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Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

We’ve been trying to get pregnant for months and we’re pretty frustrated. How can I keep a positive attitude?

Re: We’ve been trying to get pregnant for months and we’re pretty frustrated. How can I keep a positive attitude?

The Bump Expert It’s tough not to obsess, especially when Aunt Flo arrives month after month. First, realize that what you’re going through is normal. Yes, a widely cited stat says that it takes the average couple between four and six months to conceive, but that means it took many couples a lot longer. And while it may seem like “everyone” you know gets knocked up without a problem, there’s a good chance they struggled too. Second, seek out support. Talk to friends or family or try an online community (like the one right here). Sharing your frustration with women who know exactly what you’re going through can really help. Try not to make your mate a constant sounding board for your TTC anxiety -- it’ll only increase any he’s probably feeling himself. On especially bluesy days, tell yourself that you will have a baby one day. Really picture yourself holding your little sprout and imagine how good it will feel. It might not happen quite how you imagine... maybe not when, either... but keep believing that it will. And when it does, the stress you’re experiencing now will be way more than worth it.

Paula Kashtan | April 30 , 2009 11:46 AM

re: Q: Frustration with TTC?

I am so frustrated and the thought that I am crying in the childrens department of stores scares me. I want a child now and I have been trying for almost a year, I am starting to worry and it is starting to consume me!

ngunn04 | January 22 , 2008 7:48 PM

re: Q: Frustration with TTC?

We've been trying for 6 months. I'm 32 and will be seeing the doctor next week. It's hard to stay positive when you cry everytime your period comes.

Renno71 | January 23 , 2008 10:30 AM

re: Q: Frustration with TTC?

It is so sad and hard playing the waiting game with something that you so desperately want and have already been patient with. It becomes consuming and the sadness that engulfs you when you get your period month after month is so hard to shake off. People who get pregnant after a few tries have no idea how lucky they are. People who have to struggle are kind of a sorority unto themselves. No one really gets the pain but someone else who has been there.

three.bugaboos | January 25 , 2008 11:01 AM

re: Q: Frustration with TTC?

i know how it is I cry and pray and cry and take early tests follow old wives tales and I can't stand it right now to see baby commericals, people with kids ect I cry and ask why me and the doctors say fertility specialist time but my insurance and most insurance companies say we don't cover it. They charge 8-10 grand for ivf which they push and like me when you've had breast cancer and are estrogen + they won't give you hormones what are you to do I am glad to have yall to talk to ty

doggal | January 30 , 2008 1:59 AM

re: Q: Frustration with TTC?

HiIm new at this but I am 32yrs old. We have been TTC for the past 4-5months & Im beginning to get really depressed & frustrated because all my friends seem to get pregnant on their honeymoon. I cant help it but to cry everytime I see a pregnant women or a baby. Dont know how to handle this well???

ttehrani | February 05 , 2008 1:19 PM

re: Q: Frustration with TTC?

I thought I was the only one that was crying when I saw pregnant woman and little babies. I'm so frustrated and starting to think it's me. I've been tested but still not pregnant! Uggggh!

Wantingababy | February 05 , 2008 2:19 PM

re: Q: Frustration with TTC?

well when you start feeling helpless & frustrated the only thing can do is to cry :( I thought this process was going to be easy since you spend a lifetime preventing pregnancy. I dont know what else to do but to have hope each month over & over again. I dont know what else to do. I wish everyone alot of baby luck!!!!!

ttehrani | February 05 , 2008 8:56 PM

re: Q: Frustration with TTC?

I just bought the Clearblue Fertility monitor, I hope it works out. Its great because it pinpoints your ovulation days & the best time to have sex. something to think about if your getting depressed & frustrated

ttehrani | February 05 , 2008 9:04 PM

re: Q: Frustration with TTC?

I feel frustrated too, all my friends who aren't planning or trying to get pregnant seem to be the ones getting pregnant, every three months someone I know is announcing they are when they haven't been trying or planning too. We've been married since December of 2006 but have only been sorta trying since September of last year. My husband keeps saying "It will happen when it happens" But I have a feeling that we are going to have to start using a fertility chart more and leave a little less to chance.

allisonhoughton | February 14 , 2008 10:35 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I'm new to this site. Wow, i am so glad that there are people who understand my frustration and pain. I thought I was going crazy! I cry when I see commercials, pregnant people and anything baby related. I have an entire nursery for a baby but haven't been able to conceive. I have been married since Oct 06 but like the girl above I have only been trying since Nov of last year. The doctor has ordered my husband to get a sperm count which he is not so happy with but said even though it is completely embarrassing he will do it. He also says when it happens it will happen. I think men just do not understand the maternal instincts that are involved and why it is so upsetting to us. Good Luck to all of you and God Bless!!!!

