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Baby Care Basics:
5 Must-Know Tips for That First Week Home

1. Baby wipes
Most docs recommend avoiding premoistened diaper wipes for the first month of baby's life since some of their chemicals can irritate a newborn's tender skin. Instead, use cotton balls dipped in warm water. When baby’s ready for regular wipes, choose ones that are alcohol-free and unscented to prevent irritation.

2. Bath time
Until baby’s umbilical cord is off and healed, baby can only take sponge baths. Start by soaking your baby a little. Make sure to always keep one hand on baby, and remember that infants are especially slippery when wet. Start with his face–one area at a time since covering the whole face with a washcloth can be scary -- and work your way down. Make sure to thoroughly wash inside all the folds (under the arms, in the neck, the genital area, etc.) and save baby’s dirtiest parts -- aka the diaper area -- for last. Then, move back up and wash baby’s hair. And note: There’s no need to bathe more than every few days.

3. Newborn skin
At birth, baby's skin will probably appear to be dry. How come? It’s in the process of peeling off an entire waterproof layer of sorts. But in general, a baby's skin doesn’t need much specialized care -- just lots of TLC. A mild cleanser is safe, though many people recommend just plain water. Your baby's face takes a lot of abuse (just think of all that spitting!), so do your best to keep it clean. But if baby's skin seems excessively dry, irritated or itchy, or if you notice a rash or breakout, consult your pediatrician ASAP.

4. The umbilical cord get sucked into registering for cute toys or outfits Umbilical cord care has changed dramatically over the last 20 years; now, many hospitals recommend doing nothing but keeping the cord dry (read: sponge baths only). But some pediatricians still recommend using alcohol on the cord with each diaper change to speed up the healing process. That way you’ll be able to give your baby real baths, as opposed to sponge baths, sooner. So find out what your doctor recommends.

5. Fingernails and toenails
The safest way to keep a newborn’s nails short is to just file them and not cut them at all. Since the skin of the fingers is usually attached to the back of the nail, cutting the nails often results in nipping the fingertip too (ouch!). Even though the bleeding is minor and can be stopped quickly with a little pressure, it's very upsetting to the parent -- and always seems like a lot more blood than it really is! Once baby is a little older (18 months), you can cut their nails while they’re asleep.

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you asked...

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Should I really let my baby cry it out?

Re: Should I really let my baby cry it out?

The Bump Expert

If there were a simple answer to that question, bookstore shelves wouldn't be packed with advice guides on the subject! A two-second summary of the issue: Proponents of the “Cry it Out” method (sometimes called “Ferberizing” after creator Dr. Richard Ferber) say that suffering through a few nights of listening to your little one wailing is essential to helping her develop good sleep habits. Opponents of this philosophy say that it’s cruel to let a baby cry in the dark.

Our advice: Do what feels right for you and your husband, but know that very rare is the baby who learns to sleep through the night without shedding some tears (and usually a few blood-curdlingscreams). So if you’re at your wits’ end with night wakings, some sleep training might be a good idea. Before you decide to Ferberize, discuss it at length with your mate. Sleep training will only work if you’re both on board.

Paula Kashtan | May 07 , 2009 1:34 PM

re: Q: Cry It Out?

I have had good luck with a book called the "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. The techniques take a little longer to work than the "cry-it-out" method but they are just as effective and less tramautizing for the baby.

winbd | July 05 , 2007 10:36 AM

re: Q: Cry It Out?

I highly suggest the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." Since putting the author's suggestions and tips into practice, my 4-month-old sleeps through the night most nights (if he wakes, it is just once and he goes right back to sleep after nursing) and goes down for his naps really well. He is predictable now and we got to this point with very little tears (from baby and mom). The author gives different strategies that work for different babies at different ages. The key is that not one strategy will work with all babies!

CarolinaKatie | December 26 , 2007 7:52 PM

re: Q: Cry It Out?

We just did a sleep training with our 6 month old. We read about all different types of training and decided that we would do our own method (based on Ferber). I think it is important to choose one and stick with it for at least 2 weeks. Our son is sleeping some days from 6pm-2am (then we feed him) and wakes around 630. Other nights he has slept from 630pm-5 am. So it's just patience...Good luck!

dija2027 | January 02 , 2008 2:39 PM

re: Q: Cry It Out?

This is the first day of trying to let our son cry to get him to go to sleep. This is at the suggestion of our pediatrician. I thought he was too young since he is only six weeks old. He is telling me that it is never too early. It kills me to listen to him cry.

sarahb25 | February 04 , 2008 4:50 PM

re: Q: Cry It Out?

six weeks are you crazy!!! my pediatrician says no early then 4 months and if possible six, so does all the latest baby knowledge and research, until 4 months they are learning that you make them safe and comforted that you will always be there to take care of them and protect them! I am not even attempting to let my baby cry it out till he is 6 months old!

xXEgerBunnyXx | February 07 , 2008 9:05 PM

re: Q: Cry It Out?

I agree, 6 week old seems way too young to be left to cry....seek a second opinion....your baby barely knows you yet!

baby #2 on the way | May 02 , 2008 8:54 PM

Q: Cry It Out?

