Baby Care Basics:
5 Must-Know Tips for That First Week Home

1. Baby wipes
Most docs recommend avoiding premoistened diaper wipes for the first month of baby's life since some of their chemicals can irritate a newborn's tender skin. Instead, use cotton balls dipped in warm water. When baby’s ready for regular wipes, choose ones that are alcohol-free and unscented to prevent irritation.

2. Bath time
Until baby’s umbilical cord is off and healed, baby can only take sponge baths. Start by soaking your baby a little. Make sure to always keep one hand on baby, and remember that infants are especially slippery when wet. Start with his face–one area at a time since covering the whole face with a washcloth can be scary -- and work your way down. Make sure to thoroughly wash inside all the folds (under the arms, in the neck, the genital area, etc.) and save baby’s dirtiest parts -- aka the diaper area -- for last. Then, move back up and wash baby’s hair. And note: There’s no need to bathe more than every few days.

3. Newborn skin
At birth, baby's skin will probably appear to be dry. How come? It’s in the process of peeling off an entire waterproof layer of sorts. But in general, a baby's skin doesn’t need much specialized care -- just lots of TLC. A mild cleanser is safe, though many people recommend just plain water. Your baby's face takes a lot of abuse (just think of all that spitting!), so do your best to keep it clean. But if baby's skin seems excessively dry, irritated or itchy, or if you notice a rash or breakout, consult your pediatrician ASAP.

4. The umbilical cord get sucked into registering for cute toys or outfits Umbilical cord care has changed dramatically over the last 20 years; now, many hospitals recommend doing nothing but keeping the cord dry (read: sponge baths only). But some pediatricians still recommend using alcohol on the cord with each diaper change to speed up the healing process. That way you’ll be able to give your baby real baths, as opposed to sponge baths, sooner. So find out what your doctor recommends.

5. Fingernails and toenails
The safest way to keep a newborn’s nails short is to just file them and not cut them at all. Since the skin of the fingers is usually attached to the back of the nail, cutting the nails often results in nipping the fingertip too (ouch!). Even though the bleeding is minor and can be stopped quickly with a little pressure, it's very upsetting to the parent -- and always seems like a lot more blood than it really is! Once baby is a little older (18 months), you can cut their nails while they’re asleep.

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Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

My seven-month-old, who used to sleep through the night, has begun waking several times and crying for more than an hour. When I go in there, all I have to do is rub his back for a minute and he falls back to sleep for a few more hours. What should I do?

Re: My seven-month-old, who used to sleep through the night, has begun waking several times and crying for more than an hour. When I go in there, all I have to do is rub his back for a minute and he falls back to sleep for a few more hours. What should I do?

The Bump Expert

It sounds like your baby may be experiencing the beginning of separation anxiety, Some parents are frustrated when this stage happens, but it's completely normal and truly a wonderful milestone in your baby's development. Separation anxiety means your baby has the cognitive ability to understand that you exist, even when he can't see you.

Your baby will eventually become more comfortable with his newfound awareness. In the meantime, here are some ways you can teach him that when mommy leaves, she always comes back -- whether it's daytime or nighttime.

First, give your baby opportunities to practice separating from you during the day. Start with playing extended versions of peek-a-boo with him. Disappear from his sight for a few seconds and then reemerge. Gradually extend the time you disappear to 30 seconds, and then a minute or more.

Second, if you rarely separate from your baby, start making it part of your weekly routine. This will be helpful even if it's only for an hour or so. Pick a consistent time each week and make sure your child sees you getting ready to leave your home. He may protest at first, but resist the temptation to sneak out. In fact, involve him in the process of leaving. As you put on your coat, be upbeat and say something like, "Mommy is leaving but she'll be back soon!"

sleep experts conner herman and kira ryan Conner Herman and Kira Ryan, cofounders of Dream Team Baby

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

My 1 year old son has been experiencing this for about 3 weeks.... He is in Daycare 3 days a weeks and with my sister 2 days, so he is separated from us more often than not... He used to be able to fall asleep by crying it out and then waking up in the middle of the night a few times, but now he wont even fall asleep on his own, I have to sit in the rocker in his room until he falls asleep (I stay silent, but when he pops his head he sees me there and goes back down). We have tried to let him cry it out but it doesn't work. any suggestions to this???

38nascar |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I have the same problem with my 7 month old daughter and would love suggestions too! We have been letting her cry it out since 3 months, as suggested by our pediatrician, but she still cries for at least 20 minutes every night. As she is getting older, she is getting louder, and it is heartbreaking. The pediatrician's only advice was to keep sticking with it, because some kids are tougher than others, but after months of training, I think it just isn't working.

mlfbride |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

Hi, my 7 month old, is also having the same problem. It seems 7 months is the magic month! I've given up, and I bring him into bed with me, and he sleeps right through now. But I'm thinking of trying the 2 way monitor, which lets you talk to your baby. Has anyone tried that?

genelle.x |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

My son is also 7 months old and we are having this problem too! He used to just wimper a bit when we were putting him down or in the middle of the night. But lately he SCREAMS like he is in pain and then starts smiling and talking the moment one of us appears over the side of the crib. He'll be completely asleep in my arms and then jolt awake screaming once I put him down. It's horrible. It's one thing getting him to cry it out when he goes to bed - takes about 3 times checking on him in 5-10 min intervals. but then in the middle of the night he is inconsolable.

laurakfries |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

If "crying it out" isn't working, especially after an hour (!), your baby is telling you something. He just needs you - human babies are genetically meant to be close to their mommies. Ever heard of "kangaroo parenting"? Keeping baby close not only solves the issue of no one in the house sleeping, but gives baby a huge sense of confidence he will take with him forever. If your baby quiets down at the sight of you, great. If not, just take him to bed with you. If he's safe, what is the harm? That he'll get dependant on you? That's what you want him to do at this age right?

