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Q&A: Partner unsure about having a baby?

My husband seems to have his own timeline. We had a plan about when we wanted to start trying for a baby, and now he's starting to imply that it's too soon. Do I just need to give it time, or should we be talking about it more, or what? I'm afraid he'll be having second thoughts forever!

Re: My husband seems to have his own timeline. We had a plan about when we wanted to start trying for a baby, and now he's starting to imply that it's too soon. Do I just need to give it time, or should we be talking about it more, or what? I'm afraid he'll be having second thoughts forever!

The Bump Expert

The decision to have a baby is one of the most important and life-changing ones you can make. It should be made only after a great deal of thought and consideration, because becoming a parent will force you to be responsible for another human being. Though filled with intense joy, parenting can also be extremely challenging, and it's helpful to go into it with the right mindset. If your husband is having second thoughts, try to examine them instead of push against them.

Ask your husband what his fears are, and what he believes will change and what will stay the same. It's helpful to establish expectations that are in line with reality. There are many reasons that both genders worry about becoming a parent, whether related to fears about the future or memories of the past. Some men are afraid that a child will take their wife away from them. No matter what your own husband is worried about, make sure he has the opportunity to express his feelings.

I'd also recommend examining your own concerns about waiting and expressing them to your husband -- this will help him understand your point of view. Though you may not agree, it will be very helpful for you both to feel respected and heard. I suggest that the two of you keep talking openly about the situation and work together to come up with a plan that's acceptable to both of you.

Tammy Gold

Q&A: Partner unsure about having a baby?

My suggestion would be to see if any of your friends or family have babies and/or toddlers that you could babysit. I'm having the same problem with my husband. HIs sister has been asking us to babysit alot more with her second baby in order to get his in baby mode. I am super thankful because he would just see me continually asking as nagging. This has actually been working because he has been bringing up babies all on his own. I hope this helps and good luck they can be tough nuts to crack! LOL!

MurrayBride08 |

Q&A: Partner unsure about having a baby?

My suggestion is just to wait until he is ready and try not to bother him until then. I let my husband know that I wanted kids whenever he was ready and that I wanted to have them soon, then I stopped bringing it up. I let him think about it and soon enough, he brought it up and told me that he thought he was ready a couple months later. I am sure you feel the same way, but I do not want to have a baby without having both of us fully on board and this is a decision you do not want him to feel pressured on. I would not worry about him changing his mind forever because men naturally want to have babies with the women they love, he just does not want to do it just yet. Good luck!

downheartedpink@yahoo.com |

Q&A: Partner unsure about having a baby?

I was having the same concern, so I decided to just give it some time and just 3 days ago he called me (he was out of town for work) and said that he's been thinking about the baby situation while he has been gone and has decided that he wants to TTC after the wedding (2 months away!!!). Waiting it out is best because I would never want to get pregnant and him resent me or the baby for it.

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Q&A: Partner unsure about having a baby?

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Q&A: Partner unsure about having a baby?

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Q&A: Partner unsure about having a baby?

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Q&A: Partner unsure about having a baby?

I totally know how you feel. My husband keeps saying he wants kids just not right now and I keep wondering what is holding him back. We are financially ready and have a secure life. What else does he need? I ask him about this and he just keeps saying he's just not sure. I know I need to keep giving him time, but it's so hard to do that when I want to be a mom so badly.

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