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Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Should I really let my baby cry it out?

Re: Should I really let my baby cry it out?

The Bump Expert

If there were a simple answer to that question, bookstore shelves wouldn't be packed with advice guides on the subject! A two-second summary of the issue: Proponents of the “Cry it Out” method (sometimes called “Ferberizing” after creator Dr. Richard Ferber) say that suffering through a few nights of listening to your little one wailing is essential to helping her develop good sleep habits. Opponents of this philosophy say that it’s cruel to let a baby cry in the dark.

Our advice: Do what feels right for you and your husband, but know that very rare is the baby who learns to sleep through the night without shedding some tears (and usually a few blood-curdlingscreams). So if you’re at your wits’ end with night wakings, some sleep training might be a good idea. Before you decide to Ferberize, discuss it at length with your mate. Sleep training will only work if you’re both on board.

Paula Kashtan

re: Q: Cry It Out?

I have had good luck with a book called the "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. The techniques take a little longer to work than the "cry-it-out" method but they are just as effective and less tramautizing for the baby.

winbd |

re: Q: Cry It Out?

I highly suggest the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." Since putting the author's suggestions and tips into practice, my 4-month-old sleeps through the night most nights (if he wakes, it is just once and he goes right back to sleep after nursing) and goes down for his naps really well. He is predictable now and we got to this point with very little tears (from baby and mom). The author gives different strategies that work for different babies at different ages. The key is that not one strategy will work with all babies!

CarolinaKatie |

re: Q: Cry It Out?

We just did a sleep training with our 6 month old. We read about all different types of training and decided that we would do our own method (based on Ferber). I think it is important to choose one and stick with it for at least 2 weeks. Our son is sleeping some days from 6pm-2am (then we feed him) and wakes around 630. Other nights he has slept from 630pm-5 am. So it's just patience...Good luck!

dija2027 |

re: Q: Cry It Out?

This is the first day of trying to let our son cry to get him to go to sleep. This is at the suggestion of our pediatrician. I thought he was too young since he is only six weeks old. He is telling me that it is never too early. It kills me to listen to him cry.

sarahb25 |

re: Q: Cry It Out?

six weeks are you crazy!!! my pediatrician says no early then 4 months and if possible six, so does all the latest baby knowledge and research, until 4 months they are learning that you make them safe and comforted that you will always be there to take care of them and protect them! I am not even attempting to let my baby cry it out till he is 6 months old!

xXEgerBunnyXx |

re: Q: Cry It Out?

I agree, 6 week old seems way too young to be left to cry....seek a second opinion....your baby barely knows you yet!

baby #2 on the way |

Q: Cry It Out?

If every household had a "Happi Tummi" waistband, dads and moms would get some sleep. I cannot say enough about the success we had with the Happi Tummi. Try it! The product also let me bond better with our son.

caminhouse |

re: Q: Cry it out?

please do not let your six week old cry it out!! Oh my Gosh!!!!! I could just cry at the thought of that poor thing crying for mama!! Please please seek a new Pediatrician, he/she gave you some incorrect advice, mama!

Hilarycee |

re: Q: Cry it out?

Change pediatricians!! Go to your 6 week old! This is when they are learning that to trust that you will be their when they need you.

MommaCassie |

re: Q: Cry it out?

I agree with all the other posts, six weeks is far too young to let them cry it out. Pediatricians are experts in medicine, but not at night time parenting, all they have is their own experience and that is subjective. I am firmly against letting my daughter cry it out, because this teaches her not to trust her caregiver to respond to her needs. I recommend Dr. Sears The Baby Book, chapter on nighttime parenting. Our daughter sleeps practically through the night, sometimes waking once or twice.

Nora Borealis |

re: Q: Cry it out?

WOW!, I do believe that is very terrible. Please do not allow your newborn to "cry it out". My baby is a lil over 6 mths old and I just began a bedtime routine.

bklynrose4ya |

re: Q: Cry it out?

Has anyone ever read any of the facts about letting a baby "cry it out"?? It can have extremely detrimental effects on them as they grow into adulthood!! I for one am very against letting a baby CIO and I will never let my DD do this, regardless of her age. There are times, when she is older, that she will cry to try and manipulate, but any smart parent will know the difference between that and real cries. A 6 week old is far, far too young to let cry - any baby shouldn't be left to cry it out because this is the only way they can communicate with a parent/caregiver - they can't tell you in words what is wrong, so it's your job to go to them and figure out what is wrong, not to let them cry until they fall asleep, unanswered, unattended to, and feeling like their needs are not being taken seriously. Baby cries for mama for SOME reason - so mama (or papa or caregiver) needs to figure out what it is.Read this: http://www.sleepnet.com/infant3/messages/534.html

jholtzman |

re: Q: Cry it out?

like someone else wrote above, we have been told by our Dr. to not let our DS cry it out until after 6 months of age. Its not healthy for your babies development and teaches them that you aren't there for them when they need you.

Mrs.West07 |

re: Q: Cry it out?

My daughter was a great sleeper from the get go and then began waking up almost every 2 hours after about week 5. I thought I was going to lose my mind! I started being more consistent with her bed time routine (bath, infant massage, a book if she doesn't begin to look sleepy and nursing) and now she sleeps wonderfully! She goes to sleep around 9:30 or 10 (I have tried to get her to go earlier, but no matter how sleepy she is she won't be out until those times) and generally sleeps til 4, nurses or takes a bottle, back in her bassinet until 7:30. Then we start our day with her big "Good morning, mommy!" smile. I am so glad we got here with no 'crying it out' nights, I don't think I could handle that. I just hope we can keep these nights as they are. She is only 12 weeks and it's been like this for about 5 weeks, but she's never been a co-sleeper, so that may help in the long run.

khail84 |

re: Q: Cry it out?

I use the 5 minute rule. If my baby girl is still crying after 5 minutes, I pick her up. Most of the time she falls asleep before then.

allysonctrs |

re: Q: Cry it out?

I don't see the point in letting a child cry it out. Our babies need us and it is our job as their parents to go to them when they are crying. Sorry but I knew when I became a parent that there would be a few sleepless nights

chris93078 |

re: Q: Cry it out?