PreggoT |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I totally don't agree! Why would you foster this? Not only is it not safe ( a parent could roll over and not realize it and harm the baby) but it also does not foster security and independence which every child needs to delvelop. Also, this also can cause issues in your marriage if a couple doesn't have private time in their own bed. There are other methods to try and I suggest that moms do the research and try different methods to see what works best.

littlesushi |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I agree with (littlesushi) i have worked in childcare for 5 years and many parents have asked my help in getting children OUT of their beds because they just put the baby in with then since they were a few months old and after 2-3 years they have had enough...no intimacy with their partners and the child gets more anxiety...thinking they should be with mummy and daddy always. this is just my experience. i have a little 8mth old and she does cry for an hour some nights, but i just keep reassuring her i am still in the house by putting her dummy back in every 3-5 minutes, it is difficult at times but i feel she needs to sleep in her own bed :)

Kelbe20 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

My 7 month old will cry if I put her in the bed while she is awake. Sometimes her pacifier works for a few minutes. I've just started giving her her last bottle when I lay her down. She drinks what she wants and falls asleep. I just pull the door to where it is cracked. There is other noise going on in the house like the tv and my two other daughters getting ready for bed or even playing, but it doesn't bother her. I know putting her to bed with her bottle is not what some agree with, but i've done it with all three of my kids now and it has always worked. If you aren't getting the sleep you need, you aren't going to be active enough to play with your baby the next day or evening and will find yourself getting frustrated. It's so hard to do the right thing as the right thing in every child is different. For the person sitting in the chair and him knowing you are there, lay down on his floor and get a little sleep while waiting on him to fall asleep and then get up and go to your own bed. It's better than sitting in the chair having to be silent. Hope this helps!

ShelbyandSydney |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I used the baby whisperer book for sleep training by Tracy Hogg -she wrote a second edition that is for infants through toddller age and I found it wonderful! I can't do the cry out method - tore my heart out, plus my son is a fighter so I needed something else. Check it out from the library first and see what you think but it covers sleeping, eating, and even potty training! So far, everything in that book has worked exactly how they said it would - it teaches you to learn to read your baby and to roll with the changes, cause even though he is trained to sleep on his own, every once in a while, like now, he goes through a period of waking up a lot, but now I know what to do for him and help him to get back on track!

Tick |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

Glad to hear it's not just us. Our son turned 7 months old yesterday and keeps waking at night for an hour. He's been teething but 7 weeks and still no new teeth so maybe this is part of it. I had thought it could be separation anxiety in combination with teething. My issue is once he wakes I can't fall back asleep for hours even after he's long gone back to sleep! Any tips? Also, is anyone else having issues with baby suddenly peeing through his diaper every night? Don't know if it's an age thing or that we switched to a bigger diaper (from swaddlers to cruisers). Even tried nighttime diapers and no luck. The wetness keeps waking him up and starting this whole thing some nights.

kbrett1 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

Kbret1, I had the same problem switching from swaddlers to cruisers. SOLUTION is pampers baby dry! OMG they are lifesavers! They are much softer than the cruisers too!!!

AmandaPaLooZa |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

For a little more than a week now, my DD has been waking at least 4-5 times each night. Before this she was a solid 12 hour sleeper! Have those of you who have experienced this with their 7 month olds found it to be a phase? Relating to the nighttime leaky diapers: I had the same issue with leaky night diapers. After trying several different brands and styles, I found that Luvs worked the best and they also have a money back guarantee against leaks!

mamcclure |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

There's something reassuring about several people saying the same thing is happening to them. At least you know its not your fault. 7 months seems to be the magic number too. I used to be able to "sshhhh" my child to sleep and back to sleep, but lately it hasn't been working. He resists sleep and sometimes screams bloody murder! Instead of taking an hour to get him back to sleep (and not being able to do what I need to do) I keep him up. I try to keep him entertained or comfortable (like sitting on my lap while I'm on the computer) so he doesn't get too fussy. When I go to lay him down he's so tired that he just rolls over onto his side and goes back to sleep if he happened to wake up for a second.

bsannoh |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

A number of large- and small-scale studies have examined the effects of cosleeping on children. Some have reported no discernible differences between solitary-sleeping and cosleeping peers; others link cosleeping to better behavior, greater levels of happiness, fewer tantrums, less fear and fewer psychiatric problems. In adulthood, children who once coslept have been found to have higher levels of "confidence, self-esteem and intimacy". No evidence was found that cosleeping children became clingy or dependent as a result.(4) Mothers, too, may benefit psychologically from cosleeping. Many working mothers welcome the chance to reconnect with their babies after a day apart. Easy breastfeeding access means more sleep for both parties, resulting in a less stressed, less sleep-deprived mother. Moreover, many mothers who cosleep report that they enjoy the experience for the intimacy and security it provides. Read more at Suite101: Psychological Benefits of Cosleeping: How Bedsharing Emotionally Impacts Mothers and Babies http://www.suite101.com/content/psychological-benefits-of-cosleeping-a71446#ixzz10MKc5WHl

laurawinter |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I highly DISAGREE with littlesushi. not only is it statistically proven that the mother will not roll over on their baby, but co-sleeping is actually BETTER for the baby. Myvdaughter & I sleep together & she is 7 months also. She sleeps better at night than in her crib & I sleep better too. Co-sleeping also bonds parents with their children & as of the rolling over on them, they have things you can buy that prevent that from happening. Co-sleeping used to be the absolute most NORMAL method, but for some reason in America it has turned into the most wrong method. It is the the best bonding method besides breastfeeding for baby & parents.