LaurieLyn77 | September 16 , 2009 12:17 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I have been TTC for at least 2 years now..Im frustrated and very emotional because it has just been so hard for me.

corrinthiamccullough@yahoo.com | September 22 , 2009 6:00 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I totally understand too! I have been trying for 6 months. I am very stressed because my husband is getting deployed in 2 months! I really want a baby, and it seems like everyone around me is pregnant. Good luck to all!

kellic124 | September 26 , 2009 5:05 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I totally understand that everyone seems to be pregnant and it is very hard, but at the same time none of know what they had to go through also! We have only been TTC for 6 months but we are starting fertility this month due to me. Everyone just know that one day all of us will look back on this and know that it made us stronger! I have recently started a journal just to myself to help me get through all the bad times and it really does help. hopefully i will be able to look back and laugh. we all have to stay positive!!!

pwcs06 | September 30 , 2009 12:47 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I too understand all to well how frustrating ttc can be. For me it was very hard the few weeks after I miscarried in june. waiting for a bfp and seeing af every month since has discouraged me but at the same time hardend my resolve to not give up. I take comfort in the fact that I was pregnant and get pregnant again, but nothing will make me happier than when I can finally have a little miracle to call son or daughter. Good luck to all ttc,keep the faith!

DaniG1 | November 17 , 2009 10:22 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

It's hard because you can't talk about TTC often (I guess you could, but I don't want to open that can of worms with co-workers---and plus, I find I'm thinking about it more than I want to as it is). Honestly, the thing that helps me the most is praying with my husband about it. It helps to know that he really wants us to have a baby too, and to realize that God's timing is best.

shperkins | December 08 , 2009 8:44 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

My husband has a 75% chance of having a baby but only after administering fertility drugs for at least 6 months.. He refuses to do it until 2 years from now, but I have been patient. People around us seem to get pregnant just by touching hands, and most of our friends' babies are 'whoopsies!' I don't know what to do anymore.. I really want a baby but I don't know if I'll ever have one.. Also, if the drugs don't work, he'd rather adopt than go through artificial insemination using a donor sperm. I understand it will be weird for him to pregnant with somebody else's sperm, but I really want to experience preganancy and childbirth and have a child of my own..

mjorda21 | December 16 , 2009 2:01 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

Do you ever think that if you hear the phrase "Don't worry, dear, when it's the right time, it will happen for you" just one more time, you'll throttle the person who said it? After 26 months of TTC, I'm getting desperate. The DH is supportive and concerned, but just doesn't understand my dispair. Some days I don't think I can go through the rollercoaster even one more month, and other days all I can think about is having a baby. Maybe I need professional help.

labwench79 | April 02 , 2010 1:09 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

Me and my husband have been ttc for a year now, he had a SA and I had hormone tests and an HSG and the results were fine, I don't know what the next step is, I will be seeing my gyno this month. Like all of you I can't wait to have a child of my own. Last month I had the idea to quit trying but realized that real effort requires going "all in" I printed the fertility chart for the first time. Hopefully we can figure out the right day to conceive, in the mean time I keep praying and trying to stay positive. Good luck to all of you and God bless!

arobinson106 | May 07 , 2010 3:55 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I am totally frustrated too. I feel like I am doing everything to be in the mental and physical state I can be in to conceive but find myself getting annoyed and frustrated that were not pregnant yet. All I see are pregnant ladies!!! .We've been trying for 6 months but the last 2 months have felt like eternity . I found doing affirmations, meditating and keeping a gratitude journal helpful in keeping a positive attitude. Dh is super supportive and has just much baby fever as I do and says we'll whatever we have to do but just wants to wait a couple of more months ...Sending lots lof love and light to everyone

singaporeorchid | June 14 , 2010 8:12 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I have been going through the same thing too. I miscarried last October. We decided getting pregnant again would be the only way we could feel better. Well, here it is, June (almost July) and it still hasn't happened. I try to take comfort in the fact that I got pregnant before, so I should be able to again, but I have this fear that it was my one chance. I plan on calling my Dr. to see if they can give any advise or find out any problems we might have. I have been charting my bbt and testing to LH surges. Well, at first, my bbt showed I was ovulating and I didn't ever show an LH surge on my tests. This month I got an LH surge, but my bbt has been wacko. It doesn't show I ovulated at all. I am so confused! What is going on with my body? My DH has been very supportive and he feels the same way I do. Somehow, he is able to stay calm. I'm glad that he can. I agree that noone really knows what this is like unless they have gone through it themselves. I feel jealous all the time of pregnant people. Not that I'm not happy for them, but I want to be part of that world. I feel like I'm stuck in my life. In general, I do have a great life and a lot to be thankful for, but I can't help but want more. I never thought I'd be ready to have a child, but I am so ready. When will it ever happen? Will it happen? :(

moonmermaid83 | June 20 , 2010 6:58 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I'm feeling sad today, my husband and I have been TTC for over a year now and haven't had any luck. I'm going to see a specialist next month and hopefully will be able to get some answers. I have followed all of the suggestions given by my doctor and still nothing. Today I got a call from my best friend and she's pregnant (unplanned although they were talking about having another anyway). It will be their second child and I'm excited for them, but part of me is very sad. All I got today was my period. I'm getting to the point where I don't really want to be places full of pregnant women and people with young children. I no longer get my hopes up every month, I feel that it will just be more of the same and I'll end up with crushing disappointment again.

Woodi | June 27 , 2010 12:36 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

My husband and I have also been TTC for almost a year now. I feel all of your pain and I feel the frustration when you hear day in and day out that 1) it will happen when it happens, dont worry so much, or you may be trying to hard and 2) it seems every women you pass is pregnant or just had a baby. It hits you in the face daily, and especially when mother nature calls, but we do not give up. So this month I have decided to explore and take on a new hobby. My reason is to occupy myself so Im not so frantic or anxious about TTC. I am hoping that if I do my part and keep a positive attitude maybe it will happen. Good Luck and lots of baby dust! Just remember to smile everyday, even throught the hurt and disappointment. You do not wanna remember TTC as being horrid and depressing.

