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Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

Life is so hectic now- some days I just want to shriek. How can I blow off steam without flipping out?

Re: Life is so hectic now- some days I just want to shriek. How can I blow off steam without flipping out?

The Bump Expert

Shrieking works, but it might scare baby... or worse, wake him up. Two tried and true tactics for taking off the edge: Venting to friends (or other new moms), and getting some exercise. Find mom-to-mom support on online message boards (like ours!) or by joining a mommy group in your area. (Find one on lila guide.) And exercise doesn’t have to mean a trip to the gym and a total body workout. A brisk walk around the block can work wonders for your nerves.

More strategies: Take a few minutes every day (even five will help) for yourself. Don’t use every minute that baby naps to do chores or work. Instead, have a chat with a friend, grab a long, hot shower, or do a few yoga poses. And try to build some overall organization into your routine. Knowing what's on your plate will help you feel more capable of accomplishing it without freaking out.

Paula Kashtan | May 08 , 2009 11:25 AM

re: Q: Staying sane?

Exercise helped me a lot, but if you don't have time to do that you can take a mini vacation by taking a few deep breaths and think of something very peaceful - at worst it will get you through the next couple of hours.

kpropes | June 27 , 2008 2:33 PM

re: Q: Staying sane?

It's hard to do anything when the baby is sleeping since I'm afraid to leave her side.

LauraQS | January 12 , 2009 12:18 AM

re: Q: Staying sane?

My sanity saver was a great baby carrier. I used a pouch sling from day 1 and also the Moby Wrap for those long nights, and they saved my life. I was actually able to get some other things done but still feel that I was giving my baby what he needed. I now help other mamas find the perfect baby carrier to suit their needs!

SlingLady | April 20 , 2009 12:24 PM

re: Q: Staying sane?

Taking advantage of family/friends close by helps with the stress level even if it's just for a couple of hours those can be valuable in keeping sane.

trixiedine | June 25 , 2009 8:40 AM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

We recently started this routine from the book Babywise and our lives don't seem hectic anymore - best thing ever! We now know what the day is going to be like and our new son (6 weeks) is happier when awake and not dependent on us to fall asleep - plus he sleeps longer through the night.

Dodgeball Mama | August 04 , 2009 5:22 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

going for a walk is easy and you can take your bundle with you. showers work wonders, as does venting to friends. if your breastfeeding leave two bottles and your bundle with a family member or sitter and you and your lover or mabey a best friend go out for the evening. youll feel better and be able to better care for the bundle.

sunrocklove | October 23 , 2009 12:00 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

I joined a volleyball league on Tuesday nights to let go of my frustration. That has helped a lot to relieve stress and calm down after a long day of taking care of my 4 month old. I also take a long hot shower during his nap time to relax. Baby monitors are amazing...

gajohnson | November 09 , 2009 2:00 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

I think the Bunp Expert is so correct! After my second was born I quit work and the experience was so different from my first child. We were at home all the time, my 4 year old was going crazy and I had a newborn to take care of as well. I thought I would go insane... Then I found a Stroller Strides class in the area and started going religiously. It is truly a good workout, I lost the baby weight AND the other moms pulled me through the new mommy insanity. Now we are all friends and our babies are friends too! I definitely suggest finding a Stroller Strides in your area!

misslaneyr | December 05 , 2009 9:09 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

What I found really helps me is screaming, really. As a 12 year old I could scrteam very loud and it really helps me when I feel overwhelmed is I give my baby to my husband drive to the beach and stand on the sand and just scream. Sometime exercising helpps to.

Alex2097 | December 15 , 2009 6:50 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

I also follow the Babywise routine and swear by it. My little one (20 weeks) sleeps great and through the night and is pretty happy and content when he is awake. I still feel stressed out from time to time but its usually not because of an unhappy baby.

garvey | January 11 , 2010 2:40 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

We attended RIE parent/infant classes with Janet Lansbury and learned that babies can and should ENTERTAIN THEMSELVES if we let them. I am so grateful that I promote Janet's philosophy and parenting blog whenever I can. No 'tips and tricks' here, just practical, supportive advice based on years of training and observing thousands of infants. Parenthood can be a lot easier than most people make it. Janet's site doesn't sell anything and can be found at: Http://bit.ly/6zr9RO. Then come back to TheBump and share your discoveries!

McDume | March 10 , 2010 1:46 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

My MIL told me to trow ice (outside) & rip up phone books. I LOVE it and it works wonders when I feel like I'm going to freak out & break down. (Sometimes I just go outside and scream too, or in the bathroom. You HAVE to vent & sometime it needs to be more than talking & crying all the time. :)

nschwettman | June 03 , 2010 10:21 AM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

I know they say don't nap but I find that getting enough sleep makes everything easier. However, when I feel like I need to let off steam, I call my MIL (who lives about a mile away) to come up and play with baby. She has "Nana Magic" and the LO goes right to sleep in her arms while I have a grown up to talk to. As baby grows older, it does get easier- they learn to entertain themselves more and you have breathing room. Also, I find my monthly massage helps considerably! Nothing beats a "me time massage".

loveshockey53 | June 04 , 2010 10:32 AM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

Having two of my own, one 3yrs and the other 4 months, I know that feeling you are talking about. You have to have YOU time. Find something you like to do and do it at least once a week. I found that even the littlest thing like baking by myself gives me time to collect my thoughts. You can't forget about you! Get a massage, go shopping alone (grocery, clothes, etc.) Whatever you like to do, find a way to do it and I guarantee you will feel much better. Mommies need their time too, don't feel bad about leaving your little one, the less stressed you are the less stressed they are =) Good Luck!