Roxxeysmama |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

Roxxeysmama: C-osleeping in many studies is defined as sleeping in close proximity (in the same room) but NOT in the same bed with an infant. Many parents do roll over on their children and furthermore, it's dangerous to have the child in an adult bed with large sheets and blankets that they can get tangled in. Hello SIDS! I have no issues with co-sleeping, and actually think it is wonderful as far as attachment is concerned. However, there are many ways to do it safely, such as a bassinet or co-sleeper unit in the bed for the baby.

Sadebelle |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

"The Happiest Baby On The Block" by Harvey Karp. Run, don't walk to the bookstore and buy it. A must have If you ever want your baby (and you) to get down to a good sleep schedule! Its my bible!

christeeprego |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

i also have a seven month old son, he is doing the same thing. he goes to bed at 7-8 oclock sometimes 9, depending on if we were visiting family. but, as soon as he goes to sleep he wakes every 2-4 hours. now, it cant always be hunger.. he eats so much during the day. before bed he has a good dinner and a bottle. i really dont understand it. he wakes 12-1, 2-3, and is fully awake between 4-5am. sometimes he wakes more. i tip toe around the room when i need to get up. he wakes at the slightest sound. he cries and cries until i come and pat his bottom back to sleep. i am so tired by morning time, its almost impossible to function. i dont know.. but, if someone out there has some advice, please please, share

carolj32469 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

our 7 1/2 month old started this around two weeks ago. Up till then, he'd been sleeping through the night since he was 2 moths old. My husband I thought it was a recent cold or teething. We put him down around 7PM and he's been waking up every 2-3 hours crying his eyes out. Sometimes he seems to be crying in his sleep and not fully waking up. We also thought maybe he was having nightmares. He won't go back to sleep by just rubbing his back, which used to do the trick. The moment you pick him up, he's usually pretty much back asleep. The crying is very different this time also. It's more of a strangled cry like he's really mad that he's awake. It's hearbreaking, but we just keep reassuring him that we're there and sometimes night nursings if he seems hungry. Luckily tonight he's gone for 8 hours so far without a peep...and I'm the one who's up now at 4AM not sleeping! I felt so much better reading this board and seeing that other parents are going through the same thing!

catarrhalis |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

My daughter is going through this to. I had never thought about seperation anxiety as the problem. I go to work every morning but my husband stays home every day and is always here with her. I may try some of the tips provided above. Its nice to know we are not the only ones experiencing this. And catarrhalis, Ryan does the same thing, crying at night but not waking up completely. We thought maybe she had started teething but maybe thats not it this time. Hopefully this is just a phase and it will pass as well. And as for co-sleeping, my daughter won't do it anymore, once we moved her to her crib ONLY(when she was about 4 months old) she did not want to sleep in our bed anymore. She thinks its playtime if I do take her in there.

starhorse218 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I have read all these answers- I have a 2 year old and a 7 month old, my 2 year old still sleeps in our bed and my 7 month old has never been able to sleep with us... Guess it's dependent upon the baby's personality and in my case- my children have been complete opposites since day 1. Although I have a foot in my back or an arm in my face I will never get these years back and wouldn't change this for the world. So I would say do what works for you! I know one day I won't have control over where/how they sleep so I don't mind getting up now- as long as I know they are in my home... safe!

dsaldana |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I agree with Preggo T. I have NEVER had any problems at night with sleeping through the night. And I have SIX kids!! I breastfeed, and it's just easier to bring them to bed with me. None of them have to wake up crying or screaming....they just nurse back to sleep. I don't have to lose sleep either. It's a win-win situation! And I have to say that not ONCE have I or my husband rolled over on our baby! The only time I would say to never share a bed with your baby is if you have been drinking or are medicated. But if you're breastfeeding, then you aren't doing either anyway! =)

juliebulie1975 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

laurawinter...you've been doing your homework! I so agree with you and Roxxeysmama. My motherly instinct does NOT lead me to believe that leaving my baby to cry by himself for long periods will foster security and independence but a sense of abandonment...I want my baby to learn to trust that his basic needs will be taken care of so he can become self confident. If his needs are met, and he still needs to release some cries, he'll do it in my loving arms...

aisais |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

We are going through the same problem here with my 7 months old. He wakes up 1-3 times per night. I never had and will NEVER leave him crying , i am sorry but I find that if he is waking up scared and lonely , letting him cry is just worst. What i do is to rub his back or i breastfeed him, he goes back to sleep in 5 minutes... If it is around 6am I take him to our bed...

lugaf |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I read all your comments, because I need urgent HELPPPP! I have a 7 1/2 moth old, I nurse him bit I´ve been giving solid foods twice a day. He wakes up 2 or 3 times at night always, I´ve tried to gove him a bottle but he cries until I nurse him, he doesn´t like the bottles. I don´t know if now is worse due this separation anxiety, but the urgent problem is that a dentist told me that he needs to do me 2 root canals and I need to stop nursing for a week in order to take some antibiotics. Last night I tried to feed him with a bottle and cried for hours, so I ended nursing him, What can I do???? Please advice, thanks!

vanvanhu |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

Ok so i hear all these comments on nightime seperation anxiety with your babies but what about us moms? my 7 month old son just got his own room and is no longer in my room at night and I am having the worst seperation anxiety. i wake up at every single little noise. even though i have the baby monitor on very loud right by my head im scared i wont hear him wake up but then my mother instinct wakes me up for EVERYTHING ELSE!

kakniess77 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

Thank you everyone! I am so glad to hear that I'm not the only one dealing with these issues. My son has been waking up more often at nite recently too. Sometimes due to leaky diapers, sometimes because he rolls over onto his tummy and wakes up freaked out I think! I'm trying not to nurse him back to sleep, but he also screams like crazy. I sometimes can "shh" him back, but then he seems to wake up the second I put him down also. I feel like down the road I'll miss these quiet times at nite comforting him back to sleep, but at the same time, I need my sleep too! It also seems to mess up his daily schedule (I use that term loosely, since he's breastfeeding on demand and he makes the calls!).