I can't believe a Doctor would say let your six week old cry it out! I , if I were you , would leave this Doctor immediately! A new baby that is what a 6 week old is is a NEW baby needs to know you are there. There has been a study that actual brain development is effected when babies are not attended to at early ages. It's called NEGLECT and your baby will pay the price!

keehnherring |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

my doctor said to bring the crib in to your room when they are born and have them sleep in that...they get used to sleeping in their own bed and it isnt such a big deal to move them out of your room. As for the crying it out, he said the baby has to be out of the room and sleeping through the night at 5 months!! I died trying to do that with my first baby. i was so worred about SIDS and other things that I could not sleep...it was too hard to put him back in his crib in his room during the middle of the night so I no longer breast fed. As for me, I think cry it out is harder on the mommies and some dads. it gives you the feeling that you are neglecting your child, but that isnt the case. apparently they do remember you in the morning!! lol...I was told being a parent is hard, but never emotionallllllly draining!

t.gifford |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

When my son was close to turning one he was still not sleeping through the night. Waking only to nurse himself back to sleep. He was a chunky little boy and his doctor said he didn't need to to feed during the night like he had been. And suggested not letting him fall asleep while eating, and to let him cry himself to sleep. The first night was the roughest, but he still only cried for about 10 mins. The second night maybe five. On the third night he went right to sleep with no crying! He is 2 1/2 now and has been sleeping through the night since then! I will definately use this again with our up-coming baby.

mallarym |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I think CIO is working okay - not for a 6 week old, though. Tonight will be night 4 for us with our 4 month old. Our daughter has always been up every 3-4 hours around the clock. Our pediatrician recommended starting rice cereal between her last two feedings and when she wakes up middle of night to let her cry a few minutes, then go to her crib to try and comfort her without picking her up. After a few minutes of that we leave the room and let her try to self soothe. With each trip back to her crib we wait a few minutes longer. She is now sleeping 7-8 hours solid, waking about 4 am and then she cries/soothes herself back to sleep after about 30-45 minutes. The trips to her crib let her know we are still there and love her. But she needs to learn to soothe herself. Also, I think it is a valid point to mention that when they start to teethe, it is not good for their teeth to eat mid night. Hopefully after a few more nights we will be sleeping all the way through the night!

jjrayner |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I have no research to back up this opinion...but my 6 week old is sleeping from 10:30p-6:30a not waking at all. I let him CIO a few times (that's all it took) and he is sleeping through the night. I don't think letting them CIO as an infant will negate the lifetime of love, attention and support you will give him as he grows up. Don't get me wrong...I hate every minute of his crying. It breaks my heard and makes me feel small, but has paid off in terms of healthy sleep habits baby and mommy!

brookarnold |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I normally jumped at the sound of my daughter's first tears during the night. But I let my her CIO once, around 8 weeks old. I was sick and being selfish and told myself that if she cried longer than 10 minutes that I would get up and take care of her. She only cried for about 3 minutes and fell back asleep. For the next couple of days I tried the same tactic. By the end of a week she was sleeping through the night.

Susan.Michelle |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

My daughter slept through the night at 6 weeks, and we didn't use the CIO method. I was going back to work, so when she awoke in the middle of the night we did other things to comfort her, like a cheek rub, a song, or just a hand on the back. Sometimes rocking. If she seemed legitimitely hungry, she had a bottle. But it only took 7 nights of that and she was sleeping through the night from 8pm-6am. My son is a different story. We used the same idea with him since it worked so well with our daughter, and it worked at 7 weeks. But suddenly at 5 months he started waking 8 times during the night. We hoped it was a phase and catered to the sudden apparent need for reassurance all night long. Then reassurance turned into ok now I want to eat! So at 8 months old he is still eating 2 or 3 times a night plus his usual during the day. It has been 3 months since we slept, and I think it's great for those of you who can get those extra couple hours of a nap during the day to make up for the all nighters, but for those of us who work and have to function for the sake of money, CIO is sometimes the only thing left. But you have to know your baby's cries. There's a difference..a very OBVIOUS difference..between the "I just want you to pick me up and bring me to bed" or "I just want a bottle because I can" cry, and the "I really am hungry or scared mommy" cry. And over the last couple nights it's been very obvious most of my baby's wakings have been "just because I can". Babies are not stupid, they know when they have you trained and they know how to fake a cry. I feel it's very unfair for some of the moms on here to be judging and criticizing other moms who use the CIO method just because they don't. Sarahb25..6 weeks is very early for CIO. I hope you changed your mind.

lilysmommy206 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

If your baby doesn't cry then their lungs will not be strengthened. I was letting my son "cry it out" when he was 6 weeks old and he is now a great sleeper. There is NOTHING wrong with it as long as you aren't simply ignoring him. Go in and check on him every 15-30 minutes to make sure he is ok, and try to give him his binki and then without talking leave the room. I think it is crazy of anyone who has a bad night sleeper NOT to try it. It will not hurt them just don't let them get overheated. So people need to quit making others feel like what they are doing by using the "cry it out" method is wrong, in the end it is YOUR child and YOUR decision.

Shan327 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I think this is such a hot discussion because people have their own beliefs. Different things work for different babies/families. Using terms like "crazy" to describe others' opinions and thoughts is so disrespectful. No one enters into parenthood with all the answers. No one enters into parenthood with bad intentions. It would be nice if people were able to get their points across without being rude.

red57501 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

My husband and I tried the CIO method for a few nights and found that it made my son's sleeping worse. While he croed he swallowed a lot of air whicj made him miserable and required burping. After speaking to his Pediatrician about his gas problems, I was told that most babies cannot self sooth till 3 months and some not till 6, so don't try the cry out method, it was doing more harm than good. I have been doing the 90-minute sleep program and my son, now 11 weeks, sleeps from 8:30-4, eats and then wakes again at 7:00 for the day. Some nights he has even gotten to 5 or 5:30. I know not every baby is not the same and mine has always been a good sleeper.

aliciakunkel |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Just know that no matter what you do...your baby won't remember, I learned about that at university in my childhood psychology class. You won't scar your baby for life and neither will it teach them to be tough. Do what is best for you and your sleep habits.

amarrs |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

my baby is 8 weeks old today. i usually dont have to worry about her not sleeping. but the pass few nights she has been so restless and doesnt want to be put down. i believe in the cry it out method but i also dont. i usually let her cry for like 5 to 10 min then pick her up. those 5 minutes usually get her worn out she falls asleep on me and lets me put her straight in the crib.

mandersryan |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

There's a great discussion about babies crying and attachment on Janet Lansbury's parent/infant site at Http://bit.ly/9fva56. The general advice is reassurance, that if the baby is not sick and you have met all of his/her needs, then maybe the baby just needs to cry. Don't stick a pacifier or nipple into his/her mouth every time she whines, because you're just teaching the child to stuff its feelings. As he/she matures, that can lead to all kinds of related issues like overeating and other -isms... Good luck to us all!

