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Q&A: How many kids should we have?

We're debating trying to have another child... what should we think about when adding to the family?

Re: We're debating trying to have another child... what should we think about when adding to the family?

The Bump Expert

Most important: No matter how much you prepare and discuss and analyze, things don't always go as planned. But, whatever happens, know that you'll learn to love whatever family you end up with. That said, here are a few things to think about as you consider another addition.

The Only Child
Stat: 17 percent of couples have just one.
Pro: Easier on the wallet (and easier to indulge just one child), and more one-on-one time.
Con: No siblings to bond with (or entertain each other when you just need a break). And, it can be psychologically distressing -- all your time and energy goes into that one child, which can pile on the pressure.

Two for Two
Stat: 35 percent of couples choose two.
Pro: The perfect 1950s sitcom standard. No worries about only-child or middle-child syndrome. Plus, you've already started raising one -- why waste the skill set?

The Fantastic Five
Stat: 20 percent of couples opt for three.
Pro: More help with household chores... and more support for each of your kids, now and far into the future.
Con: Middle-child syndrome (one parent bonds closest with one kids, one parent with another, and the last child feels left out) can be an issue. Space becomes a problem, and restaurant tables are hard to find.

Caravan of Kids
Stat: 15 percent of couples have four kids or more.
Pro: Older siblings can mentor younger ones. Higher probability of getting that coveted girl or boy.
Con: Tough to pay attention to this many... let alone pay. The average college education is over $100K -- you do the math. And, you and your partner are way outnumbered.

The Bump Editors

re: Q: How Many Kids?

My husband and I have a 10 year old, a 2 year old and a 1 year old and Ijust found out that I am pregnant again!  I am terrified!  Why?!  

coridunn |

re: Q: How many kids should we have?

My parents had 2. Me and my younger sister. I love my sister but I always wished I had more siblings for some reason. I guess because everyone else in my family had larger families. My mom has 2 sibs, my dad has 3 sibs, my uncle and aunt had 5 kids. So I want to have at least 3 kids. It might be more difficult but they always say "the more, the merrier"

pocketpixie28 |

Q&A: How many kids should we have?

My husband and I have a 4 year old girl, and from day one said she was enough for us! We were able to devote a lot more time to her, and as a result she is testing already at a higher school level. I just turned 28, and suddenly I just woke up and said, I want more babies! I see her eating alone, and talking to herself when she plays, and it kinda makes me sad! I love that she has a very vibrant imagination, and plays well with others at school, but we are now TTC and can't wait to give her a sibling or two!

vaesmama3 |

Q&A: How many kids should we have?

With the state of our world and devastation of natural resources, it is irresponsible for anyone to have more than two children, one to replace you and one to replace your partner.

rktownse |

Q&A: How many kids should we have?

My fiance and I are both one of two, my mom is one of two, her mom was one of two... but my dad is one of seven and I just love those family dynamics! Not saying we will go for seven, but who knows! And if you have ever driven through the mid-west you can plainly see we are not running out of space... so conceive on my fellow mommies!!

McErin24 |

Q&A: How many kids should we have?

We have a 7, 5, and almost 4 year old. My husband wants 6, I've always wanted 4. I was on the fence about having more. I loved being pregnant and adore my kids, but I have maintained that I do not want 2 sets of kids with huge age gaps between them. We had a MC in August and now I'm on the fence again. If I was preggo today, there would be almost 5 years between my youngest and the new baby, which just seems huge to me since there is only 3 years between my youngest and oldest, with one in between. I'm really torn!

gatorsgirl213 |

Q&A: How many kids should we have?

I'm the middle child of 3, and never ever want more than 2 children based on what I experienced as a middle child. It sucked. I also personally believe that it is environmentally irresponsible to have more than 2.

elviebird |

Q&A: How many kids should we have?

I would love to have 4, but I want 3 boys and only 1 girl. That's how my mom's family is and I love the dynamics. I grew up with only sisters so I am craving boys.

jackersCU |

Q&A: How many kids should we have?

rktownse - I disagree. If you take the time to read up on it, you'll find that exponential population growth is a thing of the past. These days, a large number of countries are experiencing a growth rate below what it takes to replace everyone 1:1. And it's been shown time and time again that new technologies and inventions are largely the result of a growing, younger population. Right now we have enough resources to feed and clothe everyone, but due to bad policies and greedy governments, unfortunately that isn't the case. It has nothing to do with the number of people. I hope to have lots of children myself, just because I love kids and I don't see a single thing wrong with it. If anything, it's beneficial.

achill88 |

Q&A: How many kids should we have?

I say have as many as you and your partner want & can support. H and I are each oldest of 4. His siblings are very spread out age wise, and mine are fairly close. I love having siblings & knowing that our children will have lots of aunts & uncles to learn from. We want 4-5. (no only child, two have no one to break up fights and no middle child) We both know raising that many will be a challange but wouldn't have it any other way!

dusta01 |

Q&A: How many kids should we have?

Both my husband and I are only children... Its hard to accept the fact that our children will never have any biological aunts and uncles... We have both decided that we want at least 2, but if we end up having a 3rd, then we will definately try for a 4th child... I do not want an "odd number of children"... I have friends that are middle children and I don't want that for my children... We love kids and are TTC right now, and I can't wait until I'm pregnant with our 1st :)

hot4music02 |