Joy78 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

There are so many different methods because children are different. What works for one will not necessarily work for everyone. I say try them until you find the one that works for your situation and that makes you comfortable. I'm reading Babywise right now that my mom got for me, but it's not telling me anything new. My 7 1/2 month old has only slept through the night a handful of times, and if she wakes in the night she will not go back to sleep without nursing. The Target brand Up & Ups work great for us, but she screamed on the few occasions I've had to change her during the night. She takes after her dad, who didn't need much sleep when he was a baby so her naps are usually only 30 minutes and she only takes 2 a day most days. I get her to bed around 8, but she fights it. Every. Single. Night. Even getting so upset she made herself sick once. She's awake in the morning around 7- 7:30. The past few weeks have been worse due to teething (a top and a side tooth!), a cold and a growth spurt. It's frustrating sometimes to hear about my bff's baby who has slept through the night almost from the beginning and goes right down with no problems, but she's a different baby. I wouldn't trade my long-awaited miracle for anything.

Ginger98 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I do not think anyone has a right or wrong answer here. We all have our different ways of taking care of our kids and that's mainly because no kid is the same, especially in the way they like to be cared for. My 7 1/2 month old sleeps in his bed and has since he was about 3 months and that's when I was ready to put him in it, not because I didn't want him in the bed with me. My son wakes up about 2-3 times a night and I honestly can't tell you why. Sometimes he wants a bottle or sometimes he will just go back to sleep on his own. More often than not his diaper has leaked he is soaking wet. Either way, I could not possibly put him in the bed with me because he is a wild sleeper and he would just try to play instead of sleep, but I really wish I could because sometimes I just want to cuddle with him. We all have our own methods, so noone has the right to say any of these women are right or wrong because it's whatever works for you and your baby. Find a routine and stick to it, that's what I have always done and he has to be the best baby i've ever been around. and that's not a bias opinion because I have had many compliments on how good he is.

sammiejorey |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I am happy to hear we are not alone in this roller coaster ride with our son. Our son is 7months old, used to sleep through the night since shortly after birth. We transitioned him about a month or so ago to his crib in his own room and everything was fine for a while. He is a fighter when he first falls to sleep. Initially we thought that the wet diaper leaks were waking him up since he flips around so much. We switched to Luvs at night, it seems to keep him dry, but when he wakes he is covered in the little beads that keep him from getting wet! I have returned back to work and I do not get much time with him unless I am off. I am thinking this may be some of the problem. His sleep schedule is off as much as my husband tries, he will not go to sleep without a fight by 9pm. The moment I walk in the door, he wakes up and this continues through most of the night three to four times. I am exhausted from working a 12 hour or longer day and then I get a couple of hours in the night. Last night, I needed some sleep. I put him in his cradle and he slept through the night! Is it the smaller sleeping quarters he wants or the fact that he was in out room? I'd appreciate any feedback.

ImCS |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

So, my daughter definitely is waking up a little more lately (she is also 7 months). She has always been a great sleeper because we have worked hard at getting her on a schedule. I think she is waking up a little more lately because her sleep schedule has been a little off due to an ear infection. But it is getting back to normal now that she is feeling better. I find that many parents that I speak to put their babies to sleep on the later side. People are usually very surprised that my daughter goes to bed at 6pm. But she usually sleeps until 5 or 6 am (which is perfect because I get to work very early). Try putting your babies down a little earlier. If I put Lorelai to bed later than 6, she is over tired and has a much harder time sleeping all night. As for the diapers, I use Huggies overnight diapers. I only have to use 1 a night and they hold so much more than regular diapers. She never leaks through them anymore. I also find Kirkland (Costco brand) diapers to hold quite a bit for nightime.

Obi-Wan-Kababy |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

My LO started having sleep issues around 6 months. I work full time and was so frustrated and tired. So I started researching frantically. A lot of people recommended co-sleeping. And a lot of people recommended CIO. I found a solution that works for us. We do a bedtime routine around 8 pm and I put her to sleep in her crib. On a good night, she will sleep for a fee hours then I bring her to bed with me and nurse throughout the night as needed. I feel more rested and I love all of those night time cuddles. One thing that convinced me is the evidence that consistently soothing and responding to your baby ultimately leads to a happier and more secure child. Some good stuff here http://www.drmomma.org/#uds-search-results. Dr Sears and Kelly Mom are also good sources. Sorry I don't have the Lino but you can google. If you are considering CIO, remember that it is a method that includes routine and a gradual build up for alone time for baby. Also, Dr Ferber, who started the method, later denounced it and said he wouldn't use it on his own children. Re: Babywise. It's also about establishing routine, which is good for babies. But don't be so set on the routine that you ignore your motherly instincts or baby's cues. Also the Ezzos, who wrote the book, last I heard their own children don't speak to them. So consider the source. Good luck mama. I know it's hard. I'm there and my DH and I were just talking about it and I said, this won't last forever. Before we know it, she won't want anything to do with us. :)

