Okay, time to fess up, mamas: What crazy, salacious (and possibly embarrassing) pregnancy and parenting stories have you been keeping under wraps? Bumpies spilled theirs to us. Read on and then share your own -- we won’t judge (too much!). Photo: Thinkstock / The Bump
“I peed myself five times during my last pregnancy!” -- KelzinBoston*
“I sometimes will put my daughter in her ExerSaucer and give her a little mini karaoke concert. She bounces and smiles while I sing, and it makes me feel good about my singing ability.” -- MrsG NC
“I changed a diaper right before I left for work. When I got to my office, I kept smelling baby poop. It took me an hour and a half to realize that it was on my jacket -- and I have to wear a jacket at work. I tried to wash it off in the bathroom and ended up sitting in my office wearing a damp and poopy suit coat all day.” -- LCB34
“I accidentally walk outside with one of my boobs hanging out about once a week or so. My teenage neighbors are going to be sad when my son weans.” -- Ananke
“My daughter dropped her pacifier on the living room floor today. I picked it up and put it back in her mouth without washing it.” -- princessmah
“I never strap my daughter into her high chair at home. When we’re at restaurants, I do, but never at home. I push her tray in tight to keep her snug, and I'm never more than four feet away, so I figure why bother?” -- cali_girl92504
“On the way home from the grocery store, my son woke up and started crying. I knew he was ready for a feeding, but I really wanted to go to Starbucks. I stopped on the way home even though it meant letting him cry for an extra 10 minutes. I feel guilty about it, but he had a rough night last night and mommy needed a latte.” -- sharksfan
"My daughter knows how to turn on the TV. On weekends, we keep the channel pre-set to Sprout and when she wakes up, we tell her to go watch TV. Then we sleep for a few more hours." -- Amanda J.
"When I have to use the ladies room, I just put on my YouTube playlist of One Direction videos and sit him on the couch. He loves it!" -- Maya H.
"Full disclosure: I steal my nephew's snacks!" -- Hannah B.
"I don't think I've ever wiped down a high chair in a restaurant before letting my son sit in it." -- Rachel S.
"I've painted my son's toe nails. He loved it and it kept him sitting still for a bit while they dried." -- Ashley B.
"I am rear-facing my kid as long as possible, not really for the safety benefits, but so she can't see me eating snacks and drinking soda." -- Marsha W.
"I was on a work call and my daughter was crying about her favorite show getting deleted from our DVR, so to quiet her I gave her chocolate. There were a lot of no-no’s going on right there with the excessive TV, using food to soothe and not being able to pay attention in the first place to her because on the phone." - Leslie B.
"At the zoo my son and his friend were running off a lot. So I told them if they ran off that a Gorilla would come out of the trees and get them. It worked!" -- Monica H.
"In the morning getting ready the kids ready for school, I was so upset I yelled at my kids that they make being a mom miserable, that at that moment I really hated being a mommy. I can’t believe I said that out loud and felt so bad after. Good thing after school I explained and apologized. I think it’s okay for kids to see parents make mistakes and own up to them." -- Hayden B.
"We got a 'freebie day' from our son’s day care. They gave us 6 hours free on a Saturday. Since we've never had a “babysitter” on the weekend, we skipped all the house chores that we needed to do, dropped our son off for our 'freebie day' and my husband and I spent a day in the casino. It was a date that we haven’t had since birth of our son! But, we felt so guilty (because when we dropped him off, he was in tears!) that we got him a toy train that he had been wanting for a long time." -- Emma Q.
"When my baby was asleep I took the baby monitor to my neighbor’s house, so I could get out of the house and have some girly time (and a glass of wine with my friend)." -- Susan O.
"I let my kids play video games and watch TV all day because I couldn’t get a babysitter or a play-date on their day off from school." -- LuAnn R.
"I have told my family that, "Mommy doesn't feel well" so I can hide out sitting on the bathroom floor and catch up on my social media feeds on my phone." -- Diane L.
"I have threatened the kids to behave or else I will email/text message Santa (since he has an iPhone) and tell him to skip over us this year." -- Gloria K.
" I definitely eat the hidden Halloween candy (though they don't ask for it, they kind of forget about it after that day, so it's not really stealing, is it?)." -- Dana L.
"I make them a special drink called a "mommy cocktail" which is really just water with a splash of two different juices for some flavor (they HATE plain water and it's the only way I can get them to drink it. ("Cocktail" was probably not the most age-approriate choice of name for it, though.)" -- Christine M.
"I teach my boys how to make armpit farts while they are in the bathtub (a life skill all boys need to have!)." -- Shelly C.
*Some names have been changed.
Plus, more from The Bump:
Craziest Things Tired Moms Did
Are You Ready for Baby Number Two
10 Things to Do for You in 10 Minutes
See More: Parenting Styles , Mommy Life
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