can begin to try, but don't worry if there are recurring emotions even long after your loss. It was a child, and perfectly ok to grieve no matter the age. I'm so sorry that you and everyone else went through this, but I think the grieving shows what good mothers we are. ;) You'll hold a baby soon. Hugs!

Sweetpeatobe |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

My husband and I just lost our baby at 6 weeks 5 days. We are going through a lot of emotions right now, but the best thing for us has been to talk to each other. No one can tell you how to feel during this time, the loss is unique to you. Remember that you and your partner need to talk and have time to grieve before ttc again.

Nicolewmu |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just lost my baby last nov 7, 2011 at 13weeks gestation,that was just 2 days ago.i may not have been able to hold my baby in my hand,but i will hold him forever in my heart.i will make sure that my lost baby will never be forgotten.

gladygirl |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just miscarried Monday, i was 5 weeks and 5 days. the Dr said it was a chemical pregnancy meaning nothing ever formed, but I still feel the loss of a baby! Its heartbreaking! and to top that I also found out Monday that I have a heart-shaped uterus, the Dr said she doesnt feel I will have any problems though, so we are starting to try again soon. I have doubts because I dont want to ever expierence a miscarriage again. But you just have to take a chance and hope for the best!

heathalyn |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I had a miscarriage back in June and became pregnant agai in September. So far everything has bee great. Im a little scared but I guess its normal at this point. Just hoping for the best.

reynoso09 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just had a miscarriage on Friday -- @ about 9 weeks. Im an emotional wreck, we were going to tell our family at Thanksgiving -- our first Thanksgiving as a married couple, in our new house -- both families over. He wants to try again right away, and I felt like that at first, but I dont think I am emotionally ready right now. My doctor said to wait a cycle at least to start trying - Ive read so many stories about people getting pregnant again right away, within weeks, but Im just not sure my mind or my body is prepared for that. Only you know what is right for you.

krystletoscas |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my baby in 2008 from a miscarriage it died in me 4 weeks before i found out.I took it really hard so i can understand where your coming from it hurts i went through a huge depression and the blaming myself thing well honestly up until bout a yr ago.I wondered the same thing you do. It is ok and very normal to want to have time to let your heart,body,n mind heal before trying again.I never thought i would be strong enough to try again n i havent until recently and now i jus found out im pregnant.I had some bad thoughts bout what if it happens again.When you are ready to try again you will know.Until then just dont blame yourself and work very had to not be depressed stay with family and maybe even talk to a therapists.I couldn't afford one but honestly i thought it would have been better for me then to keep hearing my friends and family tell me they knew how i felt and what i was going through because they didnt.You may even be a little aggresive to your family and your partner.I know i was.Just next time you get pregnant go to a specialist so they can monitor your baby carefully that is what i am doing so the same thing doesnt happen when i had a breakage n a few complications.I hope one day you feel your ready to try again.Hope this helps coming from somebody who has been through the same heart ache.

onelove20 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

We found out yesterday that I will miscarry...I have a blighted ovum. I am sad, mad, confused, and jealous of every pregnant woman I see right now. The pregnancy came as a surprise... We have been married for 12 years and trying for 3 or At least doing nothing to prevent...just When I had given up it happened. I should be 8 weeks and the ultrasound shows again only 5 weeks with no heartbeat. I still have all the Symptoms Of being pregnant. It still is Inside of me. They say it's common for miscarriages to happen... But you never want to think it will happen to you. I am also angry because it doesn't sem fair... You look around and see teenagers pregnant and people you may judge as not ready for a child....we waited went to school, got jobs, have a house, some savings....'and now the one thing you want and thInk you're ready for and you can't have it. It's hard. I blacked out while the doctor told me. I already loved the child It was already a part of me....At least I know I can get Pregnant but now I'm scared... I told everyone....everyone if it happened again I'd probaly tell no one...not even my husband for 3 months or 4....thanks for all your responses and own stories it is a comfort to read that I'm not alone....

Bronzebeachbaby |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just lost my baby this Tuesday at 17.5 weeks. I had bleeding for almost a moth. Went to emergency room 3 times with heavy bleeding and stayed in the hospital for three nights at one point. Each time and each utlrasound the baby looked fine yet they could not find what was wrong. This last week the bleeding slowed and almost stopped and then all of a sudden it started again. This time by the time I got to the hospital, after an hour long ultrasound, they found no fluid and the cord wad prolapsed. I had been poked and proded and have have more ultrasounds and doctors than I can count. Still no reason behind the bleeding. I have two healthy children and happened to turn 41 while in the hospital the first time. This pregnancy was a total blessing in disguise. We went into it in shock and were not sure how to handle it considering our ages, but now feel empty. The adjustment to being a mother again was huge and now the adjustment to not being one is shocking. I do not know now if we should try agin or just let things be, especially because of the bleeding. My husband does not want my life to be in jeopardy but I feel so empty. Not is it only difficult emotionally but also physically. Having two children and not being there for them for this long is hard. The pregnancy being over but still feeling ill is awful. Things can not just go back to normal. This all happening over my birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas has not helped at bit (not that any time would be a good time). But according to people that I know, and I am slowly finding out there are many, that have experienced a loss it does get better over time. No matter how crazy it seems at the moment.

boloemma1 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I believe your emotions are normal. I always felt like I could not conceive and after a terrible period, cyst and ultrasound, my doctor told me that I was ovulating fine and to just give it time. The period was in June, ultrasound the end of August; we found out we were expecting on Nov 19th after my menstrual being 8 days late. I was estatic and so was my bf. Last Wed after having sex I started spotting. The dr and nurses tried to assure me it was normal but it was not sitting well with me. Next evening I started to cramp slightly and went into urgent care. They found tissue that had passed and that more than likely I miscarried. I wanted to crybut tried to stay strong. My hcg was 318 and I was almost at 6 wks. The next two days I could not stop crying; a midwife suggested we get a plant in remembrance of our loss. We found one on Monday after going to 3 nurseries and decided upon London as a gender neutral name since we hadno indication of the babys sex. On Tuesday I had another appt and my hcg was at 32, I was amazed bc I had only miscarried 4days prior. We cnt wait to be intimate again, my dr said to wait another wk if we could but to use protection and after a cycle we could be free to try again. She assured us both that as this is painful to not be discourage bc at my age the odds of it happening again are slim. Thank you all for your responses it has helped me in this healing process.