MamaMarge8 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I am having the same issues as kakniess77! I have a video monitor beside my bed and it is very hard for me to sleep through the night without waking up to turn on the video monitor to check on Paisley. We waited until she was almost 5 months old to transition her into her own room because of some minor health issues, but she loves her own crib, and sleeps much better here than in our room. However, I get scared I am not going to hear her, even with the monitor right beside me so I end up checking the video and if she is uncovered I get out of bed and go cover her up, sometimes 2-3 times a night...She too is 7 months old and has started waking up a few times during the night as well, with no apparent reason so maybe it is separation anxiety?? I used to be able to pat her back and that would work, but recently I have had to rock her back to sleep...I am glad I saw this and know Paisly and I are not the only ones going through this.

foxxyfish1 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

My son sleeps IN bed with me for 6 months now and I have NEVER rolled over on him!! You know your baby is there neither of us move when were sleeping! So saying that youll roll over on you baby is totally false.

atksjk2010 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

OMG my 7 months old son is also waking up crying, much louder the before, several times at nite, he sleeps in our bed right on my arm, if i only move him over a little bit he wakes up crying, he needs to be the closest to me, i never roll over him, but i feel that my husband and i dont get any time together. I breastfeed back to sleep which is bad but my husband has to get up early for work and he cries so loud he wakes up the neightbors, i am also very tired from my 3-11:30 shift at work so i do whats easiest at the time, breastfeed and he goes back to sleep. My husband is in change of putting him to sleep since i dont get home till midnite, is always been dificult to put him to sleep but is getting worse, some nites i get home and they are still awake. i been thinking i should stop breastfeeding so meabe he will learn to go to sleep without my breast, but i know breastmilk is the best for him so i dont know what to do. I just hope this is just a face and that he can go to sleep easier and tru the nite. Babies are different and as parents we just have to do the best we can, it may not always be what the xperts(who had great sleepers) say we should do.... One they they'll be older and this will be just a memory, so we should enjoy every moment with them, even at 3 am!

hdoris19 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

Have you tried playing with your baby before bed? My husband cuts a rug with our son, and tickles him, and gets him nice and tired, so when he is ready to put him down he falls asleep instantly.....worth a shot....

pretarica |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

My 8 month old is just getting out of this stage. He goes down very easily at night after a little rocking, but would scream bloody murder when you try to put him down in the middle of the night. He has always primarily slept in his crib, and occasionally sleeping the last half the night with my husband and me. All of the sudden at 6 months, he stopped sleeping through the night (and he had only just started), and would wake up between 3-4 hours after he goes down at 10. He would fall back asleep while being rocked and nursed, but the second his head would touch the mattress of the crib he would start crying. We tried a few times to let him cry it out, but he is NOT a cry it out baby. He just keeps crying for over an hour, so we quickly stopped that method. Eventually we just broke down and would bring him to bed with us so we could all get some sleep, and he would sleep pretty good the rest of the night, waking up for the day at about 8:30. During this time he was cutting his bottom two teeth, then got an upper respiratory bug, then cut his top right tooth, and had a double ear infection. For the last three nights he as slept all night in his crib, only waking up once during the night. In his case, I guess it was just the teething and being sick that made him very clingy to me. Hopefully he is better now, and will stop sleeping with us, so we can have our bed back. As bad as it hurts to hear them cry and then feeling bad to let them sleep with you, sometimes you just have to ride out the storm and hope it gets better soon. Just remember that baby may be waking up for other reasons than to just wake up. At least that big smile first thing in the morning makes it all worthwhile. Enjoy the snuggle time.

guineapig28 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I had a book recommeded to me and it works WONDERS!!! My child has slept through the night since he was 2 months old WITHOUT EVER "crying it out" The book is called the No Cry Sleep Solution By Elizabeth Pantley.

xJenkellyx |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

My 7 1/2month old daughter who used to go down at 7.30 every night smiling and laughing started crying when i leave the room a few wks back. I totally disagree with the mother's who say you should put your baby in bed with you! this is not good for the baby or your relationship with the dad. I have started the crying out routine, i was going in the room every 3-5minutes telling my daughter it's ok and mammy is only downstairs and have tried to go a bit longer. it took me originally 30-40mins to get my daughter off to sleep but after a few nights its taking 15mins. just stick it out and hopefully it will pay off. I believe a baby needs routine and if you stick to the same thing everynight the baby will settle.

summer2608 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I agree with sammiejorey...there's no right or wrong way of raising your child. Some people 'may' be afraid of rolling over on their child and that's why they choose to not co-sleep but that doesn't mean that co-sleeping is wrong. My baby girl has been sleeping in her crib since she was 6 weeks old and during growth spurs or times when I just can't console her, I have brought her to bed with us to nurse so I can get some sleep. She is 7.5 months old now and just started waking up screaming once a night after she has been sleeping through the night (12 hours+). So, it must be a 7 month thing. I have used the book "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" and everything in there has worked. Right now, I go into her room and console her...I try not to nurse her because I don't want her to fall back to a night feeding schedule again - What the book recommends. I tried to bring her to bed with us once, but because she has been sleeping in her crib since she was 6 weeks old it did not calm her at all. She did want me(or my husband) near, but not on our bed. She was mad!!!! Now, we just try to soothe her in the rocker with her pacifier. I would give the book I mentioned above a shot. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. He gives suggestions for different methods of sleep training and I think does a good job on accommodating different views on parenting.

