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Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I love my job and always planned to go back to work after my baby was born. But now that he’s here, I am not sure I can do it.

Re: I love my job and always planned to go back to work after my baby was born. But now that he’s here, I am not sure I can do it.

The Bump Expert

It’s normal to feel conflicted, guilty, worried (okay, neurotic!) about leaving your infant in someone else’s care while you work. It’s also normal to change your mind -- after all, you made the decision to go back to work before you met, and fell head over heels for, your little one.

While the financial implications of working vs. staying home loom large, you also need to think about your marriage, your support network, your career path, and your own personality and needs. Does your partner want you to work, or stay home? Is he prepared to carry a bigger financial load? Will you chafe at a 1950s-esque division of labor? (Think hard about that one.) Do you have parents or other family members or friends nearby who can help you care for baby? If you stay home now, will you want to return to your career later?

It’s a lot to mull over, but it’s not an irreversible decision. Whether you return to work or stay home with your son, you can continue to monitor your feelings and your situation and make a change later if need be.

Paula Kashtan

re: Q: Back to Work Reluctance?

Personally, because of the situation that we are in, I made more so my husband stays at home while I go to work. It's working well and I know some families where the moms have stayed at home and gone back to work after the babies are old enough to go to school...it's up to you and your spouse.

imallheart |

re: Q: Back to work reluctance?

Does anyone know any good work-from-home opportunies that would be good for mothers who don't want to leave their children and go back to work?

skirrel88 |

re: Q: Back to work reluctance?

I'm from Singapore the standard of living is quite high here, so just my hubby working alone, is not enough to cover our house expenses, car and our baby boy necessities, like diapers, milk powder, mthly insurance instalment. I have no choice but to go back to work even though I love taking care of my baby boy.

ochklk |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

Going back to work has been tough. I can't concentrate on work at all. I am lucky to have a wonderful nanny and I can work from home 2 days a week. I would much rather be home with my baby but getting out of the house has its benefits as well. When I get home from work I enjoy him even more becuase I missed him all day. Having a good child care works wonders. I can't imagine putting him in day care. It worth every penny.

orti7483 |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

Returning to work after my first baby was much easier than my second. Now with having two, its twice as hard to juggle the balance between work and home. Being on social networking sites helps to vent to other moms.

reneesellers |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I think that the key to going back to work is to find a place or person that you love and trust to take care of your baby. My husband and I found a day care that we adore. They even run it as a bilingual program, so instead of calling it daycare- we call it "school". It's a lot easier to think of our 3 month old baby being in "school" and learning new things than just sitting at a daycare.

nightowl96 |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I have found that now, having two kids under the age of two, I have a hard time leaving them to go to work. Luckily I have been able to work part-time and have a wonderful Aunt that can watch my kids while I work. I feel that our kids are only these ages for a little while and that we need to enjoy them as much as we can before it passes us by. Whatever choice you make depends on you and your spouse, but try not to stress about it too much and make the time you spend with your kids count.

Stateler's |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I start work next week and what I worry about the most is missing milstones like first words and steps. Luckily my husband and I work opposite scheduals so LO is always with a parent. I think I might cry on my way to work the first day but I know she is in go hands.

deadladyinred |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I am dreading going back to work but I have to for financial reasons. I can't imagine not spending the day with my baby or missing some of his first milestones. I wish I could work from home but being a teacher that is not an option. I am even thinking about changing careers to something that will allow me to work from home. Any ideas?

pelli242 |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I was the daughter of two teachers and found that I never felt like I was missing out seeing them. We always had dinner together, holidays off, weekends and summers together. I have an education degree and do not teach but sure wish I did. The hours I work are irregular and I will not be home before 6:30 sometimes even8:30 pm and work weekends sometimes. I would love to have a teachers schedule. You might look into working for an online school. They are usually work from home.

els974 |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I went back to work this week and it was very hard. I am definitely having trouble concentrating because I'm constantly wondering what my little boy is up to at day care. I wish I could stay home with him but we don't have that option. Many people on here are talking about working from home. I actually do work from home as a software trainer. Despite being at home I cannot have my son here with me. I'm constantly on phone calls and training sessions and my clients would not be very happy if I had to interrupt the time they are paying for to take care of my baby. So anyone looking for work at home make sure the company/position actually allows you time to take care of your baby. Most at home jobs that I know of expect you to work normal work hours and be completely focused on your job.

KatieAXO |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

Hi, I work from home for a legitimate company who has been in business for over 25 years and it really works for me... www.GoGreenBHealthy.com

mom2onee |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

Plain and simple: I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK!!!!! I hate that I have to and, every day, I look at my little Wyatt and tear up because I know that the time is coming when I will have to drop him off at day care. I never thought that I would be the person who'd want to stay home (I have been really career-focused since college) but suddenly none of that matters anymore. All that I want to do is stay home...at least for a year. No one can love and care for my little guy like my husband and I can, but there is no alternative. Student loans have to be paid. Bills have to be paid. And all i have to say is "boo to that!" Hang in there, Mommies. We'll make it through somehow!