If every household had a "Happi Tummi" waistband, dads and moms would get some sleep. I cannot say enough about the success we had with the Happi Tummi. Try it! The product also let me bond better with our son.

caminhouse | May 14 , 2008 4:16 PM

re: Q: Cry it out?

please do not let your six week old cry it out!! Oh my Gosh!!!!! I could just cry at the thought of that poor thing crying for mama!! Please please seek a new Pediatrician, he/she gave you some incorrect advice, mama!

Hilarycee | June 06 , 2008 2:00 PM

re: Q: Cry it out?

Change pediatricians!! Go to your 6 week old! This is when they are learning that to trust that you will be their when they need you.

MommaCassie | July 03 , 2008 1:36 PM

re: Q: Cry it out?

I agree with all the other posts, six weeks is far too young to let them cry it out. Pediatricians are experts in medicine, but not at night time parenting, all they have is their own experience and that is subjective. I am firmly against letting my daughter cry it out, because this teaches her not to trust her caregiver to respond to her needs. I recommend Dr. Sears The Baby Book, chapter on nighttime parenting. Our daughter sleeps practically through the night, sometimes waking once or twice.

Nora Borealis | July 07 , 2008 1:08 PM

re: Q: Cry it out?

WOW!, I do believe that is very terrible. Please do not allow your newborn to "cry it out". My baby is a lil over 6 mths old and I just began a bedtime routine.

bklynrose4ya | August 13 , 2008 4:34 AM

re: Q: Cry it out?

Has anyone ever read any of the facts about letting a baby "cry it out"?? It can have extremely detrimental effects on them as they grow into adulthood!! I for one am very against letting a baby CIO and I will never let my DD do this, regardless of her age. There are times, when she is older, that she will cry to try and manipulate, but any smart parent will know the difference between that and real cries. A 6 week old is far, far too young to let cry - any baby shouldn't be left to cry it out because this is the only way they can communicate with a parent/caregiver - they can't tell you in words what is wrong, so it's your job to go to them and figure out what is wrong, not to let them cry until they fall asleep, unanswered, unattended to, and feeling like their needs are not being taken seriously. Baby cries for mama for SOME reason - so mama (or papa or caregiver) needs to figure out what it is.Read this: http://www.sleepnet.com/infant3/messages/534.html

jholtzman | September 17 , 2008 2:00 PM

re: Q: Cry it out?

like someone else wrote above, we have been told by our Dr. to not let our DS cry it out until after 6 months of age. Its not healthy for your babies development and teaches them that you aren't there for them when they need you.

Mrs.West07 | September 26 , 2008 8:40 PM

re: Q: Cry it out?

My daughter was a great sleeper from the get go and then began waking up almost every 2 hours after about week 5. I thought I was going to lose my mind! I started being more consistent with her bed time routine (bath, infant massage, a book if she doesn't begin to look sleepy and nursing) and now she sleeps wonderfully! She goes to sleep around 9:30 or 10 (I have tried to get her to go earlier, but no matter how sleepy she is she won't be out until those times) and generally sleeps til 4, nurses or takes a bottle, back in her bassinet until 7:30. Then we start our day with her big "Good morning, mommy!" smile. I am so glad we got here with no 'crying it out' nights, I don't think I could handle that. I just hope we can keep these nights as they are. She is only 12 weeks and it's been like this for about 5 weeks, but she's never been a co-sleeper, so that may help in the long run.

khail84 | November 15 , 2008 9:09 AM

re: Q: Cry it out?

I use the 5 minute rule. If my baby girl is still crying after 5 minutes, I pick her up. Most of the time she falls asleep before then.

allysonctrs | December 17 , 2008 10:50 AM

re: Q: Cry it out?

I don't see the point in letting a child cry it out. Our babies need us and it is our job as their parents to go to them when they are crying. Sorry but I knew when I became a parent that there would be a few sleepless nights

chris93078 | December 23 , 2008 2:57 PM

re: Q: Cry it out?

I can't believe a Doctor would say let your six week old cry it out! I , if I were you , would leave this Doctor immediately! A new baby that is what a 6 week old is is a NEW baby needs to know you are there. There has been a study that actual brain development is effected when babies are not attended to at early ages. It's called NEGLECT and your baby will pay the price!

keehnherring | April 13 , 2009 9:16 AM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Crying it out is not cruel, nor does it have long-term effects. A LOT of research has been done to support this. BUT, 6 weeks is way too young. They don't have the ability to self-soothe until after 4 months, and later if they had colic. Read the booh, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It by Dr Weissbluth who runs the Chicagp Sleep Disorder Institute and has over 30 years of sleep research. he suggests crying it out, and some ther methods if you can't cope with the crying, but NEVER until after 4 months old. Now, if they are older and you go to them for every cry it becomes a learned habit and trait. We did sleep training with our son at about 18 weeks and at 19 weeks he started sleeping 12 hours at night, never fights me for a nap, and is a VERY happy, well-adjusted child. Crying out out isn't cruel when it is done at the right age. Every person and child in life has to learn to self-soothe. Think of it this way, you wouldn't want to rush in and cuddle your 2 year old for every tantrum they threw. They have to learn to cope with things and entertain and soothe themselves, just not at 6 weeks of age. That young, you can't spoil them!

autumnhuddleston | September 24 , 2009 4:08 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