McDume |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Im a stay at home mom so i make the sacrifice of never letting him cry it out. The main reason being an article i read that sates that when you go check up on your baby as soon as possible when he cries it makes him feel secure and will have more of a bond and more trust... sleep is overrated anyways ;-)

Junesong_109 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I personally won't let my daughter cry it out. I am here for a reason as her mother to comfort and take care of her. My daughter's trust is more important to me than my sleep. I also don't find it that important to make her have a schedule.

ErikaB3 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I haven't yet tried th CIO method, but it worked for both me and my sister. My daughter is only 3 weeks, so I have a ways to go before i try it, but sometimes (especially if the baby has colic) you just have to let them cry or you will go insane.

ahill1889 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

OMG its the 21 century We didnt have any of this tech crap 20 years ago. Let the kid cry it out,He'll get tire and just give up.If there is something actually wrong you'll know,but dont smuther your kid with so much love and attention that they become momma's boys or whatever you call it. My kids are just fine and are smarter then i ever though kids could be!

xandersmommy10 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I did the CIO at about 2 months old and my son did very well w/it...it went from 15 minutes to 5 then he just knew how to bring himself to sleep...you will obviously know if there was something wrong if you are in tune w/your baby...letting them cry it out for a short amount of time is NOT wrong by any means. Otherwise as they do get older they will learn each time you came to the rescue even if there was nothing wrong they have you right where they want you...maybe you don't think when they are so little it's the right thing but trust me it save you a lot of heck when they get older. My son sleeps through the night and has since he was 2 months old and he is now 2. Be strong parents!

buddahbob15 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I am starting to try the CIO method where I go in and comfort him, without picking him up, every ten minutes...but I am not sure what to do when he wakes up in the middle of the night because he is still used to night feedings and then when i put him back down he cries. Do I do the same thing as in the beginning of the night, go in and check until he falls back asleep?

ArchersMom |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I also think 6 weeks is way too young to let cry like that. Babies need to feel secure and know that you are there for them. When babies cry, it's usually for a reason. Babies that young don't understand how to manipulate you by crying yet so when they do cry, it's very important that you try and figure out what the problem is and do your best to help your child feel better. In doing this, you're not only comforting your baby, but your also giving that child confidence and boosting her feeling of self worth. The baby will know he/she is important and that's something that will help him/her throughout their lives. So, my advice, even though I know it may get tough at times, don't let your child cry it out... Try helping first.

Lucky0608 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I have the same question as ArchersMom--what do you do when your baby wakes in the middle of the night and cries? Do you let them cry it out as you did when you put them to bed?

canadalynn |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I'm so torn.. We have a bedtime routine, cereal then warm bath & dressing, last feeding. LO is 18 weeks old. Breastfed. Falls asleep between 7 & 8 pm....only when he is put on the boob. Sometimes sleeps til 7 am, other times til 5 am -up for a feeding then back to sleep til 7, but recently waking frequently because he learned how to roll & ends up waking himself up....doesn't know how to soothe himself back to sleep. He's a tummy sleeper. Do I start the CIO method with sleeping him on his back???? Some say the CIO method is traumatizing... But, I want him to be an independent sleeper. And, it'd be nice to be able to get a sitter one night & not have to worry about him waking with me having to come home to nurse him back to sleep.... I'm a single 22 year old mom, sometimes I just need a little quality time away from home with my BF..to keep sane. The crying will kill me (I have told myself that I just need to sit outside in between the "intervals"), but is it worth it in the end?! and suggestions help:)

still07 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

NO! I am sooooooo glad I didn't ever let my one-year-old cry it out. My husband and I brought her crib in our bedroom, and I responded to her every need (mostly breastfeeding). If you let your baby cry-it-out, you are uneducated about how babies sleep. I recommend No Cry Sleep Solution by E. Pantley. Wait a year, my baby girl falls asleep every time I put her in her bed day and night.

rickyandmarissa |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Ultimately you need to do your own research and decide for yourself. I personally think CIO is ok because baby needs to learn to self soothe or sleep problems/dependency can occur later in life. However there is a difference to letting your child wail it out or just waiting for 5 mins to see if they can settle themselves. Baby is doing the 4 month wakeful, waking up 90 mins to 2 hrs. Sometimes I get depressed, but at the end of the day, everything will sort itself out. Rare is the child that will not develop proper sleeping skills. Try SleepEasy by sleepyplanet.com - it suggests the Least Cry method. I tried using Pantleys NCSS, but it personally didn't work for me - only thing that resulted was more crying from both baby and me!

MrsHyphenated |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Just want to address Rickyandmarissa's response. Not all babies are created alike. Not all babies will behave like your baby girl. To suggest that someone who lets there baby "cry it out" is not educated about healthy sleep habits is a hasty generalization. I have read the No Cry Sleep Solution, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, and The Happiest Baby on the Block. There are lots of different theories about sleep habits, some backed by research some by personal experience. Every parent and baby is different - I occasionally let my baby boy "cry it out" at times when all other measures fail. Overall all, he is a great sleeper and I find myself to be very well read and EDUCATED. I do what is best for my family and sometimes that means there are a few tears involved.

amandalane79 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

My six week old has a bedtime rountine and has never shed a single tear when I lay her down for night. I followed the Baby Wise book and she is on a schudule all day. At night tho, I feed her at 11 and then lay her down and she sleeps til 5:30-6 then another bottle and lays back down until 9. This is what works for us and others in our families and friends so it was that is why I choose the Baby Wise way, I agree however that every baby is different so do what works for you, your family and your baby.

RooRach0906 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I am looking into how we should try to get our son to sleep better and some of these discussions are very helpful. I just wanted to say two quick things... our son has had colic since week 2 (we're now almost three months) and the most important thing that we have learned with colic is that they need to hugged and reassured with your closeness ten times more than a baby that has not had constant colic. Unless you are losing your mind and need a minute to walk away and collect your thoughts please don't let a colic baby CIO. Secondly, I haven't had more than five hours of sleep since I was six months pregnant but I think my body and mind have adjusted for it. But it would be nice to get some more shut eye...

ergamos |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

my old pediatrician kept telling me to just let my daughter cry- even during the day. I changed pediatricians. my daughter is 5 months old and sleeps through most nights already. even when she does wake up, its only like once and she goes straight back to sleep. I've never let her cry herself to sleep.

countrygirl.36.14 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

this is a tough one really cause my daughter is now 3 and i never let her CIO and she is not a good sleeper and now i am pregnant with my second and i dont know what i will do i dont think i will let the new baby Cry but i will try diffrent things like the swing and just sitting there comforting my child not always picking the baby up because for me i just find listening to my baby cry and not doing anything makes me sad! like i am bad but i think its ur baby and do what u feel is best for u and ur baby!