MommySchmale |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I don't have a choice. I am a single mom and my daughter is on my insurance. I do receive some support from her father, but he lives in a different city and the money that he does give us goes to her daycare. I am lucky that I have the help of my family, but there is no choice. I have to work.

variniasmommy11 |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I am not looking forward to going back to work as well but I don't have a choice, especially not in this economy. I'm actually appalled at how many people I know who seem rather insensitive about this. My own mother won't look after my daughter without constant back-handed criticism about how we run our lives; my mother-in-law won't care for my daughter even though she's retired, and even went as far as to tell me to schlepp her to work with me. What?! In a professional office environment? Have these moms forgotten what it's like after so many years? As if it's not frustrating enough for us already. Make sure you have a good support group if you do go back to work!

zazza |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I am going back to work next week after having taken an add'l 3 weeks off unpaid to be with my son. It tears me up inside at the thought of leaving him with the babysitter, especially since she is not supporting my decision to breastfeed him. I am actually looking into starting an at home daycare in a couple of months so I can have my baby at home with me and still have income. I was the same as another lady above... had no thought of wanting to stay home with this baby until he was born. He turned my whole life around! Suddenly my job doesnt matter, so at home child care it will be! :) So worth it!!!

klmrb1976 |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I have been fortunate enough to have a direct sales job with a great company. I have been doing it for 2 1/2 years now, so it is pretty well established. I am out of my home to do shows once or twice a week and able to bring my son with me--the women love having a tiny one around, at least while he is so little. I won't be bringing him still once he can be without nursing for several hours at a time--probably 2-3 more months. The thing about direct sales is that if it is a product of good quality that you really love and you follow the tried-and-true methods of direct selling (get away from your family and friends ASAP and find the people that really want your product) you WILL make money. It is not easy money, but it is there for the taking for whoever wants to work for it. The best part of it is that I don't have to leave my children to work for someone else!!!

Momto8 |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I think it's useful to ask about maternity leave condition on your pre employment test. That way you know for sure what you have to deal with. There is always a rough period, but it doesn't have to be that rough depending on your employer. I prefer knowing that so I when go back to work I won't have any surprises.

RichieRich1984 |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I actually worked very part time starting when my daughter was two weeks old. I would work 6 hours two days a week, and a hour or two here or there. It made that first day back full time easier on both myself, and my baby. Luckily where I work has a variety of shifts and schedules, and I work very early morning and am home by 1pm, which makes it helpful since she is only with a sitter 4 or five hours a day.

CarrieG88 |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

my baby is almost three months and i went back to work this week. its been reallu tough! i cry the first day and i feel sad everyday. i feel like im going to miss every milestone and sometimes im afraid she may not miss me or that she will love the nanny more than me... i know its really stupid but i wish i could saty home with her!!!

gianni05 |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

my baby will be 12 wks this wk as well. i have already done a few hrs of daycare and they are doing a great job. But I still teared up. I am sad when I leave him with anyone even my mother in law. He is so little that it makes me sad to let others take care of him. Millions of other moms leave their child with others why cant I? My biggest problem about staying at home is whether I will get bored later or if I stop working will I be able to get my job back if I want to go back. I think for me the best bet is to go part time, but not so sure I will get it. The one question I have is at 3 months old, do kids need social interaction. I want my kid to be able to go to anyone and not just me and I want him to interact with other kids. How old does your child have to be to achieve these skills? I have even considered a nanny but not so sure if that is any better than daycare. Leaving your child to anyone's care other than you is so tough. My friend told me not to worry about missing all the firsts, bc its not a FIRST till You (the mom) see's it. I love that. That has helped me realize that it may not be so bad going back to work. I really wanted to make sure Gianni05 realizes that. If anyone knows the answers to my questions, I would luv to hear it. good luck everyone in making your decision.

rubster6 |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I know that being one of those working moms can be difficult and sometimes frustrating but you have to look at the good part where you are an independent woman and you are struggling for what you want.

Markuan1 |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I have to go back to work next week and I am dreading it

chumarsh |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I like my job but when it comes to return there after a vacation I feel very bad. After I gave birth to the second child I totally forgot I have a job and I must return there, so when the day came I took my Silk Business Cards in the morning and went to the office. The first day was great despite the fact that I was thinking what Joe was doing back home with his nanny, after a period of time I understood that it`s useless to crush my brains like that, plus we hired the best caring nanny in the world.

miracraig |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

Ya.. you can back to work after your baby's 3 yrs. Its safe. I think work from home

venkat4gd |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I didn't go back, which was very difficult since I had a college degree which I paid for, myself. I was part of management at a company that really wanted me I stay. My husband and I weighed the options for our situation. I was making more money and had a more professional/advanced position within my company. We determined that we would adjust our lifestyle in order to accommodate this precious life. I for one didn't want someone else raising my child. With my work, I would probably get home 6-7 pm and basically only see my child at nights and on weekends when I'm not traveling. It's been an adjustment especially since he had horrible reflux and gas. First night he slept 6+ hours we were so happy... It was 13 months. I especially didn't want someone to care for my child before he could talk. I still may go back one day but for now in at home with my 2yr old and 2mo old. In out present culture i may be the minority by staying home. I don't judge others althought I have been judged as lazy and fortunate. Remember, I made more so we took more than a 50% income reduction and we changed our lifestyle. Not easy, but for us, it's what we feel is best for our family