You are right, I wouldn't want to encourage my 2 year old when thy are throwing a tantrum!...But in that case it's obvious that it's a tantrum!!!! A 4 month old doesn't throw tantrums! If they cry, it's for a REASON, and that reason deserves being answered!!!! I believe that a baby only has one way to communicate, and that's through crying. I think it's disrespectful, selfish, and careless to ignore that one and only form of communication! By answering their cries the first time, every time, we build a lasting foundation of trust, love, and security! CIO IS wrong! at any age!! and there is a "LOT" of research that proves this! My son is 7 months old, and we have never let him CIO even once! He is one of the happiest babies I've ever met! (and everyone who has met him would say the same!) He only cries when he needs something! (like to eat, have his diaper changed, sleep etc) Every once in a while that something is just snuggles though, and I think that's perfectly normal, and acceptable! In regards to the "sleeping through the night" comments- This is one of the greatest misconceptions being taught today! It is not "normal" for babies to sleep through the night, prier to being started on solids (approximately 6months or later, when their digestive tracts are fully developed). In fact, this could be detrimental to BFing babies and their Mama's if forced when not ready, due to the fact that BM is digested in about 20 min! That's not enough to sustain them through the night! So as the result of a misconception, babies aren't gaining well, and mama's isn't being stimulated to produce adequately, so her milk production decreases, which leads to supplementation with formula, and it's a steep spiral downward from there! We need to get over the fact that babies DO require 24 hour care, and it's our responsibility to give it to them out of love! It's our job as a parent!

BirthDoula2B | October 13 , 2009 8:35 AM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I honestly thought that I would NEVER let my baby cry it out. But, it got to a point where he was waking up at 1:30 in the morning, and would not go back to sleep unless I held him for the rest of the night! So, on a spur of the moment in the middle of the night, I decided to let him cry it out. The first night wasn't so bad...it lasted about an hour. The second night was worse, lasting for about 1 1/2 hours. But, every night after that, it was less and less, and after 5 nights he slept through the night, and every night since then, he has slept through the night! He wakes up now and is way more happy than he was, and he has progressed quickly and is picking up new things every day! He is a MUCH happier baby.

coffey21 | October 28 , 2009 8:20 AM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

My baby is 7 months old. She will not go in the crib awake. When she is put in deep asleep and awakes, she screams. I tried putting her in awake and she ended up throwing up all over. How can I get her in there; I don't want her to cry it out as she goes from crying to screaming to whaling, to kicking to throwing up all within 3 minutes.

Lotusrising | November 09 , 2009 6:13 AM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

My babay is almost 7 months old and from about 5months old I decided to let her cry it out first for her morning nap it lasted 1/2 hr befor she fell asleep then her afternoon nap it lasted 10min then bed time she went down with out a fuss. She was great and going down no problem for about a week and a half then she started teething!!! There is a difference in her cry when she is in pain or uncofortable to when she is just acting up and wants me to go in to her, She also sometimes gets herself so worked up that she vomits some times but i just go clean up give her a drink and put her back to bed, she normally will go off the 2nd time. her routine changes all the time with growth spurts and teething I just go with the flow and do what feels right.

gonnabamum | May 04 , 2010 7:58 AM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Our beautiful little girl has cried every night from about 8-10pm or later since she was born in Jan. We tried the crying method for a week and then just stopped at 5 and again at 6 month. We had to step in so many times since she cried 2 hours. (that's our limit). She is now seven months and its hit or miss every day - Some nights she goes down at 8pm and other at 1am. My wife has read every book and we hired a sleep consultant who told us she would have her sleeping in 3 days - ha.. my daughter gave her a run for "our" money. Anyway I tired my own new routine last night - Keeping the lights on and its seemed to calm her down and work.. 30 minutes. My wife has her on a great routine. The way I look at it is that the nights I get home late from work i get to rock my little girl and hold her for 1-2 hours until she is asleep.

bmw540i6 | August 21 , 2010 3:02 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

CIO is Cruel and does have lasting effects and there are many studies, even in recent news that prove it. Crying is stressful and raises cortizol levels and changes how the brain works. Babies are not trained to go to sleep happily, they are trained that they will not be responded to and that there parents don't care. They are also trained to know that sleep is not a positive thing or a safe thing and often have nightmares and night terrors. Stop making children cry themselves to sleep. it is unnatural and harmful and it is very selfish.

paxye | August 26 , 2010 7:26 AM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

You need to do what is right for you. It is perfectly ok to let your baby cry it out when they are about 4-5months. They learn that you are there to comfort them in their first few months and that bond you have established is not going to disappear because they cry themselves to sleep at night. I nurse my 7 month old and he began sleeping through the night at 4 months on his own, however at the time we were swaddling him and giving him a pacifier, rocking him to sleep, etc. After a few months, the routine got more and more complicated to get him to sleep at night. Finally a moment of realization came over me and I realized that we had created a baby who was completely dependent on this stuff to go to sleep. You should put your baby to BED, he should put himself to SLEEP. The first time I let him cry it out he was 5 months old - it lasted 15 excruciating minutes where I was very upset. However since then, his sleep habits have gotten much better. I take him with me to my summer camp often for overnights, so he needs to be flexible. We keep it simple. A white noise machine is on in his room. We change him and dress him in pjs, I nurse him and read him a book, then he is kissed goodnight, we say I love you and give his lovey (a tiny puppy). He hugs the lovey and wines or cries some nights for 5-10 minutes. Some nights he doesn't cry at all. it took a little while to get to this point, but it is worth it for him and me. I still nurse him - sleeping through the night does NOT effect nursing, I still produce plenty of milk for him, he's a great eater and has grown appropriately since birth. He's a very happy baby and I think him getting a full night sleep is part of that. He has also become easier t put down for naps. Do what feels right to you - you'll know and if crying it out is hard for you - try doing something while he cries, to keep yourself busy. As long as you know he is safe, fed, and clean - your baby is fine.

