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Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

Re: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

The Bump Expert

You’ve had the bag packed for weeks. Relaxing music? Check. Favorite pillow? Check. But have you given any thought to who you’ll bring into the delivery room? It may sound like a pretty simple consideration, but some women find it surprisingly tricky to negotiate -- particularly when family members take the liberty of inviting themselves. Here are a few things to think about and some advice from moms who’ve been there:

Hospital regulations
Many have a two-person rule (mom-to-be plus two); others have no official limits and leave it up to the doctors to decide. But when it comes to dealing with potential crashers, the two-person rule makes a great excuse…regardless of whether your hospital actually has this policy. By placing the blame on hospital regulations, you’ll be able to sidestep any possible hurt feelings.

Head of the bed, foot of the bed, or the waiting room?
Now’s the time to be completely frank about what you’re comfortable with. Maybe the whole family is welcome as long as they stay near the head of the bed, or you’re totally fine with your little brother witnessing “the miracle of life” at close range. Just be sure to establish the ground rules ahead of time and don’t assume your partner (or anyone else) can read your mind.

Timing is everything
Be ultra-specific about when you want to have other people with you. Maybe you’re happy to have a full house during the labor, but when it comes to the actual delivery, everyone but your husband needs to vamoose. Those first moments spent bonding with baby are very special, and many parents don’t want anyone intruding.

Recovery rules
And what about the period after the birth, when families just love to swoop in? If you deliver via C-section, you may not want visitors for a few days or more; if you delivery naturally, you may be up for entertaining by the end of the day. Troubleshoot these situations in advance, and you’ll be able to focus on what really matters…your new baby.

Still not sure what to do? Check out these words of wisdom from moms who’ve been there

98.4% of users want to share this intimate bonding experience with a spouse or partner…
“I was pretty strict about NO guests in the delivery room (besides my partner). I can’t imagine someone not intimately involved in the process of creating the child being in the room during the birth!” …while some worry that hubby could be a little clueless “My husband’s been warned that he's out as soon as he begins comparing me to livestock or anything that happens at our ranch!”

29.5% want the experience and support of parents or in-laws…
“Beforehand, I told my mom that I wanted it to be my husband and me. But when the time came and she left the room, I wanted her back in. She’d been through this before and was so encouraging! My husband ran after her, and she started bawling when he asked her to come back.” …though they’re also known to commit some of the worst sins “I kicked my father out of the delivery room when he asked, ‘So…how exactly do contractions feel?’ while I was right in the middle of one. We laughed afterward, but at that moment, I wanted to kill him!”

9% like the comfort of siblings…
“My sister is my very best friend, and since she already has a child, she was really able to help me through it. I’ll be in the delivery room with her when she has her next one.” …but be careful: some brothers and sisters make themselves too comfortable “My sister not only took a picture of me while I was in labor, she keeps giving me copies of it for my birthday! Gee, just what I wanted.”

4.9% found laid-back, low-maintenance friends the best option
“I’m inviting my best friend because I know she won't expect me to talk to her, but she will be there for me.”

10.2% invited someone else altogether -- the latest trend: doulas and labor coaches
“I had only a doula, who massaged my head and told me exactly what was going on during my c-section. She was a dream. My husband was banned (I didn’t want him to view the birth lest it spoil our sex life). So I took care of myself, and I heartily recommend it to every future mommy.”

Hallie Goodman Hallie Goodman

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

my husband

Silvana1989 |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

my husband... and if for some reason he faints my mom is second in command!

destiny9282 |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

the hubby and best friend just in case!

fpadaon |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

When my husband told me his mom said she would be in the delivery room when our child is born, I was appalled to the fact that it should be my decision! I absolutely want my husband in there and maybe my mom too (she and I are very close). His mother is a sweetheart though and I figure this is as big of a moment for him as it is for me so as long as the moms stay up by the head, they can be there. But only my husband will be allowed to sneak a peek! :)

molibaker |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

I had my husband, my mom, his mom, my dad, (his dad was behind the curtin and came in when i was pushing), four relatives, gramdmas, god mothers, (god fathers were outside the door and came in as soon as the birth was done). There was 12 people in the room when I gave birth all three times. Plus my midwife and nurses. I loved having all the people around. BIrth is a celebration and I wanted it to feel like a party. Everyone left about 10 minutes after they were born so I could bond with the baby. I really feel like having everyone in the room helped me feel more relaxed too because they would talk and laugh about things going on in their lives. Great distraction from the pain.

Mrs.Stratton |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

I would want my husband and my mom. My husband does not do well with the sight of blood, so having my mom there as second in command is very important since he'll be passed out!

wags2008 |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

Just my husband. He was the only one present for our daughters birth and he will be the only one for baby #2- the gender will be a surprise for us. In fact, I liked as few visitors in the hospital as possible. I loved having the first day to really bond and get to know my daughter. When I was home I was totally ready to show her off to family and friends and to be able to give my four legged kids some much needed attention. Same will go with this baby.

lostforwords |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

I am planning on just my husband but i might allow my mom if i feel i really need her but ive made it clear to close family that they will be welcome at the hospital after delivery that me and the baby need to be cleaned up and all pritty before i have a biggilion people looking and taking picks plus its those first minuted when you have the chance to hold the baby youve waited so long for its a mommy daddy kind of moment

jesscookemonster |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

I've decided that my boyfriend, the father, and my step-mother will be in the delivery room. She has no children of her own and can't have any so I thought being a part of my experience would really touch her and make her really feel like a part of the family. After delivery I plan on having family only visit me and the baby in the hospital. Friends can wait until I'm settled back at home.

YoungandHappyMom |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

Is it weird to want to have your mom in law along with my mother in the room with us?

