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Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I love my job and always planned to go back to work after my baby was born. But now that he’s here, I am not sure I can do it.

Re: I love my job and always planned to go back to work after my baby was born. But now that he’s here, I am not sure I can do it.

The Bump Expert

It’s normal to feel conflicted, guilty, worried (okay, neurotic!) about leaving your infant in someone else’s care while you work. It’s also normal to change your mind -- after all, you made the decision to go back to work before you met, and fell head over heels for, your little one.

While the financial implications of working vs. staying home loom large, you also need to think about your marriage, your support network, your career path, and your own personality and needs. Does your partner want you to work, or stay home? Is he prepared to carry a bigger financial load? Will you chafe at a 1950s-esque division of labor? (Think hard about that one.) Do you have parents or other family members or friends nearby who can help you care for baby? If you stay home now, will you want to return to your career later?

It’s a lot to mull over, but it’s not an irreversible decision. Whether you return to work or stay home with your son, you can continue to monitor your feelings and your situation and make a change later if need be.

Paula Kashtan | May 07 , 2009 2:25 PM

re: Q: Back to Work Reluctance?

Personally, because of the situation that we are in, I made more so my husband stays at home while I go to work. It's working well and I know some families where the moms have stayed at home and gone back to work after the babies are old enough to go to school...it's up to you and your spouse.

imallheart | April 24 , 2008 1:18 PM

re: Q: Back to work reluctance?

Does anyone know any good work-from-home opportunies that would be good for mothers who don't want to leave their children and go back to work?

skirrel88 | June 25 , 2008 2:26 PM

re: Q: Back to work reluctance?

I'm from Singapore the standard of living is quite high here, so just my hubby working alone, is not enough to cover our house expenses, car and our baby boy necessities, like diapers, milk powder, mthly insurance instalment. I have no choice but to go back to work even though I love taking care of my baby boy.

ochklk | April 03 , 2009 4:09 AM

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

Going back to work has been tough. I can't concentrate on work at all. I am lucky to have a wonderful nanny and I can work from home 2 days a week. I would much rather be home with my baby but getting out of the house has its benefits as well. When I get home from work I enjoy him even more becuase I missed him all day. Having a good child care works wonders. I can't imagine putting him in day care. It worth every penny.

orti7483 | August 12 , 2009 10:26 AM

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

Returning to work after my first baby was much easier than my second. Now with having two, its twice as hard to juggle the balance between work and home. Being on social networking sites helps to vent to other moms.

reneesellers | July 28 , 2010 10:03 AM

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I think that the key to going back to work is to find a place or person that you love and trust to take care of your baby. My husband and I found a day care that we adore. They even run it as a bilingual program, so instead of calling it daycare- we call it "school". It's a lot easier to think of our 3 month old baby being in "school" and learning new things than just sitting at a daycare.

nightowl96 | September 02 , 2010 6:16 AM

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I have found that now, having two kids under the age of two, I have a hard time leaving them to go to work. Luckily I have been able to work part-time and have a wonderful Aunt that can watch my kids while I work. I feel that our kids are only these ages for a little while and that we need to enjoy them as much as we can before it passes us by. Whatever choice you make depends on you and your spouse, but try not to stress about it too much and make the time you spend with your kids count.

Stateler's | September 29 , 2010 12:06 PM

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I start work next week and what I worry about the most is missing milstones like first words and steps. Luckily my husband and I work opposite scheduals so LO is always with a parent. I think I might cry on my way to work the first day but I know she is in go hands.

deadladyinred | January 27 , 2011 6:38 PM

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I am dreading going back to work but I have to for financial reasons. I can't imagine not spending the day with my baby or missing some of his first milestones. I wish I could work from home but being a teacher that is not an option. I am even thinking about changing careers to something that will allow me to work from home. Any ideas?

pelli242 | February 11 , 2011 10:32 AM

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I was the daughter of two teachers and found that I never felt like I was missing out seeing them. We always had dinner together, holidays off, weekends and summers together. I have an education degree and do not teach but sure wish I did. The hours I work are irregular and I will not be home before 6:30 sometimes even8:30 pm and work weekends sometimes. I would love to have a teachers schedule. You might look into working for an online school. They are usually work from home.