chauntealwc1986 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

It will be 6 months in a few days since we lost our little boy at 12 weeks, and my boyfriend and I still arent ready to try again. It was our first try, and our first baby. Not unplanned, and we are both too scared to try again. Maybe one day soon we can try again but who really knows.

kcyearra |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Yeah its completely normal. I just lost my baby on nov 27 and i was 5.5 weeks. But no matter what week you were it still hurts you still lost a child. What i noticed that helps is i named my baby even though we didnt know if it was a boy or girl a baby still deserves a name. It helps out a lot with me and ive looked at it as my child is my angel baby that keeps an eye on me and my husband. We named our baby Ashton Sage, which can go for a boy or girl. Losing a baby is a horrible thing to go through and only you will know when your ready again

kaylamcrews |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my baby at 7-8 weeks...even though I was almost 3 months pregnant my body remained pregnant. I went in to my Dr. to hear the heartbeat and there wasn't one. It was a horrible feeling and then seeing my baby on the ultrasound with no beating heart was even worse. I had to have 2 D+C's because they didn't get everything out and I had an infection. I lost my baby in Sept. and in November conceived again! I am very scared that it will happen again. I hope that in time you also will want to try again. We will never forget the loss but at least we can open our arms to a new baby in time.

nmorales84 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I'm so sorry for your loss. My husband and I found out last Wednesday that we were having twins. I knew I was pregnant but this was my first ultra sound at 21 weeks and we did not know it was twins. About 30 minutes after we found out it was twins we found out that one had died around 17 weeks. The next day we went to a specialist to see if the other baby would survive or if he had any problems. Thankfully so far he is absolutely fine and the doctor said that the situation is very hopeful. I have gone through so many emotions this past week. Devestation as well as happiness because I still have one. I even sometimes feel guilty because I do have one baby and you like many others have lost your only baby. I feel that I will probably feel this loss for the rest of my life. Especially because we are going to have a constant reminder of our lost son he was the identical twin to his brother. I wrote a song for him and all unborn babies. Also for their Mothers and Fathers. I don't know if you will watch it but it may bring you some comfort. It's on youtube my account name is bigAlittleB and the song is called "I Carried You".

Angela3235 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I was pregnant with identical twin boys as well I lost one baby at 19 weeks. i was lucky enough to deliver a healthy baby boy on February 3rd, 2011. It has been over a year since I lost my other son and it hurts everyday. I don't think I will ever be able to accept what happened. To have two healthy babies and then 2 weeks later you hear that one doesn't have a heartbeat. I hope that whenever I get pregnant again, my baby/babies will be fine. It's truly a devastation to have to carry one dead baby and one live baby to full term. My heart goes out to everyone suffering from a loss. :(

brandybaby01 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

We lost our baby at 7 weeks and six days. Lasting two days, starting on the day after christmas. We are still trying to grieve over the devastation, but we believe it to be God's will. We know that if we are able to have a baby in the future that, our baby will be loved! We don't know when that will be just yet, but we know we truly want a baby.

bearwallace1 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

We believe in God's will too. My husband lost his grandfather earlier this month. We were very close to him and it was sudden. Also this month we began trying for a baby. I have one ovary so we were VERY surprised and happy to find out that we were pregnant on Christmas! We believed this was God way of sending us a blessing durint this diffiult time for our family. It was the best feeling to share this news with his family (who has been very upset about his grandfather) and my family. Both of our families are very close and we celebrated together. My doctor wanted to see me right away because of my history. The morning I woke up for my appointment, I started to spot. I knew this wasn't good. When I saw my doctor she said I shouldn't assume the worst just yet. By the time we got home from the doctors, I knew I was miscarrying. I have been resting for the past couple of days and we have been upset but we are ready to try again. My doctor said it was okay to start trying again. Next time we are going to wait a while to tell our families. We hope a baby is in our near future and if it isn't, we have been open to adoption especially with my history. However, now that we have been able to get pregnant, I am hoping it will happen again, leading to a healthy baby. Time will tell and until then, I will continue to have faith and love!

bmc82 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I found out I was pregnant on January 2nd. Went to the doctor on January 4th to get the blood work done. Went into the doctor to get the confirmation last Wednesday (January 11) and started spotting late that afternoon. I called my doctor, but they were closed so called the free medical health hotline. I sat with my feet up crying all night because I was so unsure of what was going to happen. Fortunately, there wasn't much spotting that night but after I woke up on Thursday and to the bathroom there was a gush of blood. My husband and I called my doctor, we went in right away and she said that it sounded like I was carrying (clots, blood etc). I was 5 weeks exactly. I spent the afternoon crying and I called my mom to let her know, she told my dad. The actual passing wasn't so painful, but it was and still is hard. I had to go to the emerg on Friday to get the rohgam shot, which made it very real to know that I needed a shot that most women only get when they're far into pregnancy and after delivery. We also spent the weekend with friends (who didn't know) and all I wanted to do was sit in bed instead of keeping a happy face on. I told my girlfriends at work today because I think they all suspected (2 are pregnant - 1 invited me out for a drink last Tuesday and I said no) and I also told my boss yesterday. It's hard but we were told we can try again as soon as I get a period, which since I'm still bleeding from the mc will probably take a while from what I'm told. But, we know we can get pregnant (and quickly - went off the pill end of October, 1st day of my last period was Nov 30 and ovulated late in mid-December) and so I'm hoping we'll have a sticky baby next time around and still make it for a 2012 baby and if not, we'll keep trying until we can make our duo into a family!

hiled |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

i lost my baby two days ago i was 15weeks and 4days.I was using the bathroom and i saw i was bleeding i got scared went to the hospital they check on the baby the heartbeat was fine everything look it was fine intell they notice i didnt have enough fluid they send me home,i got home and thats when i started to have alot of pain and again i went to the restroom and when i am about to pee i notice the baby was out.I personaly i dont think i am mentaly ready to get pregnant again.the baby father is trying to be strong for me telling me everything is okay.I am soo sorry to hear all this sad story. Just be strong and try again,God bless

yoah81 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Of course it's normal. I lost mine 3 months ago at 7 weeks and still I'm up tonight crying. I've heard (and said) every positive affirmation in the book. "It will happen again" "You're still young" "It's not your fault". Sometimes you just need to be sad, and that's okay. Ask anybody and they will say that traumatic experiences define you and make you stronger in the end. Maybe one day I'll believe that but tonight is just not the night. I seriously wonder if I'm brave enough to go through it all again but yet I fear that if I wait it might only get worse. I've always been very adamant about having a baby for the "right" reasons and not using a pregnancy to fill a void in your life. So is it wrong to get pregnant again as a means of healing myself from my loss? Is that fair to the next baby I might potentially conceive? If I wait until I heal myself from my loss, will it ever happen?