NBkirby | July 03 , 2010 5:49 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for almost three years now. It is the hardest thing that I have ever gone through. I am tired of the heart ache every month, and the fact that I don't see an end in sight makes it worse. I don't understand how to cope with a situation in which every month, you are disappointed. It's not something that is remedied or fixed. It keeps happening over and over. I feel like I can't handle it, but I don't have a choice because I can't change it.

rbouge1 | July 08 , 2010 9:30 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

idk cus im the same way???

candygirl1 | July 24 , 2010 6:18 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

Been married and trying since 1998. Two miscarriages, twelve years, and one adopted son later, it still hurts. I'm 38 now and starting to feel like this is it for me. Trying to be grateful for what I do have but feeling really ripped off tonight...sorry for the pity party...

andygeorgiamatt | August 09 , 2010 10:16 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

Im 23 years old, We have been trying for a 1 year and 2 months. We have both been tested and have both been told that we were fine. And for our ages we should have been pregnant months ago. I have been on clomid and found out I didnt even need it. I was told I had hypothyroidism and once I got regulated, that I would have a baby. months later and no baby. My husband fought me at first about the Semen Count testing, but I asked him if he was in it a 100%. He said yes. So i let him know, "honey all you have to do is cum in a cup, no one is gonna watch and you dont even have to hand it to someone. I have to lay on a table month after month and let a doctor probe around inside me, get sonograms, take pills, have a monthly mental break down. Blood tests, urine tests, pill reactions and constant worry. That was before I even got pregnant, after that it was carrying something for nine months making sure nothing happend to hurt the baby or me, peeing contantly child birth and everything in between. If i was willing to do all that for something I am ready to work for 100%, and all i was asking of him was for some sperm in a cup, didnt he think that was the least he could do? Yes it will happen eventually, but so will getting a house, and a car... you have to work for it, it doesnt just happen. Maybe that will help some of you. I now consider my husband 100% on board. He has done everything asked of him with out question now, even if its just holding me while I cry every month and telling me nice things. At this point I am the one who isnt trying anymore and he is the one keeping hope and asking if I think I am pregnant and buying the pregnancy tests. You just have to put it in a way that will make them think. I hope this helps. Everyone of you are in my prayers.

alvaradojerrica111 | August 19 , 2010 11:16 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

Its been 9 months since DH and i have really tried getting pregnant. In june, DH sister told us that she was "kinda pregnant" I was crushed! Especially since DH and i had been trying so hard, and his sister and fiance hadnt been using any contraceptives for 8 months. We find out what she is having on Thursday, im really trying to be supportive and excited for her and I am, but it seems like when im around her I get super sad and depressed. Its hard when youve been trying to get pregnant and they were being careless. On the one hand im excited for a new niece or nephew, but i want to experience pregnancy so bad!! thanks for reading my venting!!

Eboom | August 31 , 2010 3:40 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I too am getting sooooo impatient! I even skipped my friend's son's first bday bash because I found it too depressing to be around so many parents and babies! Could someone explain to me how to NOT try???? This is the most ridiculous piece of advice I have ever heard! Glad to know I'm not in it alone. Good luck ladies!

crazy_in_sc | August 31 , 2010 8:21 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I am impatient as well. We have known for 2 years we wanted a child together but wanted to wait until after we got married. Well married in June this year...IUD taken out in April of this year...and still no new baby on the way. Thought maybe this month would have been it...but to no avail. And it's so hard to track my cycle. i have been anywhere from 27-37 days. It's making me crazy.

hll76 | August 31 , 2010 9:17 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

While it's frustrating that we all have this in common it's nice to know I'm not the only who is going through this. Every time someone I know who hasn't been trying to get pregnant announces they will be having a little one all I can think is "How is fair? Why them and not me?" My husband and I have been married for two years and have been trying since January of 2009. We have gone through the invitro process once already and it didn't work. My heart was broken and makes this process so much more difficult. I never thought that I would ever have these problems and it's so frustrating.

missmandyrenee | September 01 , 2010 5:41 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

missmandyrenee- I had a friend who tried for years to get pregnant, she has gone through invitro several times, it finally worked and she is 9 weeks pregnant, she said the joy you feel after trying for so long is more than you could ever imagine,she said it was definately worth all the time and effort, so hang in there! My husband and I watched 'The Backup Plan" the other night and in the beginning everything she sees is either a baby or has to do with a baby and its so crazy bc I am going through the same thing, I get so mad when I walk through Target and every woman I see is pregnant! Granted, if I dont want to see prego women then I should steer clear of the baby section... but I just cant help myself! :)

ashleyward | September 01 , 2010 7:49 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

My husband only half participates which is very frustrating. He says he will never be 100% ready but if it happens it happens. I am ready now and I would really like to have a child before we get transfered or he gets sent out on a ship. He is in the Coast Guard. It is also frustraing because he realizes that some how, when your trying it's not easy but if your an immature teenager screwing in the back of a car your going to get knocked up the first time yet those of us who waited for everything else in life to be ready have the hardest time. It just blows my mind. On the lighter side a Doctor that I work with tried for almost 2 years and now they are on baby number 3, who was a "whoopsies" that they wanted but werent trying for. I don't think my husband realizes how often people try for over a year+ when now is the right time and later is going to be the wrong time as he will inevetably be sent out on a ship soon.