els974 | March 15 , 2011 11:35 AM

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I went back to work this week and it was very hard. I am definitely having trouble concentrating because I'm constantly wondering what my little boy is up to at day care. I wish I could stay home with him but we don't have that option. Many people on here are talking about working from home. I actually do work from home as a software trainer. Despite being at home I cannot have my son here with me. I'm constantly on phone calls and training sessions and my clients would not be very happy if I had to interrupt the time they are paying for to take care of my baby. So anyone looking for work at home make sure the company/position actually allows you time to take care of your baby. Most at home jobs that I know of expect you to work normal work hours and be completely focused on your job.

KatieAXO | April 14 , 2011 12:39 PM

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

Hi, I work from home for a legitimate company who has been in business for over 25 years and it really works for me... www.GoGreenBHealthy.com

mom2onee | April 26 , 2011 12:21 PM

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

Plain and simple: I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK!!!!! I hate that I have to and, every day, I look at my little Wyatt and tear up because I know that the time is coming when I will have to drop him off at day care. I never thought that I would be the person who'd want to stay home (I have been really career-focused since college) but suddenly none of that matters anymore. All that I want to do is stay home...at least for a year. No one can love and care for my little guy like my husband and I can, but there is no alternative. Student loans have to be paid. Bills have to be paid. And all i have to say is "boo to that!" Hang in there, Mommies. We'll make it through somehow!

MommySchmale | May 24 , 2011 10:10 PM

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I don't have a choice. I am a single mom and my daughter is on my insurance. I do receive some support from her father, but he lives in a different city and the money that he does give us goes to her daycare. I am lucky that I have the help of my family, but there is no choice. I have to work.

variniasmommy11 | July 19 , 2011 12:31 PM

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I am not looking forward to going back to work as well but I don't have a choice, especially not in this economy. I'm actually appalled at how many people I know who seem rather insensitive about this. My own mother won't look after my daughter without constant back-handed criticism about how we run our lives; my mother-in-law won't care for my daughter even though she's retired, and even went as far as to tell me to schlepp her to work with me. What?! In a professional office environment? Have these moms forgotten what it's like after so many years? As if it's not frustrating enough for us already. Make sure you have a good support group if you do go back to work!

zazza | July 31 , 2011 2:07 PM

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I am going back to work next week after having taken an add'l 3 weeks off unpaid to be with my son. It tears me up inside at the thought of leaving him with the babysitter, especially since she is not supporting my decision to breastfeed him. I am actually looking into starting an at home daycare in a couple of months so I can have my baby at home with me and still have income. I was the same as another lady above... had no thought of wanting to stay home with this baby until he was born. He turned my whole life around! Suddenly my job doesnt matter, so at home child care it will be! :) So worth it!!!

klmrb1976 | August 08 , 2011 10:42 AM

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I have been fortunate enough to have a direct sales job with a great company. I have been doing it for 2 1/2 years now, so it is pretty well established. I am out of my home to do shows once or twice a week and able to bring my son with me--the women love having a tiny one around, at least while he is so little. I won't be bringing him still once he can be without nursing for several hours at a time--probably 2-3 more months. The thing about direct sales is that if it is a product of good quality that you really love and you follow the tried-and-true methods of direct selling (get away from your family and friends ASAP and find the people that really want your product) you WILL make money. It is not easy money, but it is there for the taking for whoever wants to work for it. The best part of it is that I don't have to leave my children to work for someone else!!!

Momto8 | December 12 , 2011 11:28 PM

Q&A: Nervous about going back to work?

I think it's useful to ask about maternity leave condition on your pre employment test. That way you know for sure what you have to deal with. There is always a rough period, but it doesn't have to be that rough depending on your employer. I prefer knowing that so I when go back to work I won't have any surprises.

RichieRich1984 | January 16 , 2012 2:26 AM

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