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Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

Now that we have a baby, I feel like my husband and I never have time to spend together; and when we do, it's always about the baby! How can we keep things alive between the two of us?

Re: Now that we have a baby, I feel like my husband and I never have time to spend together; and when we do, it's always about the baby! How can we keep things alive between the two of us?

The Bump Expert

Find alone time (both together and apart) is very difficult for new parents. You are dealing with a very new physical and emotional experience. It is very important, however, for you both to remain a strong and intact unit for both your child and your relationship. If possible, find a regular way to have alone time. Perhaps have Mom come every other week or hire a babysitter with whom you feel comfortable. Sometimes setting the time aside beforehand is easier than trying last-minute to secure childcare and finding someplace to go.

Remember what you both liked to do before you had the baby and continue those pursuits as much as possible. If you are at dinner and feel that the baby is taking up too much of the conversation implement a "no baby talk zone" for an hour. Remember the ways you connected earlier in your relationship and try to strengthen that connection viewing each other not only as "Mom and Dad," but as the people you were prior to giving birth. Do things that create an experience for the two of you, such as taking a class together, reading the same book, or even just watching a show together each week. Most important, talk to each other and verbalize what you both need. Being open and honest with each other will only strengthen your bond as partners, but also as parents.

Tammy Gold

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

COMMUNICATION is so key. there can be so many misconceptions and assumptions made at this time. we all want love and affection, but the timing isnt always right, one of you is tired, the baby needs something...no need to add hurt feelings and assumptions to the list. make a date night once or twice a month. make sure neither of you feel pressured or hurried or its not worth it. mabey take a shower together while the baby is sleeping!

sunrocklove |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

One of the most important thing that My husband and I do is put our baby down the same time every night. We try between 6 and 7 every night. It makes it so we have some time for the two of us each night, like we did pre baby. Some people might say 6 or 7 is early when you work full time... but even if you have to make it 7 - 8. It is wonderful to sit on the couch together looking at the baby monitor knowing we get to relax for at least 3 hrs. :)

rogiev30@aol.com |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

My fiance and I put our baby to bed every night at 9. Its a great way to spend some time together before we go to bed on the weekends. He works nights so when he gets home in the morning Izzy usually takes a little nap in the morning too, so we get a couple hours during the week for just the two of us!

rachandtroy |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

The best thing we did is ask my parents to move in with me. All i had to say was "could u take care of the baby for me while we go grocery shopping, eat out, ect.?", DS's Grandma never says no!!! Even an hour at a grocery store with your husband and the drive listening to our favorite songs, talking about work, parents, family, anything but baby made it seem like when we were first dating.

Junesong_109 |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

Just remember, nowadays "Hey, the baby is asleep." *wink wink* counts as foreplay. It is important to remind each other that even though this tiny little person seems to take up every minute of your time, you are husband and wife first, and mommy and daddy second. You both need to make each other feel loved.

angelofmusic219 |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

My husband and I just had baby number two and he just got back from deployment so I know what you mean when you don't get alone time. Especially when its well needed. You have to find alone time. Find someone to take baby while you go to dinner or a movie. We know you love baby, but try to focus the conversation on something else other than baby. We actually had a falling out because by the time the kids went to bed I was so tired and didn't feel like staying up late knowing I had to get up the next morning and start another day. Well once I realized what was on the line, we made a routine we would do daily. we bathe the kids together and put them to bed together at a decent early hour (they are young so it works out pretty well right now) and then we take an hour or a few hours to just us. It is important to remind each other that you care and you haven't forgotten about them. little gestures or romantic notes are always fun to give and receive! Good Luck!

DavisM522 |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

I gave birth 7 weeks ago and went to the doc to ask about family planning methods. I'm so not ready to get pregnant again (besides i was told its too risky esp for c-section moms like me) and I want to have some form of prevention. Doc advised injectables since I'm nursing but my hubby wants us to go the natural way which is the rythm method. I'm ok with that but my period is still irregular and I don't want to risk getting preggy again. I'm feeling a bit bad bec he says he'll take care of it and doesn't want to continue the discussion. Don't I have the right to choose since it's my body? I know he said he's concerned bec he read somewhere injectables causes breast cancer but it's a small risk compared to me getting preggy right away and possible lose my life. I feel like he's doing this bec he doesn't really care if we make love again. He says there's oral sex but I don't think I'll enjoy that as much. How do I make him see my point? Or at least compromise until my period is regular and we can do the calendar thing?

cleo107 |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

This is number 2 for me as well, and well, finding alone time is very hard. Especially with the chore load, and financial concerns at the moment right at holiday time. Lately in order to have stress free no baby zone we have been putting the older one down earlier (830ish instead of 930ish) and we've been trying to get the new one to sleep around 830ish as well, then we both hop in the shower together so that way we can save time and water :P since we have one of those double shower heads, and then we come out and catch up on some old tv shows we've been missing such as Eureka NCIS or Hell's Kitchen. Gives us some "quiet" time but I still feel disconnected from my husband and I sadly felt the same way about my first ones father ... him and I didn't work out because of that I wasn't married at the time this go around I am but sometimes I still feel very disconnected, I have this entire pregnancy and now since LO has come I still feel that way.

sarisa82 |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

Things between my husband and i are falling apart since I had my baby boy 11 weeks ago. I'm not in the mood for sex bc it doesn't feel good. So he's always trying to get me to play with him or give him oral and I can't do it. I feel like thats all he wants and like our marriage is falling apart. My baby boy sleeps every 2-3 hours and my husband works nights so we might get an hour to ourselves.