stacylash | September 07 , 2010 8:58 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

We are currently seeing a specialist. 4 yrs of trying, 3 IUI's and now we are beginning IVF. I am tired of being depressed everytime I get my period. I have avoided baby parties b/c I just don't want to be around my friends who are celebrating their little children. I am at the point where I just want to be done with this b/c it is so draining. I am 34 and am on the fence about 1 or 2 embryo transfer. I would love twins, but I don't want to be overwhelmed. I am afraid to have only one b/c I don't want to regret it later. We don't hav the $ to cryo for an extended period of time so I have them down the road should I change my mind. The medication has come and I can't believe this is all for me at one time. We are very luck to have IVF coverage, however it is limited to 4 in my lifetime. I don't have direction anymore and this has turned into ranting. Best of luck to everyone!

jennybug12 | September 17 , 2010 11:04 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I feel the same way. DH and I were high school sweethearts who waited and married after college. We always prided ourselves on being responsible while our other classmates were getting married and pregnant young. We were so careful to prevent pregnancy for so many years. Now that we are ready for baby and it's not happending I am suddenly jealous of all those unplanned pregnancies that I once judged as irresponsible. I think I would much rather go through the stress of an unplanned pregnancy than the monthly crushing dissapointment that comes with each period while TTC. It does help though to read your posts and know that there are others feeling the same way. Hang in there ladies, and good luck to all of you!

lmorris014 | September 24 , 2010 10:41 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

Trying for 8 months now and still nothing. My periods are regular. And every month when I think maybe, just maybe... I get that little cramp that tells me otherwise. I know guys never let things really get to them the way women do, but its infuriating when my husband just kinda shrugs it off. I was diagnosed with endometriosis and I'm 24. I know my time is limited and so I feel the pressure all the more. My husband however just tells me to relax. Seriously? It doesn't help that I'm a nanny to a 4 yr old and an 11 month old. When I play with them or hold them, I feel that pang and pray I don't have to go the rest of my life with it.

Spazzlegirl@yahoo.com | November 08 , 2010 4:21 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I agree, its so frustrating, I just got my period today and I have been crying all night! I never thought it would be this hard to have a baby!

versace1008 | November 09 , 2010 8:45 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I too, have been TTC for 8 months! Back in early March I had my IUD removed. My doctor said that it would take 3-5 months for the hormones to completely balance out. My periods are always regular, and this past period I couldn't help but cry when I did. Thanfully, I have a husband who understands my frustrations, who also wants a baby just as bad as I do. I'm praying, and doing everything I can, and just believing that God will give me a baby. I'm already a mother to one, and am nearly consumed with the desire to feel all of the feelings again! I absolutely love my son, but am eager to feel the little kicks, and movements again.

singergirl82 | November 10 , 2010 7:26 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for a year now. I was diagnosed with mild endometriosis last May, and had the surgery for it. My doctor told us that we would get pregnant within 6 months of the surgery (which we didn't). On top of all of this, I keep getting painful cysts on my ovaries. I feel really sad most of the time. I try to keep it together, but everything is a constant reminder that I'm not pregnant, and then I get excruciating pain from the cysts. Two weeks ago, my gyno finally sent me off to a fertility doctor. They took 20 vials of blood to check for everything. I've yet to get the results back, but one nurse told me that my FSH was at 12 when the norm is 2-10. Another disappointment. I'll know all the results on a week and a half, but I don't know how to cope in the meantime. It is comforting to know that there are so many others out there that are going through the same thing. I wish for all of us. We have the same dream.

madhatterxo | November 11 , 2010 7:32 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

My husband and I started trying November 08, got pregnant right away, but I m/c'd in December. We gave it 2 months to try and get me on a normal cycle again, which never happened. My OB prescribed me clomid and did 3 months of monitoring. My first monitored month without clomid, I had a follicle on my right ovary at 18 mm (optimal size is 20-22mm); my second monitored month with clomid I had a 14mm egg - obviously going in the wrong direction; third monitored month I had NO visible follicle! Can you just imagine the heartache I felt when he told me???!! In the time between my m/c and now, each and every month, someone else has gotten pregnant, including my sister in law (who didn't really even want to get pregnant) and my second cousin - who wasn't even trying!! Although I want to be happy for them, and I am, really, it's so hard to talk to them about being pregnant because I had that happiness stripped away from me. My husband and I have recently started seeing a specialist at the recommendation of my OB. My dr. is great, she's very caring and explains everything. We just had our first IUI procedure this month...I am currently in the 2ww period. Talk about nerve-racking!! Best of luck to all of you, hopefully we can all be blessed with a happy little Christmas gift of 2 little lines, or a +!

dngetz | December 06 , 2010 11:26 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

We started trying in May 2010, after being on BC for about 4 years. I had never had issues with AF before BC or during. After has been a nightmare. 28-60 day cycles...cramping, etc. as if my cycle was actually going to behave. Dr. put me on Provera to jump start my cycle, then a round of Clomid. Success with the egg on first round, I have two nice sized ones; fabulous! my hope-meter jumped to new heights. Then the Dr. says DH has low count and trying the old fashioned way won't really do anything. So I'm sitting on at least one good egg and pondering my next action. We decided to do the IUI, yesterday was my second day treatment. Now I get to wait two weeks to test, fun! I'm trying not to let myself get too excited since everything I've read has said 1-3 sessions of IUI, and 1-4 sessions of Clomid. Keeping my fingers crossed!!