LIVSMAMI908 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

What happened with us is that we moved into a bigger place with two rooms, so his crib was in the other room. I think it made it alot easier for him to sleep when he was by himself. I guess he felt there was no one there with him so it made it easier for him to just sleep. I don't know though....I'm pregnant with my second and I'm getting a little nervous about the sleep issues (since my first didn't sleep through the night until he was about 9 months old, and now he's about fourteen months old and he's starting to give us a difficult time sleeping at night again). Good luck!

radwae |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

As previously said, all babies (and parenting approaches, btw) are different. The CIO approach is fine if you are comfortable with it and are obviously not just ignoring your child. Some of the responses are extremely judgemental and borderline RUDE. The questions are asked because they are looking for an honest opinion people are not asking to be judged or called a bad parent or crazy. Ease up here, kids - sheesh! I personally found that the Baby Wise series worked for my son and my family. He was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks or so with one feeding around 11pm. He would feed, then go right back to sleep. When we were trying to drop a feeding at night, there were a few CIO nights, but my son never cried for more than 10-15 minutes. If your child is crying for 45 minutes or more, definetly check on him/her, he/she may not be ready to drop that feeding or sleep all the way through the night just yet. Some of us aren't able to be stay at home moms and should NOT have to feel judged because some of the stay at home moms choose to be at their babies' beck and call. That is a choice all of us moms have to make, the answer is never right or wrong, just right for each person. Chill out, ladies - babies cry - it's not the end of the world....

campbell16g |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I think an important factor everyone is leaving out is how much your babies weigh and what you are feeding. A smaller child will not sleep through the night as soon as a bigger baby. And breastfed infants will generally need mid-night feedings longer than those who are formula fed. They don't have enough fat on their bones to go that long until they're about 8 pounds. That's when DS started stretching things out at night too.

BJQ206 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

This is in answer to BJQ206. Could you please provide us with the scientific and medical data that states, as you put it "a smaller child will not sleep through the night as soon as a bigger baby"? My 9-month old niece is in the 99th percentile for weight, and she refuses to sleep through the night, and wakes up hungry. My best friend's 9-month old is [much] smaller than my niece, and slept through the night at 2 months. Both were and are still breastfed. Both are flourishing, and completely healthy. It just means they are different babies, nothing else.

monkiem |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

BJQ206 is right for the most part, i don't think it's size but age, most babies at six weeks wake up because they're hungry and if u know they are then it's wrong to let them CIO otherwise its completely up to the parent to decide what's best for their child i'm not exactly a stay at home mom i'm goin to school but i couldn't possibly let my 3 month old CIO because it does no good for me, i can't sleep through it, so i do get up and do what ever it takes to comfort her

CrazyRayRae |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

if you really believe that running to your child every time it cry' out will help it any more then not, i wish the the best of luck in the future. i know from personal experience that having a bleeding heart now will only lead to one later..."spare the rod spoil the child" i don't mean that one should disapline a crying baby yet, allowing them to cry for a while now allows them to Know that crying will not work when it comes to getting what they WANT!! of course if your baby cry' with out pausing from time to time perhaps you should see their doctor.

tmooneyham |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I started letting my son cry for 10 minute bouts when he was 3 months old after we did our nightly routine, bath-book-nurse then I would dance with him for a few minutes. I would tuck him in and turn on his seahorse that lights up and plays music. After a week he started to go down without crying...then he got sick and that got all thrown off, then we went on vacation and it got really thrown on, but I did the routine again and now at 7 months old he goes down and cries a little but i go in there and dance with him for a few minutes and put him down before he is asleep and he is ok :) Good luck!

QuinnandJJ |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I need help> My son will be turning 4 months next week. He is going through a wakeful period at night. I put him down at 7ish (rock to sleep) but he gets up at 8, 9, and sometimes 10. He isnt even fully awake just cries. I pick him up and hes back to sleep in a few minutes< usually. he gets up to eat at 3 or 4 then I put him back down sometimes hes up every hour again until 7am somtimes he sleeps through. I feel like he can't transition through his sleep cycles. and naps are the worst. his longest is about 40mins but many are shorter and he is still tired and grumpy but wont go back to sleep. How do I keep him sleeping? Is it too early for cry it out? he is big for his age and has slept through the night before But I am not sure if he really needs the 5am feed or not? As it is we give him less ounces then, Help!

jkaiser1 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I meant to say I am not sure if he needs the 4am feed.

jkaiser1 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I dont understand how some doctors still advice that you should let your child cry-it-out. I dont think they are educating themselves enough or basically they are not good doctors at all.....

cyeliz |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

actually, the crying it out has been proven very negative... http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/sleep-training-review-of-research.html

m853088 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I have let all of my children cry it out, just as my parents did with my sibblings and I and I assure everyone that my children are very healthy and happy. I mean really has crying ever hurt anyone? Of course if your baby is crying for an hour straight maybe you should go in and check, but your child crying for an small amount of time is not going to damage them! Today everyone is so worried about tip-toeing around and if we all think back to when we were little a lot was different...and I think most of us turned out just fine. Relax, letting your baby cry isn't going to damage them for life.