DavisM522 | June 22 , 2010 2:12 AM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

You have to find something that works for you. Everyone is different but we all need some ME time.....whether it's excercising, venting, taking a class or writing. For me it was writing.....that is what calms me and I enjoy it. I often write letters to my daughter and put them in a hope chest to give her when she is older....you never know..what if something happens to me.? I want her to know how much I love her! But whatever you decide to do.....do it! Make sure you take care of YOU too because you can't be a good mom if you aren't healthy. If you're feeling extremely stressed and angry count to 10 and take slow deep breaths as you do. Never let yourself lose control! You can always calm yourself by counting to 10 and breathing in and out very slow and deep all the while saying to yourself it's not worth it....it's not worth it calm down, calm down! Works for me. :-) Good Luck!

rhutchin | August 17 , 2010 7:37 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

I already have a 1 1/2 year old and next baby is due in November. I am so overwhelmed! I just stopped working last month, my husband is back in school and working full-time. I'm helping him with school work, chasing a toddler while 7 months pregnant, and trying to keep the house clean...I think i'm gonna pass out and someone will find my body limp in a corner. Does it get easier after you have the baby?

boobgenie409 | September 07 , 2010 11:02 AM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

I can't say too much works for me >.> with my first one I didn't have a problem, I was staying with my parents because my relationship with her father didn't work out so the cleaning was just my little space with her which was small and not bad, then I was working full time so I had time away. This time around is far different, now I have an older child and I'm married with our own house with financial troubles though so that weighs in, plus the new one is inconsistent in his own sleeping habits even though I try to get him on schedule so that takes a toll, my husband doesn't like to help cleaning and he isn't even working at the moment so that takes it toll, so that puts all the chores on me plus breastfeeding and well he can't for the life of him figure out how to change a diaper it seems and when he does he just makes more laundry for me he puts the diaper on wrong most of the time and LO just pees out the side. I tried walking, napping, reading, finding a hobby, medicine and everything else this time around and so far... nada. Staying sane is hard in this household.

sarisa82 | September 29 , 2010 11:11 AM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

I have a two week old and I feel like I am going to lose my mind.. what is the babywise technique? I've seen it mentioned several times here...

erinbebrin | October 08 , 2010 9:28 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

When my husband comes home from work I give him the baby for about an hour and go soak in the hot bathtub and read gossip magazines.

mermaidvm | October 30 , 2010 6:30 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

PRAYER is probably the best stress reliever. Also utilizing the grandparents, let them watch the baby while you get some rest or have a date night with baby. EXERCISE definitely works, especially lifting weights, if you have the extra money, hire a trainer, they'll push you.

Ladyv62580 | November 03 , 2010 11:34 AM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

I have an 11 week old and feel like I'm going to lose my mind too. Everytime I had him to my husband, he puts him in his swing. So my LO starts crying bc he just wants to be held. My family members live over 2000 miles away and we have no friends up here. I would love to be able to just take a shower until the hot water ran out or just take the trash out would be great!

KailaF10 | December 03 , 2010 2:35 AM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

USE YOUR SPOUSE/FAMILY/FRIEND. My husband doesnt go to work til 3 PM so every morning I give the baby to my husband for an hour and take a hot shower, and take care of myself. It is a great way to start the day. When he is home we also alternate baby care like everyother diaper change. I really feel for any single moms, I don't know how I could do it with out my husband.

deadladyinred | December 28 , 2010 4:59 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

i love when i can take a hot shower, sometimes ill put my 11 week old in his carseat and bring him in the bathroom with me while i shower and sometimes the sound of the shower puts him to sleep. I feel like im gonna go crazy a lot of times too, it was more marnagable the first month but my husband got deployed when my baby was 6 weeks so since then its just been me, i moved back in with my mom for the deployment but she works a lot at nights too, i think it would be a lot easier if my husband was there for make him take a turn at night sometimes. somenights i have to go smoke a cig after i finally get him back to sleep. that kinda helps but i shouldnt have started smoking again but man this is stressful! lol but mainly a shower helps (more so when i can take one where i dont have to jump out and pop the paci back in his mouth 5 times lol)

karen2475 | January 09 , 2011 10:40 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

make sure you still get you time every now and again go take a bubble bath read a book whatever you like to do

maysonsmama2009 | January 11 , 2011 3:22 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

take some ME time! i go for a long run and it really blows off the steam.