ct103 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I have a hard time believing I was ever pregant, let alone, that I lost the baby. I went in for my 8 week appointment & the doc couldn't find a heartbeat. The baby stopped growing at 7 weeks. Now II'm supposed to grieve and am beating myself up because I feel like it was my fault. I feel like if I would have just embraced the joy of being pregnant and allowed myself to be happy, that this wouldn't have happened. I hate to say that this happened soley to teach me how much I want to be a mom. I've always known that, but this experience has made it clear.

jennifergon |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just lost my baby this weekend at 8 weeks. We were in the mountians with no phone reception, I started bledding and cramping Friday afternoon and this continued on till Sunday morning. I feel the worst part of a miscarriage is the unknown, not knowing what is happening especially when its your first pregnancy. I was a wreck for the whole weekend, until Sunday morning. Sunday morning is when I finally passed the fetal sac, when that happened there was some what a sense of relief. You know it's over when it's over and thats when I knew. There were no more what if's. It's a very hard and sad experience but even though this just happened my husband and I are ready to start trying again and the one positive to take away from this is I now know I CAN get pregnant. That is what I am focusing on and I look forward to becoming pregnant again with the baby that is meant for me!

hlavery |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I had a miscarriage yesterday at 5 weeks, this was my first pregnancy too. We have been trying to get pregnant for 6 months so of course we were very happy to finally get back a positive result. I just turned 35 and I am already considered "high risk" so my doctor had me come in right away for a ultrasound on Monday. Everything looked great. Then yesterday morning I knew something was wrong. I woke up in the middle of the night with cramps, a few hours later I had light pink blood, then a short time later heavy bleeding and sever cramping. I knew from the minute I awoke at 3am that I was losing the pregnancy. I was devastated. As the day progressed my husband and I went through all the emotions but we both fully understand that this is fairly common and it meant that something was not right. i was appreciative that it happened early rather then in a few weeks from now and that i was at home and I could go through the process on my own and deal with it my own way with out being in the hospital or needing a DNC. I can't imagine how much more traumatizing it must be to be further along and suffer a loss. We also were both comforted by the fact that we now know that we can get pregnant. We are going to give my body a little time to readjust but we are looking forward to trying again. My heart goes out to all the hopeful mommies and daddies out there who have suffered this loss. Stay strong together and don't place blame on your self. There are so many reasons these things happen that cant be explained we just have to go through the motions, allow the feelings to come, and try, try again. Blessings ~MS

bestnews12 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Although it's sad to see that all of you ladies have suffered thru this, I do find a little comfort in knowing that I'm not alone. I just came back from my appt this morning, only to find out that at 8 weeks 3 days, I will be miscarrying soon. It is such torture to know that there is no heartbeat or development, and waiting for the outcome of bleeding and passing of tissue. We went last friday (7 wks, 3 days) and the MD heard no heartbeat. We thought she was crazy, esp since all of my symptoms have been in overdrive. We prayed and stayed positive and gave blood in the meantime (for beta levels). My levels went from 62,832 to 62,439. But I googled and read that at 8 weeks, the levels may reach a peak and level off. Then this morning, I did not feel my sensitivity in the boobs. We went in, and she confirmed again, no heartbeat, and no further development. She left the option to me: wait to pass tissue, DnC or take the pills. We went with the prescription for the pills but she said it was ok to wait a week to see if I will pass on my own. I'm a nurse and have to do a 12hr shift tomorrow. I don't want to use all my sick time just yet, at least until there's alot of bleeding. This waiting is torture in itself. I'm so sad and my wonderful husband is doing all he can to make me feel better. I'm so glad I have the support. The thing that sucks is I just told the whole department I work with, so that my work load in the first trimester would be easy. Now I have to go back and tell the whole department what happened. Everyone was so excited, especially when I started the whole nausea/vomiting thing at work. (can't really hide pregnancy when you're vomiting in front of everyone). We do want to try again soon, but I do want to take a little time to deal with the emotions. Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. I've read them all, and cried with each of you. GL for eveyone.

lizzyb530 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just found out I miscarried today. Last week we went for our ultrasound at 8 weeks and the baby only measured 6 weeks with a fetal HB of 54 BPM. The doctor wasn't hopeful, so she scheduled me for a follow-up to be certain. This morning they weren't able to find a heartbeat. :( This last week has been so hard just waiting to hear, what I knew to be, the inevitable. My DH is trying to be so positive and upbeat, but he even broke down and cried several times today. My D&C is scheduled for tomorrow, I wanted to get it done and over with as quickly as possible so we can start picking up the pieces and moving on. The doctor suggested waiting two full cycles until we try again, which could be 8 weeks. I was so excited to be PG in the summer and fall, and have a fall baby! I guess it just wasn't the right packaging, and hopefully the next baby sticks...

RuthRose92384 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Today my husband and I went to have our first ultrasound done. The nurse did not show us the screen, she left the room and we waited, and found out that we miscarried. Except that its a missed miscarry so she suggested having a D and C, IDK. I was at 10 weeks tommorow, my first pregnancy. It's hard..... I dont' know what to do...

agolla |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

It's normal according to everyone here that I can see. On March 19, my wedding anniversary, I experienced what I believe to be a miscarriage. I was advised to go to the hospital but wouldn't go because I was scared and didn't want to know. I didn't even know I was pregnant when this all happened. I just had my OBGYN appointment on Wednesday and was told that while a miscarriage cannot be 100% confirmed because I didn't seek immediate medical attention that it was more likely than not that I did in fact have a miscarriage. Blood was drawn and testing is being done to ensure that there aren't any serious problems that caused me to miscarry. Then, we go from there. I told my family and friends as best I could. I'm still kinda numb about the whole thing as far as expressing how I feel. I know that I don't like talking about it, mostly because I'm angry and ashamed at how I initially handled it. I know that I'm terribly sad and crying inside but my emotions just aren't there. I'm quiet and reserved now but for the most part I can semi-talk about it. I'm the strong one in my family and when something like this happens I want to break down but feel like that's not what's expected of me. I'm so lost and want to have a family. We've just "celebrated" our one year wedding anniversary and don't have children. This is a tough one...

martinigirl4 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my baby at 10 an a half week and I had a D&C. I think what is hurting me most is having a partner who is giving me the silent treatment for telling one of my friend that I had a miscarriage. I think he is thinking that because we had one, we might be defected .. I am going all through this alone, suffering alone, crying alone, grieving alone.. It is not the loss of my child that I have to go through but I have to deal with my husband's emotional status as well. I am holding up but I feel deeply sad. My Obgyn advised us to wait at least 2 periods to try to conceive again so the uterus wall will be stronger. Wish me luck and pray for me. I need positive emotions to deal with mine.

