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What's the Difference Between Baby Blues and Depression?

I don't love being a mom as much as I thought I would. Could it be the baby blues or depression?

Re:

I don't love being a mom as much as I thought I would. Could it be the baby blues or depression?

The Bump Expert

The first month or two with baby can be tough, we know. It's okay to feel overwhelmed when everything around you is suddenly changing. Being a mom is a tough job, so expect that you'll need time to adjust and not to love every minute of it.

Lots of women suffer from what's commonly called the baby blues, which can last anywhere from a few days to a few weeks after delivery. You may find yourself feeling low, unable to focus, lacking an appetite and having a hard time getting to sleep (even after baby's gone down). Some moms with the baby blues describe themselves as feeling isolated and emotionally fragile. If you're experiencing any of these symptoms, you're not alone. This is a normal part of a baby (though it certainly may not feel that way) and is reported by about 70 to 80 percent of new moms, according to the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecologists. That doesn't mean you should minimize the rough emotions; rather, just remember that you're not abnormal and strange, and the feelings should pass.

"Classic baby blues caused by hormonal changes typically subside about 14 days after birth," says Laura Riley, MD, director of labor and delivery at Massachusetts General Hospital. If you're past the first couple weeks and still feeling anxiety, head to your doctor. You might be suffering from postpartum depression, which is a serious illness that affects an estimated 10 percent of new moms, causing profound feelings of anger or sadness for months after childbirth. A strong sense of guilt, extreme fatigue and panic attacks are other common manifestations. In some cases, the symptoms can go even darker, causing thoughts of harming baby or yourself

"The psychological component of postpartum depression varies for everybody," says Riley. So the only way to truly determine whether it's baby blues blues or postpartum depression is to speak with your doctor. And remember, many women have been in the same position, and there are effective treatments. Though asking for help can be scary, there's no reason for you to feel ashamed. In fact, reaching out to others is one of the strongest things you can do -- for yourself and for baby.


Paula Kashtan

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

I've been depressed before so I talked to my husband before and after I gave birth (which was 3 weeks ago) and asked him to help me watch out for becoming depressed. I have been crying over little things and he keeps checking on me and talks to me about it. It helps a lot. I think that may be the one thing that keeps the baby blues from turning into true depression. For me it feels very strange not being pregnant anymore. I didn't enjoy pregnancy very much but that's what I was for almost 10 months. Now I'm not. It's kind of a lonely feeling.

ash138 |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

I gave birth 5 weeks ago and am just now starting to feel real down. My twins were born early at 34 wks and slept a lot during the first few weeks. Now one is colicky and the other is really fussy. I guess I am just feeling overwhelmed taking care of both of them all by myself. Most days I could just cry and cry. My husband is really supportive but I try and keep it from him b/c he gets concerned and I get embarrassed. I keep telling myself this to shall pass. I feel guilty about feeling this way b/c I love my girls so much!!

Jan1nna |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

I gave birth 7 weeks ago by c-section and i have just been to the doctors to say im still not feeling right. I dont like talking about my problems but im still crying all the time. im so unhappy with the way i look (stretch marks and a scar) and i feel completely alone and isolated. ive just completely lost my identity..... im a girlfriend and a mother, not laura. nobody wants to spend time with me, its just the baby. my boyfriend is wonderful and wants to help but i just dont know how he can. all my dr said was that i should talk to my health visitor but for someone who doesnt like talking about their problems im not sure how much that will work.

l_toomer |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

Right now I have an issue with the blues. It doesnt help that my husband treats his other daughter like a queen but at the same time yells at my son for doing exactly wht she does. Its not fair to my son & its really getting to me. Its like his kid can do no wrong while mine is nothing but wrong. All I do is hide alone in my room & cry. I cant talk to him about it for fear that he'll get mad at me for thinking this way about HIS kid.....on top of feeling really insecure about myself & hating the way I look with the baby pouch goin on....I just dont know what to do....