Av8hermommy |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I STARTED WORKING FOR ORIGAMI OWL SO I CAN MAKE MONEY AND STAY HOME WITH MY CHILD WHO IS 3 MONTHS NOW. I MAKE GOOD MONEY IF I WORK AT IT. AND I STAY HOME WITH MY CHILD ALL WEEK AND BOOK PARTIES ON THE WEEKEND THEN MY HUSBAND GETS SOME TIME WITH OUR SON. CHECK IT OUT AT WWW.STEINERDESIGNS.ORIGAMIOWL.COM TOO SEE IF IT WOULD WORK FOR YOU

nettie2010 |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I think that every new mother has this problems. You have to take care of your future and your family`s but it`s important to stay with your child.

ioana06 |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

It`s never to easy for a young mother to leave her baby at home with a relative or a nanny and get back to work after many months of having taken care of the baby herself. There is this bonding between mother and child, a relationship so unique in affection intensity that no one can properly describe it. One should also think about exploring new study opportunities while staying at home, maybe consider the benefits of a career healthcare. There are plenty of interesting stuff to read about.

conquerer |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

You should try not to work too much because you will have no free time for yourself and your kid. I recently found a great job on dswdrivers.com and I have a lot of free time.

deanjohnson |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

Before going back to work you should earn an online degree, that way it will be much easier for u to reintegrate. The advantages of online degrees are many, including that you can study from home and taking care of your children in the same time.

deanjohnson |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

You shouldn't be nervous about going back to work, it's something normal. My wife works at Cohen Asset Mgmt and she was very good received when she returned to work.

deanjohnson |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

After you stayed home for a period of time it is normal to be nervous about getting back to work, I was a little afraid of this because a lot of things happened at my workplace, my boss retired and a lot of my colleagues quit. In the first day I met a couple of special ed employers and they helped me to adapt to the new conditions, the second day I went to work knowing that I can handle every task I was given.

amyabel68 |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

You are lucky, I don't love my job so I've decided to change it when the maternity leave is finished. I am a little concern because nowadays every time you change your job, the future employer will check you on the national background check list and I don't have a clean criminal record. I stole some clothes when I was young and stupid and this mistake is with me for life.

marta8080 |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

Many mothers are nervous about going back to work after maternity leave because they won't have so much time to spend with their kids. That is why they might consider changing their job. With a perfect resume I don't think that would be a problem.

deanjohnson |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

Instead of going back to work after maternity leave you should create your own company. That way you would be your own boss, your only concern would be how to expand your company.

deanjohnson |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

You shouldn't be nervous about that because sooner or later you must return to work. Anyway, my advise is that you should avoid working in night shift because you need to spend more time with your baby.

deanjohnson |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I'm also preparing to go back to work after maternity leave so this article came very handy for me. I'm thinking that if I perform better maybe I get promoted and I will have more time to spend with my baby.

deanjohnson |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

If you are nervous about going back to work after maternity leave, then you shouldn't be because it's something normal. You must have motivation and focus and everything will be alright.

deanjohnson |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

Going back to work after maternity leave can be really hard sometimes. My wife worked as a forensic pshychologist before she got pregnant and they barely got her back.

deanjohnson |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

It is very normal to be nervous before going back to work but you should continue to serve your community. It's nothing bad in being a working mom.

deanjohnson |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

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AnotherMichelle |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

It was hard for me to go back to work. Yea I do not like it but it has gotten a little easier.

Texasgrly86 |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I would lay awake at night crying, thinking about having to go back to work. Nervous about learning how to pump, worried about leaving my son in the hands of strangers at daycare, worried about my inability to sleep due to the stress of all the worrying. We realized a good compromise would be for me to go back part-time. The plan was to go back 3 days per week instead of 5, and that made me feel so much better. I'd still be bringing in some of an income, but not have to be away from him every day during the week. I was really comfortable with that option, more than being full time. But then the situation changed and I am not going back, at least for awhile. I'm thrilled. We'll really have to tighten our belt and I'm not sure how long we can afford to do it, but we decided it's the best thing for our little guy, so we're working on making it work.

berkanalynx |

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

My employer had promised that I could work from home twice a week after having the baby, but I found out during my leave (just a week ago) that I have to be in office full time. Now we are scrambling to find a full time nanny as the one we had lined up was only available part time. They told me this with only three weeks' notice! I'm so irritated! I know small companies have issues, but this was frustrating, and, not to mention that I'm taking it really hard. I thought I would be able to transition more easily with the two days a week working from home, but now I'm going straight back to five full days in office... ugh! I can't imagine being away from my baby that much while he's so little!

araeh08 |