Amyroserose |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I couldn't go through with the procedure. I was on the table with the gown and it was like a scene from Clockwork Orange. "You'll be groaning with pain but will forget it all because we're giving you a hypnotic and the machine will be very noisy." I just thought for a moment about the risks, the expense, the invasiveness...talked with Jeff and then called my girlfriend who's an OB and made my decision.....I had them unhook me from the EKG and cords, etc, and asked the doctor to just give me Cytotec, the medical abortion drug which makes the uterus contract. I'm going to do that on my own next week if things don't start on their own. My inner voice roared up and I had to listen to it, awkward as it was with the team of nurses all suited up ready to go. The doctor was very gracious about it all. I can't stand to see pictures of other people's babies or see pregnant ladies walking around town. that is surprisingly hard and makes me upset with myself that I resent other people's happiness and good fortune.

ashasmom1 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just miscarried on Saturday. I was at almost 11 weeks when I started bleeding. I called the doctor and he said it was probably nothing, but that I should have an ultrasound just in case. I had a really bad feeling because I hadn't had any bleeding up to this point and for the week prior my pregnancy symptoms had disappated. I knew when the nurse called it "the fetus". It looked like the baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks and there was no heartbeat. This was my first pregnancy and I had told quite a few people because I thought I was far enough a long that I was in the clear. It's like my body played a cruel joke on me.. I know we will try again in a few months but right now I just miss my baby.

klane2 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my daughter at 23 weeks. This was my second loss and I know how hard it is but anyone who has expierienced this can tell you, we all grieve differently. It isn't fair and there is no one to blame. Please have faith that your wishes will be granted. I am praying for you all.

cc_alcantar |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I found out yesterday morning at 11 weeks that my baby's heart stopped beating. I was hoping and praying this was a mistake, but the doctor said the baby's heart had stopped beating a week ago and the baby had stopped growing at 10 weeks and 1 day. I felt like someone hit me in the chest with a MAC truck. I was so excited for my ultrasound and in a matter of minutes my whole world was turned upside down. I have a D&C scheduled for later this day, I know this is something I have to do, but part of me wants to believe this is just a bad dream and hope the doctor was wrong. My husband was devastated, but he is trying to be strong for me. We will try again, but I am terrified. I can't go through this kind of hurt again:-(

Lashleyproctor |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

My husband and I have been married for 2 years, and we have been TTC for about 7 months. We took 3 home pregnancy tests that all showed up positive... we were ecstatic. We decided to call my doctor to confirm the pregnancy, she called in a blood pregnancy test and we went the next day. The following day my doctors office called and told me the test came back negative, i wasn't pregnant. I was obviously very confused, she told me to come in, she would do another urine test with me. This is when she told me I had miscarried. I had no idea how many women this happens to. I lost my first baby at 6 weeks, this is the worst thing I have ever experienced. I hope one day my husband and I have a successful pregnancy.. but I will never forget my little baby who was taken from me too soon....

CamoBarbie87 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my baby at 6 weeks in a half and my husband wants to try again n i dnt think im ready either becuase im scared for this to happen again i think its normal

nena 1719 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

We lost our baby a few weeks ago at around 15 weeks. Apparently this is termed as a "late miscarriage." It just feels so unfair. My body still feels empty without her. I want a baby so badly now, so it's hard not to want to try again soon, but we are waiting a year. I also know no baby will ever replace what this baby was. I thought I had made it past 12 weeks, and was therefore "safe." I don't know how I will deal with the anxiety of this happenign again next time I'm pregnant. I've reached a point of sort of numbness to facing this, but I still just get so depressed. And it still feels so surreal.

Roxycc55 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I had a miscarriage this week, somewhere around 8 weeks (we hadn't gotten to the point when they really figure it out). Guess this baby wasn't perfect enough for us... The hardest part for me is that I *don't* feel depressed and guilty and angry... I can't find anyone else who understands that, although I'm usually a very emotional person, this is something that I'm doing okay with. My parents (and my hubby, I think) seem to think I'm going to crash & burn at some point--they don't get it. I understood this was a risk going in, we hadn't gotten to hear a heartbeat yet, and when I started spotting I worked through the emotions then. Yes, it's been an awful week, but I can't wait to start trying again. My sympathies to every woman on this board; we truly are a "sisterhood" now and must support each other always...

mrsbeefhead |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Ladies you have help me know I'm not alone. We had twins, we sadly lost one 4 weeks ago and the second this past weekend. My husband and sad but I know that I'm not alone. We all have had this strange loss happen to us, it's wierd. We all deal with it in strange ways, one minute I want to book a vacation away, the next minute I want to cry 2 seconds later I'm thinking should we try again and if so when? Life is about failling, living is about getting back up!

Mehal77 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I had a miscarriage a couple of months ago, at 6.5 weeks, and I still often find myself crying. Some days I can go a whole week without crying and other weeks its like I just lost my baby. My husband and I have been talking about trying again and I have a panic attack. I want to try again but I'm scared, I don't want to go through this again. At the same time I'm over 35 and our dr is telling us sooner is better. Its a lot to emotionally deal with.

meggier |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Hi I married on May then before married we found out pregnancy.But I misscarriage almost 8weeks.that happened after married.I really really sad and didnt want see anybody do not go out allday staied house after misscariage.And I got after D&C(need clean my utirus)pass first piriod then 3days ago I found pregnancy again..But I afraid cause If I will gt misscariage again..But anyway already I ve praganant so any situation we cant reduce any risk..Some people after miscarriage separate 2 type.One of group need long time to forget stand up again.Other group try again.Anyway I think most important is"Not forget baby was there"so That point.If you cry everyday babay althought not happy too.Wish you will soon get happy again!!Im sorry not good at answer..