Fallenangel87 |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

My husband has two girls from a previous marriage. We had a boy. For the first four weeks he was home with me, it was like I didn't exist. I feel so jealous of our son. Am I overreacting? I've heard plenty of times that Daddies get jealous, not so much that Mommies do. Is it baby blues? Anybody else experience the same thing or something similar???

Victoriamae1985 |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

I am wondering about this myself. I haven't felt like harming my baby or myself but I have STRONG feelings about his daddy. He has me so angry that I keep imagining how much we would be better off if he left. I feel like what he does to "help" doesn't outway the money it takes to keep him here. I had my baby 3 weeks ago and I am working from home and going back to work before the baby's 4 week b-day because I got rent to pay, diapers to buy, and him to take care of. He cooks and cleans but lately, he isn't doing that. And I take care of the baby 85% of the time. It didn't used to bother me but the past 4-5 days, I have been daydreaming of throwing him out. And I feel guilty that it gives me so much pleasure. I had to vent this to someone, thanks.

snoflakspa |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

I am due in about 8 weeks and I am definitely worried about getting baby blues. My husband is in Iraq. He's scheduled to have leave right around when the baby will be born but I know that it's going to be so hard to have him leave again right after. I know that my mom got postpartum depression and I'm worried that the stress of having a new baby and having to say goodbye to my husband so soon after giving birth will push me over the edge. I am going to be proactive about it though. I'm going to talk with my doctor and my family and friends and hopefully they will be able to support me. I am just so worried that I won't be a good mother while I'm feeling sad.

cudls16 |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

I have had depression in the past as well as panic attacks. So I discussed the possibility of Baby Blues w/ hubby before we delivered. My son is 9 months old & I've been telling myself it'll get better. it's not. I'm not sad as in crying, but just down and blue. I want to lock myself in the bedroom and just be alone. But then I don't want to be away from my adorable boy for more than 5 minutes! I feel guilty about everything and isolated as well. I called my doctor just the other day & she called in a prescription for me. And I set an appointment up to chat with her in 2 weeks. I think it's important for all mom's to know it's ok to ask for help. There's nothing wrong with you. But if you are feeling anxious or resentful towards you babies it is urgent to go get help. Those little ones need their mommies healthy. And you need to be your best kids mom! You're not alone ladies - gray skies will be sunny again!!! Get help so you can enjoy your life and family.

tami3573 |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

I can relate to everyone's' posts. I just had my first child 2/1/2011, and I experienced extreme panic attacks for around 3 months after having him. I've managed my bipolar for many years before having the baby, and I knew baby blues were probably in my future. Even though I talked to my husband about it before, during, and after having the baby the baby blues still creep up on me. My husband is great, he's the Daddy who wakes up with me each time I need to feed the baby, to help with changing or preparing the bottles. He's an active participant in raising our child. However, I find my self barking at him for simple things like asking where the cereal is. Seriously, I was pissed because he asked me where I put cereal boxes. I'm tired of feeling like there is something always poking me on the shoulder. I definitely have my bipolar in check, and know these feelings are different (I'm very in tuned with my feelings)...I'm so exhausted I could sleep all day and I have a hard time explaining to my husband that my sleep time is like his work-out time...I need it to function. For that I feel guilty, like I'm a lazy slob----because he doesn't seem to understand. I appreciate all that he does, but no matter how much I tell him, all my praises are shadowed by my cranky moods. I have a scheduled appointment with my psychiatrist, and I definitely need to discuss these feelings with him. I'm not only dealing with the moods, but coming to grips with my new body. I feel like a scattered puzzle that's needing help getting put back together...I know it will happen, I'm just becoming inpatient...

CYNTHIASUN77 |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

I gave birth 4 weeks ago and my husband had always kept a close eye on me and always told me if he had noticed a change in which he did within the first couple of days he told me that I was always giving the look like he or someone else was stealing my baby and more so lightly asking for my baby back. I am not liking the feelings of worthlessness and more so with the not satisfied with myself and thinking my body after pregnancy is ugly. I am constantly feeling as if EVERYTHING is my fault and my husband assures me that its not but I have a hard time believing it. I do believe that I could be suffering from Postpartum Depression or the baby blues but I have also heard that the baby blues can be delayed in some cases. My husband is very supportive but half the time I don't want to talk to anyone about it and would rather hide it and deal with it on my own. I know this will change and will eventually go away but to me its like when..... The /ad part is that this is my second child with my first born 07/11/2009 and my second born 06/07/2011. I did have the baby blues with my first but it went away within 3 weeks.