MamiWami | February 25 , 2011 1:59 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

Take a deep breath and do something for yourself...a massage, a favorite show, and then get back into mom -mode. And while you are treating yourself, no worrying!!

blatantmisses | February 25 , 2011 10:53 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

The best advice I got was to take the first 15 mins of your child's nap to do something for yourself. Its easy to start doing all the other things you need to get done, laundry, make dinner ect. By the time you get all that done your baby will be awake and you haven't even sat down yet! So take just the first 15 mins to do anything just for you, read a magaizine take a bubble bath. Its amazing what just the small amount of time of relaxing can do for the rest of your day!

poppit8131 | April 27 , 2011 11:06 AM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

I have walked around the block and do workouts.. But its " Extremely" hard to do most of the time when you only get "LITTLE" sleep.. My son is 28 weeks and he is waking up screaming several times a nite!

taryndaigle1 | May 20 , 2011 12:29 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

I need some suggestions I have an * month old baby girl this is my third child and my husbands first. I breastfeed and he thinks thats the answer to everything for our baby especially when she's fussy. I don't really get anytime to myself maybe showers or my mo takes her for a few hours if I have to take the other kids somewhere or have and errand to do.He says he wouldn't mind giving me a break but when she cries he still calls me and says I was trying to keep her calm sometimes he does good with her but im usually not far away or he'll bring her into the room where im at.Help I'm about to go crazy also he feels like I should just wait to go out and I'm not patient I haven't been out with my friends without kids in a 1 1/2 yrs

kcjheart@hotmail.com | July 07 , 2011 4:16 AM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

every sunday i leave for the day and spend the whole day i please. i don't worry about the kids at all. they are always in good hands. its my mini vacation. this way i look forward to sunday. or during the week i will leave early and just sit at mcdonalds and have my breakfast or lunch before i head home. i take breaks and its just my hubby, and my two kids and me. so i rely on him a lot to help me out and to keep me sane.

nettatc | August 01 , 2011 11:39 AM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

Having a meltdown once in a while is probably good for you! But in reality - give up all the ideas of the "perfect mother". It's total BS. If you miss a load of laundry or leave dishes in the sink for an extra day or two or don't vacume for a month - it's okay. You are NOT Donna Reed or Martha Stewart. Just breathe, nap or do something nice for yourself when baby sleeps, and take nice long walks with baby or leave baby at home with someone.

Cheriemimi | August 05 , 2011 10:23 AM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

I had a pretty bad day on Thursday which was 2 days ago. I didn't go home early everyone else did and my fiance didn't do what I asked him so I went for a walk that kinda helped and my friend helped me :)

iloveu4ever | September 10 , 2011 2:27 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

Vent! Venting to other moms that have been there or is going through the same thing is very theraputic!

kelly005purple | September 27 , 2011 12:26 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

Hot baths!!! And a daily predictable schedule so you know exactly when you'll get a break.

rayas | October 02 , 2011 11:29 AM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

I leave a couple of bottles with Dad and go out with a girlfriend. It helps a lot just a couple of hours here and there helps everyone.

nicolemesenburg | October 25 , 2011 12:56 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

I am a single mom of 4 and its very tough for me, so in order for me to not flip out, I put on some of my favorite music and color, write in a journal and/or read! It works for me and sometimes I step outside and get some fresh air and stretch.

sonyabunya | December 20 , 2011 8:31 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

It takes a village! Don't try to do it alone, help from family and friends even for a few minutes or hours really makes things much easier. It also doesn't hurt to get them used to different people in their lives so when you do need to leave them it will be easier on both of you.

jeniley | January 18 , 2012 1:39 AM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

Get Help from family! It's much easier and you will be able to squeeze a little time for yourself in! :) If you don't have family around go for a walk! Walks are soothing and you can take the new bundle with you! Your partner can come along if he wants!! :) Hope this helped!!! :)

MeadowsMommy02 | January 18 , 2012 8:54 PM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

Being a mum is not an easy task but there are some things that you should about the relationship between mothers and their baby. I've recently attended to one of those master in nursing programs and I learned that it is very important both for the baby but also for the mother to have a strong attachment relationship in order to develop well. The most important attachment figure is the one of his mother. We should be very careful with our babies and when they are crying we are the only persons that can calm them easily. This is because they are feeling our heart beat and our skin smell which is unique for every person and this makes him feel safe. It is not necessary to spend all the day with your baby but it is enough to leave him one of your scarfs and every time he cries he will calm when he is smelling it as he thinks that his mother is there.

CarolinaJohanson | January 21 , 2012 12:28 AM

Q&A: Staying sane tips for new moms?

We really need to let the organism self-organize himself and not abuse its resilience with weight loss strict diets. I have learned from my own experience that it`s more advisable to take Tri Luma than any other medicine or treatment in order to let the nature take its course and help me regain my health and my shape with the aid of herbal resources.

sensicalanne | January 26 , 2012 3:29 AM

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