huntingwolf |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just spent the night in the ER. I was about 6 weeks along and had been spotting and cramping for three days and then I noticed the blood turned more red and was heavy so I booked it to the ER and they did an ultrasound and couldn't find anything and said my HCG levels were consistant with that of someone who is 3 weeks pregnant so they gave me two scenarios saying I was only 3 weeks pregnant and could actually carry full term or I miscarried. I came home and have been crying since. I can't stop! I don't feel the same. I honestly don't feel like the embryo is still there. My husband tells me I am being irrational and to wait and see what the doctor says but he didn't see what I saw and he didn't feel what I'm feeling. This was our first pregnancy and I just feel scared about everything. That this is going to drive a wedge between my husband and I and about trying again. Is this reaction normal? or should I seek help?

dmdeshler |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

On July 10, 2009, I lost my little boy at 19 weeks. I had massive bleeding, and don't remember most of the events that took place that night. My fiance at the time, just honestly couldn't take it, and we broke up about 7 months later, after it came to light that he had a substance abuse problem. Three years later, I'm now married, very happy, and my DH is just that, he is very good to me. We've only been married for about 3 months now, but we're already talking about trying to have children, and honestly, I'm terrified that we will go through a miscarriage. I am just so scared that I will have another one, to the point that the night before our wedding, I told him flat out that if he wants to have kids, maybe he should just leave me because it's going to be an uphill battle with us trying to have kids due to the fact that I have PCOS, Endometriosis, as well as Familial Mediterranean Fever, which all play a huge factor into my infertility. Please don't lose faith! Reading all of you lovely ladies going through much the same thing makes me feel not so bad, just keep on trucking and maybe our days will come!

shortnmouthy |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just lost my baby at 9.5 weeks this past Monday. On Friday I had been to a MFM Dr. And had a great heart beat, on Monday I went in for my first real ob appt and there was no heartbeat, no cramping or bleeding or anything, it was just a normal weekend. My husband and I are devasted.

aprilcwalters |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I was 39 wks pregnant with my 4th baby i was going to the doc twice a week because of high blood pressure. My last appt was on a thursday Aug. 2 I was put on the monitor. I had a scheduled csection on Monday Aug.6, I went into the hospital on Aug. 5 because I wasn't feeling movement, i had felt him moving normal the night before bed. I did not expect it to be anything at all when I went to the hospital just being cautious. When they hooked me up to the machine the nurses could not find the heartbeat. They did not want to confirm the death until the doctor arrived. It took the doctor 10-15 mins to arrive and confirm. I was at a loss of words empty inside. I still cant believe what happened to my family and why. I have an 8 and 4yr old. I had a miscarriage in 2008 at 5wks. I want another baby but I just dont know how I will feel during the course of the pregnancy, as far as not knowing what the end may bring after being heartbroken like this and having two losses. The autopsy was basically ruled to a cord incident constricting his blood flow. My Amir would be 12wks, I think about him baby everyday and I just pray for another healthy baby the next time. One thing I know is that I wish I did not have to wait at least 9 more months.

lorettalynrodgers |

emotions-after-a-miscarriage

I went in for my ultra sound today to find out the baby had no blood flow and is dead. I'm sitting here typing this message with the dead fetus still inside me. Apparently I was 8 or 10 weeks along. Im scheduled for a "missed abortion" or (scraping) procedure for friday. Seems pretty cruel to have to walk around for 3 days with a dead fetus inside me but I guess that's standard when you depend in state health care. I can't say im devastated, honeslty part of me feels I deserve it. I've never wanted children and haven't missed an oppertunity to express the fact. I had though just come to terms with the idea of mothering and it took a lot for me not to cry like a child in the Dr's office. I keep telling myself it wasn't meant to be and that it could be worse. Everyone seems to be making such a big deal and I just want to let it go and forget it ever happened. Im not sure if Im supposed to crash or Im just numb.. Maybe ill really feel it friday as I endure the OR procedure but for now. Im just managing with the cards i got dealt. Sorry for your loss ladies.. N Good luck with future pregnancies.

Taty28 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Honey, I am terribly sympathetic towards your loss. I lost our first at 7 weeks. it was super devastating. I literally closed everyone out of my life. I will tell you that it is best to try again when you are ready. i say that because it took me close to 2yrs to move forward.

chelseacapps |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Today is the 2nd day. I lost my baby at week 10 in the early morning hours. I don't know how I will move on from this loss. I took yesterday off of work but decided to come to work today. I don't know how I am going to move on. I'm scared of getting pregnant again and having to loose another baby would be even harder then loosing one and I dont know if I can go through this twice. The ER said I will pass the baby naturally most likely.... how am I going to get through that? Will it look like a baby.... please.... I need some help and guidance from those who have been through this before.

abryan013 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just lost my baby on Christmas. Two days ago. I started bleeding last week, called the doctor and she reassured me that bleeding is normal in the 6-8 week range when the sac is implanting itself into the uterine wall. Everyday the bleeding got worse. I anxiously awaited my 7 week appointment to hear the heartbeat, to again be reassured that my baby was ok and this all was normal, but the night before, I passed the entire embryo. That image is something I will never forget. I had this instant panic, and started bleeding profusely. I went to the ER and they confirmed that I had passed the pregnancy. The emotional pain is so intense. We went through so much to get pregnant. We were so happy when we found out. The first try! And we didn't even know if we would be able to. Now I am truly heart broken and though I am anxious to try again, I don't know if I could survive this happening again. Every cramp, every pinch I felt during pregnancy terrified me, and I can only think I will be even worse next time, now that this has happened.

Calbear559 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I'm deeply sorry to read so many miscarriage situations... but I also found comfort finding out that this is not seldom... I lost my baby at 9 weeks the past december and although I feel so much better now, I never had gone through an experience like that one before in my life! Thankfully I have a very supportive DH and an awesome family who have been by my side the whole time... I took everything the most positive way and I think we are going to TTC again as soon as we have green light. Cheer up ladies! The best is yet to come!