roci1inares |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I have the same problem with my 7 month old...he will sleep all night if he is in the bed with us or if he is my arms, but when I lay him down he will sleep for maybe an hour if the room is quiet, but if he hears the slightest peep of our voices he opens his eyes. at first it wasn't a problem he would just start talking and play with his hands, but now he cries and LOUD. it makes it even worse if I peek in and he sees me. My husband tells me to leave him and let him cry for a few, but it's so hard to see you baby sad.

marriahj236 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

7 months... he wakes up several times a night and all i have to do is go in and hold his hand and he goes back to sleep. my husband has tried, but my son only wants me. separation anxiety makes sense since he just started crying whenever i leave the room during the daytime. letting him cry does not work... he just gets more worked up. i am hoping it is just a phase and will pass soon. good luck to all you mommies and daddies... motherhood is hard.

robbiejane |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

My 7 month old son has started doing this, too. He'll wake up out of a dead sleep wailing. I go in, try to hold him, rock him, sing to him, nothing changes until I feed him (I'm breastfeeding). He eats ravenously from both sides, drifts right off to sleep and then sleeps for 3-5 hours completely uninterrupted. Not really sure if feeding him is the right thing to do, but I don't feel good about letting him cry it out if he's really hungry. I know they say most babies don't need food at night, but why does he take a full feeding and then drift off like that's exactly what he wanted? Even when he doesn't drift off after eating he's content to lay in his crib until he drifts off. Is he not getting enough to eat during the day??

melaniehrivnak |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I don't pretend to have all the answers, but I seriously feel bad for babies whose parents allow them to cry it out. I can barely stand reading about it. What is wrong with us as humans when we stop listening to our instincts because some doctor told us to leave our baby to cry himself to sleep. I'm literally sick about it. Why does a 7 month old need to learn independence??? My child is going to learn algebra someday, but he doesn't need to start now!! Sorry, I just hate the CIO method. I think it's cruel. The end.

Jdub57 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I can't read ALL the responses here, but I'm glad to see some defending a more "Attachment Parenting" style (ie; co-sleeping). My goodness, how did we survive as a species if we rolled over on our infants in our sleep? Co-sleeping is the norm in much of the world still. Also, anyone who doesn't feel good about letting their baby "cry-it-out", there are LOTS of alternatives. The book, The No Cry Sleep Solution is a start. Lots of suggestions on http://www.askdrsears.com too. I'm not sure why CIO such a great idea if so many moms feel so bad doing it. Isn't that your mommy instinct talking? I don't demonize anyone for doing it, I just don't practice it & don't agree with it.

stompykitty |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

It is so painful to hear that crying, but I totally agree with the parents here who are encouraging self-soothing! I have an eight month old, and for the last three weeks, he's been waking briefly in the night. I usually go into his nursery quietly and cuddle him (to initially soothe) and lay him back down again. Most of the time, he just rolls back over and I hear shores on my monitor within minutes! The co-sleeping idea at seven or eight months just isn't practical, and I would imagine it would foster intense dependence...maybe even co-dependence. It sounds good in theory- your baby wants to be with you- but think of the long term effects. I taught high schoolers for years and was continually disheartened by the number of enabled, dependent teenagers I encountered...if you research, you'll find that dependent children often become dependent teens! Logically, your baby needs it's mother most of the time, but you also need to lay the groundwork for a baby (then a child, then an adult) to solve their own problems and sleep soundly. Encouraging things like self-soothing, thumb sucking, self-feeding were all endorsed by my pediatrician! You're with your baby all day...you and your baby both need a break at some point!

grosskopfk |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I have to correct a few comments.. To those of you who say its 'proven' that mothers dont roll over on their babies or false, etc.. Its absolutely a very real risk!! I wpork in the Emergency Room @ a childrens hospital & unfortunately have seen it 1st hand.. Ive seen infants die from being smothered or brain damage from lack if oxygen.. Ive seen babies fall off the bed & have skull fractures & brain bleeding.. With that being said, Ive slept w/ my baby a 'few' times & believe that you should do what you believe is right for your family.. But dont be fooled into thinking some internal instinct will protect your child while you sleep.. Ive seen it ruin lives numerous times & Im only in 1 hospital, imagine the cases across the country...

bghitman |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I have a 6 1/2 month old son. Since he turned 4 months he stopped sleeping through most of the night. I have never let him cry it out because I think it is cruel first off. He is crying because he wants to be with you and feel secure. I have now come to realize my son only wants to sleep 8 hours at night not the 12 hours I thought he should have and he will take several 1-2 hour naps during the day. He will wake up a few times at night but he is back to sleep quickly. He did cry out loud for a bit recently when my husband and I have been getting him ready for bed but we just comfort him and let him know we love him very much. He has been going to bed easily since then. As well, moms use your instincts and I read an article about how other cultures care for their children and many of them have their children sleep close to them until they are over 1 years old. Plus our society is pushing independence on children too early in life we need to slow down and enjoy our bonding experiences with our babies. We are given a year off to spend nurturing and understanding the needs of our own children. Don't force your child to do something that may work for another, find out what will work for them. There is nothing wrong with what your child needs, which is the comfort of knowing mom is there even if it is a brief rub on the back to drift him off to sleep again. Eventually this will change and you will miss being needed by him. Enjoy bonding with your baby.

malindazuber |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

Jdub57- I totally agree. This letting your baby cry to learn independence is crazy to me. Poor little babies!