MRSCOPPAGE |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

OK, here goes. My baby boy is 7 1/2 months old. For about 2 months now he wakes up every couple of hours or so. We have tried to let him cry it out when putting him to bed & after he wakes up. He will cry until we get him, its the high pitched screaming that gets to me & my husband the most. We always start the night by me nursing him on the sofa, then taking him to the crib about 9:00 & by 11-12 he's up screaming. He is a very stubborn little guy, only breastfed, no pacifier or bottle or sippy cut & wants to nurse(use me as a pacifier) ALL night! It doesn't bother me to let him sleep with us, but its tiring on me. I don't want to sound like I'm complaing because I love having my baby close to me, but enough is enough. Please send any suggestions, I would appreciated it.

smaestas |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I was not a big fan of the CIO theory. I felt that if my LO was crying it was because he really needed me. But what I found out over time is that my sweet little angel was taking advantage of me. He too, used his mommy like a human pacifier and I was very ok with it. But he is now 9 1/2 mos old and I feel as though he should be sleeping throughout the night and can go all night without food. Plus, he's a wiggler and I'm so afraid he's going to fall off the bed while I am asleep. So what does all this mean? It's means I'm not sleeping as well as I should be and neither is he. So, with this newfound knowledge, I spent a week getting JC used to sleeping in his bed. Believe me....it was painful to hear him cry. But I gave it a time limit....no more than 5 mins of crying at a time. I would then check on him and reassure him he was fine and it was ok to sleep in his crib. I would lay him back down, rub his back for a min or so and walk out. After a few crying spells he went off to sleep. But trust me, there were some nights he went down at 8 or 8:30 pm and woke up at 1 or 3 am to nurse. I nursed him and put him back to bed. I was determined that he was going to sleep in his own bed. And eventually, each night it got better and by the end of the week, we were both sleeping through the night. I have never seen a child so stubborn in all my life! But you have to be persistent. It will be painful, you will lose hours of sleep the first week but eventually you LO will get the idea that you are no longer the pacifier. And as crazy as this sounds, put your LO to bed earlier. Why this works I don't know but it does. You'll be amazed. Good luck!

jcmom32010 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

six weeks is way too early to let your baby 'cry it out'. Your son is waking up for feedings that is why he is crying. Don't let him cry it out, get out of bed and feed your son!!!!!!!!!!!

jessicaravenscroft@yahoo.com |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Crying it out doesn't mean leaving your little one screaming in vain. I used the cry it out theory at 7 weeks, but I would go in every 5-10 minutes to rub her tummy and calm her down to reassure her that she's not been abandoned (w/out picking her up). The first few times were hard, but then eventually it only took 5 minutes for her to fall asleep. She's a very secure baby and not really fussy. This method has been in the family a long time. BUT, having said all this, I did it as I felt confident of the method. To me, it's worth sleeping through the night and having a well rested baby (and happy). Take it easy on the 6 week mama! 6 weeks is an okay time to do it! Before that, I wouldn't recommend it. But, everyone has an idea and a method. Take what you find best and stick to it.

[MAK] |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I agree with everyone else on here who says 6 weeks is waaaaaay too early to let baby cry it out! A good pediatrician will tell you no earlier than 4 months. Babies that young need to be fed often and feel comforted by your touch. Sleep training is for older babies who are out of that "4th trimester" stage.

nbostic |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CIO is HORRIBLE. YES, babies WILL sleep through when they are ready... or at least, they won't wake their parents when they do wake! My daughter slept through on her own, no tears at 18 months. My 15 month old son will too when he is ready. Until then, I will respond to my children when they cry (unless it is a temper tantrum because I said "no"!) YOU may not think they have a need but wanting to be held, nursed, rocked, sung/talked to is a NEED! How would YOU feel if the person you trusted most shut you in a quiet, dark room and let you scream until you were so exhausted you simply passed out... I bet you would lose trust in that person. Responding to a baby's (or toddler's or older child's) cries is NOT spoiling them and they WILL become independent and sleep through the night!

mom71307 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

My question is what do you do when they have a pacifier in their mouth, the pacifier falls out and gets stuck somewhere that is bothering them (not hurting but bothering), like under his neck.. if I go right back in and put the pacifier in, he falls back to sleep.. BUT I'm not teaching him to soothe himself. If I wait 3-5 minutes and do a modified CIO, he's not falling asleep on his own because of the stupid pacifier! I'm really struggling with the battle of the pacifier. My son is 4 months old. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

simwalle |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

google "harvard cry it out". I read that and was surprised at what I learned. So many doctors advocate crying it out... It wasn't that long ago either when they would pressure new mothers to put the baby on formula because they believed it was better than breast milk. sheesh!

ldd928 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

My baby is close to 9 mons old and at about 6 months my pediatrician said I should let her CIO but I had a hard time with that then because I didn't have room for a crib where we were so she was sharing a bed, for the last month and a half she's had her own crib and as much as I want to let her CIO we share a room plus I don't want to disturb my neighbors. I've tried letting her CIO on the weekends but she just cries until I get her. She used to only wake up once a night but now she's waking up to 4 times a night, I'm doing this on my own and I work too. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm almost ready to be selfish and put in some headphones at night and go back to sleep since I won't be able to if she's just crying right next to me. I don't have time to read any books, I barely have time for this. PLEASE HELP!!

cklatt21 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

We read and followed the book baby wise. It is mostly about scheduling and says you will have a very happy baby that sleeps thru the night by 9 weeks. I was definitely skeptical but gave it a try and by 10 weeks my daughter was sleeping 7 hours during the night without waking up. Now she is 6 months old and sleeps 10-12 hours with out waking during the night. She is a very happy and calm baby. Babies need consistancy and routine and trust and reassurance more than anything.

Averysmom2010 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I'm a mom of 2- a 3.5 yr old and a 5 week old. I tried my own adaptation of CIO for the now 3.5 yr old-- I wouldn't really let her CIO for more than 5 minutes without checking on her, but CIO was only needed once or twice and she was sleeping beautifully- 10-6am at 8 weeks old, 7pm-6am by 10 weeks. Now she is a very smart, incredibly well-adjusted and independent toddler. She is very secure, knows she is very loved, and does well at pre-school (she already writes all of her letters and can spell several words!) because she is operating on a solid night of good sleep. Good sleep is as important to a baby/child's development as anything else- food, love, etc. By helping your child sleep, you are not being selfish, you are being a good parent. Kids who sleep better are less likely to be overweight, do better in school, etc. If they are still waking at night at 6 months old, it is likely out of habit, not because they have a need to be attended to. I really don't think a little CIO has a negative impact whatsoever- and my 3 year old is proof. Once my little guy gets older, I will do the same- if that's what's needed to get him to get a solid night of sleep- not for me, but for his own development. Of course every parent should go with their instincts, but I think my toddler is proof that a few nights of CIO do not in any way traumatize a kid. She seriously is an amazing and super happy kid- even with a new sibling monopolizing some of the attention she's used to :)

eac353 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

What if you have twins? its hard t let the one cry it out cause then the other one gets woken up

etracy |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

My husband and I were lucky enough to be blessed with natural triplets and as we are obviously outnumbered, there is sometimes no alternative but to let one of our little ones cry as we attend to one or both of her siblings. I just do not believe that we are inflicting lasting psychological trauma on our child. I have a Masters degree in Clinical Psychology, so I am familiar with many of the theories about the importance of immediately responding to your infant's cues. But ultimately, I believe that if you love your baby (and since we're all trolling The Bump's message boards, we all clearly do) he will have a lifetime of experiences that will prove to him that he is loved. Everyone on here seems to have very strong opinions about crying it out; but truly, if you love your baby, she will know. We as mothers are often made to feel guilty about one thing or another. Let this not be one of them. If letting your baby cry it out is the only way to get a full night's sleep, so be it. Having a chronically sleep-deprived mommy will likely prove to be more detrimental in the long run than a few tearful nights.