VaneH |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

My husband and I found out that we were pregnant Christmas morning we were overjoyed and felt like "Santa" brought us the best present. On the way to our families house to open presents about two hours later, we were hit by a drunk driver. Our car was totaled and we were just feeling lucky to be alive. She almost hit us head on. My husband and I were very concerned about our baby, but everyone assured us that everything should be fine because I wasn't very far along. We went in for our first ultra sound at seven weeks and found out the baby wasn't the size it should have been and the heart beat was below 100. We went back in a week later and there was no heart bet. Today I should have been nine weeks, but I had my D and C instead. I am very sad. My sister in law had her third baby while I was under. I don't know if it is because I could have really lost my husband or my own life in the accident. But even though I am really sad I am ready to try again when we can. This loss was one of the most difficult things that I have gone through, but I know that losing my husband would be way worse. While I am scared that we might miscarry again. I want to be a mom and the only way I can do that is by trying again. If I fail again, we will try again. I really think it will be worth this heartbreak when my heart fills up the first time I hold our baby.

KristaJones2 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I can totally relate to all of you. I lost my first baby at 6 weeks on 21 Dec 12. It was an unexpected pregnancy but I was still excited. The place where I work has at least 2 other pregnant women who all started with me. They are all starting to show and are looking at me with pity and I just feel so upset and hurt because I know that I wouldve been 16 weeks and showing by now. I never even got a chance to see my baby's heart beat or even see an ultrasound. I did start trying again immediately after my next period and I am currently pregnant again but I fear that the situation will reoccur every day. I only pray that this pregnancy will last to full term. Its hard to tell my significant other how I feel because he doesn't understand. I don't feel that he would get why I'm still crying over a lost child when I have another baby on the way. I just get so scared that I will have another miscarriage. I am taking this pregnancy day by day, expecting it to work out for the best.

wordplay |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I soooooo want to have a miscarriage I didn't want another child why can't it be me

Lachunda |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

That is absolutely normal. I had a D&E at 10 weeks becasue of a Blighted Ovum. I am 6w3d pregnant now and terrified does not begin to explain how I feel. I keep trying ot be positive but it took me a little while to try again and I just know that I don't want that again. Its super scary. I am trying to be positive. Maybe if we are positive we will feel better... Take your time. When you are ready you will be able to go into it with your whole heart.

licia2210 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I am not ready to go into too much detail but it will be 4 weeks since my D&C this Thursday and I am finding that my first cycle is very heavy but not painful, like they were before I got pregnant. We lost our baby at 8.5 weeks and found out at our ultra sound that there was no heartbeat, that was Jan. 21. I then attempted to allow the miscarriage to complete naturally, which we thought it had until February 16 when ,while with my family home for the purpose of laying my grandmother to rest, contractions started again. We discovered that I had a piece of what looked to be placenta left inside. We waited another few days to see if it would come out naturally and it didn't so we scheduled the D&C for the 28th of Feb. This seems to have dragged on longer than it should have and I feel numb most days (before was the happiest bubbliest person you could imagine) and wonder if the length of time it took to go through the miscarriage is partially why. I put on a happy, brave mask at work, out with friends, with family, etc. but that is all it is most of the time, a mask. I miss myself and want to get back there but feel as though I have lost my way. Just hoping that someone on here can show me a light at the end of the tunnel since mine seems to be fading. I feel lucky to have found support in these boards over the past 2 months but this is the first time I have had the guts to post anything. My heart goes out to all of you as well since I understand how hard this all can be. Thank you all for your brave posts.

SammySarah |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

It is very normal not to want to have a child right away. My husband and I lost our son when I was 8.5 months. We were all ready to have our baby boy and I woke up one morning with strange back pain and my son wasn't moving. My mother and I went to the doctors office bc I had an appointment. There was no heartbeat from the baby. The dr tried to reassure me telling me that they should find out whats going on so he sent me to the local hospital for an ultrasound there was no heartbeat. The technitions left the room with my mom and she came in balling saying he was gone. It was a very tramatic situation I called my husband told him he had to come in that somethings wrong it hadnt hit me yet, my hubby has epilepsy so I was kinda scared on how he was going to react. He walked in cryin after being told our baby was gone. I was enduced and had a epidural that only started working when it came time for the after birth and I felt everything. My husband saw our son and he is scared on whats going to happen with this on. I keep reassuring him that this one will be different but I am scared as well. I am alittle over 20weeks now with another little boy. It has been almost three years since, we lost our son and gave birth on August 25th, 2010. Hold on to the little miracles we have bc yu never know when your life with tragically be changed.

sammich6509 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I was just beginning my 8th week when I miscarried and it took me nearly a year to pluck up the courage to try again. My heart still hurts and, now that I'm nearly five weeks, my emotions about the miscarriage are resurfacing as doubts and fears. Knowing what to be wary of, though, helps ease some of those worries.

GracefulDuck |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

It's completely normal, I had a missed miscarriage at 17 weeks and it took me months to be brave enough to fall pregnant again.

Cremarosa13 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I had one a few months ago.I was about 10 weeks along. It was hard for me to deal with the loss and also the miscarriage was much more difficult then I expected. We have talked about trying again but I find I am more afraid of having another miscarriage then I am of the pregnancy. I have had people ask about when we are going to try again and have told me their thoughts on things. I find it helpful to give a simple answer of when it happens it happens but right now I am just happy being married. It is the truth too. I think people sort of get the hint that its not an easy thing for me to respond to and that I am just not ready yet. It is very normal to not feel ready so dont let anyone make you feel it isnt. But I would make sure you sit down with your husband or boyfriend and just let them know how you feel and dont hold back because it is your body and your mental health.

LovePiggys1027 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

My pregnancy wasn't planned, I was living with my husband in France. But I'd always wanted to be a mom and was amazed at how quickly I became attached to the idea. At 6 weeks I started spotting over the weekend. The doctor told us to wait until Monday, we had an ultrasound, saw the baby, saw the heartbeat. And then a week later, on vacation with my family, I lost the baby and had to go to the ER, had to tell my family I was pregnant and losing the baby, had to try to make French insurance work in the US. And then I had to go home, alone, no longer pregnant. It's just so sad, I feel like I screwed up, like I wasn't good enough...even though I known there's nothing I could do. It's really hard seeing everyone else's happy, healthy pregnancies...I'm happy for them, but I keep thinking that should be me still. I miss my baby, and I'm scared to try and fail again. I guess this was probably for the best, the way it was supposed to be, but that's still really hard to accept. I'm sorry for all of your losses and wish you all comfort and peace.

across8791 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just lost my baby 2 days ago at 6 1/2 weeks, and I'm an emotional wreck... My husband and I had been trying for 6 years and were just completely ecstatic when we finally got pregnant, so now I'm that much more depressed and definitely wish we hadn't told anyone we were pregnant. It's going to be difficult telling everyone who's so happy for us that we are no longer expecting. I think we will try again, when we are ready but there is no way to know when that will be. I think we have to heal physically, mentally, and emotionally first and everyone is different so there is no set time. When you're ready, you'll know.