rayas |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

cry it out is CRAZY. sometimes there is too much advise in life and alot of in when it comes to Mother's and their babies comes from...Men like pediatricians. Our daughter is almost 8 months old and YES she still gets up once or twice a night and needs a cuddle, etc. but isn't this why we have babies???? Not to "train" them but to out right love them and nuture them. Some day you will miss these nights when your baby crys out and needs/wants you. Sleep is overrated. :)

bridepink |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

Those of you that say "I sleep with my baby and I've never rolled over on him" make me SO angry!!!! The FACT that more than one newborn with very loving parents has passed away from being smothered by a parent is hard to ignore! Every parent makes their own choices when it comes to sleeping with your baby.... BUT you can't say that because I haven't smothered my baby it is safe. I haven't been in a motorcycle accident as well, doesn't mean I'm going to ride without a helmet!

bridestamm0030 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I am so GLAD that other mom's aren't okay with letting their LO cry it out. I am having issues with my LO awaking up and crying but since she is our bed, it last all of 2 seconds and she goes right back to sleep. Everyone has to do what is best of them and their child. I am okay if my 7 MONTH OLD needs to be dependant for now. There are great articles and research that support cosleeping and how it creates confidence in children.

proudfootja |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I have been sleeping with my baby since the day she was born. She is almost 7 months old. Not once have I rolled on her, and she sleeps between daddy and I so she can't roll off the bed. I honestly don't see a problem with it since it makes both of us feel more secure, and add in the fact that I breastfeed.. I love snuzzling up to my little bug. (:

kadiesmom2011 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

Also, I do not believe in CIO. I completely agree that it is okay for a BABY to be dependent on his or her mommy. Just like any other mammal. And when the time comes for her to sleep in her own crib, well, i'll deal with it then. (:

kadiesmom2011 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I have read many of yall's comments and agree with some and not others. My son like many of you the last 2 months has had major seperation anxiety during the day and night. Yes, we have caved in sometime and let him sleep with us and he has slept on my chest. I thought this wouldn't be a bad thing. Although, my aunt is a nurse and she said a few weeks ago two parents had come in the hospital and lost their baby due to them having the baby sleep in bed with them. When babies lay on you or next to you they get SO comfortable that they get into such a deep sleep that they may forget to stop breathing. I know of this case and another friend of our that it happened to several years ago while the dad was sleeping with baby on top of his chest. Don't want to scare anyone just wanted to share the info.

amandafinch |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I am currently reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" its a step by step program for a good night's sleep. My son is almost 7 months and for the past month wakes up almost every night SCREAMING. Some of it has to do with teething but not every night. The Hubby and I have tried almost everything and a friend told me about this book which is supposed to help train babies to self soothe themselves back to sleep and the importance it has on the rest of the littles ones develpoment. Let you know how it goes, I hopeful since I have heard rave reviews from people.

heado702 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

My 4th child is now 7 months old and going through the same thing. Just like when my husband and I went through this stage with our other 3 boys, we moved the baby closer to us. With the first one, we put his crib at the foot of our bed and that helped him. The next two slept in the middle of my husband and I in our bed. I am an extremely light sleeper and would wake up at the slightest movement or sound - so basically I woke up a lot, all night long for a minute or two at a time. But with our current son, he is sleeping in a large, high-sided bassinet that is next to my side of the bed, touching it so that he feels when we move in the bed. My husbands snoring probably let's him know we are there. I don't want to go to bed early like with our other sons in the past so this son sleeps in a bassinet in the room where we watch tv quietly. He is right next to us to reassure him. THE MOST amazing thing about this son is that he has been talking since he was 2 months old! SO when this stage started happening, he woke up screaming and said "I had a bad dream". Maybe, just maybe, babies at this age are dreaming more or have had enough experiences to have scary or bad dreams... Which could contribute to waking up a lot and being scared or crying.

lisacab |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

my daughter is almost 13 months, and me and my fiance can't leave her sight or shell throw a huge tantrum. and wehn other ppl come to viist for the day she crys when they leave the room. the worse is at night she'll sleep for about 3-4hrs in her crib and then wakes up screaming at about 1am she don't calm down till i hold her. i tried letting her cry it out, then tried rocking her back to sleep but when i try to put her back in her own bed she screams until i take her to bed with us. when she's with us she still wakes up screaming about every hour till i litteraly lay her on top of my chest. she used to sleep threw the night. at first i just passed it off as there was a lot of change going on we bought a house , so moved. and her biological father started having her for 1 overnight(and they hae a newborn also). but now we are both so sleep deprived i'm not sure what to do. i thought about moving her crib into our room for a month so she could get a little more use to the house. then try moveing it back onto her room.. help.....

jaming56 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I know that CIO is not for everyone, but if you follow the methods listed in the book Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Richard Ferber, its really not abandoning your baby to cry hysterically until they fall asleep. You only start off leaving your child to cry for 3mins then next night extend it to 5mins and so on. The book is very clear as to how to make the method work for you and how to troubleshoot for many things. It also advises you on crib safety and clearing everything with your pediatrician so as not to leave a sick baby CIO when they really need you. I have used it for about a week now and the schedule and plan alone have helped put my mind at ease since I feel I have something concrete to follow. I'm very anxious because I'm starting a new job and LO will have to be on a good sleep schedule so we can BOTH function! Good luck on anything you choose! Sending warm thoughts and encouragement your way!

mechengineer26 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I am having the same problem. i know he can't be hungry because we just fed him. He refuses to go to bed before 9pm, so that is the first thing we are going to try changing. and he puts himself to sleep- so it is not sleep training. The past three nights he has been waking up at midnight and staying awake till about 2am. Any new thoughts will be great. We personally are dont with Co-sleeping. and want him comfortable in his crib.