nikmate | January 13 , 2011 9:08 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

All I know is that we have been TTC for 3 years, and I am onto my second round of clomid. I try to distract myself, enjoy other people's kids, and find joy in the time my husband and i have together, because kids change that. Don't get me wrong... its hard, i have never doubted eanting to be a mom, and both of us love kids, and my sister-in-law just got preg after 4 months, but as my mom used to say; "This too shall pass"

jennihopper | January 16 , 2011 4:54 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

ok, finger crossing worked!! after my two week wait I tested and got a negative. Waited a few more days and tested again, negative. I was bummed but expecting this outcome so I was ready to move onto the higher dose of Clomid and another round of AI...the Dr. told me to wait another week and test again. I felt like I was wasting time; but I waited and tested and to my extreme shock and disbelief there were two little lines!!! I tested again an hour later and then two hours after that (can't be too sure right?) and all were positive. I'm so excited! I know it's hard to be patient when it's something you want so bad, but it will happen!!! Good luck to everyone!!

nikmate | February 03 , 2011 9:24 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

We have been trying for 2 months...it's very frustrating...I want to know why it isn't working! I have done the ovulation kit both times!!

NolanShane | February 16 , 2011 12:31 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

We have been trying for 1 1/2 years. I was diagnosed with PCOS which makes it even more difficult! I understand the frustration! I want so badly to give my husband a child and I feel like it's all my fault and I cry everytime I get the blood work that I didn't ovulate (even with extra hormone drugs)! I'm at a loss on what to do. Does anyone have any suggestions?

jklein0523 | February 16 , 2011 12:51 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

It's mildly comforting to see so many people that feel the same way I do. My friends can't understand and my better half is one of those "it will happen, it's in God's hands" kind of people and some days I just want to cry. I actually have ended a friendship due to one friends insensitivity about the subject. I try to chart, and take ov. tests but I'm very near the end of my rope. I research night and day and try to put it out of my mind but this is hard stuff.

SweetBean311 | February 17 , 2011 1:06 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I feel your frustration! I feel exactly the same way. My husband and I have been trying for 10 months. There have been 5 babies born in our families in the last 3 months, with another one due in May and a few friends who are pregnant. Although I'm really happy for my family, it makes me so sad to think I could have my own baby by now. My husband is really great and supportive, especially when I get very sad when I start my period. One of my sister's had trouble with pregnancy, too. She was able to get pregnant, but could never carry the baby and had many painful tubal pregnancies due to endometriosis. I've called her a few times when I've been sad. She suggested starteing a journal to write down all my thoughts. This way my husband doesn't get stressed out either. I have to say it has helped a little. I am able to vent and get my feelings out. Good luck everyone!

rogir31 | February 21 , 2011 10:41 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I am 23 and will be married 2 years May 3rd. We have been TTC since September and every month I get more and more frustrated and disappointed. It breaks my heart a little more every time that test says negative. It's so hard to stay positive. I have a doctor's appointment Thursday to see if I can get some answers. I just hate that there are so many people that have no problems or have unplanned pregnancies. It's just so unfair!!! It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one who cries when she gets her period or sees someone with a newborn and avoids pregnant people in the family.

TyJen | March 05 , 2011 10:57 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I have been with my husband for 13 Years and we have been married for 1 year. All I've ever wanted to be was a mom!!! We had been trying for a while with no success. I spoke with my Dr. and he did some blood test and now Im starting Clomid. I hope this works because I see babies EVERYWHERE and I just get a ache in my heart. I go through the baby section at the store, and feel so ready but I can't buy anything because Im not pg. My friends are Getting pg left and right and all they seem to have to do is look at each other. I just am glad other people feel the same as I do.

sktichy | March 31 , 2011 10:31 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

i'm 33 years old and i had a tubal reversal in August of last year and i'm not only getting frustrated with my periods (beccause i keep getting them) but im also starting to think that after all the pain i went though to have a baby that im not going to be able to have another child!

chispis | April 05 , 2011 3:53 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I wish that there was an answer, a perfect solid date for somehow your body to say, "okay, yes, this is the best day and then immediately know whether or not you have concieved". As women, we obsess about avoiding pregnancy and think how easily it is to concieve. Wow was I wrong. Were we all wrong. It is frustrating, and makes me feel like I am being punished for something in my past, but thank goodness for my wonderful husband. He keeps me positive, he believes we can when I feel like we can't. Let's all support one another, hopefully our bodies and uterus' will listen and follow suit on persuit of pregnancy. Don't dwell on what's not, be thankful for what is...

MamaMuncie | April 12 , 2011 12:36 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

After 6 months of trying and wishing everyday I was pregnant, I finally got my BFP. I then miscarried at 6 weeks :( We waited a cycle and started trying again. Although I try to stay positive, I can't help but cry when I hear "this friend is pregnant and that relative is pregnant and wasn't even trying." My husband is super positive and reminds me all the time we got pregnant once, we'll get pregnant again, but here I am another 5 ttc cycles post-miscarriage and coming up on a year since we started this journey and I'm still not pregnant. I just wish my baby dreams would come true.

drcoolswifey | April 12 , 2011 1:28 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

My hubby and I have been trying for about 15 months now, and naturally I'd been getting pretty discouraged. But, just last week I bought the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" off of Amazon, and I am now SO encouraged and excited to keep trying (and a bit ticked that my doc didn't tell me any of this. *sigh*) I am learning to understand my 28-42 day cycle (it's not as irregular as I was thinking), and suddenly I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel. Please, please, if you're frustrated, pick up a copy of this book. And here's to all of us getting our BFPs soon!

