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Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

We’ve been trying to get pregnant for months and we’re pretty frustrated. How can I keep a positive attitude?

Re: We’ve been trying to get pregnant for months and we’re pretty frustrated. How can I keep a positive attitude?

The Bump Expert It’s tough not to obsess, especially when Aunt Flo arrives month after month. First, realize that what you’re going through is normal. Yes, a widely cited stat says that it takes the average couple between four and six months to conceive, but that means it took many couples a lot longer. And while it may seem like “everyone” you know gets knocked up without a problem, there’s a good chance they struggled too. Second, seek out support. Talk to friends or family or try an online community (like the one right here). Sharing your frustration with women who know exactly what you’re going through can really help. Try not to make your mate a constant sounding board for your TTC anxiety -- it’ll only increase any he’s probably feeling himself. On especially bluesy days, tell yourself that you will have a baby one day. Really picture yourself holding your little sprout and imagine how good it will feel. It might not happen quite how you imagine... maybe not when, either... but keep believing that it will. And when it does, the stress you’re experiencing now will be way more than worth it.

Paula Kashtan | April 30 , 2009 11:46 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I have a 5 year old and have been ttc for months now. Should i go see a Dr. since i became pregnant so soon the first time and I am having a harder time now?

niceybee05 | March 10 , 2010 12:21 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

We to are TTC and are having NO luck!! This will be our 3rd month and we have did everything from everyday to every other day..I track my ovulation and last month it said the 17th was my prime day but also highlighted was the 14th thru the 20th i do believe.. last month my period was on the 3rd then i had it again on the 30th..the 30th was the worst of my life so painful and tooooo much bleeding(usually mine our light and always regular) Its just sooo frustrating when we try over and over again and we dont get the BFP:( We already have one little angel hayden whom is going to be 3 and we got pregnant with her the 1st day my husband got out of A-school!!!

haydensmommy007 | June 29 , 2010 11:35 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

My husband and I have been TTC since we got married in Feb. Five months of trying and still no luck. We've finally picked up some ovulation test kits and hoping that will help us get a better idea of the best time to concieve. Day 3 of our kit and still no signs of ovulation. But, I have a 35 day cycle so it's very frustrating that the average person waits 7 days less than I do to concieve and also find out if she is pregnant 7 days sooner than I would. I hate those extra 7 days each month. Which also decreases my chances of getting pregnant for the year...so not fair. I'm doing my best to stay relaxed and keep faith in the idea that it will happen when it's meant too, but it's hard with this huge waiting game. But, I will not give up the fight for this baby. This will be our first child and it just can't come soon enough. Can't wait to see a BFP.

meagan.parker.qzgx | July 13 , 2010 2:01 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

Meagan, I completely relate with you. My cycles are all over the place, ranging from 28 days to 42 days (typically around 35 is my average). I feel like my chances of conceiving are far less than everyone else and it is impossible to chart my ovulation when I'm so irregular! I end up taking 5 pregnancy tests every month (starting at 28 days) just to end up disappointed month after month. Yesterday, I noticed a blob of egg white CM when I wiped, so I am hoping that I ovulated and maybe this will be the lucky month for us! I did make a dr appointment for next month just in case to get checked out... Good luck everyone

cburitz | July 22 , 2010 7:05 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I have been off BC fo over a year and a half, I have normal cycles of 28 to 30 days and I know for the most part that I am ovulating. We started TTC about 9 mos ago and nothing. I am wondering if it is that I am so stressed about so its not happening or what? I have tried some different methods of tracking ovulation, which say I am, but no luck. The just relax part is not as easy as you think sometimes, especially when everyone else around is getting pregnant without any issues or so it seems, but I try. It does help that others are having issues, though I do not wish this on anyone. My other issues is not having a doctor and finding one it is not so easy. It is so hard when you want it now (9mos ago) and it isn't happening. Good luck to all.

autumndbaby | September 06 , 2010 10:25 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

My husband and I have been TTC for a year now, with no luck so far. I had a hysterosalpingogram, and everything came back fine! We also had a semen analysis, which was very low the first time. We went to a fertility specialist who told us our only option was probably IVF...scary. He also tested my husband again, only to find out that his count is completely normal?! Yay!...but still no baby :( I just started reading "Making Babies" by Sami S. David and Jill Blakeway. I would recommend this book to anyone who is frustrated with TTC. It has helped ease my mind...and has some really good info! Lots of things that can affect fertility...and we had no clue! People also recommend reading "Taking Charge of Your Fertility"...but I think if you've been trying for over a year with no luck..."Making Babies" is the better choice. It helps you figure out what might be going wrong. I know it's frustrating...but hang in there :)

zfa061309 | October 14 , 2010 12:32 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

Has anybody ever delt with high prolactin causing infertilty, I had an MRI to see if theres a tumor,(nothing bad) and after the results my Dr. said we'll start medication, has anyone else delt with is and became pregnant

tanyamedina20 | March 08 , 2011 7:58 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

UHHHHH... I am sooo Frustrated... We have been ttc for 7 months now and it is soooo aggrivating when everybody... I mean everybody is pregnant around you and that is all you want. You tell your bestfrined you want to have a baby and a month later she is telling you that she is pregnant... uhh... i dunno what to do anymore... all i can do is wait and try not to stess about it but it is aggrivating when that is all you want and everybody else is getting it but you. it sucks to think well i have to wait another month over and over again...

