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Q&A: Talking to my partner about getting pregnant?

I'm ready to start TTC, but I haven't talked about it with my partner yet. How can I get the conversation started?

Re: I'm ready to start TTC, but I haven't talked about it with my partner yet. How can I get the conversation started?

The Bump Expert

Ah, The Conversation. Try one of these subtle ways to start up the discussion...

When: After you've seen other people's kids, when your mate has spent some time with them (particularly if he's good with children.)
Say: "Where'd you learn those baby skills? I didn't know you were such a natural with kids!"
Follow-up: "Are you looking forward to starting our own family, or do you think we should wait a while?"

When: There's a baby reference on TV. Don't wait for chance -- sit down with your husband when you know there's a show with a pregnant woman or a functional family with lots of kids.
Say: "Wow, that pregnant woman looks incredible. Wonder what it'll be like for us... just as amazing, I hope."
Follow-up: "So... when were you thinking about starting to try for kids?"

When: Your spouse makes a negative comment about particular children.
Say: "Yeah, those kids are real brats... we'll have to make sure ours don't turn out like that."
Follow-up: "Speaking of which, I'd like to start thinking about kids. Starting a family is a major commitment, though -- what's your feeling? You can be honest."

The Bump Editors | May 01 , 2009 12:42 PM

re: Q: Broaching the baby topic?

I think its best to let the conversation happen naturally. Wait until a lazy Saturday morning in bed and lean over and ask what his thoughts are about starting a family. If he's "not sure he's ready" ask him what his definition of ready is. Is it financial? Emotional? Let him express himself, but also remind him that life will always be hectic. Having a child will hopefully put things in perspective and help you both focus on whats really important.

rtmusical | February 06 , 2009 5:59 PM

re: Q: Broaching the baby topic?

If you need tips on how to "start" the conversation you may need to develop your relationship a little more before deciding to bring children into the world!

Kitkatkit | March 07 , 2009 8:15 PM