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Q&A: How can I learn to let go now that I have a nanny?

I'm just starting back at work, and am leaving my baby at home with a nanny. It's so hard for me to watch the nanny with my daughter, because I feel like she's not doing things exactly how I do. I keep wanting to correct her, and I don't want to micromanage her... but I can't help it! And then I start to worry about what's going on while I'm away. (The nanny is great with my daughter and has wonderful references, so the problem isn't that I needs someone else.) How can I let go a little?

Re: I'm just starting back at work, and am leaving my baby at home with a nanny. It's so hard for me to watch the nanny with my daughter, because I feel like she's not doing things exactly how I do. I keep wanting to correct her, and I don't want to micromanage her... but I can't help it! And then I start to worry about what's going on while I'm away. (The nanny is great with my daughter and has wonderful references, so the problem isn't that I needs someone else.) How can I let go a little?

The Bump Expert

When I work with a working mom we put together a childcare booklet as well as an extremely detailed schedule of how the nanny will care for the child. When working with various caregivers, the goal is to create consistency of care, both physically and emotionally, so the child has an easy transition regardless of who they are with. I find it helpful for mothers to make daily schedules, detailing the entire day, so that the nanny will know what to do with the child and have less room for error. Most nannies find this very helpful. I also believe weekly and monthly schedules are helpful, especially if there are activities involved.

On the emotional end, it is also important to tell your nanny what your child does and does not like. For example, 'she likes to be held this way,' or 'when she hurts herself she likes to be sung a song.' Any piece of information, large or small, will help your nanny mimic your parenting style. I also have my clients use a daily log where the nanny can detail the day's events. This lets you see everything that happened (feedings, diapers, crying episodes, medications) while you were at work, and can help you feel more aware and connected.

After implementing these schedules and logs, speak openly with your nanny and explain your feelings. Tell her that you don't want to micromanage, but rather to arm her with as much information as possible so that she'll have a smooth transition into her job. After this conversation, take a step back and let your nanny get used to her new job and new environment. Remember to also trust yourself -- you hired this nanny, and she came well-recommended. Even if your nanny were superwoman, it would still take some time to get used to the concept of someone else caring for your child!

Tammy Gold

Q&A: How can I learn to let go now that I have a nanny?

Is never easy and I can tell you that the situation won't become easier. I have a rn to bsn diploma and I am dealing every day with parents and children. Sometimes they can be very difficult. As a parent is in your nature to tell somebody else how to behave with your child. I advice to tell her that you don't have bad intentions and not to be upset when you correct her.

marta8080 |

Q&A: How can I learn to let go now that I have a nanny?

Is never easy and I can tell you that the situation won't become easier. I have a rn to bsn diploma and I am dealing every day with parents and children. Sometimes they can be very difficult. As a parent is in your nature to tell somebody else how to behave with your child. I advice to tell her that you don't have bad intentions and not to be upset when you correct her.

marta8080 |

Q&A: How can I learn to let go now that I have a nanny?

The answers are all good, but if you still have questions I suggest you to take one of our rn-bsn online programs. The program is online and does not take much time to do it. You will see your problem different and from another perspective. You will understand why people reacts so, including you, and maybe you will indulgent with the nanny.

delaco32 |

Q&A: How can I learn to let go now that I have a nanny?

I understand your concern and I want to tell you that I've had some doubts. I'm a person who's against anything that's preventing homeschooling and I gave our nanny some tasks that will help my son to understand the words later. Still, I'm not quite comfortable to know that I'm not the one who's doing that.

TawnyCollyn |

Q&A: How can I learn to let go now that I have a nanny?

Taking care of a baby doesn't require a whole deal of technology. Pardon my comparison, but it's like making food, if you're used to doing things your way in the kitchen, then you will surely not stand someone doing other things while in there, even if they're doing a good job. Trust that the nanny knows what she's doing and learn to relax a little bit. Good luck!

LindsaySkye |

Q&A: How can I learn to let go now that I have a nanny?

This it's a difficult decision, but it's justified only if you have more time. Now I have to learn for a master in industrial psychology and I can't let go of the nanny. Later I would consider it, because what you said is the right thing to do.

LenBrannon |

Q&A: How can I learn to let go now that I have a nanny?

I'm a nanny when I don't learn for my online program and I can tell you that one good way of feeling like yours is doing things right is to tell her exactly what you have been doing with the baby. After all, calming him faster is better for all of us, isn't it? You should explain in detail how you hold him and all the other things that matter.

CheyanneEdith |

Q&A: How can I learn to let go now that I have a nanny?

If you want your nanny to succeed in the workplace, you must tell her everything you do when you're with your toddler, so the change won't be so radical for him. Just to be sure, install a webcam to see what she does when you're away. It's not the fairest solution of them all, but at least you'll feel safer.

Noe Samuhel |

Q&A: How can I learn to let go now that I have a nanny?

This is a tough task, you're mature enough to realize that a nanny will never replace you. My wife was forced to neglect our daughter's education a little when she wanted to have two masters degrees. At the start of the classes she nearly suffered a comedown. I tried to explain that she will always be a good mother.

tylardean |

Q&A: How can I learn to let go now that I have a nanny?

Before pursuing another occupation besides raising your child, you should seriously think if you want to be apart from him. If you do, then make sure it's not for a long time, because he needs his parents in his development. What does the father do, can't he help you, at least a bit?

KumaraKama |

Q&A: How can I learn to let go now that I have a nanny?

Being a parent will never become easier. My sister has two kids and raising them by herself was exhausting. After a couple of years he wanted a business, but he didn't have time for family anymore and she realized that he had to choose between a career or staying with the kids. There are many great moments in being a full-norm parent, but not everyone is prepared for this.

tylardean |

Q&A: How can I learn to let go now that I have a nanny?

A nanny is very useful when you haven't finished your education or you might just want another specialization. I learned a lot for an mba degree online and I couldn't have made it without help. My wife was at the work most of the day and I had to learn. Now we both have a light schedule and we can take care of our child.

RonAbner56 |

Q&A: How can I learn to let go now that I have a nanny?

I had to learn to let go as well and I think all mothers had to. Luckily I have a human resources degree and I managed to pick a very good nanny for my daughter. I am not saying that other nannies are not good but I think I chose the best one for my kid.

EmmsGrey |

Q&A: How can I learn to let go now that I have a nanny?

I recently watched an episode of "How I met your mother" and a couple from the series have a baby and don't know how to let go. It is not easy but you will need to go out with friends or by yourselves and you don't want to stand out in a crowd. The first few times will be harder but then you will get use to it.

ShakiaCallo |