Maureene239 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

We lost our baby on May 28th 2013 I had to have a D&C done this past Wednesday. I have a daughter that is 7 years old and she, my husband and I were very excited about this baby. I am 32 years of age and my husband is 49. On Monday May 26, 2013 we saw our precious baby and the heart beating, the legs were up. I dreamed twice he was a boy and my husband dreamed twice we were having a boy. I was due December 21,2013. I can't express the hurt I feel physically and emotionally. I am healing physically but emotionally I cry almost every morning or everyday. When I see my stomach going down and see the blood it constant reminds me that we lost our precious baby. I wanted another baby so bad.... Now I feel that everybody that knows that I was pregnant I am going to have to explain to them we lost our baby if they ask or mentioned it. I feel like I experienced the labor and pain and the afterbirth but just didn't bring our baby home. How can I get through this??? I have prayed for strength peace and understanding. My family and friends keep telling me that I'm still young and we can try again but it just don't console me. My daughter and my husband have been very supportive. I have never experienced this before and I just don't know how to face it. I want to look at it in a positive way but I keep thinking to myself that what could I have done to cause this. I don't drink nor smoke. I ate vegetables, fruits and drunk juices and water. I wasn't stressed or overworked. So what could have cause this. Then I realize that maybe God didn't want me to go through things worst because it could've been worst. I just want to feel better emotionally and try again, but I will never forget about our precious baby. I know one day we will meet him or her one day. I also know that our baby is our little angel watching down on us.

momwithhope |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Thank you to all you ladies for your answers, they've helped me just as much. I miscarried at 11.5 weeks in April. My husband and I were heartbroken. I was told by several family members and friends that everyone responds differently to loss. Many were not ready to try to conceive again right away. I had the opposite desire. I just wanted to be pregnant again right away. I was so sad for the loss of a child we would never know, but I felt (and still feel) like the only true way my heart will heal is to carry a pregnancy to term. We were told we should wait 3-6 months before trying again, and since my husband deployed in May for four months, we decided it was best to wait to ttc until he is back. If I have learned anything in the last few months, and by all of your responses, it is that in such a heartbreaking situation, any feeling is NORMAL! take whatever time is needed for you to feel ready again!

jbvisaggio |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

The important thing to do right now is to take care of yourself first. As difficult as it is to ignore other people's input on your situation, you are the one in control. I too lost my twins at 8 weeks. I didn't find out until my 10 week appointment that I had not just lost one baby but two. It was very difficult and I think more difficult for me than my husband. I knew I wanted another baby but mentally I needed to prepare myself for the next pregnancy and make sure that I was taking all the right steps. Something must have happened for a reason, because now 4 months later... we are pregnant again. I am only 4 weeks along so let's pray everything turns out alright. Best of luck to you and remember take care of yourself first :)

freezy235 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

What you feel is always important. Regardless of whether or not someone else thinks its normal. Take time to grieve. Talk about it. You would be very surprised how many women you know have had a miscarriage or similar loss. It's very common for women not to talk about it. But getting those feelings out there can make you feel more comfortable if you do decide to try again.

hopediva |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my baby last month at 7 1/2 weeks. This baby was a surprise that my husband was not ready fro. We already have two children and are struggling to make ends meet. I have been ready for a while to have another baby and I was so happy. When I started spotting and cramping I knew something was wrong. The following morning the bleeding got heavier and the cramping got worse. We went to the hospital and they could not confirm or deny that I was having a miscarriage but they said it did not look good. I had to return to the hospital in two days for more testing. By then the bleeding had stopped and I was optimistic. The doctor told me that since my bleeding had stopped she thought the my hormone levels would have doubled and I would be fine. This was not the case. Over the following week I had to go back to the doctor for blood tests every two days until my hormones were down to zero. It took 2 1/2 weeks of blood draws before my levels came all the way down. This experience has been awful. For days I did not speak to anyone and now, while I can hold a perfectly normal conversation...I do not want to talk about what has happened to me. I am alone in my grief because my husband is relieved. I feel like I am seeing pregnant women and babies every where. When will this get easier???

aprilmontgomery |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Its so encouraging to hear these stories. Never thought it would happen to me but it did this past Wednesday. Wednesday night I went to the bathroom and all this blood came out. I just started crying because of all the blood. I was planning on going to my first OB visit that Friday. So my husband and I went to the ER and they pretty much told me I had a miscarriage. I go to the doctors on Monday for an ultrasound. I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason and that GOD has my back! May God bless all of you!!

arjones79 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I don't know how old this is but I was just going through and looking up info. 1st it is normal to not feel ready. Every woman is different so while some may be ready right away others may not be for awhile. I myself lost my first baby between 20-22 weeks. I was very sick for almost 2 months, couldn't eat NOTHING and after being released from the hospital 1 day before Christmas a week later I went for a follow up appointment and there they told me my daughter was no longer breathing, Even though I was told by many that I handled it very well I still felt a little lost, sad, mad, and disappointed months after. But its now about 8 months later and good news...im about 7 weeks with another. All though im VERY excited im also VERY nervous. But I just got a gut feeling everything is going to be ok. I got faith in GOD that he does everything for a reason. My fiancé (who was not the father of my 1st) is the perfect example. I wish you and anyone else going through this the best.

jnisha |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

After over a year of trying to get pregnant, I finally was! I was so excited! then at 7 weeks the cramps and bleeding started, my heart was breaking. We wanted this baby more than anything in the world. To make matters worse my sister-in-law found out what she was having the day I lost ours. She was able to get pregnant after 2 weeks of being married, I feel like less of a woman now, I know that I'm not but I just feel bad. People keep trying to give me kind words but some of them just end up hurting more. Everyday is getting a little better and a little easier but I still hurt. I don't know when we are going to start trying again but I know when the time comes I'll be ready.

EmilyDiepholz |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Feeling a little numb found out at a routine checkup I was supposed to be 10wks 2d but I only measured 9wks 3d. Had an emergency D&C today. I guess I don't know how I feel.