KailaF10 |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

take advantages of the times when baby is sleeping. between 1 month thru about 4 months they sleep longer during the day so that gives you some time to talk or whatever. i went babys schdedule and we did have those interuppted nites. but its all worth it. good luck

nettatc |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

have a date night and make baby talk off limits. do something that reminds you of life before kids and it will help you both remember that you had a life before your children. don't beat yourself up about it though. your kids are part of your life together now, so it's only normal you would talk about them!

MamiWami |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

I know how you feel because it was very hard to have a relationship with my sig. other after baby too. We tried watching a funy movie together at night after our little one was sleeping and we gave each other MUCH needed massages. It was nice and we got to talk a little bit. We also go to walks in the nice weather and our daughter loves the fresh air.

Nelsons2010 |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

There are three messages that are important to remember: 1)Small Things Often...a kiss, a neck massage, doing an errand, leaving a note; 2)What You Choose to Do and Say Every Day Matters...touch or hold your partner's hand when you express what you want or need...look at a picture of your falling-in-love days and tell each other why you felt so special, have code words for special times you'll share together, take a calming breath before you say something you'll regret and see if you can find a more loving way to say it; 3) Respect always and repair often...everyday find (even just minutes) time to hold each other and share one positive thing about each other or about what partner has done for you. Too, remember that there are many ways to be intimate...Daily affection solidifies the connection!

happyheartsqueen |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

My husband and I are very strict about keeping a date night! Even in the beginning when my boys were 3 or 4 weeks we would leave them with grandma, even if it was just an hour or two. When they get older, we strictly enforce bed time!

nadams6 |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

People who have a family and a child might find it very difficult at first, but they should be proud and feel lucky. Do you know how many singles Washington DC are there? Try and guess:))

JuniorDragonLady |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

At first is very hard to cope, but very soon you and your husband will get used to this new routine. I found my love using a couger dating site and now we have a lovely baby girl. The first four weeks were a nightmare, but we came to love this new life, the life of a parent.

negruvoda |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

i giving birth last june 14,2012 then we have sex with my partner last july 7,2012 it is safe ?

hsgds |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

I talk to ,y husband, but he does not respond to me. It is soooo frustrating. He literally ignores me!

yarberj116 |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

After having a baby my relationship with my husband got very bad. Now we barely talk and he is even searching for adult entertainment on the Internet.

deanjohnson |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

I think a marriage is most at risk when the children are very young. If you can just pull through and tell yourself that this is the hardest time the two of you will most likely ever face together and that you are not alone, then I think it makes the darkest times a little easier. If you can hold on, then your relationship will be that much stronger in the long run.

nikkibs |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

After having our baby, my relationship whit my wife got very bad. We were barely talking to each other but after a while we discovered that communication was the key.

deanjohnson |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

Communication is the key to any "problem" that may come about. My husband and I always knew that we needed to talk about the problem to get it solved, so we never really had problems with frustration or miscommunication. We would take turns having time to ourselves, and we had our time together depending on the baby's schedule and of course, the grandparents are always taking him to their houses.

victoriaromero11 |

relationship-with-my-husband-after-baby

Hi we passed 3 year of married and I had a kid of 2 year. I have nO physical relation with my husband since I was pregnant. My husband also not interest to talk with me and not interested in me. Even we both don't talk and spend time or outing from my first month onwards since now. I think very soon this marriage will over. But the true thIng is we both don't argue don't fight evn not talkng each other. I dnt knw wht happend?

nitika123 |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

After having our child, our relationship between me and my wife got cold. My husband started to surf on adult websites where Everything is enjoyable.

deanjohnson |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

Marriage, especially with children, is the hardest thing in the world. I really don't think there is anything harder, and so many moms corroborate this. One reason that it's harder than parenthood is because being a spouse doesn't have to be, whereas being a parent is forever.

nikkibs |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

You need to actually stop thinking about the baby when the 2 of you are alone. It won´t be easy, but you did have a life before the baby arrive.

Uberoom12 |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

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Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

I would recommend the same type of couple approaching as those from professional dating service DC at PremierMatchmaking.com do. Try to follow their tips and tricks to get closer to your husband. If you do not do it now.. you won't see the worst coming. Good luck.

PurpleHope |

Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

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Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

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Q&A: Relationship with my husband after baby?

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