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Q&A: No libido after giving birth?

I have basically no interest in sex right now. This is not good at all since my DH has alot of interest in it! I do try to go along with it, but it ends up being really unenjoyable for me because I'm thinking about DS, what I have to do the next day, work,the chores that didn't get done, etc, etc. Any words of wisdom to get past this slump?

Re: I have basically no interest in sex right now. This is not good at all since my DH has alot of interest in it! I do try to go along with it, but it ends up being really unenjoyable for me because I'm thinking about DS, what I have to do the next day, work,the chores that didn't get done, etc, etc. Any words of wisdom to get past this slump?

The Bump Expert

You describe perfectly what many new moms, and some newdads, experience. They've been so overwhelmed with " baby chores" during the day that their minds simply can't focus.

First off, I'd like you to ask your health-care professional about postpartum depression because symptoms in mild cases can be a lack of focus and lossof sex drive. Next, if your mind is going to wander, let it wander to a fantastic fantasy that turns you on. You can then give a little delicious detail about it to your husband. By discussing a highly erotic fantasy storyline, you may find you can relax back into the moment.

Another thing you can do is ask someone you trust to babysit, to simply give the two of you some quality time on your own. Don't talk about baby things, but instead about the things you two enjoy. The little break doesn't have to be for having sex; use it to go for a walk or to watch a romantic DVD together. Whatever you do, don't hide this from your husband. Let him know how much you love him but that you are a bit mentally or emotionally overwhelmed by all the changes a baby brings.

Dr. Pam Spurr

Q&A: No libido after giving birth?

Your baby wouldn't be here without the love and commitment of your partner. Share your feelings and truths about what your are really thinking about. Your partner wants you to enjoy yourself and in turn you will maintain the connection that brought you your baby! Have your partner give you a long non-sexual massage, or take a bath, an intimate walk, talk about your fondest memories BEFORE baby to help you relax. And remember the laundry, dishes, e-mail will be there in an hour...

Little Mama PA |

Q&A: No libido after giving birth?

I was that way at first. All I wanted to do was take care of my new baby and I couldn't let him out of my sight for a minute! now that LO is almost 5 months old I found that my DH is the one that is not as interested. I read that a mans testosterone will drop when they take care of a baby so I guess we both get some crazy hormone changes, lol. What matters is just getting to spend some time together. We enjoy reading humorous books to each other and to baby or even just cooking dinner together is fun.

KarolynnS1153 |

Q&A: No libido after giving birth?

I've felt like this since my DD was born but now shes 20 months old & I still feel the same way. Idk if its me or if its my marriage. I can count on both hands how many times my DH & I have had sex since her my DD's birth. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do?

Emma Mommy10 |

Q&A: No libido after giving birth?

My DS is almost 5 months old and my DH and I still have not had sex. We have been under a lot of stress with my DH's job, so that makes things even worse. But it's the last thing on my mind and I talked with my DH about it and he sometimes is a little upset but he understands and mostly feels the same way I do.

penelopierose |

Q&A: No libido after giving birth?

DO you breastfeed? I know this may sound wacko to some but I find it helpful to fantasize about my DH to get my milk to let down when DS feeds (since he has a fit when I don't let down quick enough). Seems I tend to have a issue with the milk let-down. While your baby will stimulate you to release oxytocin by suckling, other things can do that too (like sex!!!!). ANYWAY, it seemed to really put me back in the mood and crave that time with my hubby. Again, I know this may sound wacko but it worked for me. I also take a lot of supplements to keep my minerals and energy up so I believe there's a lot of issues at work with no libido. Our hormones are so crazy, even from pregnancy to pregnancy. With my first DS I was like a nymphomaniac and DH was reeeeally freaked about my size and wouldn't come near me...he got used to it by the second pregnancy and for some reason sex was physically painful with the second and continued for several months after giving birth!!! I'm finally back to normal and once we are getting more sleep I look forward to how great our sex life will be once again! Hang in there, it will get better!

Doggie Doctor |

Q&A: No libido after giving birth?

I was the same when out little one was about 3 months old. I would get all teary-eyed because I so wanted to please my loving husband. What I did was some mental therapy on myself when my husband started to make sex advances. I would think about how sweet and wonderful he is to me and to baby. I focused on his kindness, and tried to think about the physical traits that I love about him. This helped me relax and enjoy our intimacy more. It is not completely easy, but it is doable and it helps. Good luck!

yblopez |

Q&A: No libido after giving birth?

I started sleeping in the nursery a few weeks before giving birth and now 3 months after my LO was born I'm still sleeping in the nursery! Our relationship is really on the rocks and I don't want to share the bed with him... snoring and overall grumpiness all guys have while they sleep... I do enjoy having my own bed but I know I need to move back into OUR bed. And don't get me started on how neither of us have any motivation or drive and overall lack of interest in sex or even intimacy!

punkersnickle |

Q&A: No libido after giving birth?

I think it's normal especially if you breastfeed. You feel that your body parts have 'other' functions now. I would say, build intimacy and closeness and relax. It will get better :)

JihanehSh |