huntgirl |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

We get up with our little one (almost 8 months) and put her pacifer back in. Usually she falls back to sleep on her own but sometimes she needs to be rocked. Babies cant really self sooth (their brains arent wired that way) so we are not trying the cry it out method...but to each their own. Sometimes she just wants a cuddle :)

krodenberg |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

Everything is a stage. My 8 month old will do alright for a few weeks, then will wake 2-3 times in the night for a few days, not because he still needs the nighttime feeding (he is still BF, with solids now) but it seems because he just needs the extra snuggles (aka separation anxiety). I'm not one for the cry it out method, and I haven't even had the discussion with my pediatrician because I know my baby boy, and we have tried CIO only to find he gets more spun up the longer we let him cry. I have read it doesnt work for all babies. I try to remember that it is normal for babies to wake at night and I relish the extra cuddle time rocking him back to sleep. He is separated from us M-F during the day because my husband and I both work full time, so any extra time with him is OK with me (but yes, those wakeful nights are exhausting). Before we know it our little babies will be little kids and all of these sleepless nights will be behind us, but so will the rocking chair cuddles, so try to embrace it as another fleeting moment in the adventure we call motherhood :)

TheEasTeam |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

Glad to hear that we aren't the only ones going through this. We always go in and either rock him back to sleep or bring him in bed with us for a bit, which means we don't sleep for the rest of the night. For us, this problem also exists in the carseat at night. I guess since it is dark, he can't see himself or me in his mirror. Any suggestions as to what do when he's in his carseat at night?

Arianne1220 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

My baby boy almost 9 months has not had this issue. I am a nurse and have read a lot. Newborn psychology states that a baby will established caregiver relationship in the first 6 months of life. I never let my child cry for more than 10 minutes. I would and will sooth my baby at first sound of a cry. My baby has been cosleeping from day one in a newborn bassenettt to his pack and play, now. For now, he wakes me up in the middle of the night with his giggles and playing. He will play for how ever long, i dont stay up to see when will he fall asleep again, and falls to sleep all on his own. I do put on night sound machine for him all night long with a dim night light. my husband and i have grown to sleep with the frogs and crickets sound machine. Maybe, a soothing night sound machine will help with babies that wake up in a cry. My son was born premature and his doctor is very impressed with his development. All his doctors say that he has caught up with babies his age. My son has not gotten sick at all, knock on wood. I don't know but I feel that if a baby has a well established sense of security, the baby will thrive in many ways. Remember less time crying means more time invested in learning, developing healthy immunities, and healthier psychology. We do put him to nap in his nursery during the day. He will wake up all smiles very few times will he cry. Look, a child won't stay as a child for ever. They will grow and won't want you around all the time.

blackpetal |

night-separation-anxiety

How about enough with opinions and simply say do what works best for you and your family! Impersonally have 3 children under, 2 year old twins and a newborn. The twins had to learn how to soothe themselves and yes have at times had to "cry it out" especially when they are so over tired and all the love in the world is not going to make them fall asleep! I also don't believe in bringing a baby into the bed for the full night. We cuddle and rest but mommy and daddy need their own time and their own space... Hence baby number three lol! Good luck everyone and the one thing I got from all these long winded answers and what I most agree with, whatever you are doing do it out of love and you are doing the right thing!!!

nikkiredw |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

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Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

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Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

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troy55 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I will never understand how a mother can be so cold hearted towards an infant and let them cry it out! We coslept with my now 4 year old son and he now sleeps in his bed and has since he was 2 years old. He's not afraid because he knows he's always welcome in our bed. My 7 month old sleeps with us and we wouldn't have it any other way. We are not on drugs, prescription med, we don't drink and there's no reason why we would roll over on her. When we want to spend alone time we simply put her in her crib with whatever shirt I wore all day next to her so she has my scent and when we are done we bring her back to bed. It's been proven that CIO doesn't work! Babies can hyperventilate while crying and the lack of proper oxygen to the brain can cause brain cells to dye! They lived inside you for 9 months don't you think it's natural for them to only feel safe next to you???

Monkeymoo2008 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I think what you are doing is working, if he falls back to sleep once you offer a bit of comfort (i.e. rubbing his back) I'm sure that eventually he will stop waking and will start sleeping through the night. Right now, he just needs that extra bit of reassurance. I'm sure in no time, you will be back to getting some sleep too! Or possibly could he be hungry? My 8 month old often sleeps through the night but there are nights when she wakes up hungry, I nurse her and lay her back in bed awake and she goes back to sleep.

spammer1979 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

I don't think anyone should be judgmental about the CIO method. There is sound medical science behind the approach, and there are plenty of wonderfully healthy, loved, and secure babies out there who cried themselves to sleep. My LO cries for about 10-15 minutes before falling asleep and in the morning she is smiling and happy and seems content. Although it is hard to hear her cry, I know she feels loved and secure.

jcrising |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

Have you had his ears checked? My son is now 8 months old and battled ear infections for months. He had six since he was a month old. He was finally big enough for tubes. The ENT said that he was born with extra fluid around his ears.., which caused a lot of pain from the pressure. We just thought teething was giving him fits... Turns out he was just in pain from his ears. He was waking up at night because of the pressure on his ears. His tubes have been in for three weeks now. Much better sleeper, a different baby! A lot more vocal now. I would have your son's ears checked.

Smorgan5 |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

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DonnaTBranham |

Q&A: Night separation anxiety?

Just reading through this thread and wanted to share something. Working in the medical field I have seen first hand the effects of co-sleeping gone wrong. I will never forget the first time l saw a baby come in to the ER; sadly dead on arrival. One of the parents rolled over on the baby and the baby suffocated. Please mommas co-sleep safely with a side sleeper or a bassinet that goes right on the bed & don't assume these things can't happen to you because you don't normally roll around in your sleep.

kkalinski |