katherinejuliafrancis |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I guess some of the women on here either do not have jobs or have emotionally abandoned any relationship with their partner. To be THAT CONCERNED with their baby crying, that you would spend every moment in that nursery preventing her to cry, is rediculous in my opinion. Babys cry, thats what they do. Sometimes there is just no consoling them. My baby girl Avery is colic-y and never shuts up until the very wee hours of 3 or 4 am. My fiancee works 45 hour weeks and I work from home 8 hours a day. If we did not let her just cry it out sometimes, we wouldnt be able to function and provide for our family. Some of you women on here have the LUXURY of sitting on you ass all day and obsessing over every little sound and stir the baby makes at all hours of the day, But honey, that is not reality. If you constantly coo and coddle your child all day long, what are you going to do if/when you start back to work, or have another child, or have to go away a night or 2 without her? Think about how damaging THAT will be for your little one. Furthermore, I find it very hard to believe that everyone who is so against CIO have tended to their child's every tear. Sometime, its just not enough. If your baby is gassy or upset or colic-y, no amount of cuddling and comforting can change their physical discomfort, If she is safe, changed, and you have done all that you can, why put yourself through night after sleepless night. Go back to bed and show your husband some attention for a change, he is, after all, supporting you!

Blondissimo83 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

wow... why have kids if you are going to let them lay and cry for hours? I have a full time job and two part time jobs and I am able to comfort my child put him to sleep with out "CIO" get up 1-3 times in the middle of the night and i am still able to fuction at work. I have a fiance that does not support me or help out... and I cook dinner and pack lunches for my wonderful fiance. I still find time to comfort my child. I dont sit on my ass all day. Even if he is just gassy he is happier when im holding him then if I lay him down and ignore him. My fiance is a big boy he can take care of himself. So maybe the first few months will be hard and your husband/fiance/boyfriend may not get all of your attention. Big deal... my 3 month old childs needs are more important. Babies that young wake up for a reason... stop being so cold hearted. Do us all a favor and stop having kids if you dont want to comfort and care for them.

slnulf |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

help!!!! i have a 4 month old daughter who will not sleep unless she is in my arms or bed. We always started out putting her in her bassinet and even for a while her crib. She has separation anxiety so even during the day she always wants to be able to see me. At night she wants me to hold her and rock her and the minute I lay her down she wakes up it doesnt matter how deep of a sleep she is in. I have tried to let her cio but she has reflux and will just throw up everywhere also she never gives up she has cried for over an hour straight with me going in her room every 5 minutes. So I always wind up letting her sleep in bed with me which is something i always said i woukd never let her do. My hsband can't help me duri ng the week because he is an electrician and could get seriously injured if he goes to work exhausted and I am a stay at home mom. I am happy to keep her near me all day but I would love if she had some independence at night so we both could sleep better. I am starting to feel like shes going to be sleeping in our bed till shes old enough to understand she has her own. I jave tried everything I can think of but she is so stubborn. Any advice or suggestions shes napping in my arms as I am pleading for help!!

rinao82 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

ive been trying the cry it out method for weeks and it has left me even more tired and frustrated and my son is 10 months old!!! he insists on not going back to sleep until he is in bed with me(im a single mom) so i have no help!!! i love cuddling with my son, but at this age he tosses, farts and kicks all night leaving me miserable and exhausted...can someone please help>>>>>something BESIDES ferberizing PLEASE!!!

queenmermaid |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I was told by my pediatrician to let our LO cry it out at her 2 week appointment, she said that it would let her know that "crying will get her no where" from the start. But as any mother who has tried it will tell you, it is unbearable and I couldn't do it. I believe that our natural motherly instinct is to care for our child not to let them lie there and cry. I highly value instinct over anyone's reserach or book or other mumbo jumbo. Essentially I am saying that a mother's instinct is usually right, especially when it comes to why your child is crying, and it is ok to comfort them. I will say though I started "sleep training" our daughter at one month, I would only let her cry for 15min max. before going to pick her up and put her to sleep and then back in her crib, it didn't take her long to adjust to sleeping in her own room in her crib. Now at four and a half months she prefers to sleep in her crib at night and doesn't put up any fuss about it. She sleeps mostly through the night (in 4-6 hour stretches) if she wakes before her usual feeding I put her pacifier in her mouth and leave the room. She then goes back to sleep on her own, without any fuss. The one thing that I have found that keeps her asleep is white noise. I have a clock radio in her room set to static that I turn on before i put her down each night and keep it on all night. I have been using this since I started putting her in her crib. I also keep the lights off, I don't change her diaper (unless she pooped) and I don't talk during the night feedings, and she goes right to back to sleep and into her crib for the rest of the night.

costos2 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I believe it is absolutely terrible to let an infant lay there and cry. They don't know how to express their needs other than to cry. If your infant is crying, there is a reason and it needs to be addressed. Even if it's simply because they need a hug. How would you feel if you needed something, couldn't tell anyone, and when you tried the only thing you know how to do (i.e. crying) and no one came to at least check on you? Even colicky babies need attention.

alleykatbride08 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I tried the cry it out method when my daughter turned 14 months old because nothing else seemed to work. Some babies are just stubborn like her parents, hehe. Anyways I did this...I would make sure she had a good dinner, then bathed her before bedtime, I gave her a teddy blanket, made sure her room was in good room temperature and her sheets were comfy, then I gave her a kiss and told her I loved her and that it will be okay.. After two days, she would roll over on her pillow each night with her blanket and fall asleep by herself without a peep. It was the best decision I could of made. It was definitely hard the first night to hear her cry but to know that there was absolutely nothing wrong with her it gave me strength and now I sleep peacefully every night!