OrlaLynn | April 12 , 2011 2:18 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

It is a lot harder then you ever think it will be. I am still early in the game (TTC for 3 cycles now) but I burst into tears at work after I found out a friend was pregnant. It made me feel even worse that I wasn't happier for them. I am really trying to focus on the positive and not let it get me down. It will be worth the wait when we finally get the big positive!

elfano | April 12 , 2011 3:13 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I know how each adn every one of you ladies are feeling. My partner and I have been trying close to a year now. I am only 27, and there hasnt even been 'a bite of the rod' so to speak. We are getinng concerned, yet like so many others, can not afford IVF. But desperatly want a child of our own. Surrogacy is not an option, as it's illegal where We live here in Australia, so we cant try that methos.. We cant adopt until will ahve several failed attempts at IVF.. (again.. no money). Sometimes, its hard. Too hard. and I am SICk of all my friensd falling pregnant.. one is about to give birth to her THIRD. So sad..

helloemily | April 12 , 2011 6:00 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I know its really hard but you need to stay positive. My hubby and I have been ttc for over a year now. We are seeing a fertility specialist and I am on Clomid and now prometrium since my progessterine levels are not where they should be. The nurse told me that I am at a level 7 and should be at a level 10. Not impossible to get pregnant but the pregnancy may not take with my levels. So disappointed to hear that. So hopefully taking this Prometrium twice a day will help us. I wish you all the best and don't give up!

noteloping | April 12 , 2011 7:15 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

It is the most frustrating thing ever! We have been TTC for 4 years and no luck :( When we first started we didn't think much of it because who would've ever thought that it would be so hard to get pregnant. After almost 2 years we went to see a doctor. I had some blood tests done and Dh had a SA done. The clinic called us the bad news that his count was low and had low motility. When we went to see the specialist and he looked over the results of the SA, he said they were within normal limits. After getting mixed information from the same test results I called Mayo clinic who performed the test. The specialist there said they were normal as well. Yeah that's right! The first doctor we saw told us the wrong information! Talk about frustrating! I then started Clomid, Estrace and Ovidrel injections for a few months. All I got was BFNs! We have been saving our money to start 3 consecutive months of IUI. Hopefully we get a BFP :) Good luck to everyone!!

mandie83 | April 12 , 2011 11:45 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

My husband and I have been TTC for 3 years now. We have tried the fertility monitor with no luck. It is getting very frustrating...especially when he has a daughter from a previous marriage. We do know that he has a lower sperm count than the doctor would like but not completely sterile. I know that that is making it difficult but when I watch friends get pregnant without even trying it makes me crazy. I try to not let it consume me, but it's hard not to. Anyone have any suggestions on what to do when it gets really bad?

soupy7608 | April 13 , 2011 8:38 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

My husband and I have been TTC for about a year. I'm on some medication to help the odds of us getting pregnant. I'm getting so upset about it that when i see someone or watch a TV show with a teen mom on it i get so mad and think to myself why not me??

RachieRay | April 13 , 2011 5:47 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I'm 37, going to be 38 in 4 months. My husband and I have been TTC for over a year and are now in a second cycle of Femara with a fertility specialist. I'm very overweight and have PCOS. It's been very hard. I work in a large office and there is always someone pregnant or who just had a baby. Everytime I'm in the store - there is someone pregnant or with a baby. And God help me if I'm watching TV and see these little twit teenagers knocked up! l often have those days of "when will it be my turn." It concerns me that I'm getting on in years for child-bearing, but it is so hard not to think about something you want more than anything else in the world. I want so much to believe that I WILL have a child, but I tend to be more a pessimist than an optimist which makes it hard. I try to have a positive attitude about it, but then I get that BFN or AF comes to visit and I'm just devastated. It's hard for me to be positive - I often get my hopes up and then I'm devastated. Any advice from anyone about how to stay upbeat about things would be much appreciated.

Budnotes | April 14 , 2011 1:57 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

First off Bump Gods, I'm HIGHLY HIGHLY disappointed in you. It's completely normal for a healthy couple to take up to a YEAR to get pregnant. (Unless of course you're over 35, and you should be concerned around 6 mo.s) You're misleading these poor women who will most likely listen to your "experts." You're making these women think that impatience is a fertility issue when it's not.

AndieD6709 | April 14 , 2011 3:16 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I was 36, got pregnant first month of trying lost baby at 21 weeks (Turners Syndrome) and have been trying ever since. I am now 39 and finally going to RE next week. I hope there is a simple solution. No rhyme or reason, just know you aren't alone and you are YOUNG if you are only 32.

jinjur71 | April 14 , 2011 3:59 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I relate to everyone on here, but had to share this great blog poking fun at the whole craziness around TTC! Read, laugh and relax!

hopeful78 | April 14 , 2011 4:33 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

Ha ! the link to the blog would help, right? ENJOY... http://blogs.babble.com/being-pregnant/2011/04/14/the-ten-worst-things-about-trying-to-conceive/

hopeful78 | April 14 , 2011 4:34 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I hope all of you gets to concieve and have a baby... I'm gettin married next month and we are going to start trying... I have PCOS and was told it will be difficult for me to get pregnant, but I'm still hopeful that it will eventually happen.