Leralee2011 |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

I felt this way too. No one told me about postpartum. The entire time I was pregnant I felt wonderful. I just thought I would be nothing but happy when my baby got here. I was very happy but at times would become extremely anxious. My baby lost a whole pound when he left the hospital and continued to lose weight afterward and he was also jaundice. It took 3 weeks for him to get back to his birthweight. I was so worried that he wouldn't gain weight. Looking back now I realize I was completely overwhelmed and that being combined with being a first time mother & no sleep caused me to become depressed. I lost any appetite I once had, didn't care about my appearance and cried at the drop of a hat. I was completely overwhelmed and thats when I started to ask for help. Grandparents, aunts & other siblings would come over to help out even if it was just to get a nap. And when I became sleep deprived, my husband would make me sleep in the guest room while he would get up with the baby that whole night, giving me a full night's rest. The best thing you can do is ask questions. Ask other mothers if they went through this and definately tell your doctor. My doctore prescribed me an antidepressant but I was unable to take it due to an allergic reaction. My doctor explained that I had a perfect pregnancy with no complications and it was like my body had been on a "high" for 9 months. When the baby is born, there is a huge drop in hormones and your body has to naturally balance those hormones. He told me this may take from 6 weeks to 6 months to regular and get back to normal. Its been 7 weeks and I feel much better now.

tkt62610 |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

i gave birth to our beautiful son a week and a half ago. Since coming home from the hospital my husband and I have been fighting constantly, hashing out all the things we feel taken granted for and all the pressures we put on eachother as new parents. Sometimes it seems to get better, often it seems to get worse. I've asked him to go to counseling so we can share our concerns and feelings without the conversation turning harmful, but we cant afford it. I feel guilty for letting our newborn hear the fighting. I want to raise our boy in a healthy, safe and comforting home. My husband and I always had that and I see a future family with that but I don't know how to get through this fighting to that point of security. The fighting and my husbands overwhelming work schedule are giving me the baby blues. Also, being unemployed and unable to contribute to the family income makes me feel less valuable. I have to remind myself that I am doing an equally important job raising our newborn. I also remind myself of the way hubby and I were before pregnancy, a strong, intimate and in-tune couple. I look forward to the time we feel that again and the month I can go back to work to help financially. I love him and I love our son, I cant focus on the negatives right now but I need help finding a solution.

TessVining |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

I was happy when I found out I was pregnant til I was told it was a boy then I didn't enjoy pregnancy anymore. I resented hubby and hated being tired big, etc. I had my son 3months ago and didn't feel the "I'm so in love with my baby" feeling that everyone else got. I dreaded being a mom. I get angry when he cries when he's fussy he won't sleep at night right now. Hubby doesn't like me telling him how I feel because "I'm complaining" he and I been fighting over bills money have talked about divorce when we're really angry. I don't feel closer to him. Subconsciously I dont want him around anymore like I don't even want to be married nor be a mom. It's too much for me. He stayed home first 2months now is back at work. Helped a lot then now only seems to help some at night and weekends. Haven't gone to psychiatrist. Been there done that and they only want to give you meds! Been there too with depression and weening off is hard!! I'm due to go back to work end of Sept after 16weeks off and dread that!! His mom is due to come for a month to help but dread that too!! Hubby knows all this but again is "tired of hearing negative stuff"