missdaisie04 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

My now 2 month old daughter started uncontrollably crying for hours after 5pm at night around 5 weeks old. She wasn't getting good naps during the day either. Everyone was talking about how they got to see their baby smile for the first time and coo around 5-6 weeks old. My poor little girl as probably the most unhappy baby I had ever met. When she wasn't nursing or asleep she was crying or fussy. We thought it was colic, so we tried a pacifier to help soothe her. Then it became a marathon of putting the sassy back in when she would spit it out and cry. It didn't seem to get better but worse. She even started screaming at the breast. She would suck nd as soon as she had to swallow she would thrash and scream. We told our dr and she said she wasn't getting good rest and she was over tired. Also that she had nipple confusion. She looks to suck to soothe but not to eat. Sh suggested that we take the pacifier away and let her CIO. Checking on her every 10 min, pick her up, calm her down, check her diaper then lt her lay down again. So we did it. She cried for an hour and a half just like usual. No ammount of holding or singing or soothing from me or anyone every 10min di any good as uual.

blytheadams2009 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

as usual. She finally gave up and fell asleep. She slept for 2 hours! I was amazed bc she had never slept for more than 30 min at a time! After that horrible night she was a toally different baby. The next day she wke up happy, only fussed a few min when putting her down, and SHE SIMLED! Anyone that says its crazy to let your child cry it out, has probably never done it. As long as they are fed, changed, burped, and safe, is see nothing wrong with it. My daughter is totally happy now and sh is ahead in developmen for a 2month old!

blytheadams2009 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Most of my kids just slept with my husband and I. It was just easier that way. When some family members found out that the youngest one was sleeping with us, they were sure we would never get her out of our bed. I had to ask.."Why don't the older ones sleep there?" I've also been told that sex will end and I have to ask..."Why have I had 7 children?"

autumn56789 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I need help with this same problem....My daughter sleeps wonderfully through the night. She takes a 2 hour nap everyday at day care but on the weekends even when we stay on the same schedule as the daycare she will not nap. I can sometimes get her to lay down if I nurse her to sleep. I have tried the cry it out but she cries for over a half an hour and I can't take it. If I go in to calm her it makes it worse....I don't know what to do. With out a nap she is a cranky girl the rest of the night. She will sometimes fall asleep in her excersauser but this isn't a habit I want to get into, and I would like to get out of the nursing her to sleep habit...I can't give keep nursing her for two hours so she will nap!

libdancer08 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I highly recommend the book, "Babywise". I have used the techniques described in the book and at 7 weeks, my baby started sleeping 8 hours through the night. The main ideas are: feed every 2.5-3 hrs, organize into a feed/wake/sleep cycle and put baby down when he is sleepy, but not asleep. Also, in the early weeks of nighttime feedings, keep the room as dark as possible and do not talk or interact with your baby more than feeding and changing him. It has worked for me and my friends, and I am very grateful to my friend who recommended this book to me.

beach lover |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I really think that if you feel it is what's best for your baby you should at least try it. My LO is 11 and a half weeks and for the past month he has gone backwards on his sleeping habits. When he was sleeping regularly and able to fall asleep on his own his development was a great and he seemed to be ahead of the game. I feel like these past couple of weeks have been hell and a so many steps backwards. It has been breaking my heart seeing him so tired and not being able to fall asleep without any help. It started when we were trying to break him of associating eating with sleeping, let me tell you if I could go back and change it knowing what I know now I wouldve let him keep his bottle as way of falling asleep bc it was his comfort and when we took that from him i really think it's what started all of this. He was only sleeping while we held him (mostly me) which was okay bc he was sleeping well this past week he doesn't even sleep if we hold him, yesterday he actually cried himself to sleep in my arms. And I know he's not hungry or wet, he really is tired. So today I had to try to let him cry it out. People may not agree but I have to let him try and do it on his own. I don't know if it is going to work (wish me luck) I just want him to be okay :( and be able to sleep.

cwilder02 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Babycareadvice.com - this website was great. It does cost for a long term assessment, but the amount of knowledge she gives is amazing.

cwilder02 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

NO!!!!!!!!! i am on my 5th baby (5 weeks old) now & as much as possible i never let my babies cry. i believe it causes unnessicary stress in their lives. my heart couldnt take a helpless child who never asked to be born to cry for help. i slept with all my kids.& breastfed all of them for a year each. my older (13, 11, 9, & 4)kids are so well behaved, so kind to others & sleep in their own beds. my sons can change a diaper & do a load of dishes & yet very manly @ the same time. my kids are great & i never left them to cry. even the older ones arent aloud to take off pouting. we talk about it & deal with whats upsetting them. THATS FAMILY! THATS TRUST! THATS COMMUNICATING!!! THATS LOVE!!!!!

nielly7 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

No! Look up the cycle of needs. Babies need to build trust, by ignoring their behavioral expression (crying) we are missing the underlying need (diaper change, hunger, temperature, or needing to be held). Forget what your pediatrician says about letting a baby "cry-it-out" because guaranteed they never studied the emotional effects it could potentially have.

delaney5402 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

That is just silly to let your 6 week old cry it out at that age they are growing and breast milk or formula is my not sustian them through the night. My child is noe 6 months and he still gets up to feed and goes right back to sleep. yOU KNOW YOUR BABY BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE DO WHAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU!

dshaw10 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

My 4 month old has been sleeping through the night since 3 weeks old and I mean 10 pm to 7 am and now she sleeps 9 pm to 8 am. She takes naps great. I worried about her sleeping habits because I rock her to sleep and she rarely goes to sleep by herself. We just now moved her from her bassinet to her crib and she is still sleeping through the night comfortably, sleeps better than me, worried about her all night being across the hall. I have contemplated letting her cry it out to go to sleep on her own but then decided she is a good sleeper why would I put her through that

cara_beth |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Here is what the American Academy of Pediatrics and Healthychildren.org suggest: Put your baby to bed when drowsy but still awake. This will help your baby learn to fall asleep on her own in her own bed. Holding or rocking her until she is completely asleep may make it hard for her to go back to sleep if she wakes up during the night. Wait a few minutes before responding to your child's fussing. See if she can fall back to sleep on her own. If she continues to cry, check on her, but don't turn on the light, play with her, or pick her up. If she gets frantic or is unable to settle herself, consider what else might be bothering her. She may be hungry, wet or soiled, feverish, or otherwise not feeling well.