HBlevins87 | April 14 , 2011 8:42 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

We've been trying. I've gotten pregnant twice in the last 6 months....one ended in miscarriage and the other an ectopic pregnancy. I'm trying to decide which is worse struggling to get pregnant or getting pregnant and not being able staying pregnant. Either way, it sucks, is frustrating, and the whole process is super emotional! Here's to praying we all get a bfp in the upcoming months! (With nice, long health pregnancies!)

kari.sandall | April 14 , 2011 10:18 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

Excercise, eat healthy, and try to have fun. Also, for me I feel like I have more control when I do something about it, so along with charting, I started taking Fertile Bounty, and I am hoping this helps as well. I have a friend who was trying for 11 months and then took it and got pregnant. Here's to hoping! Stay strong everyone!

KeepTrying123 | June 17 , 2011 6:20 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I am 21 years old, I have endomitriosis. I hear all the time that I am soo you d and that I should enjoy my life and have fun. It hurts so much to hear someone say that because me and my husband have been ttc for a little over 4yrs now. My deal is if I'm this young and having problems then it's only going to get worse! I have had 4 surgerys after the second one I finally got pregnant! Only to end in a tubal pregnancy I was devastated I had it in my mind that the doctors were wrong, after blood work and my levels were not increasing they wanted to dnc, I didn't! Anyways long story short I finally got a new doc and found out that my ovaries aren't producing mature eggs, I've done the shots and I developed eggs finally but didn't get pregnant! I'm about to try again for our second round this time we will do do the iui too! Soo pray for me!

Littledarlin23 | July 03 , 2011 2:51 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I've been TTC for 6months now.. and the worst part about it, is friends who keep asking me when I'm going to have a baby as they all had one (QUICKLY).. and worst of all, I have a close friend who know sI"m trying and she's pregnant.. but she constantly updates me about her pregnancy kicks/painting the room/feelings/moments/excitements as if her excitement for her own pregnancy will bring up my mood when in reality, it drives me nuts!! I tried to tell her but she says I"M over reacting and "to relax" it will come ... easy fo rher to say, she got pregnant on the first try... no one gets it but this discussion group... I try to walk the malls to get my mind not to think about my next ovulation days but the mall is surrounded by moms and babies and then I want to cry... I come home and watch Baby Story and begin to cry... I even went to go get acupuncture to try and relieve the stress...but then I began to cry! Only thing that helps is some novels, I hide in my house and read for hours, distracting my mind with other "fake character's" lives...

Nat25 | July 20 , 2011 11:23 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

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janeslot143 | August 02 , 2011 3:43 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I was able to get pregnant on the first try with my son, then we desided to try again and BOOM got pregnant on the first try again, but 8 weeks in we lost the baby, we have been trying ever since but nothing, when ever I find myself getting down about it I just remember God is in control and I would much rather have a cycle then another mis-carrage...

Kandi2118 | September 27 , 2011 11:30 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

My husband & I have been TTC and I know how frustrating it can be! Especially when it seems like every time you turn on the tv there's a commercial about pregnancy or babies! But hang in there ladies! God has a plan for all of us and he know when the right time is...even if it's hard for us to accept. Good luck to everyone! I hope you all are successful in TTC and have your wonderful little miracles soon!

olsonlundberg | October 04 , 2011 9:44 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

It is so frustrating and heartbreaking each month when I find out I'm not pregnant. Two of my co-workers are pregnant and announced it within a week of eachother. I try not to get dis-couraged, but it is just so hard to know that God is in controll and that if it is in His Will it will happen. Keep trying and praying and I am sure everything will work out for all of us. <3

allybwilkinson | November 01 , 2011 1:45 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

Its so nice to read some of these and know that im not alone in this. My husband and I have been trying for 10 months now with no luck. Everyone tells me stop thinking about it and stop trying and it will happen. There are times that I do stop thinking about it but then when that time of month comes around and I get my period I cry and just wanna go hide in a corner. My husband tells me it will be ok and we will have a child. Im still trying to think positive and keep my fingers crossed. I do wish everyone on here the best!

MissTiger | December 12 , 2011 8:30 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

My husband and I have been trying now for 6 months now. I have been using the Ovulation strips, clear blue monitor, taking of the temp., and have started using pre seed. Last month when I got AF, I just started crying for the first time. My friends keep telling me to stay positive, and don't stress it. Its so much easier said then done. I have a phone appointment with my doctor this month on the 30th discuss what to do next if I don't get BFP by then.

jleblond | December 13 , 2011 1:02 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

My husband and I have been TTC for over 6 months and this month I thought I was pregnant! I had at least 5 symptoms. AF came but it only lasted a few hours and then went away. I was so excited, but then AF started again 4 days later! :( It's so hard to stay positive and hopeful when all of your friends are announcing their pregnancies and you've been trying for what seems like forever.

madridc | January 11 , 2012 2:21 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I'm 23 and have been married for two years I have been TTC since we got married but my periods just stopped after I had married for like 4 months I bummed I hate feeling this way ! A very close friend of mine gave birth about six months ago and I still haven't seen the baby because all I want to do is cry when I think about it help!!!