LadyLorraine |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

How do I tell my mother-in-law that Im alowing my mom in but not her?

neyermommy85 |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

I completely understand. I feel the same way. Just say, that you don't feel comfortable with her seeing you like that, and that it'd be easier on you to have your mom there. If she doesn't understand then she's being unreasonable.

ditto50997 |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

I'm having my FI and my grandma. She's the one I'm closest to, and I think she will be the biggest comfort to me other than my partner. I am debating about letting MIL in - I think she'd be great at telling doctors to do what I want! But she drives me crazy a lot of the time, so it definitely needs some more thought.

mrsjaminda |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

With my first it was just my hubby. With my twins it was an unplanned c-section so I didn't have much choice with that one. This time, I plan to have my hubby, my sister and my mom. My mom had to have 4 c-sections so she's never experienced a vaginal birth on a personal level. Now that I know what to expect and how to "handle" things, I think I'm finally comfortable having mom and sis in the room too. I can't wait! I definitely don't want dad or in-laws or brothers in the room though! :)

utchic99 |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

This is my first, and it will just be my husband and I for the delivery. This is our moment to celebrate being a mother and father together. As for labor? I've considered inviting my sister-in-law or best friend, but only because they've been there and are people who know how to calm be down. I have other random people asking to be invited to the show! As nice as I am, this is my moment and I am keeping firm on what I WANT. After all, my days of being "that pregnant lady" are almost gone ... gotta milk it for what it's worth, right? lol.

bcpickles |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

I don't care as long as I have my husband and my mother. Everyone can be in there for all I care! (I am having a homebirth so there are no rules as how many can be in there!) But I reserve the right to kick anyone and everyone out if it comes down to it. (: So far the plan is my husband, mother, dad, best friend/god-mother, MIL (if she can make it in time) and of course the midwife(ves).

SarahWaggy |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

I definitely want my husband there. My mom is there by default because she is my mom, but if she starts getting all weird and mouthy, then she is out! lol. I am also going to have my husband sister there, because she is my best friend, and this will be her first neice/nephew that she is actively involved in (my husbands first sons mother kinda disappeared when she got pregnant, so no one was involved). I want my lil sister to be there also, she is awesome, and I think she will keep me laughing and distracted.

missmarisa86 |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

For my Daughter it was just me and my husband. This time around it is going to be him and my mom. Only to be fair I said his mom could be in there but I really feel bad bc I dont want her in there. Durning both pregnancies she hasnt really been involved at all. But Its only fair. So Ive kept my mouth closed. It has not been easy but also she hasnt said she is gunna stay in there either so Im just gunna wait to see!

klt0506 |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

I am having my fiance, my sister ( I was in with delivery for my 2 nephews with her, and she was in for my daughter), and I think my 12 year old daughter, but not sure if I want her at the head or foot of the bed, I have heard alot it will be good birth control for her to see exactly how its done. She is very mature, and very involved in my pregnancy, what does everybody think??

travrebs |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

My boyfriend wants it to be just me and him, but my friend is a doula and I thought it would be nice to have her there too. My hospital has the two person limit rule. I don't really want moms or dads because gross things happen and no one needs to see that.

blansaw |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

My husband will be there and we've hired a doula. I'm debating on whether or not my close friend/photographer will be allowed to stay for the actual delivery or not but she'll be there for the labor as long as hubby and I are comfortable. My mom specifically has been banned b/c she brings chaos with her wherever she goes. We're trying for 100% natural so I don't really need her chaotic nature there.

sthomas1222 |

who-should-I-have-in-the-delivery-room-with-me

I'm going thru this now. My hubby is the obvious choice & my Mom but my sister is driving 3hrs to be here for her 1st & only niece's delivery. My hubby only wants us 3 but I feel like not allowing my sister in would result in hurt feelings &/or anger. I for one dont mind them all being there but I don't want any1 feeling slighted and I really don't want to tick the spouse off on such a joyous occasion. *sigh* What to do, what to do! Baby Sierra's due any day now, btw :-)

SierrasMom11 |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

mother and babydaddy

Nini96 |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

Daddy (Danny) & Nonnie

danfionar |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

MY MOTHER BECAUSE MY HUSBAND HAS A TRADITION WHERE MEN WAIT OUTSIDE THE DELIVERY ROOM.

mutai27 |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

I'm having my husband and best friend (who is also the baby's godmother) present for the birth, along with my cnm and whatever nurse she chooses. During labor (early labor) I might have my parents and in-laws pop in as a welcome distraction but once things get underway, out they go until I've had an hour with my husband and baby (with best friend snapping photos and holding her new goddaughter. Then after I've gotten a shower and a nice new nightgown on, they can come in and coo over her.

ArcheressR |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

I had my Mom, my Husband and I also had my sister-in-law in the room to be my paparazzi to take pictures for me so I could see the whole birth and all the first baby pictures that I was unable to take. She was there for the births of both of my boys!! Best decision ever! I have pictures that are priceless!! I can't wait for the birth of my third baby and to get to ask her again to take pictures for me! She was honored to do it!! Birth of a baby is so magical I wanted to capture the moment forever!!

MickeyMMM |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

I want my husband, of course. And my twin sister, who already has a 2 year old. However there's a good chance she won't be up for it. I found out I was pregnant the same day she told me she was. She's due to give birth about 3 weeks before me, so she might be preoccupied with the new baby. In that case, I'll want my mom, even though she can stress me out sometimes.

drhjan2011 |

Q&A: Who should I invite to be in the delivery room with me?

I, of course, want my husband to be in the room. But I also want my mom. She has done this three times so I figured she could comfort me incase I needed it. I couldn't imagine her not there.

kvieau87 |