Briala |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

i think that you should be ready when you are i lost my baby on July 31 2013 i was 3 months pregnant and now it is October and i just found out im pregnant again w\maybe twins so yes its normal everybody heals in their own time good luck to you

jenniferbp123 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just lost mine last monday, I was 10w6days. I went to the ER with bleeding, then sort of stormed out after they gave me an ultrasound picture of my dead child and left me alone. I miscarried naturally, though I didn't expect the contractions or the gruesomeness of it after having one at only 5weeks. I'm still sort of bitter, this is my 2nd pregnancy and my 2nd loss. I think I'm taking the winter off to binge drink and whine about my life, and we'll try again next spring.

lreyerson1 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my first two babies at 8 weeks within a year of each other. Two years later I am 35 weeks pregnant with a baby girl and couldn't be happier. Just do what feel right.

MinnieE123 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost my baby in 8 wks gestation time too: March 2013. I was heartbroken and scared that my husband would be upset. I felt isolated and alone - but when my husband held me after I informed him, and told me we'd have another chance to try again, I was comforted by the fact he still wanted to try - but I couldn't talk about the miscarriage to anyone, it hurt to much to talk about a life that never had a chance. Sadly the miscarriage was my fault - according to my medical issue I had stopped taking my medicine that regulated my Thyroid and so - the baby did not get the proper nutrients and chemicals needed to develop and remain alive. But blessings still come after tragedy, on June 15, 2013 I was pregnant again. It was like a ray of sunshine had come and pulled me out of the darkness of my loss. But like everyone else has stated, everyone reacts differently. Finding support from family, friends or even your spouse is a good way to begin healing.

KathrynFN87 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

On jan 16 2014 i went to the hospital because i was in so much pain but im not gonna get in to details but at 3 months or 12weeks pregnant i lost my baby and had to go thru it alone it was hard and still im not to sure how to feel but i can only say for being my first pregnancy it was hard and i dont know if ill ever have kids because of this and it is hard for a women to go thru if u need to talk to someone who went thru losing there baby like you did im here anytime

lissettejgar |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I just lost my baby of about 6 weeks a few days ago. My fiance and I just told our parents the day before it happened. Having had a successful pregnancy before this just floored me. We were so excited, then to just have to turn around and say 'false alarm' is absolutely heartbreaking. I am planning on trying again right away as soon as I can but I am terrified that this will happen again. Everyone grieves differently, our approach is that we want a baby so we are going to try anything and everything as soon as we can to achieve it. Fingers crossed that everyone has success in their future pregnancies.

Shayna0408 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I miscarried at nearly 12 weeks and that was 3 months ago. I had bad cramping and then started to bleed. My ultrasound that day showed no heart beat and my Dr. Said to expect heavy bleeding the following week. I experienced two bouts of VERY intense cramping/bleeding within the next two weeks that was very similar to full-blown labor pains (my son is 9). I also passed the baby, my Dr. never told me to expect that. It was devastating to pull him/her out from inside of me (I assumed it was a blood clot that was stuck). I also ended up going to the ER 6 weeks after my m/c because I was bleeding very heavily, passing huge clots, and feeling faint. Upon admission I was rushed to trauma where they had me consent to a blood transfusion. My HCG levels were still showing positive. It has been an emotional journey but I finally had my first cycle after literally 2 1/2 months of continuous bleeding and my husband and I are trying again although I am very fearful of miscarrying again. 3 of my friends are due around the same time I would have been and I am jealous and upset that it's not me. This is the first time I've talked about it in so much detail. I'm thankful I have a safe place to share. Good luck, ladies, in pursuit of whatever your dreams may be.

Kaylelijah |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I lost at 10 1/2 weeks gestation and it was the hardest thing for me. I felt bad b/c my husband wanted to start trying to get pregnant again right away and i was so scared I hardly wanted to have sex at all for about 6 months. I got very depressed and ended up having to go get professional help to help my emotions. It has now been 2 years and we still have not concieved but have recently found out that my husband has some fertility problems (low sperm count) we are looking into IUI.

idgeway |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

i think so my friend. Catering di Depok Catering di Bandung i hope i can use this sugestion all members for my self, thanks for sharing Jasa Catering di Depok Jasa Catering di Tangerang

gantengsekali |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I Am Sixteen Years Old && I Wasn't Ready For A Baby But I Got Pregnant. I Was 4 Weeks Pregnant && Excited To Be Honest ... Well My God Mother Told My Momma && I Told Her & Right After That I Started Bleeding I Went To The Doctor && They Told Me I Was Going Through Too Much Stress && I Lost My Baby. My Heart Was Literally Aching I Felt Like It Was My Fault ! I Don't Know How To Deal With This ??? Any Ideas ? I Just Wanna Say I Am Praying For All The Women Who Have Lost Their Pregnancy .

felixxbabee |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

Felixxabee- I am sorry you are going through this. Know it's not your fault. I wish I could say we have total control of this, but we don't. Know it's okay to grieve, it's okay to feel mad or sad. It's okay to give your little one a name and celebrate them and love them. Suggestions: join a support group, go to counseling, memorialize your child, journal. Speak with your loved ones about how you are feeling. Cry, don't hold it in. Know your not alone, as hard as that maybe. Praying for your healing and future.

bbellb02 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

i think so my friend. Paket Pernikahan Catering di Bandung i hope i can use this sugestion all members for my self, thanks for sharing Jasa Catering di Jakarta selatan Catering di Tangerang

gantengsekali |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

I have had two miscarriages in 3 months and after the first on I was ready immediately after because I thought, hey, this is a common occurance in first time pregnancies... However, after the second one I feel differently. I think the main issue is not knowing why they happened. I had blood work done to test me for several different conditions that can cause recurrent miscarriages and tested negative for everything. Although my doctor said we could try again whenever we're ready, my husband and I decided to wait 3 months so my body could get back into its normal rhythm. Here I am now heading into the second month and the idea of getting pregnant again is terrifying! I dont want to go through that pain again! I want a baby so bad but the thought of losing another one is scary. What also makes it difficult is that my original due date is coming up and I think about how far along I should be and that we should be having baby showers and getting ready to be parents. Its almost as hard as finding out we lost our babies. No one can tell you when to try again, it has to be your decision! Don't give up though! Trust me, I know that is easier said then done!

JennyLynn1121 |

Q&A: Emotions after a miscarriage?

i think so my friend. Yamaha R15 indonesia Cek Tagihan pln i hope i can use this sugestion all members for my self, thanks for sharing Menu Buka Puasa Cheat gta sand andreas PC Model baju lebaran

gantengsekali |