jena2009 | January 13 , 2012 5:05 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

i learnt many things here. nice share. helped a lot to me. Govt jobs Bank jobs Sydney classifieds melbourne classifieds adelaide classifieds Classifieds

shreyabhatt | January 26 , 2012 5:57 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

Truth is... nothing is going to take away your frustration, not until that pregnancy test comes back positive. My husband and I have been trying for 2 years... two horribly LONG years and still nothing. Honestly, I've taken up hobbies to help me cope. Reading, (not baby or pregnancy related) scrap booking, and knitting have kept my mind occupied and my hands busy. It may not work for you but it's worth a shot!

kirs101318 | January 27 , 2012 6:32 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

My husband and I have been trying for 6 months now and I am at the completely frustrated part. I started taking ovulation tests today, so I'm on a hopeful note that it will help us in knowing when the right time is. He has to travel a lot for work, so I think that's where we are having trouble, not enough bedroom time.

ashleymarie2390 | January 31 , 2012 2:16 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

Been trying for almost 5 years. Still nothing. Went to FC, had to get an ovarian cyst removed and endometriosis cleared. Keeping my fingers crossed but at the same time, what will be, will be. I'm almost past all the crying over everyone else's good news, the commercials, catalogs, baby showers and now I'm just numb to it and just might even offer a congrats and a few fake happy remarks. We've finally started to tell some family members and now it doesn't ever come up and they walk on eggshells with the subject. It's not as negative as it sounds, it's just indifference. We now refuse to get stressed out and frustrated. We'd love to be parents one of these days but can't let it take the fun and spirit out of our marriage...or TTC. Keep hope alive and keep trying cause that's the fun part. ;0)

mrssmsmyth | February 11 , 2012 12:38 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

Been trying for almost a year and still nothing. I've been reading everything on The Bump about fertility and signs of O and all that stuff and it gives me small hope. But at the same time i'm desperate to be a mom and my husband is wanting to be a father so badly and it's fustrating. My sister has been getting pregnant but has been having miscarriages and it's heart breaking. I'm happy she's getting pregnant but so sad she's losing it each time. I feel for her, and at the same time she feels for me because she tell's me all the time how she see's me being a great mom and being so excited and everything. Husband keep's giving me hope though which reminds me each time to keep trying and that we can do this. If nothing happens, well thank god for other options.

Dawnabelle22 | February 12 , 2012 12:46 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

It is so very hard to stay positive. We have been trying for years, when I say trying I mean having unprotected sex, my husband never could understand why I cry each and every month we get that negative pt. For the past 8 months we have seen our doctor each and every month, I found out I have PCOS, which should be easy to correct now that we know the problem.....nope! We have gone 2 rounds of IUI and still received a negative 2 days ago. I was going through this with a college friend who just texted me that they are finally pregnant. I couldn't even talk to her for almost a week- how horrible of me! I really try to stay positive and it was a lot easier a few months ago. I pray that we all get our little peice of motherhood soon.

darrahleigh | February 14 , 2012 12:28 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

You're not alone ladies and it makes me feel better that I'm not alone either. We have been TTC for a year now and found out in the interim that I have severe endometriosis and had miscarriage at 5 weeks a couple of months ago; had that been successful I would have been due sometime in late June. Now, the frustrating part about all this is that in the past 4 months, 6 of my closests friends/relatives had announced that they're expecting. So like you, I feel a ting of jealousy and frustration, while at the same time try to keep a happy face. It's hard on both DH and I, and family doesn't seem to understand why we feel this way. So it's a good thing to have this forum to vent to others who feel the same way and know it's normal and part of the process. I wish you all the most of luck and lots of baby dust!! Thanks for sharing your stories.

laetana | February 16 , 2012 11:02 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I have been TTC for going on 2 years. I am only 25 years old and wasn't really pushy about it since I figured I am young and it will just happen. Well when we hit our one year mark and nothing was happening, I started getting pushy. I really recommend doing this with your doctor. Demand EVERY test, every option, they can't just keep telling you to keep trying! Even at 25 I know I want my baby, and every month I get my period it is like it is taking a piece of my heart with it and the only thing that can heal me is finally seeing that positive pregnancy test! Once I demanded more tests, it was discovered that I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, with medication my progesterone levels are way up and my dr thinks that I will finally be pregnant any month now (fingers crossed :)! The one good thing about having to go through all of this, we are going to appreciate and love our babies so much and they will forever benefit from that! Stay positive ladies :)

cmsanchez520 | February 21 , 2012 12:33 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

My husband and I have been TTC for almost 7 months now. About 3 months ago I found out there was a chance I had endometriosis. I had an unexpected pregnancy 3 years ago and lost it at 6 weeks, so I already had an OB/GYN and all so I saw him again. He wanted to do a diagnostic surgery and then found out I have moderately severe endometriosis so he burned it off and told me to start officially trying, so we have been. It's hard to not get emotional when it's close to that time of the month and I'm impatient and take a home test and it ends up negative. I'm tired of my hopes being crushed by one little pink line and am sooo ready to have a baby, I have 2 step sons but I feel different since their not really mine. The first time my 6 year old step son called me his step mom I felt good, then got to thinking STEP mom. How I crave to hear the newborn cries, teaching my baby how to talk and call me their mom. I hate feeling down and thinking it's never going to happen. Knowing I'm not alone helps me alot.

LynnseyJo | May 13 , 2012 11:33 PM