Jessi2056 | March 18 , 2011 7:58 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

Same here we have been ttc for about 4 months and nothing, but my sister in law, my 4 friends are pregnant, when i found out about my sister in law i was so mad cause i had been telling her that i had been ttc and she had told me she didnt want anymore kids right now and then she turns out pregnant, it sucks but i got over it and happy for all of them, i hope this months is my turn.

mendoza26 | March 28 , 2011 3:05 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

Same here...this was our 5th month ttc and AF arrived right on schedule this morning...i came back to bed and cried. Its so frustrating watching, seeing, and hearing about all of these people get pregnant seemingly without even trying. Some without means to even support a child, like my cousin who is now the mom to be of TWINS (& who just happened to run out of "plan b") REALLY!?!?!?! UGH. We haven't shared our ttc news with anyone because we don't want to share the disappointment month after month and live through the pain every time someone asks if were pregnant yet...its hard enough sharing it with each other. I have read a thousand times how "perfectly normal" it is to not conceive right away, but sometimes you can't help feeling like you're missing the boat. I do my best to stay positive and know that we WILL get pregnant eventually and pray that it will happen sooner rather than later.

rebecca_328 | April 09 , 2011 12:54 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

i can relate to the emotions I am reading from the responses. i, myself is in a similar situation. i have a 4-yr old son and have been trying for 3 months, never used any birth control since my son was born, irregular cycles. i want to move on but i am having a challenging time. how can someone move on or stop trying too hard when the subconscious mind tells you something different? ='c

duanma807 | April 22 , 2011 4:34 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

My dh and i have been ttc for a year and one month.....frustration is not the word!! People all around me are getting pregnant and i can't help but just get mad. The stress is out of this world...its all i think about!! I dont know how to calm myself down sometimes...many moments of breakdowns and tears! We have both been tested and everything is "normal" but nothing!! How does everyone cope!?

CCdolly05 | May 06 , 2011 9:34 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

CC I feel your pain. My dh and I are in the same boat...so much so we are going for our next round of tests and are now faced with the decision to start fertility treatments or keep trying on our own. I can't take another person telling me it takes time. I cry every month when I get my period. We have finally said that this month will be different. We are taking a trip and trying to relax a little. A lot of our friends that had trouble ttc said it was the best thing they did. I feel bad b/c every month I break my dh’s heart when I get so broken up. But literally every one of our friends are having babies, most of them are on their second. I wish you like and know you are not alone.

jmacquafredda | May 11 , 2011 11:54 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

My husband I am will have been TTC for 1 year in August- I get so sad/frustrated each time AF arrives!! When should I start worrying about infertility? I am 26 and he is 37 We just want so badly to have a child.....

jlbourne09 | July 27 , 2011 4:09 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

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janeslot143 | August 02 , 2011 2:19 AM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

My husband and I have been TTC for 7 months now.. Recently we found out ANOTHER acquaintence of ours is pregnant, theyhave been married less than a year.. my husband looked at me and I drank some alcohol so fast, as we had company , and as soon as they left, I burst into tears saying "it should have been us...why not us...".. he feels so bad, he doesnt' know what to do.. all his friends have kids, all got preggos in the first couple tries.. people say "just relax" and I want to slap them in the face.. it's everywhere I go.. every tv channel.. I've even avoided going to teh mall b/c in the summer it's only mommies/strollers.. I feel sad, alone and disappointed that my body can't do it's "womanly" thing and have a baby already.. I so badly wish for my parents, especially mydad who has cancer to be able to see/meet their first grandchild... Anyway, we just planned a trip for Trial #7 and I hope that helps me relax

Nat25 | August 09 , 2011 2:26 PM

Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

I just took my third pregnancy test and this time I really felt it was the one i've been nauseated for weeks my favorite candle has now made me want to vomit and can't be lit in the house and m AF is late but sadly I got a BFN and I just found myself sitting on the toilet staring at it and I started balling I feel like getting pregnant is impossible or I'm being punished and to make things worse all my friends have now announced they are pregnant or just had a baby =(

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Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

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Q&A: Frustrated with trying to have a baby?

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