lildot522 | September 05 , 2010 4:30 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

absolutely, the sooner the better! Especially do it before they realize they can manipulate you with the crying, so anytime after 2 weeks worked for me and I used the Babywise book on both of my kids and both were sleeping through the night by 8 weeks and sleeping consistantly 11-12 hours a night by 12 weeks.

amyjor1 | September 07 , 2010 11:04 AM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

My husband and I tried a modified CIO (let him CIO only when he woke up during the night). It took us 7 looooong days! It has now been 37 days since our lil one has been sleeping on his own. He may have one or two night wakings a week, for 5-10 mins or less. He sleeps between 8.5 - 9 hours a night. My husband and I really struggled with the entire process. I cried for the first three nights and felt like someone was ripping my insides out. I can say that since the initial process begun, we all have had a great nights rest. The lil one is still very happy and still loves his parents. Make sure the time is right and stick to it.

millbritt | September 28 , 2010 2:23 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I keep reading and hearing 6 months but at 6 months our daughter was just not ready... I don't know if this was because she was about a month early or what but I think the biggest thing was I was not ready as a mommy.... her sleeping was getting so bad that she would not sleep without nursing all night and sleeping between my husband and I and a few days after she turned 7 months and I had to get up one morning with hardly any sleep and found myself getting irranted and feeling like I was going to lose my cool because I was so tired and not happy with her sleeping that I said that is it time for her to move into her own room.... so I did it with the nap times and thank goodness I did because she scared the whole time but when bedtime came around she was asleep in 10 min and woke up 2 times that first night the 2nd night she woke once and slept 13 hours... a week later she fells asleep most times within 2-30 min ( I also noticed with my daughter that I couldn't go back in the room to comfort her it just made things worse so pay close attention to your little one and how they responed) my advise is to make sure your ready first of all and then give it a try YOU WILL KNOW if your little one needs alittle more time GOOD LUCK!

anicolem@hotmail.com | November 10 , 2010 2:52 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I do not agree with letting a baby of any age "cry it out" Babies cry for a reason. My baby started sleeping through they night around 5 months old and we never let him cry it out. And I thought my baby was never going to sleep through the night. They will start sleeping through the night on their own. My best advice for parents is just stick with a bedtime routine and comfort your baby through the night when they cry for you. I just can't imagine what a poor baby is going through when they are crying and scared and no one will come to them. You have to remember that their fears and separation anxiety are very real to them. I know it's hard but I would rather lose sleep rocking my child to all night then to ever let him cry himself to sleep.

vfuller09 | November 10 , 2010 5:51 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I agree with the cry it out. Yes babies cry for a reason, my daughter cries because I am leaving the room and she feels she needs to be around me all the time. Not happening! If my daughter is full and tired but refusing to sleep, she absolutely goes to bed and I let her cry. 20 to 30 minutes is our max, but honestly in the month since we started it (she was 6 months at the time) we have never had to go get her. After missing church for the last three weeks because she would be up all night after a "nap" I let her cry it out in the middle of the night and she was just fine. She has started to get back into her original pattern of sleeping all night and napping for most of the morning (awesome!). She is still an extraordinarily happy child. Since then, I have heard her cooing to herself multiple times around four or five and then goes back to sleep. She never did that before we tried CIO. My parents did it for all three of us kids and we are some of the most well adjusted people you'll ever meet.

slpasma | November 19 , 2010 10:13 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Why is it so bad when your baby wants to be with you? Do we get tired as parents? Absolutely! But we only get one shot at being their parents. When they are screaming and crying for us, we need to help them. I try not to judge other opinions on this board but I'm horrified by how long some of us are leaving our infants in obvious distress to tough it out alone. They act like babies because they are babies! Where else in the world or in nature do parents set their babies down crying and walk away? Babies are meant to be with their parents and loving caregivers. We have completely twisted nature's way because it seems more convenient when in reality a happy, healthy, cared for baby is much easier than a screaming baby in the next room. Keep asking questions if your baby has unexplained crying and don't believe that "babies just cry".