faithquinn |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

When my 6 wk cried n got real upset he helled his breath n stop breathing. I silent let my 6 wk cry it out

rellrell |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I think if you have a newborn, it is your responsibility to attend to him at every cry to do a diaper check, offer to let him nurse, or just speak softly or sing to him to help him calm down. He could be too hot/cold, over/under stimulated, hungry, or have a dirty diaper. Babies cannot be spoiled or learn how to manipulate their parents until they are at least 6 mos or older. My son is 27 weeks and he is just getting into the phase where he will cry if you take away something that he is not supposed to have or if you put him down when he still wants to be held. For these things, I let him CIO. But when it comes to night time wake-up calls, I still go check on him. We just moved him into the crib in his own room and I always want to make sure he is warm, dry, and not hungry. I wouldn't want to cry myself to sleep because I had hunger pangs, was too cold, or sitting in a puddle! If everything is ok, I just tell him, "Nighty Night." And walk out of the room. I'm hoping this will establish a pattern so he knows that Mommy isn't going to stick around to entertain him or cuddle him throughout the night. I need sleep too! Letting newborns CIO can be detrimental to their emotional development. They are too young to have developed a sense of security yet and have not developed a bond or any trust in their caregivers this early. Running to them in the beginning and holding them a lot will actually help them to feel safe and develop into more confident and independent babies/children. Here's an interesting and informative article on the subject by Dr. Sears: http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fussy-baby/science-says-excessive-crying-could-be-harmful

The Winged Painter |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

While I agree that it is my job to answer my baby's cry because it is her only way to communicate her needs - sometimes she just needs to cry. What I mean is, every option of offering comfort has been offered and refused, she just won't settle. And as a Mom dealing with PPD, I know that the best thing I can do for my girl when I get frustrated is to put her down. I let her cry for 2-4 minutes and come back to try and comfort her again.

toasteroven |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I am sitting here reading all the posts about the person that posted she let her 6 week old cry it out. Well I just found out today my GF let my 6 week old son cry it out this morning because she wanted to get a shower and she claims he won't allow her to do anything i.e. eat, clean, take a shower, sleep...etc. I was a bit disappointed to hear her tell me that she just let my poor little guy sit there and cry like that. I have no idea why she can't get things done around the house or take a quick shower while he is napping. I am beginning to learn my son's different cries! There's the "Im hungry cry"; The "I need my diaper changed Mom or Dad cry" and finally "the "Something is bothering me cry" that is usually more of an intense cry and nothing you do calms him down. I think the latter has to do with him not being able to have a BM or some other complication.

Chuck1906 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Just read this board amd alot of the posts. My son just turned 7 months a few weeks ago and has never yet slept through the night or or more than five hours at a time. I deffinitely think anywhere from birth to about 4 months old doing the "cry it out" method isnt good. Babies at that age are building trust and bonding and need feedings at that time (middle of the night). But at four months old I started a routine with him. For example, bathing him, cleaning his mouth, brushing his hair, baby massage before bedtime. He would get a bottle and either he would fall asleep between 8-830pm on me, his daddy or seem sleepy enough to lay him down. Most children will not sleep 8 hours straight or more...wishful thinking. My son alsoS has been recently teething and it disturbs his sleep and ours as well. We are parents and need to understand that our children need us, trust us. It's important to keen into your child's needs. If u know his been fed, changed, not in pain, etc...I think you can let a baby work it out by crying a bit in small increments as long as your checking. What I do, is go in his room, maybe turn on his lighted mobile...rub his back or belly. Let him know im there, I love him and it's night, night time. Sometimes it works and others it doesn't. Routine is important. Not to say, u can't have an off day or stay out late. But basics are key...

bellasmiles914 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I think that letting the baby cry for 5 minutes, which is very hard because all I want todo is comfort hr. Sometimes she is just fussy and it works like a charm.

Peggy1011 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I am firmly against the cry out method my husband was raised with it and it is not a good thing. Babies are only babies for a while they just want affection and to be wanted. So hold them while you can because there will come a day when they don't want held. My son is almost 3 months and he goes to sleep around 8-9pm wakes up at two and gets a rice bottle it does wonders he sleeps until 9pm. Rice bottles keep them full longer and you don't have to give them very much to keep them happy. My son cries if he doesn't get one. Try that if your losing sleep.

brittwort09 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

We are trying the cry it out method but my baby has started standing up in the crib. I am afraid she will let go and fall backwards and hit her head. (I have seen her do this a few times in the pack n play but there's nothing to hit her head on there) if i lay her back down she just cries harder and stands up again. what do i do????

sebjeff1330 |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Firstly, you should never add rice to a baby's bottle and most especially not at 3 months. They are too young and their gut is not mature enough. If your baby is formula fed they should not have solids before 17 weeks at the very earliest. THese are international guidelines. I agree with one of the above posts that used the 'no cry sleep solutions' book by Kim West. This is fabulous. It is half way between Sears and Gina Ford. A form of cry it out where you stay next to the cot soothing and supporting them. Its like this book was written for my baby but I do feel it is individual to the parents and babies personalities. Some people I know have had great success with cry it out but it definitely should not be tried before 6 months old. You have to do what is right for you as a family.

hairymonkey |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Crying it out releases stress hormones in the baby's brain causing long-term negative effects of separation anxiety and insecurity. If it kills you to listen to your baby cry, get a new pediatrician and listen to your maternal instincts telling you to go and pick that baby up and cradle him or her in your arms.

nikkibs |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Get "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby". The author provided reasoning and tactics for all different types of babies and their various sleeping struggles. We saw instant results in our 7 month old who was waking up as often as 4 times a night and not napping during the day unless nursing. Now he is sleeping 12-13 hours a night, and taking to 2 to 3 naps a day. Granted the daytime naps average 40 minutes, but he barely cries now and they are in his crib! My husband and I are in shock at how quickly it worked once we committed to it. It has literally saved my sanity (and marriage). I think this book really works because It is based on actual scientific sleep studies of babies, toddlers, children's, adolescents and adults as well as years of working with parents to find practical solutions and practices for giving your child the best sleep habits possible which are so important for their physical and cognitive growth. Download or run out and get it, but don't hesitate or you will be kicking yourself for waiting.

jdklein |

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

----My baby was scared of the dark!!!!---- My son would cry every night we put him in his crib ever since he was born. It broke my heart to here him cry, and I thought it was too young to let him cry it out. I didn't know what to do until I figured out at that he was scared of the dark!!! Since then, I put a desk lamp that stays on from 9pm-12am, and a color changing nightlight near his crib so he can look at it throughout the night. I haven't had a problem since. I'm so glad that I didn't try to let him "cry it out" at such a young age!

ek91745 |

theory-of-cry-it-out

How can i get my six month to have longer naps

sweetiep28 |

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