magc01 |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

I'm 5 weeks in and i went to my doctors because of some concerns this week and she asked me if i was having the blues because it was in my face. I have been crying for no reasons on some days and other days it’s just to much. My boyfriend is there in the evening but i feel alone because i am with my daughter daily and i do more hours than he does. I honestly feel jealous when he goes to work because in a sense he gets some "free time". I talked to him about it a few days ago and he said i needed to talk to someone, a professional about it. That made me feel worst because i wanted him to make the situation better. So now i feel even more alone and i worry now that it will turn from blues to depression. :(

nakiacdurant |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

I had my little boy 7 weeks ago and about 2weeks ago is when I finally accepted and understood what I was feeling. Basically all of the above after a csection I don't have that I love my baby feeling. I cry at a drop of a hat even while reading the above posts it brought me to tears. I know I'm not alone but I can't help that feeling that I am. I'm very irritable grouchy and annoyed with everything and anything. Most of all I feel lonely even though my husband is right there with me it's not enough, nothing he does is enough so I snap at him or I hold it in and lock myself in the room with the baby. I finally snapped last night when I shoved the paci into my baby's mouth and told him to shut up that's it I completely lost it and this morning I made my appointment with my Doctor I can't continue like this.

evechelo |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

I am also suffering from feelings of depression. I thought I was just going thru the baby blues but I am starting to think that I am suffering from postpartum depression. I have some family issues going on right now that have been going on for months. I am also having marriage issues. My husband has always had anxiety and he worries about everything and takes it out on me...I thought that once we had our son he would calm down. That didn't happen and he is stressed even more and we fight a lot and I've even said that I wanted to leave him...it doesn't really help me. Some days I'm fine and happen and others I am frustrated and angry. Some days I just want to cry. I can't talk to my husband about it, he just yells at me. I feel so alone...he was great for a couple of days when we came home and he was very supportive and affectionate. But then everything changed after that. He takes care of the baby at night so I can sleep and then I take over in the morning. I am with the baby for the rest of the day while he does house work. I get so frustrated because I dont get any time for myself. I feel gulilty for feeling this way because I know I shouldn't. I love my son more than anything, but sometimes I resent him because I can't do anything.

aubh |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

my son is 11 weeks old and I still feel depressed. my bf works nights shift and goes to school full time in the morning and sleeps during the day. I feel so alone and isolated. Its not fair that I cant enjoy my baby because Iam so emotionally exhausted from being with the baby by myself all day every day. I feel terrible because i get so frustrated when he cries and lately it seems like that is all he does. i just wanna hide, i have cried for 3 days straight. I just want to be a wonderful happy mother to my son, it seems like that is never gonna happen. i resent my bf for making me do this by myself while he goes to school, he thinks its so easy to take care of a baby 24-7. i dont want to take meds for ppd and i thought i could get over this myself but iam starting to think i never will.

staceys1983 |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

My son was born 2 weeks ago via c-section and I was lucky enough to have my mom come up and stay at our home to take care of our dog and clean and cook while we stayed at the hospital 3 days, she also stayed 2 days after I was home to help with everything. The day after she left I was re-admitted to the hospital for an infection and thank God my husband and son were both able to stay with me for another 3 day hospital stay. Now i am home and feeling much better but since I was in the hospital so long my husband is already back to work with a very busy schedule and my family has all gone home. I had planned on having more support at home with the baby, but now I find myself alone and learning to me a mom. my husband is wonderful (and thankfully a family and marriage therapist as well) and tries to help whenever he is home but I honestly just want my mom back. I thought having my baby home would be more joyful and that I would love just being home with my son, but I just feel down.

bluejeanbaby1217 |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

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kittu |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