CNelson | December 26 , 2010 4:53 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

All for it. For the six week old, that's fine. I started doing this method with my son around then. He's now about 7 months old and sleeps from 5pm to 530 am, and the catch is hes been doing so since he was about 4 months old... Between 6 weeks and 12 weeks he went to sleep at 5 and woke up at 1230 to eat and then it was back to bed right away.

bujacich22 | January 23 , 2011 9:12 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

sarahb25 please don't do that to a 6 week old. not even people that recommend the method recommend it before 4 months! A baby with less then 3 months doesn`t suffer from separation anxiety or could be spoiled. He is crying because he is probably hungry, wet or in pain! I recommend you reading the happiest baby on the block.

lugaf | January 30 , 2011 6:48 AM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

That is nuts...letting a 6 week old CIO!!! They are NEWBORNS and don't know what is going on. You need to change Pediatricians. My Pediatrician said if you're going to do it all do it at 6 months. We couldn't do it. We did a modified version. Checked on him aqt 3 minutes and then 5 and we never let him cry more than 5 minutes. I try no to judge. But, really, why did you have a baby to let the baby cry it out...especially at 6 weeks old! That is directed to the other posts that let their 6 week olds CIO.

rabumb1 | February 10 , 2011 11:52 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I agree that 6 weeks is WAAAAY too young to let a little one cry it out... My daughter was colicky and it was very difficult on us a parents but we never left her to cry like that. It's cruel. That said, I'm not completely against the CIO method for older babies. I think that each person has to do what seems best for their baby. No two babies are alike and what works for one, may not work for another. Our DD is almost 7 mos old and I am trying to get her to take naps in her crib. I will put her down in her crib while she's sleepy but still awake and if she cries, I go in within 5 mins and comfort her, put the paci back in her mouth and leave. She will usually fall asleep after that. If not, we repeat it. We are taking it day by day but for us, I just don't think I can justify letting my baby scream for hours at a time in the next room.

JenniT1023 | March 14 , 2011 11:29 AM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

@SarahB25 It makes me sick to think you would let your 6 week old cry it out! Please, don't ever go back to that doctor! That is unbelievable!

goboston7 | March 25 , 2011 2:19 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I agree with the posts that allowing a 6wk old to CIO is way to early, and to seek a new pediatrician. Your baby is getting to know you and learning to trust you at this age, and does not have the mental or physical capacity to soothe him or herself to sleep yet. Our pediatrician's office gives clients literature at well baby check ups with their advice on eating, sleeping, playing, etc, for different age groups, and it suggests rocking and comforting babies to sleep until are 4-6mos old. It also suggests the method of, at that around 6mos, to establish a bedtime/naptime routine, giving them a transitional object (such as a cuddly) and putting them down, saying I love you, and leaving the room. Check after 5min by reasureing her with a gentle touch and I love you but not picking her up, and continue every 5 until you feel is comfortable. We're in the process of getting our 7mo old to sleep on her own, cause she started to fight the rocking to sleep. Sometimes she goes down easy, sometimes we need to reasure her 1 or 2 times, and sometimes we just have to throw that out the window and pick her up. Her type of cry indicates if she might eventually go to sleep (on her own) or not. Sometimes it is heartwrenchinly difficult, and/or exhausting, and we're still working on it (2wks in now). Above all, pay attention to the cues such as pitch and type of cry (watch on a tv monitor if you have one for facial/body expressions) and trust your gut feeling!

katgyrl | March 29 , 2011 2:26 AM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I personally know a family who let their baby girl CIO from very early on, she now doesn't cry AT ALL, which is NOT normal. She would rather soothe herself than have someone love on her and rock her. The CIO method is detrimental because the child learns that their only way of communicating is ineffective. When a baby cries ( I understand later on that children can cry to be manipulative, I'm talking little babies) they are using the only way they know to tell you (the person responsible for taking care of those needs) that they need something. This baby I spoke of earlier now refuses to have her face washed since she doesn't trust people. She also refuses to make eye contact with people and doesn't smile or gurgle. These are just some of the MANY things that this 8 1/2 month old isn't doing... You can't spoil a baby! =)

knittingirlie19 | March 29 , 2011 9:35 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Do what works best for you, your baby and family. If you decide to do the CIO method, make sure you and your partner are prepared. It is tough, but it WORKS!!! My husband and I were at our wits end. We had tried EVERYTHING else to try to get our baby to sleep. Her sleep patterns were getting worse, and she would barely nap. Finally around 7 1/2 months, we had had enough. I took her to the doctor to make sure she wasn't teething, no ear issues, etc. so that we knew she was JUST FINE... and we let her CIO. She cried for 2 1/2 hours the first night. Only 30 minutes the 2nd night and now a month later she may cry for 15 seconds if at all. We also let her CIO in the middle of the night too, although we weaned her off her middle of the night bottle so that took a few more days. If you are at your wits end, and sleep deprived, you need to bite the bullet. Yes, I knew there would be plenty of sleepless nights as a parent... doesn't mean it needs to be every night. It is a proven fact, we work better with some sleep under our belt. You want to be the best parent you can be, so you NEED sleep! All babies are different, but they all need love and comfort... and routine and a schedule. Trust your instincts! And don't let anyone make you feel bad about how you choose to parent your child.

Soon2bMrsJSM | April 10 , 2011 9:44 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Every body has their own way of parenting. And every baby is different. That bein said, in my opinion, I think letting your baby CIO for an hour and a half or 2 hours is ridiculous. If they have no reason to cry then they would stop after 15 minutes. After 2 hours they've just used all of their energy! They're babies & theyre human, come on, if you were just throwing a fit you'd give up waaaay before two hours. Maybe it's just because I wouldn't be able to bear my baby scream for that long... But, wow. And yea, 6 weeks is way too early. Common sense. They can barely use their eyes let alone manipulate.

cynhamilton | June 02 , 2011 1:29 AM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

my baby is 4 weeks old. what we started recently is anytime between 8 and 9 after nursing i swaddle her and put her down in her crib while quietly talking to her. i leave the room and if she starts to cry i start a timer. i give her 2 minutes to calm down and if she is still upset i will go in and talk to her or sing her a song unitl she calms again. i don't pick her up once she is down. i have only had to go in a max of 3 times and she sleeps very well now. this may not work for all babies but just talking to her seems to do the trick once she is in her crib. as long as we know she is dry, fed, and not in any pain we are trying to stay by the theory that she can self soothe and will be fine. we are still early in this endevor, and so far, so good.

baby gray | June 17 , 2011 10:05 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

i dont like this method at all. Its very true that you and your partner must be on board with this plan. Daddy thinks it will work; he has tried many nights and I go and rescue the baby about 5 minutes later. My way may not be the best (I have no research for my method) but I think the most sound advice is do what feels best to you. If you dont mind it should be fine.

DanielleLT | July 10 , 2011 10:32 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

My LO is 3 1/2 months old now. I learned her different cries very early. She has a hungry cry, a tired/cranky cry, a pain cry, and a scared cry. 90% of the time, when she would wake up, it would be the tired/cranky cry, and I would let her cry it out for 2 minutes. If she didn't fall back asleep, I would pick her up and rock her back to sleep. Obviously, everyone's baby is different, but my LO has been sleeping from 11pm - 9am every night since she was 1 month old. Now before you guys jump down my throat for making a newborn cry it out, I did not abandon my child. If she was in obvious distress, I immediately went to her. She is an excellent sleeper now, and I have never felt guilty or regretted any of my decisions.

amarie726 | August 17 , 2011 10:44 AM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

BOTTOM LINE: Every mother, every parent has the right to choose their particular parenting style, it is no one's business to criticize how another parent chooses to raise their child. I read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and honestly I thought some of the advice sounded a bit harsh.. but then we decided to try some of the methods out of pure desperation and it really has saved our lives. Even so, we modified the book's cry it out methods a bit.. there was no way we were going to let our 7 month old cry for an hour. We tried shorter bursts.. we tended all her needs, got her good and sleepy and laid her in her crib. We have a musical toy and a white noise stuffed animal attached to the outside of the crib, and we play both of those for her. Usually she goes to sleep no problem, but occasionally she does fuss for a little while. But it's fussing, not screaming. While it is essential that babies learn to self-soothe, they don't really know how until at least 6 months of age. I think it's unrealistic to think a baby will never cry (or just fuss) themselves to sleep. BUT you have to do what is comfortable and what works for your family will not work for another's. I say this with every parenting dilemma.. should I co-sleep or put baby to bed in a crib? Breastfeed or formula? CIO or not? These are decisions each mother has the right to make without encountering attacks from other parents that think they know better. As long as your following basic AAP recommendations, I think that's best. But even then, as long as you use common sense coupled with plenty of love and affection towards your child, their will be no issue.

uniqdancer04 | August 21 , 2011 1:20 AM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

So many of you are saying that 6 weeks is way too early, but I really think each baby is different. My daughter was sleeping 6 hour stretches at a month, so at 6 weeks we let her cry it out and ever since she has been sleeping 9-11 hours a night. I rock her for a few minutes, and then lay her down and she falls asleep on her own, every night like clockwork at 8pm. I don't know how some of you are still getting up every night at 6 months! I need my sleep, It was hard listening to her cry, but I figured that she needed a sane mother who was well rested more than she needed to be rocked to sleep and fed in the middle of the night. For those of you who are ready to let your LO cry it out, Just keep with it, It is a short phase and will be over soon. Sleeping through the night is SO worth it!

hcshetler | September 07 , 2011 11:51 AM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Rather than try to work out if CIO is "right for you and your partner", why not try to work out if it's right for your baby? Isn't s/he the one you should care most about? Do what's right by them (ie - don't leave them to wonder where you are when all they want is YOU), and you're on the right track. Try some Pinky McKay, she should set you on the right path.

enternickname | September 30 , 2011 1:33 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I have talked to a therapist. They explained that the development of a babys brain. Baby's are not able to think if I cry they will pick me up. They cry if something is wrong (hungry, wet, tummy ache, ear ache, headache) scared or need to be comforted. Before the age of 2 yrs. A baby's way of feeling safe in this world is how we as parents meet they needs. My dr says at 6months you should let them cry it out. Evden if it is for hours. I have treid mixing the two advice. I lay him in his bed awake. Made sure he has been fed not a wet diaper, he is warm enough.Iif he cries non stop i go check on him comfort him without picking him up so he knows that I am there and when he settles back down I leave again. It has been very sucessfull. especially since he will not take naps unless he is being held and has a hard time sleeping longer than 2 hours at a time at night. Listen to your gut feeling as parents.

ambeec@hotmail.com | November 02 , 2011 12:11 AM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

The lack of support here is appalling. Bad sleep habits can be behavioural, and yes babies throw tantrums. Many of these posts show the typical "im a mother and my way is the right Wat". Each baby responds to methods differently, so if the cry it out method works for you, then do it! I have a 7 month old who refuses to self settle no matter how many methods and techniques I try. I strongly believe I have taught her this as I responded to her every noise she made and now she just gets angry and tries all her different cries to get what she wants