The first few weeks I feel like it is impossible NOT to feel some sort of "blues," especially if you are a first time mom. No one can prepare you for what motherhood brings, and the fact that your entire world CHANGES and you have a lot less time to do all the things you were used to doing without any thought before can make anyone feel a little depressed. Then you realize that this new baby is just that- new- and you are not going back to what you used to be- well, ever (to a certain degree). This is overwhelming. But I think the "blues" is when you first realize this, combined with the stress of having a newborn that you sometimes have no clue what to do with, combined with cabin fever of being stuck in your house, combined with NO SLEEP, and sometimes anger toward your partner who may have gone back to work and makes you feel like you are doing this all yourself (and therefore a little resentful). There comes a point however when you and your newborn have actually gotten to know each other (for me that was about 4 weeks) and you are seriously feeling that bond (because for me and some others it isn't that "instant" feeling) and your newborn sleeps more than 2 hours in a row without waking up one night (yay!) and you slowly start getting over it. You learn to share responsibilities with your partner even if they are only present a couple hours a day. This is the "blues." I have many friends who are totally self-negligent and miserable still many weeks after having a baby and haven't figured out a routine or a way to manage. This is when you should seek help! If you don't find yourself bouncing back and notice other people even worrying about you- get help, it is not worth it being miserable when you don't have to be. Good luck everyone!

*inlovey* |

baby-blues-or-depression

I don't usually post but felt compelled to say thank you to "unlovely" for this post below. My baby is 3wo & I have been feeling exactly every single feeling you described...and feeling super guilty about it. Your post made me realize that these feelings are normal and I'm not a terrible mom for missing certain aspects of my "old life" and for giving me hope that it starts to get better soon. Since reading this I feel already better and when I feel blue I plan to go back to this thread and re-read bc it's helpful to know you're not alone :). Thank you!!

Grechelle |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

I have to say, it's been really helpful to read all these posts. My daughter is a week and a half old and I've been so overwhelmed. I was very worried that it was postpartum depression but now I think it is more of baby blues. Each day has gotten better and better. I think we are starting to understand each other more and more. I'm getting used to her cries and sleep deprivation. I had a lot of aniexty about everything but I'm learning to take it easy and just breath. I'm trying my best not to get worked up and just enjoy my little munchkin! I think I had these expectations that her and I would bond immediately and everything would be roses and butterflies. I ignored the sections in the books about baby blues and PPD because I thought that it couldn't be me. Well I was wrong. It is getting better, talking to my husband about this and my mom has helped tremendously. If these feelings of aniexty continue I will talk to my doctor but it is nice to know that lots of other moms are having the same feelings I do.

Cosk10 |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

I suffered from depression with my first son. I would cry when I woud shower, when I fed him. I had a hard time. My ex husband was supporive at firxt but then changed and i was left alone to care for my son. I now have a 2 week old girl who I love and have felt sad again. This time is diffrent. I dont feel as i did before. This time is less intense. Everyday gets better expecially when i talk about it with my mom and husband.

grishen07 |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

I've been discouraged before so I conversed with my spouse prior and then afterward I conceived an offspring (which was 3 weeks back) and solicited from him to bail me keep an eye out getting discouraged. I have been yelling over easily overlooked details and he continues wiretapping me and Fetele Norocoase converses with me about it. It assists a considerable measure. I imagine that may be the one thing that keeps the child soul from transforming into correct discouragement. For me it feels exceptionally peculiar not being pregnant anymore. I didn't get a charge out of pregnancy a lot however that is the thing that I was for just about 10 months. Notwithstanding I'm definitely not. It's sort of a forlorn feeling.

JonahClint |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

I have a 3 week old and felt great the first few weeks and was so happy and proud to be a mom, but now that my husband has gone back to work I'm feeling overwhelmed and starting to have symptoms of baby blues. I have had issues with depression in the past and am trying to fight it but it's not easy I love my daughter and just can't help but want to cry and sleep all day.

JennAngel |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

After reading some of these posts, i feel a sense of relief because i thought i wasnt normal. My daughter is 1 month old and i dont feel any bond to her, like i could disappear and she would never know the difference. She doesnt even know who i am, She cries the most when i hold her and gets quiet when my husband or sister-in-law hold her. i just want to run away and forget this part of my life and i feel like a bad person for wanting that. I suffered from these depressing thoughts throughout my pregnancy too and everyone in my life made me feel so guilty that i was being selfish because i wanted my old free-spirited life back.

ghores13 |

Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

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Q&A: Baby blues or depression?

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What's the Difference Between Baby Blues and Depression?

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What's the Difference Between Baby Blues and Depression?

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