MzKatz | November 02 , 2011 4:13 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I agree 6 weeks is too young. I do let my 6 month old baby cry it out, I really don't have a choice in this one. If I rock her to sleep or she falls asleep while nursing and I go in and lay her down she will wake right up and start crying. Literally the only way around that for me is if I were to hold her all night which I'm to going to do, as much as i love to snuggle and hold that is just not doable for obvious reasons. At first it was difficult for me I hate to hear her cry but she always falls back to sleep before 5 min. and I just remind myself, she is fed, changed, burped. I know she is safe in her crib and she is not hurt or ill. I know in the long run it is for the better too, I think it is good for babies to cry a little bit to stretch out their vocal cords and lungs and learn to self soothe. My pedi suggested co-sleeping and I know many people think that's a wonderful thing and some people it works great for them, but i do not agree with that, my bed is my space and because i also have a 4 year old sometimes that is the only alone time I get with my husband literally sometimes thats the only chance we get to talk. Another thought is personally I do not find it safe as my 5 week wold nephew passed away from suffixation as his very exhausted mother accidentally rolled over on him.

mandymoo02 | December 13 , 2011 11:39 AM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I found that it was important to understand why my son was waking up at night. He was very hungry at night. He would nurse and fall right back to sleep. Although many researchers that suggest having babies "cry it out" state to withhold a bottle as babies may feel that they would need a bottle to go to sleep, I personally did not feel comfortable denying my son food when he was hungry. So I tackled his night waking by using 3 strategies. First, I continued to have a consistent bedtime routine (i.e., eat, bath, pjs, story, bed with his stuffed animal next time and no later than 7:45 pm) and night waking routine (i.e., whispering instead of talking in a normal tone of voice and keeping the lights dim when feeding the baby). Second, my husband and I had a 15 minute rule. If my son, was escalating in his crying instead of de-escalating after 15 minutes, we would come into his room (keeping the lights off) and rub his back until he would de-escalate (which would vary). Third, since the primary reason for my son's night wakings were to eat, I systematically and gradually increased the amount of time in between feedings, increase the feeding time, and added feedings during the day prior to his bedtime routine to satiate him. That was the most difficult part. After 4 weeks, he would wake up 2x's at night. After 5 weeks, he would wake up 1x at night. At 6 weeks, he was sleeping through the night. Needless to say, if my son were waking up in the middle of the night, I would tackle that issue differently. So I think that it's important to keep in mind why your LO is waking up at night, then figuring out how to remedy it, and lastly, be consistent and patient.

avenakat | December 19 , 2011 10:23 AM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

What I meant to say was if my son were waking up in the middle of the night to play, then I would tackle that issue differently.

avenakat | December 19 , 2011 10:27 AM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I have 6 month old twins (boy/girl). I was lucky to have my baby girl start sleeping through the night on her own at 8 weeks. At 12 weeks my little man was still waking up at night. He would just eat a couple ounces and then go right back to sleep. I figured that his sister was doing just fine sleeping through the night so my husband and I decided to let him CIO. We put both of them in the nursery upstairs and we slept downstairs with the TV on so we wouldn't hear him wake up. After 3 nights we slept back upstairs in our room and never got woke up. I'm not sure how long it usually takes but it sure was nice to start getting a full nights rest, especially taking care of twins.

munch_dc | January 04 , 2012 9:45 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

Oh My Goodness. I agree with the others a 6 wk old or a 3 month old should NEVER be left to cry. They wake up and cry most of the time because they r hungry. Hello how often do they eat during the day every 2-3 hours. Like some of the others I am horrified that people think its okay. Having a child means sacrificing ur time. They r not for posterity or to dress up like dolls and show off and play with when it's convienient. They need U the parent. And if people think sleeping through the night means they don't wake up to eat u r wrong. My daughter is 7 months old and she goes to bed at 8:30 wakes up at 12:30 or 1 to eat and at 6 to eat and both times goes right back to sleep and is then up for breakfast at 8 or 8:30. If they eat and go back to sleep then that's as good as it gets. They r just hungry. And please don't think that cereal especially prior to 4 months is gonna help them sleep longer this is a long time theory that is just that a theory and has been disproven several times. please don't ever let your baby CIO cause they r trying to tell u something I'm hungry, wet, or I don't feel good.

Shauna02 | January 05 , 2012 12:45 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

To munch_dc that is awful what if something was really wrong u would have never known cause u drowned your child/children out with a tv. I'm sure his screaming woke up his sister and they were both screaming. Every child is different just cause she was sleeping didn't mean he was ready.

Shauna02 | January 05 , 2012 12:56 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

if i woke up in the middle of the night and was hungry, i would go to the kitchen and make a snack, or if i had to pee, i would go to the bathroom. but if a baby is hungry or wet, he should just suck it up? that's what i'm reading, and i think it is crazy! my almost 9 week baby boy (i call him my linebacker) falls asleep around 11 pm or midnight and wakes around 5 or 6 am, eats, then goes back to sleep for another couple of hours. when he cries, i hear, "woman, i'm hungry. come feed me."

aforgay | January 24 , 2012 4:10 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

CIO method is nothing short of neglect. Doctors, "experts" & patents just like to sugarcoat it. Knowing your child needs you & purposely letting them cry for you is emotional & mental child abuse! Shame on you parents who are too selfish to put your baby's needs before your own! CIO greatly impacts the baby's brain in negative ways, & disrupts the bond baby has with his/her caregiver.

Karabootie | January 25 , 2012 3:52 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I also LOVE the book "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. We started using these techniques when our daughter was 5.5 mo old. As she's gotten a lil older (almost 9 mo) we've hit a few bumps in the road, but I'd go as far to say this book changed the way our whole family sleeps. We do let her fuss/cry for a little, but if she gets really worked up we go and reposition her and leave. She now takes 1 hr 20 min - 1 hr 30 min naps w/o help through sleep cycles and is sleeping around 10-10.5 hrs a night (instead of 35-45 min naps and 9 hrs or less at night). Do what's right for you. For me crying it out was torture. By the time she passed out, she was still sobbing in her sleep. I couldn't do it, but every baby is different and you can only do what feels right to you!

Ashbrat | January 27 , 2012 12:23 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I'm a first time mommy, but I read Dr. Sears and definitely suggest their advice. We co-slept with my son for the first two months and then put him in his crib at 8 weeks. Since then he's slept from 10pm to 9am. He'll wake up around 6am for a bottle and go right back to sleep. My husband works 2nd shift so we have an odd schedule. But he's 7 months now and still on the same schedule. I never let him cry it out when he was little or if he happens to wake up now. I think he sleeps soundly because he knows we are there for him. If you're having doubts about CIO then it's probably not best for you. I'm just an advocate of attachment parenting and answering LO's cries. They aren't old enough to be able to manipulate you, so if they are crying they need you. Some babies are just higher need babies. Nothing wrong with that.

screnshaw89 | February 03 , 2012 2:08 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

My daughter just turned 7 months old this month. I was a little weary of the CIO method, but I had to try something else for a few days. My daughter will be perfectly happy in her crib for naps and the second she sees you, she will instantly start crying like you are killing her! It was so hard to get her on a schedule to take naps because I never have a set routine because of work. I also picked her up every single time she even made a little peep! I slowly stopped doing this and I HAVE noticed that she will in fact cry because she is throwing a fit! I started putting her to bed at the same time every single night and she did cry for a couple minutes, but after a few nights, she was perfectly fine and she is sleeping from 8pm til 6am, where she gets a bottle and falls back asleep until about 8 or 9 am. This is heaven! I think what I'm basically trying to say is that the first few nights sucked, but I HAD to stop myself from getting her with every little noise. If she cries more than 10 minutes, I would go in her room, re adjust her, kiss her goodnight, and walk out. If I did this more than twice, she wasn't ready for bed yet. After a few nights of his same routine, I would wait a few more minutes to get her. If something was really wrong, I wouldn't hesitate to go in there, but as her mom I know her cries. She now sleeps like an angel and Mommy gets some sleep too!! I suggest trying it, but if you choose not to, who's judging? Only YOU know what works best for you and your family. If I can help a fellow mommy get a little more sleep though, I will gladly give any advice that worked for me! :)

arielmercedes0902 | February 11 , 2012 3:56 AM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

My daughter tried the cry it out with me on standby. we set a time of no longer than 10 minutes. It took 8 minutes the first time. The longest he fusses is maybe 5 minutes. He is 6 months old, goes down at 7 and is up at 6-6:30. I think it is important not to "crash" and pick him up. Now all naps and bedtime are painless, One week and it is heaven.

pspinney | February 20 , 2012 4:57 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

As a child development professional and a mom myself I really like and use the book "On Becoming Baby Wise, giving your infant the gift of sleep". I can not say enough wonderful things about it!!!!!!!!!!!!! I recommend it to everyone! .... It encourage flexible parent led (but based off of baby's cues) feeding and sleeping schedules and has great success rates. Even if you stat it with older children (I have used it successfully even on kids as old as 4). They author is a pediatric doctor who wrote this book to help his patients thrive both mentally and physical and their sleep deprived parents. He even walks you thought this medical reasoning and clinical test. I used it from day one and my child was sleeping 6 hrs stretches at night by 5 weeks and 10-12 hours by week 8! I can not tell you what an amazing gift that was!!!!! Like I said I am a child development professional and I recommend it every chance I get!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mamabelk | March 03 , 2012 12:26 PM

Q&A: Theory of cry it out?

I think for young babies, a few minutes is not going to hurt them and some may actually settle on their own in 5-10 minutes. But for lengthy, cry-it-out training, I do think 3-4 months would be the earliest. And I think the decision needs to be made based on what's best for the child, not the parents. If the child is waking a few times a night but still getting adequate rest, try and wait and see if they drop the wakings naturally. However if the child is chronically overtired because they can't fall asleep and stay asleep even with the parents help, it's time to CIO. We are having to do this with our 3 month old - I was hoping to wait until 4, but he is too stimulated by my presence and was not sleeping well, even in my arms. Our only option is to let him learn to fall asleep on his own. So far it is going very well - day 3 and he is already getting more sleep. He cries for a maximum of 20 minutes before falling asleep for naps and bedtime. He does cry longer after his first waking though, but it is getting progressively shorter - 3 hours, then 2, we'll see how tonight goes. He had been fighting sleep tooth and nail during these evening hours even when I was bouncing/rocking him, despite being exhausted. I think a few nights of distress leading to a happy well-rested baby are much better than letting him stay chronically overtired for who knows how long.

adriennen27 | May 08 , 2012 9:19 PM